***All the characters in this story are over 18 years of age. This is a work of fantasy and not a real story. It includes strong themes of incest, romance, BDSM, male domination, female humiliation and water sports. If you're not comfortable, please stop reading.***
Author's note: I thank you all for the love and support for my last series. I sort of reached a writers dilemma on where I wanted to take that series when I thought of a new idea. I'm hoping you all enjoy this series as much as the last one if not more.
Unlike other stories I don't like to rush into the sex and want to lay out the foundation, psyche and motivation for characters to commit such taboo acts. This first chapter does just that. It may not turn you on until the second half of this chapter, if you're looking for a quick nut, this isn't the chapter for it. Rest assured it gets very heated later on.
**********Jessica's POV**********
Trauma
I was in my early teens when that happened. It was always awkward around family gatherings when we would see each other. He tried to meet me more often, but I avoided him at all costs. I was still going through puberty and didn't know what I was feeling. I remember feeling numb. And sat motionless, no tears, just blankly staring at the bathroom wall with a blade in my hand. Gently scarring my arm with lines, lines of red, streaks of blood oozing out of my self inflicted wounds.
I'd begun cutting as a way of coping. I don't know why I did it. It was as if my actions weren't in my control. But it felt good. It was an outlet. My secret with myself, just like the secret I kept until now. And I'm only opening up about this now because it feels like the time is right and I want to celebrate this new chapter in my life.
Karma
When I was fourteen, having just returned from school. I heard my mom screaming in agony from the kitchen, sobbing in tears as she stooped to the floor, her back dragging off the wall with the landline cord stretching down with her. She kept mumbling "No this can't be"...."I can't believe it". Dad and Uncle Jack were returning from their seasonal hunting trip. They hit a moose, the car lost control, Uncle Jack was driving. Dad wasn't wearing his seatbelt. We lost my dad.
To my dismay, Uncle Jack survived the accident. But was bedridden and had lost all sense and feeling from the waist down. "Hah, Karma is real" I thought. I was devastated for losing my father, but had a smirk on my face knowing my uncle who raped me wouldn't be able to use his tool or legs, ever.
Destiny
Destiny wasn't kind to me either. Since Uncle Jack had no other family, it fell upon my mother to care for him. By the time we were done with the funeral, Uncle Jack had all but moved into our home. Dad's sizable life insurance was good enough to get me through college and handle our expenses for the time being, but Mom kept her job at the hospital. She was an expert in caring for the disabled at work, and would do the same for Uncle Jack at home. I never stepped foot in his room. I avoided him at all times. I could feel him peering through the walls to get a glimpse of me. Pathetic creep.
Betrayal
As perverted as he was, he eventually found a place in my empath mother's heart. And despite my several quarrels with her, trying to guilt trip her into cheating on dad with his brother, she reminded me, it wasn't cheating when my dad wasn't alive. Besides, their relationship was purely non-physical. She felt empathy for Jack and his situation, while I felt disgust. My disgust lost to her empathy and newfound attraction to Jack and his sweet words of affirmation for a lonely single mother in the suburbs.
In some ways I felt betrayed by my own mother. I felt she betrayed me and my needs and my dad's love to form a connection with this crippled man who had raped me. No, I hadn't opened up to her about it. I didn't know how to tell her the man she was now in love with was the man who raped her daughter.
Brian
I was sixteen, when I met Brian. Brian wasn't very popular in school. He wasn't a jock or played much sport, he didn't have the best grades. He was just an awkward kid but a kind soul. He wasn't an alpha male by a stretch. I was still cutting and he noticed the wounds on my arm. Little did he know my cutting went far beyond, deep into my thighs and places I didn't allow anyone else to see, including my heart and soul.
Brian was kind enough to ask and talk. I appreciated his kindness. For what he lacked in physical and mental skills, he more than made up for in emotional and people skills. He got along with almost everyone and would be the first to help someone in need.
High School
It wasn't much of a surprise to anyone when we started dating. I was a lost teen and had found solace in his company. We formed a strong bond on similar values. I was sure he'd ask me to prom and I waited until he informed me that Serena, his lonely lesbian neighbor, had asked him to be his prom date. I knew Serena and got along well with her. I had a bit of envy and anger in me with her wanting to go to prom with my boyfriend at the time. But I understood her situation. As a lesbian, she didn't trust any guy friend but Brian to be her prom date.
