I'd like to tell you that me, Jane and Alana got right into a hot threeway as soon as I got in the door of their house on Grant Street, but that would be a lie. What happened was Jane gave me a beer, and told me sit on the couch in the parlour while she and Alana went for a 'talk'. I'm pretty sure she'd have been happier if I'd just left, but I wasn't really in the mood for that. Quite the opposite in fact.
See, I'd just brought my girlfriend's mother off telling her about how I'd gone down on her little girl in the cab of my truck, and as that same little girl (okay, she's 19) had walked in at that moment it had caused a little 'discussion' let's say. So while I'm sat there watching Glenn Beck they're discussing a different kind of cunt entirely. There's raised voices, tears, long silences. I was happy just to leave them to it for a while, but after I'd been sucking on a dead beer bottle for ten minutes I decided to wander through. After all, this concerned me too.
The two women fell silent as I shuffled over to the refrigerator and liberated another Yuengling. I popped the cap off, leaned back against the stove and admired the view. Both Alana and her mother Jane are close on six feet tall, with dark eyes, long dark hair and legs that seem to go on for ever. Alana was wearing her black leggings with her college sweater, whereas Jane had on her white T-shirt with some kind of fabric thing wrapped around her waist. I didn't know if she was still wearing those little panties of hers, but if she was they must have been soaked through.
"Everything all right in here?"
Jane snorted a laugh. "No, Jack, surprisingly enough everything is NOT all right here. My daughter and I have things to discuss."
Alana turned to her mother. "Don't take that tone with him mommy, you're the one who was frigging herself off in public!"
Alana turned to me. "I'm sorry you had to see that Jack. I can't imagine what must have made her do a thing like that."
Jane looked me straight in the eye...near as damn burned a hole through my head with her eyes. Her look said it all...don't you DARE tell her. I nodded, just enough to reassure her.
"Hey listen, I'm cool. Don't worry about me. Hot summer night, attractive woman home on her own at night...these things happen. Most natural thing in the world."
Jane spoke up again. "Well, I'm happy that you see it that way Jack, very enlightened of you. But still, Alana's right...it should never have happened."
I nodded, a little thoughtful.
"Well, when it all comes down to it, it's just a bit of fooling around, right? I mean, if anyone ever tried to tell me they'd never acted on an impure thought I'd call them a liar. I don't care who they are. We all need to be better in tune with our sexual side. All that repression? Why, that's the cause of half the trouble in this world."
Jane folded her arms. "Well, that's all very noble Jack, but when you're the mother of a teenage girl the world looks a little different."
Alana sighed. "Mama, I told you...I'm not going to get myself pregnant. I'm not completely stupid."
"Oh, and I was?" flashed Jane.
"I didn't say that! All I'm saying is that you've been going on about me not getting preggers for as long as I can remember!"
"Alana, I just don't want you ending up like me!"
"Mama, you 'ended up' with me!"
Jane was shocked. "Oh sweetie! I never meant...did you really think I meant that? I would never, ever, turn back the clock. You have to know that!"
Alana was on a roll now. "Ever since I was a little girl you've been treating me like a problem, and I'm sick of it! You made your choices and you got me, like it or not. Now leave me alone to make mine!" She turned to me and held out her hand.
"Come on Jack, let's get in that truck of yours and go."
Jane shook her head and stepped in front of the kitchen door.
"No. Don't go. Not like this. You're right, I haven't treated you like I should. You're not a problem to me, you're the light of my life, and that means I want to help you."
"Help me how?"
Jane turned to me. Suddenly I was back in the discussion.
"Were you planning to...lose your virginity tonight? With him?"
Alana blushed, a little.
"I was. I still am, just as soon as you get out the way."
I didn't say a word, just swigged a little more beer.
Jane nodded. "Okay. All right, well, I suppose it had to happen some time. But you should do it here."
Alana just looked at her.
"It's a special thing. You shouldn't be in the back of some greasy truck down by the lake. Do it here, in my room."
Alana looked over at me. I shrugged.