He seemed sad most of the time. That's what Janice thought about her son, and it troubled her. He seemed worse since going out with Karen. But she was grateful that he always seemed willing to talk to her; her son didn't hide his life from her and that meant they could have real conversations. So as they sat together in the afternoon sun she asked, "Jason, do you love Karen?"
He sort of snickered as they both took a swallow from their second beer and he said, "No way mom. Sometimes I'm not sure why I go out with her. I never seem to find someone I care about that much. Karen's okay, but I won't see her after I leave for college. It would be nice to have someone...well you know."
Janice said, "You're so young. You'll find someone if you just give it time baby; she's out there for you."
She thought of how generous his spirit was. When his birthday and graduation came at the same time, he insisted on spending the day with her before going to a party. Although he had friends and a girlfriend, Jason also felt the anxiety of separating from his primary relationship.
"I'm going to miss you when you're gone Jason," she said.
"I'll miss you too mom, but there's still the rest of the summer before I go, and then I'll come home for the holidays, and maybe you could even visit me sometimes, huh?"
"Sure honey," she said. She leaned over and put her head against his arm. She would have been surprised to know that the sensation went straight to the young man's groin. Janice had little idea that her son harbored any sexual inclinations toward her. He tenderly touched her face and she sighed contentedly and closed her eyes and said, "But I guess you'll be glad to get out of this one-horse town."
One city hi-rise can have a thousand people living in it. The whole town where Janice Drake had lived all her life had less. You could say that Bolton was a town that time forgot, but that would be giving undue credit. Time never knew it. The exact population was 973 after Janice was taken to the small infirmary, and delivered her illegitimate child all those years ago.
Janice's mother wasn't going to allow her sixteen year-old daughter bear the brunt of 'Holier than thou' looks and the gossip mill, so she took her out of school. They lived a secluded life and brought up Jason together for five years until the older woman died. The trust fund that Janice's mother left, gave her just enough to get by without having to work. After years of hardly leaving the house, the young mother continued ordering her needs by mail and phone and was content with her books and the three TV stations her old set received.
So it wasn't surprising that the young mother and son developed a tightly knit bond. The highlight of Janice's day had been when Jason came home, so it was with trepidation that she faced his last few weeks of living at home. She knew that with the fall would come his departure for college; that was not a question. The question was how she would handle the days and nights without him.
As the warming sun caressed them, Jason enjoyed his mother's closeness to him as usual, and as usual, was able to look at her the way he did, when she didn't know he was looking. He caressed the curves of her calves with his eyes, and then held her breasts in his gaze. He could almost feel the heavy weight of the full globes that now were pressed together. Because of how she was sitting, the knit fabric stretched tightly over her tits. He thought he could make out the outline of her nipple, and it made it hard to hide that it made him hard. He shifted to mask the evidence of his desire from his unsuspecting mother when she opened her eyes.
Janice turned the conversation back to Karen and said, "Even if you don't love her, there must be things you like about her, right?"
Jason drained the last of his beer and laughed, "She's got a good body, almost as good as yours mom."
She flushed a bit and said, "Oh come on, is that all you look for in a girl?"
He said, "No, but that's all I seem to find. Maybe it's me; I just don't seem to connect." His tone turned light and he said, "It's all your fault mom; I can't find a girl who understands me like you do."
She said, "Oh cut it out, Karen is smart, and that's a pretty girl Jason. I wish I looked that that."
He said, "Mom, you've got it all over Karen. You're pretty, don't you know that?"
She gave him a questioning smile and he looked her up and down and he said, "You look great." The way she took a breath somehow stimulated him enough to say, "You have great boobs."
She said, "Jason, I'm your mom!"
He said, "What? If I said you have great legs, that would be okay, but if I say you have nice boobs that's not okay?"
Janice squirmed, "Jason, you're embarrassing me."
He said, "You have nothing to be embarrassed about; you should be proud of the way you look. I am."
She said, "You are? Well, that makes me feel good, thank you baby."
He said, "Mom..." He wanted to say, 'I want us both to feel good, together, in bed, making love to each other. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted her, but the two beers weren't enough to get him past "Mom..."
Janice said, "What is it Jason, you look so sad all of a sudden." He looked off and didn't answer. "Jason? What is it, tell me."
"I can't," he said.
"Of course you can. You can tell me anything, you know that, don't you?"
"Not this," he said.
"Baby I love you, tell me, if you're in some kind of trouble just tell me, you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
"Okay mom," he said, "I am in trouble, I...love someone who'll never love me the way I do, and if I told her, she'd probably hate me."
"Oh Jason, I'm sure you're wrong. No woman is going to hate you for loving her. Did you even tell her? Jason you never know about these things, you..."
"It's you mom," he said. Janice was uncomprehending and then sat frozen for a moment. It seemed like an eternity until she looked in his eyes and the words registered.
"Oh Jason, you can't mean..."
"I do mom...and I couldn't leave without telling you. Something inside me had to let you know. Sometimes it hurts because I want you so much, and I know that I'll never want anybody else like this...I'm glad I'm going away...so you see, a woman can hate you for telling her you love her."
"Jason," she said, "nothing you could ever say would make me hate you. You just surprised me...I didn't know..." Her mind raced through past events through the prism of her new knowledge, his looks, his touches, and her own.
He brought her back by saying, "At least, am I still your son?"
"Jason..." Her voice was feather soft. "You'll always be my son, and I will always love you more than you could know. Baby, have I been the cause of your unhappiness?"
"No mom," he said. "I've been the cause. It's not your fault that I'm crazy...or sick, as most people would probably say."
"You're not sick; it's never sick to love someone, and we never paid attention to what other people thought before, did we?"
Janice had regained her composure and from her deep maternal instinct said, "What can I do to Jason?"
Jason leaned to his mother slowly enough to give her time to resist his unmistakable attempt to kiss her. She did not. What forces were combining to keep her at his lips she couldn't say, but she stayed. What started out as a kiss of affection soon became a kiss of desire. Janice's tongue, after being alone in her mouth for all her life now had a companion. The sliding, and slipping, and licking, was something she felt down to her pussy. The simple pleasure of their tongues playing, and promising more, was a newly-found sensation for her. There was a pang in her heart for what she had missed. She felt as a girl getting her first lovers kiss. That it came from the mouth of her son compounded the confusion and excitement. That it all came from this first wondrous kiss, impassioned, and scared her.