Matched with Mom

Author's note:

While this is a standalone work, and you don't need to read any other works to understand it, it takes place in the same continuity as Three Tales from the Incest Inn, The Fertility Idol, and The Try Taboo Challenge.

If you have questions like "What's the woman in the green dress's whole deal?" or "What was the lust epidemic?" or "What's up with WhichWatch?" you can find answers in those stories.

Thank you for reading.

Chapter 1: The App

Virgil's mother, Lenore, was worried about him. He was approaching 28 and he still didn't have a serious girlfriend or really any prospects. She knew that he'd been with girls in the past, through the neighborhood gossips and his Feed, but for some reason either the girls never stuck around or he pushed them away. Whenever she asked him about it, he just said he hadn't been with the right woman yet.

That was about to change, though not in a way Lenore expected.

Lenore worked at a library, just as her mom had before her, and on this particular day, all the patrons and all her coworkers were excited to share the news.

"Did you hear about the new app?"

"They say it's perfect."

"Everyone is talking about it."

"I downloaded it this morning."

"Psst!" Lenore sounded at her coworker. "What's this app everyone's talking about?"

"You haven't heard?" her coworker asked. "Supposedly, these data scientists created a dating app with a perfect algorithm."

"There's no such thing," Lenore said.

"I would have said the same thing," her coworker said. "But people are saying it's really legit."

"What's it called?" Lenore asked.

"Luvr," her coworker said, writing down the stylized spelling on a note card. "It's tagline is 'The perfect dating app.' If you just search it, it's the first one that pops up."

"I'll have to tell Virgil about this," Lenore said. "He's a data analyst, and he's single. He'll probably be really interested."

"It can't hurt," her coworker said.

"My match is in Milan," a library adult said. "How am I going to get to Milan? I don't even speak Italian."

"I'm lucky," another library adult said. "My match is at least in the tri-state area."

"I knew it," a third one said. "I went to college with my match. I always knew we would be good together."

Lenore didn't need to tell Virgil about the app, as it turned out, because his coworkers were already downloading it in droves.

"It has to be a logistic regression algorithm," one of Virgil's male coworkers said, connecting his laptop to the overhead projector in the meeting room.

"No way," a female coworker said. "It's a clustering algorithm. That's the only thing that makes sense."

"What if it's a nearest neighbor algorithm?" someone suggested. "I bet it's pooling a bunch of data, then just guessing."

The first coworker, who had hooked his laptop up to the projector, had already gotten a match.

"It's too fast to be any of those," he said. "Look at her."

A picture and name had appeared on the screen.

"How do you talk to her?" Virgil asked.

The coworker found a letter shaped button and tried to send her a message, but a pop-up appeared. "Your match is not on Luvr, yet. Once she downloads the app, you will be able to message her."

"That's a joke, right?" the coworker asked.

"Someone else plug in," the third coworker suggested, and the second coworker swapped the HDMI dongle over to her laptop.

It took a couple of moments, but another match appeared on the screen.

"He's handsome," the coworker said. "Look at that jawline."

"It looks like he's online," Virgil said. "Why don't you message him?"

The coworker went to send a message, but one appeared before she could.

"Hi there," the message said. "I guess you're my perfect match."

"Looks like it," the coworker said. "I'm Penny."

"I'm Mike," the man messaged back.

Virgil looked at his coworker and she was blushing a deep red.

"It looks like it works," Virgil said. "Now I just want to tear into the code."

"Where even is the code stored?" the first coworker asked. "I can't find a Tree or a Bin."

"I don't think there is one," Virgil said, taking the first coworker's laptop from him. "I bet you it's like WhichWatch. No Tree, no Bin, shouldn't even run but it does."

"We're going to be out of a job if this shit keeps up," Penny said. "Black box algorithms in magic apps."

"Are you going to download it, Virgil?" the first coworker asked.

"Nah," the third coworker said. "Virgil's a Luddite outside of the office."

"That old meme about shooting my printer if it ever makes a noise I don't like," Virgil said. "I probably won't download the app. I don't like putting anything on my phone if I don't know how it works."

"You sure you're not just scared of finding love?" the first coworker asked.

"Aren't you tired of picking up girls at Porto's?" Penny asked.

