Massage Mat

As I came down from my powerful orgasm, I was swept over by a wave of nostalgia and bittersweet memories--thinking of how wonderful things had been with Dan before his illness. I missed him terribly, even after five years, but I was happy that we had had so many wonderful memories and had produced a fine son.

I gradually became aware, though, that there were sounds in the house. This was strange, as Jason was not supposed to have been at home. I put on my robe and went into the hall. JasonÕs door was closed, but I could hear him rustling around. I was horrified that he might have seen something, but even more concerned that something was wrong with him.

I knocked softly on his door and asked, ÒJason, are you in there?Ó "Uh, yeah, mom." came the reply. "What on earth are you doing home? I thought you were at TylerÕs.Ó ÒI was, mom, but I came home to get my Madden Õ13 game.Ó

Jason popped out of his room brandishing his pride and joy football game. "It's still ok if I stay over at Tyler's, right?" he asked. "Of course it is. I was just surprised that you came home." Jason gave me a quick hug and said, "Ok. Cool, mom." Then added cryptically, I'm sorry I surprised you." He hurried off before I had a chance to respond.

After he had gone, I wondered what he had seen. Since I hadn't expected anyone and wasn't planning to masturbate, I didn't bother to close the bedroom door. Although we had not had an in-depth conversation about sex, I knew that he had some awareness and had found evidence of his masturbating in soiled bed linens and used tissues. I didn't want Jason to feel that he had done something wrong, but also didn't want to go into detail about something that he may not have even been aware of. After pondering things for a bit, I gave up and went to bed for the evening.

I woke early, feeling refreshed and surprisingly sexually energized. I took a quick look at the time. Six-o'clock. Jason would be sleeping late at Tyler's and would be home close to lunchtime. I got up, used the bathroom and made sure the bedroom door was closed. I spent a lovely half-hour on the massage mat, this time using my hand to finish things off with several powerful orgasms. As before, I felt the presence of Dan penetrating me as I climaxed.

I had the house pretty well cleaned and lunch ready when Jason and Tyler arrived. We ate and the boys scooted upstairs. They had a hockey game that afternoon, and I was going to take them. The game was intense and the boys' team won with a last-minute goal. Tyler scored twice and Jason played a great game, too. I was really proud to see how Jason's teammates respected and admired him. We dropped Tyler off at his house and went home so Jason could shower.

"Would the hockey champion like to go out to celebrate his victory?" I asked. Jason beamed, "Yeah. That would be great, mom. How about Las Margaritas?" "Ok, kiddo. Get cleaned up and we'll make like Mexicans."

We had a nice dinner together and Jason chatted a bit about school and the hockey team--he also brought me up to date on the finer points of how he killed Tyler at Madden '13. When we got home, we sat together in the family room and watched some hockey on TV. After a few minutes, I could tell that there was something troubling Jason. "Is something wrong, Jason?" I asked, "It seems like something is on your mind."

He blushed crimson. "No, not really. I mean, nothing really muc..." his voice trailed off. "Well, I hope I have'Õt done anything to upset you, honey. If I did it wasn't intentional.Ó "Did I do something that you'd like to talk about?" That was about as far as I dared go to open the door to a discussion without entering the TMI zone.

"No. Everything's cool.Ó He clearly didn't feel comfortable, so I thought it better to let things drop. A short time later, we headed up to bed. I lay awake for some time, feeling vaguely uneasy about Jason's state of mind. I determined that I should at least look in to be sure he was ok. I opened my door and walked down the hall toward Jason's room. Before knocking, I paused. What I heard froze me in my tracks.

There was a regular, wet, slapping sound that I immediately recognized as the sound of a man masturbating. More startling was that my darling boy was grunting like a stud horse and moaning, "Oh my God, mom, you are so fucking sexy. I'm going to give you my fuckin load, baby. Fuck, fuck, ahhhhhhhhh shit."

I was horrified, of course, but also felt some emotions that I couldn't identify. Needless to say, I crept back to my room and closed the door. Clearly Jason was in no immediate danger. I, however, was in a state of utter confusion. I understood that an 18-year-old man would be masturbating--on quite a regular basis no doubt--but I had no idea why on earth Jason would choose me as the subject of his fantasies though. We had always had a good, open parent/child relationship and had grown somewhat closer after Dan's death but I couldn't think of any romantic interest that Jason ever evidenced.

Then it hit me: What if Jason had indeed seen me in the throes of passion last night? That might be enough to allow him to think of me as a female more than as his mother. I knew then that we would need to talk this out.

During breakfast the next morning, I chatted with Jason about trivial things. We also talked through the day. He had another hockey game and it was important, so I decided to postpone the conversation until the game was over. I thought it might be upsetting and wanted him to be able to be alone and undisturbed afterward.

