Mame
Chapter One
"I wish more of our residents had relatives like you," Sharon said. She was the Residential Director here at Sunny Acres, the "adult care" facility where my great-grandmother had been in residence for almost five years now.
I laughed and said, "hell, she saw me through most of my childhood while my mom was pickling her liver in vodka, it's only fair that I do what I can for her."
They brought her out in a wheelchair, a wizened woman of 87. I saw that the attendants had done a good job making her look good. It was, after all, her birthday. Her face was nicely done, a hint of eyeshadow on her wrinkled lids, and her curly wig on her head, covering her nearly bald head. Eyebrows had been painstakingly drawn in, supplementing the few coarse hairs she had there.
She was painfully skinny, her elbows the biggest thing on her arms and her knees knobby and big on her pencil-thin legs.
They had dressed her in a bright patterned dress, almost like one of those Hawaiin shirts you see. She looked terrific.
And she was smiling at me, that wonderful smile that took decades off of her face.
I walked beside the wheelchair, holding her hand, as the attendant pushed and Sharon kept talking.
"You're checking her out for the weekend, right?" she asked and I said, "yep. Kind of a birthday tradition. I'll take her dancing tonight, for a picnic tomorrow, and then we'll watch football on Sunday. When the game's over I'll bring her back."
When we stopped at the curb where my little car was waiting Mame kicked the footrests up, and stood on her own.
"Save that thing," she said in an old woman's querulous, high-pitched voice, "for someone who needs it."
The attendant laughed and said, "I know Mame, but it's the rules, you know how it is."
"Don't patronize me, whippersnapper," she said and we both laughed at that.
Sharon took her hands and said, "Happy Birthday Mamie, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
Gramma grinned, the too-white grin of dentures, and said, "maybe I'll get laid."
Sharon patted her hand and said, "maybe you will at that."
She turned to me and said, "God, her sexual disinhibition is getting worse."
"I heard that," Gramma said.
"I figured you did, you crazy old broad," Sharon said, giggling, "now be good. Don't bring home any diseases."
Gramma sort of cackled at that and I opened the door for her and I helped her into the car.
It was a nice day so I reached over and flipped the handle and then pushed the button that lowered the top on my little blue PT Cruiser convertible chick magnet. My great-grandmother likes to have the top down when it's nice.
We weren't out of the driveway before she had her hand on my thigh, high, feeling me come erect.
"That girl thinks she's kidding about me getting laid," she said and I grinned at her.
I turned on the radio and found her favorite oldies station. She started singing along with Leslie Gore's "You Don't Own Me" as we drove.
At my apartment, I opened the door and then carried her across the threshold as I had done dozens of times before.
I had spent my summers with my great-grandmother, that much of what I told Sharon was true. Left unsaid was that once I was of age we not only shared a house, but we shared a bed. She had been my teacher and I had been her willing student. When my great-grandfather had died and we had to put her in the Home, what they delicately called the "Senior Assisted Living Facility," we had cried together. But she DID need medical support and as first a student and then a teacher I just couldn't provide all that she needed.
But I still loved her. Hell, I was still in love WITH her, and at least once a month I checked her out for a night or a weekend. And this weekend happened to fall on one of those holidays we teachers get, so I had a very satisfying three days planned for us.
But first I knew what she would want.
Standing in the front room I reached down, grabbed the hem of her sundress, and pulled it up.
She lifted her arms and I peeled her like a grape.
She had no bra on. The need for that was long since passed. Her breasts were just small flaps of skin with oversized nipples hanging from their own weight, pointing straight down.
She was standing in just the Depends they made her wear for her occasional accidents.
She blushed, as she always did when I had her to that point.
I got to my knees, before my great-grandmother, pulled the Depends off of her, and started kissing her belly.
She was SO damn skinny. Her hipbones stuck out like knobs under her skin so pale it was almost translucent. Her belly fat had long since disappeared, and the skin below her belly button hung in soft wrinkled flaps.
Her pussy was almost bald, like her head under the wig, the thick meaty lips hanging a little.
I kissed them, the very faint scent of urine not bothering me at all.
"God I love you," she said as she used her fingertips to gently part those lips and lift her clitoral hood, offering herself to me.
