Times were hard, no thanks to my father who had decided that my mother, now aged forty, was past her prime and needed to be traded in for a newer model. He had dropped the bombshell one evening, annoyingly, after he'd had his meal, which gave her no opportunity to tip it over him. Over time, we found out that he had acquired a new woman and crazily, she was only about four years older than I was. I could understand this person's reasoning, dad was a good catch, he had a great job bringing in plenty of money each month, we lived in a nice house, full of mod-cons and never really went short, that was until he packed his bags and moved out from home and in with her.
The next three months I remembered as a time of tears, mood swings and bitter recriminations, never sure what type of reception I would encounter when I arrived home from college each day. I had offered to drop out and get a full-time job because there was no way mum's meagre salary from her part-time job was going to cover all of the bill's, let alone buy us food as well. She would not hear of it, to her, my education was important, and my father was just going to have to stump up some money, whether he liked it or not.
She had made the decision that she was going to get a full-time job, but for a woman who had spent most of her life being a housewife and had no qualifications whatsoever, there was truly little out there for her and what there was came with a paltry pay packet.
I was home one evening, the weather outdoors miserable and to be honest I could not really afford to go out at the moment. There was nothing on tv and mum and I had been sat chatting about her options, the longer the conversation had gone on, the more despondent she had become, and I could sense one of her mood changes approaching, which was why I made my silly remark, something to try and lighten the mood when I told her laughingly.
'Well, as a last resort, you could always become a webcam model. I believe some of them earn tons of money.' It wasn't a suggestion, simply one of those flippant remarks to try and make her laugh. She scowled in my direction, giving me the kind of look that she nowadays saved for my father. With a cheesy grin, I dropped the subject, thinking no more of it as I headed for my bedroom.
Lounging on the bed, I had all but forgotten my comment, it had been made in jest, there was no way my mother could ever be a model, not even a shop window mannequin. Not only was she not pretty enough, but her body was also completely the wrong shape, she was the type of woman who if you walked past her in the street, you would have forgotten what she looked like thirty seconds later. To say she was average was an understatement and while she may have been slim when she was young, the years had added extra to her body.
Having forgotten all about it I was surprised several weeks later when she decided to re-visit the subject of my comment. She had found a full-time job even though the pay wasn't great and was at least managing to make ends meet, even though it was a long way from what we had been accustomed to.
'What do these webcam malarky's do?' She asked.
I wished now that I hadn't said anything, how did I start to explain to her exactly what the models did without embarrassing myself. The easiest solution I decided was to give her my laptop so that she could view for herself what the models did to earn money. The last thing I wanted to do was sit next to her as she watched these women perform, so once it was set up, I disappeared towards my bedroom. I shouldn't have bothered because the next forty minutes consisted of me continually traipsing up and downstairs to answer her questions.
Somehow sensing that she had got the wrong impression, thinking that all she had to do was sit around partially dressed as people paid her money, I had to try and explain what she essentially had to do to earn it. Her face looked shocked when I moved away from the ones she had been watching and found some that were in the process of performing.
'I have to do that?' She stuttered.
Nodding my head, I tried to explain the concept to her, sure that my face was crimson and trying to avoid the use of words that I had never used in my mother's presence. I was delighted when at last, she seemed to lose interest and I was able to escape, finding it difficult discussing sex with her.
As time passed, I was convinced that she had forgotten until one evening when she asked me to produce my laptop again. I was forced to sit next to her as she clicked from one performer to another, asking me questions all the while.
'Could you set me something like this up, not connected I mean? Just so I could practice?'
I looked at her horrified, 'Was she contemplating giving it a go?' But she was persistent, it was only a bit of fun she assured me and that she just wanted to give it a try and see how she looked, certain that she could perform as well, if not better than the women she had watched.
I knew there was an old computer up in the loft and a spare webcam she could use. It took a couple of hours that weekend as I set the machine up, placing a small table at the end of her bed on which would sit the monitor and webcam. With everything good to go, I tested it out, the camera giving a crisp clear view of her bed and a little to each side, so long as she stayed within those boundaries, it would capture everything she did.
With it being a Saturday, once I was done, I showed her where to click to start recording and left her to it as I went to meet up with friends from college and grab a coffee. Late afternoon I phoned mum, asking if she wanted a takeaway for tea before picking it up and heading home. She looked pleased with herself as I got in, asking if I were going out again that evening, I would have loved to, but our money would just not stretch to it.
'I'd like you to watch it with me,' she had said, 'Tell me what you think.'
What I thought, was that it was a really bad idea, but she was insistent and so I retrieved a few bottles of beer from the garage and settled down to watch what she had recorded.
'My God,' she was awful. At first, she looked petrified, like a rabbit caught in a car's headlights, when she got used to being in front of the camera, she looked wooden. Her facial expressions never changed, not one hint that she may be enjoying herself and thankfully, apart from a few seconds glimpse of part of her bra and panties, there was nothing to see. If I had been browsing for someone to watch, she would have had less than ten seconds of my attention before I would have clicked away.
I had to be honest with her, if this were something that she was determined to do, presently she would be left disappointed and humiliated. Whilst not being as brutal as I could have been, I explained all the things I saw as being wrong. The beer helped, she had pinched one of the bottles and I was soon back in the garage, thankful that my father had a large supply in there as I carried an armful into the house.
Taking the time to impress upon her where she was going wrong, I tried explaining what would be required.
'At some point, you are going to have to get naked. You are supposed to be teasing the punters who are watching you, as though they were here in person. And, you are going to have to bring yourself off. Or at least make it look like that.'
At first, my words seemed to deflate her, but as she consumed more beers, she began to get silly.
'Watch me and say when I go wrong,' she suggested drunkenly. 'It's extremely hard when there is no one here. How are you supposed to act sexily to a bedroom wall?'
Stupidly I agreed, nipping down and fetching several more bottles of beer upstairs. Even with the bedroom light on, it was still a little too dark for the camera as I nipped to my bedroom and returned with a spot lamp, setting it up at a distance so that the light was not too harsh.
Sitting in the middle of her bed, she tried, bless her, but she just did not come across as sexy no matter what she did. We must have spent at least an hour, laughing more than anything else, but it just wasn't working for her. 'Here, change places with me,' I eventually told her.
She stood behind the camera and monitor as I stared into the lens, still able to see my mother by raising my eyes slightly. I blew kisses at the lens whilst running my hands up and down my chest, bit by bit raising my t-shirt to expose bare flesh and then as they came into view, I flicked my nipples, twisting and playing with them as they became erect.
Closing my eyes, I began to enjoy myself. The beer helped of course as I ran hands over my stomach and down to my groin, massaging my crotch before unbuttoning my jeans and sliding my hand inside, my fingertips, meeting the head of my expanding shaft. It was then that I came to my senses, suddenly remembering that my mother was watching me as I blushed profusely and refastened my jeans.
She was drunk, but now very much wanted to have a try at what I had just demonstrated. Watching her I felt embarrassed, to me, she was my mum, not some sexy woman. Knelt on her bed, the first thing I noticed was that she wasn't looking at the camera, she was looking at me. I felt uncomfortable as she began to run her hands over her breasts, cupping them and seemingly, in the way she was staring in my direction, offering them to me. I imagined that beneath her tightish buttoned cardigan top, was only her bra, and again I felt a cold sweat as slowly she began to unfasten it, slipping her hand inside at one point as she massaged her left tit.