I took him to the game and again was tremendously impressed with him. He was obviously the leader of the team and not only played extremely well but was inspiring his teammates and they clearly looked up to him. With a short time left in the game, he was hit with a vicious check that left him crumpled on the ice. My heart leaped into my mouth as the coaches ran out to him. His coach, though, immediately turned to me and gave me a thumbs-up and mouthed, "he[ll be ok" so I throttled back from "about-to-lose-my-mind" to "really worried."

After the game, he came out bent over slightly. As soon as he saw me he said, "Don't worry mom. I got my ribs bruised but I'm ok. Really. Besides, we won, so it's ok." I just ran to him and gave him a hug. "I'm so proud of you,Ó I told him, "but I was really, really worried that you might be seriously hurt." Jason put his arms around me and held me in a strong embrace. His face dropped forward into my hair and he said softly, "Don't ever worry about me. I'll be ok, and I'll always be here for you." I squeezed him and he gasped. "Ow. My ribs." "Baby, I'm so sorry," I apologized. "Buy me some Mexican again and we'll call it even," he grinned.

He showered quickly and we headed out to the Mexican place. Again we had a nice dinner but his ribs were bothering him. I offered to let him use my massage mat when we got home, and he smiled.

When we returned home, I told him "Take another hot shower. It will relax your muscles and then the mat will feel really good." He agreed, and I brought the mat to his room while he showered. As I laid it on his bed, I saw the semen stains on his blanket, apparently from last night's session. The stains were splattered for about two feet across the blanket, so he must have ejaculated powerfully. I simply laid the mat over the blanket and went back to my room to watch TV.

After a while, Jason knocked on my door. "What is it?" I asked. "Uh, mom, could you help me get this mat going?" "Sure," I said, "I'll be right in."

When I got to his room, Jason was in a pair of gym shorts, lying on his back on the mat and fiddling with the controller. He smiled at me, and said, "You're the expert with this thing. What do you recommend?" I replied, "Well, I'm not exactly an expert, but I think the heat would do your back a lot of good. That's the red button. Then you can get the vibration going and move it up and down with that green one."

"Ahhh." Jason sighed as the vibrations hit the right spot on his back. "There's also a wave setting and a control for the intensity of the vibrations here," I said, showing him the buttons. Jason started playing with the controls and giggling. "Hey, this tickles," he said. "Hee hee...butt vibes." I smiled, but reminded him, "this is supposed to be therapy for your back, not a toy." "I know," he said. Then he said something that sent chills up and down my spine. "So what setting did you have on the other night?" he asked innocently.

"I..I'm not sure what you mean, Jason," I replied. My voice shook a bit, and I could feel myself blushing. "Mom, when I came home to get my game I came upstairs and you were on your bed with the mat. You were really into it, so I just went to my room, but you totally looked like the famous scene from "When Harry Met Sally"--you know, the "I'll have what she's having" scene. I sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Ok. Busted. I didn't know if you saw that or not, but yes, I was "into it" with the mat. For some reason, it just got me going that evening. I would have talked with you about it sooner, but I didn't want to bring it up unnecessarily. I was, though, thinking that we do need to talk. You see, we're even, because I heard you last night.Ó

He blushed and asked, "What did you hear?" "Enough," I replied. "Jason, honey, I'm not offended or upset. Frankly, I'd be more concerned if you weren't masturbating at your age. I was just surprised to hear you seeming to be fantasizing about me." As soon as I said the word "masturbating," I could see a bulge appearing in Jason's shorts. By the time I had finished there was a full-fledged tent.

"Shit, mom. Busted. When I saw you the other night, I never saw anyone or anything more beautiful than you at that moment." He sat on the edge of his bed and looked directly at me. "I knew what you were doing, and I was so happy that you were feeling so good. When you started to call out dad's name, I thought that was so sweet. I wanted to give you a huge hug.Ó

I felt tears running down my face. "I only want the best for you and for you to be happy, Jason," I said, "You've always been the most important thing to me and to your dad.Ó

"I know, mom, and I'm really happy." He wiped the tears from my face. "I wish dad were here to take care of you and to make you happy too. But he's not and, well, I want to be sure that you have everything you need, too. You don't know how much I want to take care of you."

I couldn't control myself and started sobbing. Jason held me close and let me cry on his shoulder. After a few minutes I collected myself. I hugged him close and kissed his shoulder then his hair then his forehead. "Just be a good kid and you will make me the happiest woman on the planet," I told him. "Deal," he replied in a husky voice.

I stood up. "Ok, my wonderful son, it's bed time," I said firmly. "Ok, mother darling," he teased, "Your obedient son will go to bed. By the way, do you want your mat back?" he asked with a wink. ÒNo, thanks, I'm good. Use it on your back tonight." "Hm. I've got other things to take care of," he said, "Sure you don't have a need for the mat?" "I'm sure. Besides, I don't need a mat for everything," I said with a smile.

