Mandy and Kelly closed the door behind them after entering the room. Kelly had a kitten themed pencil case full of supplies for us. She emptied it out on my blanket covered lap. There were four of the vacuum balloon things in a larger size than I was currently hooked up to. There were some absorbent pads in case of a spill; a small tube of the cream for my tape rash, and a bunch of individually wrapped disinfectant wipes.
Kelly lifted my gown exposing my abdomen while my boxers kept everything else covered. She pulled a sharpie from the breast pocket of her scrubs and drew a small black ring around the drainage tube, just above the bandage. "I want you to inspect this often, and if the line has moved, it means the tube has moved and might not be positioned properly. If that happens, do not try to push it back in. You will need to come back and see us. I'll change the balloon now so you can see how it's done." She lifted off the piece of tape that held the balloon to my belly and realized that she had overlooked this spot when she applied the cream."Oh, I guess you'll need to put some cream here," she said.
"Maybe you can do that for me," I said hopefully with a cheeky grin. She looked back at me with a devilish look in her eyes.
"You can put cream on yourself can't you?" Mandy said sounding annoyed with me and obviously not getting the inside joke I had with Kelly.
Kelly kinked the tube with a small c-clip and twisted the balloon end off. There was a gross smell in the air that surprised Mandy and I. Kelly didn't flinch. She tossed the balloon into the bio bin and returned to me. She opened a new balloon package, and gave both ends of the tube a quick wipe. She squeezed all the air out of the balloon before fitting the tube ends together. "I don't want to tape this to you, since you are reacting to our adhesive, so I'll just tuck this in here for now," she said, slipping it under the front of my boxer's waist band. "Nothing to it right?" Kelly said. "The home care nurse will change this bandage if necessary," pointing to the one around the tube.
"You will not be able to take showers or baths," Kelly said. "The bandage needs to be kept completely dry. Also, don't bend over beyond sitting or do any squatting." Putting her finger on the tube she said, "this thing is delicately fit between your abdominal wall, and the squeezing pressure of these muscles could pop it out of place. You can sit, but don't try and tie your shoes or put on your socks or anything like that."
"So I guess I have to wash your smelly feet for you?" Mandy said.
"The glories of nursing!" Kelly said to her. "Get used to it!"
A different nurse knocked and entered the room with paperwork that she handed to Kelly before leaving. Kelly packed the supplies back in the case and then spread the papers out on the bed in front of us.
"So these are the discharge forms which have the Doctor's instructions on them. This one is the contact information for the home care nurses, but they will call you with the appointments. Only call them if you need to cancel. This booklet is about appendicitis. The first half is the kid's version with cartoons, but in the back is the parents section that explains the general process. If a problem comes up and you are not sure whether you should come back to the ER or not, you can call the nurses station here. I wrote the extension on the page for you along with my name. Ask for me, in case I happen to be on the floor, but if not anyone can help you. Any questions?" she asked.
This would have been my opportunity to smoothly ask for her phone number, but with Mandy in the room I just answered, "No. I think i've got it."
"Okay," she said turning to Mandy. "I'll help him get dressed and he'll be out shortly. We'll get him a wheelchair for the ride down to the exit."
"Cool. Thanks Kelly," Mandy said leaving the room.
Kelly pulled the curtain closed and retrieved my bag of clothes. She pulled the blanket down and slipped my socks onto my feet. She had me sit up and swing my feet off the side of the bed. She reached into the front of my boxers and pulled the balloon out, brushing my penis with the back of her fingers in the process. She bent down and got my feet through the legs of my pants before helping me stand. She raised my pants into place, gently tucking my junk inside before zipping them up. I put my shirt on and she tucked the front of it into my pants to act as a cradle for the balloon. She gave me a light tap on my butt and said, "I guess you are good to go."
She stood in front of me and we locked eyes. "Kelly, I..." I started to say.
"I'll see you in a couple of days I'm sure," she said.
"Yeah, okay, thanks." I said.
It was an uncomfortable way to leave things. She seemed to be trying to be very professional again, although she had just tapped me on my butt. I didn't want to mess things up by making her feel uncomfortable, so I tried to be whatever the equivalent to 'professional' would be for a patient. We had just shared such an intimate moment, just saying, 'thank you, goodbye' felt awkward.
"Thank You, Goodbye," I said awkwardly.
Mandy wheeled me down to the hospital exit where we were met by the same Uber driver that had dropped us off. "Long night for all of us," I thought. The sun was up but it was still early. Looking over at my sister I caught her in the midst of a huge yawn that left her watery-eyed. We were both going to sleep this Saturday away. I video chatted with my Mother who had been waiting up all night in her hotel room to talk to me. I filled her in on everything and reassured her that Mandy and I could handle things.
I slowly got out of the Uber and back into our house. It felt great to be home. We were both anxious to have a nap but we were also starving. Mandy wanted me to have something light, but I insisted on a grilled-cheese sandwich. She finally gave in, but only made one and cut it in half for the both of us to share. I gently sat on the sofa to eat.
"How's the balloon doing," she asked, sitting down beside me.
I untucked my shirt and had a look. "Not even a quarter full," I said.
"Good! Then we can get some sleep before we have to deal with it," she said. She knelt down in front of me and slipped off my shoes and socks. "I assume you can handle the rest on your own," she asked.
"Yep," I answered.
I slowly stood up and shuffled my way to my room. The pain was gone but I was nervous about dislodging the tube by moving around too much. When I got to my room I realized Mandy had been following right behind me. I dropped my pants and slowly sat on the bed, looking back at her in the doorway. "Thanks Mandy. I owe you big time," I said.
"No problem Marcus," she said. "I am going to set an alarm for four hours and I'll come and check on you. We'll probably have to change that balloon by then."
After a much needed nap, I was awoken by Mandy who brought me in a couple of pancakes, one overcooked and one undercooked. She sat on the end of the bed in a tank top nightshirt, a pair of boxer-type sleep shorts and long white socks pulled up to just below her knees. Her long brown hair was down and she had her glasses on, having removed her contacts for her nap.
"Thanks! This looks great," I lied.
"Did you sleep okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, great actually," I said, wolfing down my pancakes.
"The Home Care company called and said they won't be able to come by until Monday morning," she said. "They are short staffed with the pandemic too I guess. Nurse Kelly made it look easy though, so we should be fine."
"Yeah, she was great," I said.