So I kissed her clitoris, a hard little pink button, and she shivered.
I gripped her skinny ass, holding her to me, as I gave her a good old-fashioned American blow job, on my knees before her, my mouth and tongue busy at her clitoris and her nether lips.
When she came I covered her with my mouth, sucking gently, drinking her pleasure. The faintest taste of urine only added some spice to what I was doing.
I felt her knees go weak and I was pretty much supporting her with my hands on her ass, while she gasped until she got her breath back.
She smiled down at me.
"Oh yeah," she said, "I remember now why you're my favorite great-grandson."
I laughed and said, "try that 'I'm just an addled old woman' routine on someone else. I ain't buyin' it."
"Such a good boy," she said, literally patting me on the head, "now take me out. Get me drunk, and then fuck my brains loose."
I laughed again, stood, kissed her, and said, "a little patience please."
I went into the bedroom and opened the drawer where we kept her things. I got out the skimpy bikini panties with some extra padding between the legs, a much sexier version of her Depends.
Back to the drawer and I got out her garter belt and nylons and then helped her into them, making sure the seam was straight before I held out the black shoes with their very low heels. The staff at the Home always had her in tennis shoes. These would actually offer better support when she danced.
I stopped to admire her and she struck a pose. She looked terrific.
I lifted the bright sundress and let it fall over her head, settling on her shoulders.
"You," I said, "are one bawdy old broad."
"And you love me," she said.
"Let's go dancin'," I said and she offered her hand.
I took her to a club we knew, a place where the difference in our ages and our obvious, well, "involvement" is a good word, wouldn't raise any eyebrows.
Dinner was steak, the surf and turf for me, and a petit filet for her.
"God," she said, "it is SO nice to eat something that requires chewing. I swear, at the HOME," and the way she said HOME it was like the word left a foul taste in her mouth, "everything can just be swallowed."
I grinned and poured another beer from the pitcher for both of us.
The live band was doing a passable version of Bobby Vinton's "Blue Velvet" so I stood and walked Mame to the dance floor. We danced well together. She had taught me before my first junior high school dance and we danced regularly.
When they went into "The Twist" I kept her on the floor, not doing the Twist but doing a passable jive, well, passable considering I was dancing with an octogenarian. When I spun her and the skirt flared she drew whistles and blushed prettily.
"God, I love you," she said as I walked her back to the table.
We finished our beers and I walked her to the car.
At my apartment I undressed her, taking my time, hanging the dress before getting to my knees again. I got her shoes off, then the nylons, garter belt, and panties.
When I had her naked I took her hand and led her into the bathroom.
"Now for the real you," I said.
"God, I'll never understand you," she said, but she was smiling, enjoying what was coming.
I lifted the wig off of her head, placing it on the wig stand I kept in the bathroom for her. Her hair was very thin and stringy, almost bald as I brushed it away from her face.
I touched her lips and she opened her mouth. I reached in and took out her dentures and put them in the denture cup I kept for her. An Efferdent tablet and some warm water and I put her teeth up for the night.
She smiled up at me, the sunken-lipped smile of the toothless.
"I know," she said and launched into a poem she recited at least once whenever we were together. "At last I've found the perfect girl; I could not ask for more; She's deaf and dumb and has no teeth; and owns a liquor store."
"Oh, stop," I said, "you don't own a liquor store," as I took the hearing aids from behind her ears, popped the batteries out, and put them into the little drying cup.
"And you CAN talk," I said, chuckling and turning to catch the punch she threw on my shoulder.
I got the washcloth, lathered it up with the gentle face soap I kept for her and began scrubbing her face.
When I finished, I just stared.
"You are so beautiful," I said, and she giggled.
"Oh honey," she said, "I love when you say that but I DO have a mirror."
"So do I," I said, and took her hand and led her to the full-length mirror on the back of my door.
"No giggly girl can have a body this interesting," I said, running my hands down from her breasts to her pussy, "or a face with this much character," and I pulled the stringy hair back to expose it.
"You just like my big titties," she said.
I laughed and captured her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers, lifted them, and let them fall.
"I enjoy your tiny little flappers," I said and she giggled.
"I know what you really love most," she said, leaning her head back to offer her neck to me.