"How would I ever get tired of picking up girls at Porto's?" Virgil asked. "I'm not scared of some app because it might bring me love, I'm scared of some app because it could steal all my data and sell it to some dark web hacker."

"If Luvr is real, would that be worth it?" the third coworker asked. "Your perfect romantic partner for a little bit of data?"

"There's no data sales anyway," the first coworker said. "If it really is like WhichWatch, the parent company doesn't have access to the data. It's all encrypted in-app."

"I'll wait and see," Virgil said. "If you all get your identities stolen, I'll know not to download it."

"Weak," the first coworker said.

"Whatever," Virgil said. "You all have fun with your black box, I'm gonna take off."

Virgil went home and tried to create a fake Luvr account, but it didn't work.

"We're sorry," the app said. "It looks like you might be trying to use a false identity. We'd appreciate if you used your real name to create an account."

"Damn," Virgil said. "They're good."

He tried to decompile the app, but just like WhichWatch, it didn't work. Where there should have been code making the app run and work, there was something he didn't recognize, something that defied the laws of computer engineering, as if it'd come from a different world.

"Oh sweetie!" a voice called from the doorway. "Mommy's coming in."

Virgil closed all of his programs and was standing up when his mom came in. She was wearing her work clothes, stockings and comfortable black flats in a purple and black dress, with a nice lab grown diamond necklace that drew attention to her ample chest. Not for the first time, he had to stop himself from staring at her chest and look up at her green eyes. Her ginger hair was pulled back in a ponytail down her back.

"Hey mom," he said.

Lenore's eyes lit up as she saw him, standing there in his blue work shirt, sleeves rolled up around his elbows, and his khakis. Not for the first time, she found herself looking at the print of her son's dick in his pants, the subtle outline of it under the cloth of his slacks, and had to pull her eyes up to his.

"Hey sweetie," she said, crossing the room to kiss him on the cheek and run her hand through his dark red hair. "Have you heard all the hullabaloo?"

"The fuss about Luvr?" Virgil asked.

"Everyone at work was talking about it this morning," she said. "The perfect dating app, can you believe it?"

"From what I've seen so far, I don't know. The idea of an algorithm being perfect is pretty alien to me, but it looks like it works. One of my coworkers already found her perfect man. We'll see if they're still together in three months."

"Have you thought about trying it?" Lenore asked. "I know you've been lonely."

"Mom, I'm fine," Virgil said. "Just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean there's something wrong."

"I know, but I'd like to know you had someone," Lenore said. "Someone other than your dear old mom."

"What about you, mom?" Virgil asked. "You haven't been with anyone since dad left. Have you thought about trying it?"

"Oh no," Lenore said. "I couldn't."

"Why not?" Virgil asked.

His mom blushed. Virgil's father had not been a positive influence on her self-confidence, and part of her felt like there wasn't a perfect partner for her. But she couldn't say that to Virgil. So instead she just stood there.

"I'll tell you what," Virgil said. "I'll download the app if you do."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," Virgil said. "We can both find our perfect matches."

His mom thought for a moment.

"Deal," she said. "Friday night, you can come over, I'll make dinner, we can have some wine, and we'll both download the app."

"Deal," Virgil said.

Later that night, Lenore reclined on her bed in her bathrobe. She picked up the remote to put something on her television, but stopped. She'd been a bit bothered by something all evening, but she couldn't figure out what it was. Something about Virgil and Luvr. She felt... nervous about Friday? A sense of nervous anticipation. But why?

She opened her robe and looked down at her body, her ample breasts and her wide hips, the hair above her pussy, her thick thighs. She hated her body so much, wishing she was thinner and more traditional. Was there really a perfect match out there for her? And Virgil. Was she ready to give him up?

That thought struck her as odd. He was an adult, of course he wasn't hers anymore. But if he found his perfect match, would he still have time for her? Would he just run off with his new partner and leave her all alone?

Why had she agreed to download the app? It all seemed so... scary now.

Meanwhile, Virgil was asking himself the same question. He had always told his mom that he hadn't been with the right woman before, and now he felt like he was staring down the barrel of a gun. How was he supposed to tell her that he was in love with her, that he'd been hoping beyond hope that one day he'd have the opportunity to... he didn't even know, court her? What even was his plan? And now there was a deadline of only a couple days before he'd never have her. She'd have her perfect match and he'd have his, and there'd never be anything to bring them together.

