A woman sat next to me at the bar. I caught a familiar whiff of her perfume. She sat a little close, so I was about to make conversation when I got a surprise ... it was my mom.
"Congratulations," she said. "You have to answer some questions, young man."
"Mom," I said surprised, then with a whisper and a quick look around, "What are you doing here?"
She laughed at me, giving me a quick hug and kiss before adjusting herself on her stool. She already had a glass of wine so she must have been here ahead of me. I'm not sure how I missed her.
"First question," she said. "Pick a number between one and ten."
"Five," I said.
"Sorry, you lost," she squealed, and clapped her hands together rapidly. "You have to take off all your clothes."
"Oh, very funny, mom," I said.
I watched my beautiful mother. It may be the alcohol thinking, but she is definatly the most desirable woman in the room. She's off limits to me as a partner, but she is everything that I'd ever want in a woman. Although we could never be as intimate as I'd like, she did allow me to flirt.
"Oops! You sat in a pile of sugar!"
"What," she asked surprised, lifting herself and looking.
"Yeah, mom. You sat in some sugar because now you have a pretty sweet ass."
"Oh my god! That's too corny," she laughed and slapped my knee.
"Where does the time go," she asked. "Only yesterday you were such a cute boy, making me laugh, always playing in mud and being underfoot. Now look at the handsome young man I made."
"Mom? Why didn't you call? I could have met you earlier."
"My phone is dead and besides I knew from social media that you'd be here at this time of day."
"Well, I'm glad we ran into each other," I said and leaned in to give here a kiss on the cheek.
"Look at you," she said with an adoring smile. "My son. Going to college. And such a stud, sitting here in a bar drinking, looking at women, representing the male species."
Mom looked around the bar and noticed the women across the way.
"I know what you're doing," she said teasingly with a little giggle. "Looking for love ... and I must say there doesn't appear to be a lot to choose from. Most of these girls are my age. Poor boy. That's the way the game goes sometimes."
I glanced over at the ladies across the room. The eye contact I was making with one of them had now vanished. She was just my type too. I sighed to myself and thought, "Oh, well." I shook my head at my loss and said, "Well I guess we know why I'm here. Why are you here, mom?"
"What," she asked surprised, looking at me then quickly back at the ladies. "You can't be serious. You're actually fishing around for one of these old creatures to take home?"
"Very funny. They're beautiful just like you. What brings you to town, mom?"
"Would you believe I was just passing through?"
"Nope."
"OK ... I was just checking to see your girlfriend."
"I don't think that's why you stopped by," I said. "Also, I don't have a girlfriend ... I'm looking for one," I smiled at her. "Are you worried because I can't keep one on the hook long enough to take home to meet you?"
"It just worries me that you like women my age," she said with a little disgust and glanced back at the ladies. "There is obviously a huge age gap over there. I'm not sure how I feel about that."
"Mom. I'm an adult now. You did your job so you can relax now."
"I know. I know. I'm sorry," she said thoughtfully. "I guess I'm OK with it. Who am I to judge."
I watched my pretty mother sitting on the stool with her wine glass. She looked happy but I could tell she had a bit too much to drink. She took a gulp of her wine, swishing it around in her mouth before swallowing.
"I think I may be happy about it actually," she said.
I looked at her with a questioning eyebrow.
She acknowledged my eyebrow and said, "I'm not mad. Socially, you're my child and my son, but legally, you're an independent adult with your own life to live. But going back to the age gap ... I'm here to tell you that relations with an older woman can be much more satisfying when you're first starting out." She gave me a wink and lifted her glass and said, "I should know what I'm talking about."
"Say, mom. I can tell you've had a few already. I'm a little concerned. How long have you been here anyway?"
"About an hour. I was settling into my third glass when I saw you come in. I had to shew off my visitor. See that guy chatting up the ladies?"
"I see him." He had moved in on the lady I was making eyes with earlier. Lucky bastard. He was an older more age appropriate guy for my mom and, frankly, more age appropriate for the woman with the eyes.
"I could have taken that home," she signed and took another gulp and swish of her wine, finishing the glass.
"You're drunk, mom," I said and finished my glass. Crap. I realized too late that I mentally promised myself earlier to not have any more alcohol around my mom. I always say stupid stuff when I'm a little buzzed.
"I'm not drunk," mom retorted and then immediately belched. She looked around and pointed at me for just in case anyone had heard.