Brian, as kind and respectful as he was, asked me for permission before he said yes to her. That's what I loved about this man. He didn't hide anything. I allowed it. Leaving me with Ignacio the scrawny nerdy kid as my prom date.
Grownups
Soon after high school, I got into one of the top universities in town. Brian didn't have much of an ambition but secured a job installing telephone poles and cables in the state. He'd go on the road a lot for work and I missed him. He eventually did a course in electrical work and was doing well enough for someone with his accreditations. Meanwhile, my college life was boring and I turned into a hermit. I studied nursing and pharmaceuticals. We found time to meet each other but I would get restless when he left for work on the road. I guess my codependency was brewing around this time.
Marriage
When I was 19, he proposed to me on one of our dates at the local Denny's. Not the most romantic spots or proposal, but that's the best I could expect from the simpleton. I felt safe in his embrace and we kissed. Oh, did I forget to mention.....we hadn't engaged in any sexual intercourse. I didn't want him to find out that I wasn't a virgin and that seal was unfortunately broken when my uncle raped me. I pretended that I was saving it until marriage. Maybe that's what motivated Brian to propose this early in our lives.
We got married the next year. Yes Jack was at the wedding in a wheelchair pushed around by my mother.
On our first night, despite trying his best, Brian wasn't a natural romantic. Brian did all he could to set the mood. Soft music, scented candles, silk bed sheets but I just couldn't feel that side of me.
Confession
We didn't have sex for a week after getting married. And every night, we tried. I finally had to confess to him about the one incident that had influenced my life until that point. Brian, my now husband, was the first person to know this deep dark secret about me. And being the man that he was, he understood and allowed me enough time before I finally felt comfortable with his touch.
Upon his insistence, I started therapy. And it helped. We finally had sex. The first penis to intrude my once sacred vagina since that dreaded night, was my husband, Brian's. I have to admit, I didn't enjoy it as much as I showed I did. I learned that from watching pornographic movies from some CD's Brian had brought home.
Sex
Brian was just not very physically impressive. He was less endowed in length and girth of his manhood. And he would often finish before I could begin to feel excited. There was no foreplay. He expressed he enjoyed it a lot and I lied to him saying I did too. I had to, I loved this man and didn't want to break his heart. I pretended to love sex with him. And honestly, I had more fun with my first sex toy. A vibrating dildo. Fair to say, our sex life was quite like most households in the country. Brian's was great and mine was dull.
Pregnancy
It was a little over six months after our marriage that I found out I was pregnant. As weak as his penis was, I was glad the sperm was strong enough to hatch my eggs. It was a time of happiness. I was delighted to carry the child of the man I loved so dearly. And I could see him being a great father. Throughout pregnancy, I had the excuse to avoid sexual intercourse with Brian. Yes, I loved him, yes I was horny, but my vibrator did a much better job at satiating me.
Tommy's Birth
I gave birth to a wonderful, healthy baby boy, Thomas. It was a natural birth and wasn't an easy one. Thomas was large, 22 inches and weighed 9.5lbs upon birth. I also withheld sex postpartum citing baby blues and physical incapability. I couldn't keep that up for long. Brian and I would have sex, but it wasn't a regular occurrence, and when we did, it didn't last over 5 minutes. He'd doze off and I'd stay up, sneaking into the bathroom with my vibrator.
Parenting
Tommy was growing up fast. And he latched on to my milk for hours. He was a healthy child and rather bigger than other infants which I attributed to my milk. Brian was a great father, he let me rest and sleep as he played with little Thomas and kept him busy. Brian would also help me change his diapers. I loved watching Brian evolve into a young father.
On Tommy's first birthday, Mom arrived alone. She mentioned, Jack's health had deteriorated and he couldn't travel. It was only a matter of time. Soon enough, Jack died and I somehow felt a sense of relief and escape. He hadn't been a part of my life for years but his death felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Mom was alone now, and I felt pity for her. She had lost her only company.
Meanwhile, Tommy was growing up to be a smart toddler. Having learned his ABC's and numbers quicker than other toddlers his age. He was an adorable child and everyone who saw him thought he was so cute. Brian and I had moved to the outskirts of town. I made more money than Brian, but we shared our expenses. It was the only place we could afford a big house for us.
Brian got a promotion soon and my career was taking off. We had found a nanny for Tommy and would eventually place him in day care and then school, as my job at the local hospital needed me to be there for longer hours. I was a registered nurse in the Emergency department and eventually in the ICU.
Typical Teenager