When I got back to my room, I slumped onto the bed in a haze of joy, grief and, God help me, arousal. Clearly my recent activities hadn't quenched my sexual thirst--rather, they seemed to have heightened it. I began to regret not having the mat, but realized that would only make the issues with Jason worse.

I got ready for bed and climbed under the covers, still not sure whether I wanted to finish myself. A light tap on the door brought my deliberations to an end. "Mom? Can I talk with you again?" Jason sounded upset.

I opened the door and let him in. He obviously had been crying and was upset. I sat him on the edge of my bed and asked him what was wrong. ÒI don't know. I just feel so bad," he mumbled. "I can't get you out of my mind. I think I'm going a little crazy. You're the best mom ever but I can't stop thinking about you like a girlfriend. I'm so sorry and I feel so perverted.Ó

My heart ached to see my wonderful son so upset, but I didn't know how to comfort him without making the problem worse. I decided to take a risk. Jason was worth it.

I took his beautiful face between my hands and looked into his eyes. "Jason darling," I began, "I am responsible for you having these feelings, and you have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed or perverted. Seeing me masturbating has unleashed a lot of feelings that you;re having trouble find a place for. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You feel how you feel." I felt tears welling in my eyes.

"I'm ashamed to say that I also desire you as a man. I shouldn't, and you've done nothing to encourage those feelings in me--in all of this you have been much more "adult" than I. Nevertheless, this is how I feel.

"I do know, though, that to act on these feelings would dishonor your father--he wanted both of us to be great people, not purveyors of incest. So you and I must work together to find a place where we can honor our feelings, each other and dad.Ó By this time, I was sobbing.

Jason reached out and embraced me as I sobbed uncontrollably. He too, was crying and I felt his tears on my neck as he pulled my head to his chest. In spite of everything that I had just said, I couldn't help responding to him as I would to any man who showed himself to be a strong, protective and comforting person. I cursed myself for my weakness and immaturity, but was helpless--and I knew that I was at the mercy of Jason's maturity and judgement.

Somehow, accepting my feelings calmed me down, and once I stopped sobbing, Jason quieted too. We remained in a silent embrace, both afraid of what might happen next. I felt Jason pulling me closer and stroking my hair, and then I felt myself falling into a void. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them I saw a raging erection flourishing in Jason's shorts.

"Oh God, mom," Jason gasped, "I can't help it." The look on his face was a mixture of lust and pain. That galvanized me into action. I knew that I couldn't stop this completely, but I thought that I might be able to re-direct it in a way that would allow us both to escape relatively undamaged.

"I know, baby," I said. I looked directly into his eyes. I wanted his desire for me to be at a fever pitch. "You are a man and you know when you want a woman. And you are totally hot, baby." Jason pulled me in for a kiss, but I played hard to get. "No, not yet. First I want to see what you've got under the hood." I pulled his dick out of his shorts. I sprang straight up against his belly. Excellent. He would not be able to last for more than a few seconds.

"Show me what you were doing the other night, baby," I whispered in his ear. I took his strong hand and wrapped it around his throbbing shaft. To make sure he got the idea, I jacked it up and down a couple of times. "Show me how you beat off thinking about me."

He was instantly beyond the point of self-control and began moving his hand up and down. He looked into my eyes with an air of desperation. "That's it. That's my man. Show me how a real man does it," I encouraged him. He suddenly kissed me and I felt myself go weak, then my whole body was shaking. "Ahhh," I heard him moan as we kissed. I broke the kiss and watched his hand, now a blur, pump his shaft. I stroked his chest and played with his nipples. "I know you need to let it go, baby. Do it. Get it all out of your system. Let go for your mom."

Jason looked at me with a furious lust. He quickly stood up and aimed his cock at my face. I knew what he was going to do, but couldn't react quickly enough to stop it. Anyway, I doubt that I would have done so if I could have.

With a few rapid, powerful strokes Jason brought himself to climax. His body twitched and his cock jerked up strongly. The first shot was so powerful that it flew over my head. I dimly heard the semen as it splattered against the wall and onto the bed behind me. He was determined not to miss with the remainder, however.

He grabbed my head with his free hand and pulled my face to within inches of his spurting cock. The second shot found its mark--I barely had time to open my mouth to catch some of it as the rest spewed onto my face and in my hair. There was one more strong burst that again found a home in my mouth and hair. With a few final shuddering spasms, Jason jacked out the remainder onto my chin and t-shirt. As his cock relaxed, I looked up at him. He was gazing lovingly down into my eyes.

I gently kissed the tip of his penis as it relaxed. He responded by rubbing it against my face and hair, and I nuzzled him. The sperm on my face was dripping down onto my shirt, and I was filled with the scent and taste of him. I knew at that moment that I would not ever be with another man besides Dan and Jason--he had marked me as his woman in a way that completed me. As we fell onto the bed together, I wondered how the next chapter of our drama would unfold.