"We'll maybe I am a little tipsy," she snickered and leaned in on me to chuckle against my chest.
"How many have you had already?"
"Just the one. Slow night ... Oh you mean how many glasses of gin? This is my last," Mom said eying me. Her eyes were steaming with mischief and I felt a weird tug at my heart which indicated I definitely had too much to drink.
"I think I've had too much gin for the night," mom said. "Because I'm feeling a little horny."
"Mom. You're drinking wine. Not gin."
She looked at the red residue in her empty glass.
"I don't know where this came from," she said and put the glass on the counter and pushed it away from her.
"I think we need to call it a night. You can sober up at my place."
"Oh my goodness, son," mom said with wide eyes. "I can't say I'm shocked but it is a little unexpected."
"Mom. You have the wrong idea," I said with a laugh. I reached out and squeezed her hand, "You just need to sober up."
"OK," she sighed, patting my hand and brushing my cheek. "I need to focus. For some reason I thought you were going to take me home with you."
"I am," I said sternly which surprised mom again. "So you can sober up," I explained. "And then you can go safely to your house."
"Oh, OK," she said, like she was in a daze. She sat up straight and took a really deep breath. I couldn't help but ogle her breasts as she did that. Mom stared out into space and quietly let the air out slowly. She laughed a little through her nose and said, "Crap! I am a little tipsy."
She covered her face with her hands and set her head down on the counter. I patted her back. Mom giggled and sat up again smiling, "I'm glad you're here to rescue me."
"OK, lady," I said to mom. "You've had enough so I'm taking you home."
"Great thinking," mom said while trying to find the floor with her feet. "Glad to see you still have your manners."
I helped her stand and assisted her with her items that all empty-nest mothers and older women seem to carry around everywhere.
"I get to follow you home," she asked cutely with a mischievous smile. I could tell she had something in mind.
"Yes, mom."
"Ah, good. My parents always told me to follow my dreams."
"Oh my god. You're the corny one," I said laughing.
"Corny? That was awesome!"
As we double checked around us and prepared to leave mom said loudly, "Stay back, girls! I'll handle this one." Then she snickered and hugged me, chuckling to herself as I helped her to the front doors and out of the bar. "Come on, honey," she said very loudly as we exited. "You're hear looking for cougars. You found a cougar."
"Mom," I whispered. "You're being embarrassing."
"Let's give them something to talk about," mom laughed as she stumbled and almost pulled both of us to the ground but I caught her in time and kept us both on our feet.
My apartment was only five blocks away. Mom hung on to me to keep on her feet the entire way. She got a little slap happy and laughed at everything. She was a little handsy as well and flirted the entire way.
I opened the door to my apartment and we stepped in.
Mom shut the door and quickly turned, leaning her back against it. I could tell that she felt excited. I began to wonder if she had taken something more than just alcohol.
I suddenly realized that my last sip of alcohol had kicked in somewhere along the way because I did something stupid. I placed a hand near her and I leaned in very close, trying to be a movie star but feeling weirdly bold with what I wanted to do.
"Don't let my 'older woman' good looks give you any big ideas, kid," she said as she smiled at me.
I pushed the hair back from my mom's pretty face with my free hand and surprised both of our intoxicated selfs by kissing her full on the lips. Mom, surprised, wasn't kissing very well so I gently eased her lips apart with my tongue and a moment later she softened and gave in to me.
We shared a mind blowing kiss that grew more passionate than I had intended. I could taste the mixture of gin and tonic and wine that she had earlier as our tongues caressed. The kiss, intended to shock as a flirty thing, went well beyond it's intended boundaries.
"Oh, my goodness," she breathed when we came back up for air.
Mom looked at me confused, holding my face with both her hands. I became aware we were both panting as we eyed each other, wondering what would happen next.
"My baby likes goodnight kisses from his mother," she said and gently placed another soft, caressing, yet warm and lingering kiss on my lips.
Our tongues meet again and time became weird and crazy. I don't know if it was seconds or minutes but it felt like my mother and I experienced a bonding of souls at that moment.
We came back up for air and she said, "Oh, honey. This is the work of those diabolical villains, Gin and Tonic."
I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her forehead.
"Shouldn't you be flirting with that young bar maid instead of me," she asked.
"You know I hold you in the highest regard, mom, but ... "
"Here it comes ... "