Why had he agreed to download the app?

He went out to one of the state parks near him and started running, following a path he'd run many times before, up and down through the trees, tracing his way through the woods trying to clear his mind and lose himself.

The next two days were stressful for both of them, as they both wanted to call off their deal, but neither would. Lenore picked up her phone to text Virgil, then thought the better of it. Virgil went to send his mom a message over his Feed, but then stopped himself. Both found it hard to concentrate on work and neither was very much looking forward to their deal being closed.

When Virgil finally arrived at his mom's house on Friday, he was ready for the glass of wine his mom offered him.

"You ready?" he asked, sitting down on the floor beside his mother's legs, her short dress showing off her calves and thighs.

"Ready as I'll ever be," his mom said, pulling our her phone.

They counted back from three, then downloaded the app. Then they counted back from three again and opened it. There was a long silent pause as the apps ran on their phones, and then a buzz and a tone as they were both offered their perfect matches.

Lenore gasped, covering her mouth, as her son's face appeared on her screen. Virgil slowly turned his phone around so that his mother could see her own face on his phone screen.

They both sipped their glasses of wine for a long moment of silence, both trying to figure out what to say to the other.

"So what now?" Lenore asked.

"Well," Virgil said. "According to the algorithm, you're my perfect romantic partner, so I think we should date."

Lenore sat forward on her knees.

"You're my son," she said. "I made you. I raised you."

"And now I'm you're perfect romantic partner," Virgil said.

"Virgil, it's incest," Lenore said.

"Mom," Virgil said, "I know. I don't think that changes anything."

"How can you say that?" Lenore asked.

"Because I think the algorithm is right," Virgil told her. "I think you're my perfect romantic partner."

"Let me think for a moment," Lenore said.

She stood up and walked around the living room from one side to the other and back again, pacing as Virgil watched her body moving in her dress, thinking about the way her breasts and ass moved as she walked.

"Alright," she said.

"Alright?" Virgil asked, excited.

"We need some rules."

"What kind of rules?" Virgil asked.

"First, nobody can know about us. I know that incest has been normalized lately with that Try Taboo challenge, and incest porn and all of that, but it's still taboo. Nobody can find out."

"It'll be our secret," Virgil said.

"Second," his mom said. "We can't have sex. I'm willing to give dating a try, but we can't cross that line, because once we cross that line there's no going back."

"I'm disappointed, but I accept," Virgil said.

"Third, and this is important... wait, you're disappointed?"

"If we're going to be together romantically, I think we should at least have sex on the table."

"You want to have sex on the table?" his mom asked.

"I want to leave sex on the table while we're dating," Virgil said. "Where we do it isn't my biggest concern."

"Oh," Lenore said. "Right. Anyway, the third rule is that if it isn't working for any reason, we call it off and go back to being mom and son like it never happened."

"I don't know if I can agree to to that," Virgil said.

"Why?"

"Because if it doesn't work out, I'll be heartbroken."

"Oh, my baby boy," Lenore said, taking Virgil's head and pulling it to her chest. Virgil wrapped his arms around his mom and held her.

"I'll do what I need to do to be with you," Virgil said. "If that's a condition, then I accept."

Lenore kissed his head.

"Why don't you go home," she said. "We'll have our first date tomorrow night."

Virgil smiled. "That would be great, mom."

Chapter 2: The First Date

Virgil wanted his first date with his mom to be special, so he thought all night and day about what they should do. He knew her favorite restaurants, but it felt too little. He could always take her to one of his favorites, but there was a chance he'd run into someone he knew, maybe even a girl he'd picked up at Porto's one night.

There was one thing he thought would be good: Downtown was a fancy wine bar his mom had wanted to try, but said she never had the chance to try. But what about dinner? Everything seemed too... cliché. He wanted something perfect for the two of them, something nobody else would think to give her. He searched online until he found something he thought she would love, even if it wasn't what she'd said she wanted.

"What should I wear?" Lenore texted.

"Either some of your librarian clothes or something fancy, either will work."

Lenore split the difference. A black dress she hadn't worn in several years that was only a little too tight, her leggings and a purple shawl from her work wardrobe. She grabbed a coin style necklace from her jewelry box and checked herself out in the mirror. When Virgil picked her up, he looked her up and down. It was odd to have her own son checking her out, but she also felt... sexy? Wanted? Desirable.

He drove her up to the north part of the city where she never went, up into the hills that surrounded their county, out to a small restaurant that had clearly been someone's house before being renovated.

"Welcome to Reds and Reads," the hostess said. "The bookstore's on the left, the wine bar is on the right. Please don't take wine into the bookstore, but feel free to take books into the wine bar."

Lenore blushed as she looked at her son.

"This is wonderful," she said. "I didn't even know this place existed, but it's everything I could ever ask for."

"This is just the first part," Virgil said. "The aperitif to the rest of the date."

His mother found some books that she thought looked interesting, a romance novel, a literature novel, and a collection of horror stories, and Virgil bought them for her, before they walked over to the bar and got a couple glasses of wine. There was a back porch area with picnic tables, and they sat and sipped their wine while they talked about their books. The view was one of rolling hills, punctuated by yellow tufts and a blue and pink evening sky.

When they finished their wine, Virgil drove them back into the city, stopping at Umberto's, a cozy pasta and wine place he'd read about but never been into. The host led them to a booth near the back, and the waiter brought them more wine, and they at slowly and talked slowly, and Lenore realized that it was the best first date she'd ever had.

Once they had eaten, but before they had finished their wine, a jovial Italian man came by their table.

"How's the happy couple?" the man asked.

"Excellent," Lenore said.

"That's what I like to hear. What are your names?"

"I'm Virgil," he said.

"The poet of Rome," the man said. "Led Dante through the underworld. And you, ma'am."

"Lenore," she said.

"Pondered over volumes of forgotten lore," the man said. "I love it. I'm Umberto, like the writer, and this is my restaurant."

"It's a pleasure, Umberto," Virgil said. "You have a wonderful restaurant."

"This has been amazing," Lenore said.

"That's what I like to hear. You two come back now. If I'm not here, you tell them that Umberto said you get the happy couples' discount."

Umberto placed a check on the table in between them and walked away.

Lenore reached for it, but Virgil grabbed it.

"My treat," Virgil said.

"You're not going to buy me everything from now, are you?" Lenore asked.

"I don't know," Virgil said. "I make much more than you do, so it seems fair I should pay for our dates."

"I suppose I can let you pay for our dates," Lenore said. "But you're not going to spoil me and pay for everything. I can still pay for my own way like an adult."

"I know you can," Virgil said. "But you don't have to do it all alone anymore."

Lenore opened her mouth, but suddenly felt something in her eye. She reached the back of her hand up and brushed away a tear she hadn't realized had fallen.

"All this time I've been worried about you being alone," she said. "Really I'm the one who's been lonely, haven't I?"

Virgil nodded, reaching across the table to take his mom's hand.

"You don't have to be lonely anymore, either."

He drove her home, then walked her to her door.

"You coming in?" Lenore asked.

"I don't know if I should," Virgil said. "It's only our first date."

Lenore rolled her eyes. "Come on, we'll drink some more wine and watch a movie."

Virgil waited on the couch while Lenore changed from her dress and leggings into a sweater and pair of pajama pants, then came back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Do you want to take your overshirt off?" she asked.

"Should I?" Virgil asked.

"Well, I'm going to cuddle up on you, so if you think you'll get warm, probably."

Virgil took off his overshirt and kicked his socks off, throwing them into the chair beside them.

Lenore sat down on the couch and relaxed against Virgil, letting her cheek rest against his shoulder, her body pressing against his as he wrapped his arms around her. She let her hair down, and it fell across Virgil's shoulder. She put something on the television, a show she'd been in the middle of watching, kissed Virgil's cheek, then took her glass of wine and sipped it.

After a few minutes, she felt something poking her. She wondered what it was, thinking that Virgil must have something in his pocket, but when it twitched, she realized exactly what it was.

"Oh," Lenore said.

"Sorry," Virgil said.

"No, it's okay. It's natural, especially at the end of a date."