I parked outside Alana's place around midnight. I'd had a couple of drinks with the guys from work, but I'd explained that I didn't want to get too far gone as I had plans for the night. The plans were to go round to my new girlfriend's house and fuck her. But right away there was a problem.
I stumbled, just a little as I went up the three wooden steps at the front of the porch, but it was enough to bring someone to the door. A light went on. A woman in her late-thirties appeared behind the screen door and right away had her arms folded across the white T-shirt and her small breasts.
She looked me up and down. "Can I help you?"
I looked her up and down too. This was obviously Alana's mother. She'd told me a little bit about how they often got taken for sisters and I could see that right away. Almost six feet tall, dark brown eyes, long black hair and the longest legs you ever saw in your life. If she hadn't been so frosty toward me I could definitely have seen the appeal.
"Err, well, I'm Jack...I was wondering if..."
She didn't let me finish.
"You're Jack. Well, finally we meet. I'm Mrs. Weidler. Her mother."
"Pleased to meet you. Alana's told me a lot about you. I can see it's all true."
"You can skip the small talk with me. I've heard it all before."
I just nodded. "Is she home?"
"It doesn't matter where she is. You're not to see her anymore, understand?"
Well, that escalated quickly. Alana told me her mother didn't approve of boyfriends but I wasn't quite expecting this.
"Mrs. Weidler, perhaps if I could come in and talk, you'd see that I'm not such a bad guy."
She shook her head. "You're not taking a step further. I don't care whether you're a bad guy or not. The last thing Alana needs is to be messing around with boys at her stage in life."
I had nothing to lose here, so I went for it.
"And you'd know all about that, right Mrs. Weidler? I mean, Alana's not your ex-husband's daughter, is she? You must have been about seventeen yourself when she was born."
She frosted up a little more. "I don't see how that is any of your business, and I don't intend to stand here discussing my private life with a stranger."
"I don't have to be a stranger. That's up to you."
She shook her head.
I put my hand up to the screen door. "Jane. Can I call you Jane?"
She nodded, not happy.
"Jane, Alana and me, we're both adults in the eyes of the law. She goes to community college, and I work around the corner. You know that there's nothing you can do to stop us from seeing each other behind your back."
I put my other hand up to the screen.
"Matter of fact, she's the wilful type. Like yourself I shouldn't wonder, and nothing's going to set her mind as fast as her own mother telling her she can't do something. Yup, I can imagine that would fire her right up."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, I think you know very well what that means. I think you can picture it real clear in your imagination."
I leaned myself up, right against the mesh of the screen door and whispered straight into her ear. I could have sworn she smelled a little of drink herself.
"You see that truck of mine over there?"
She nodded again.
"Picture that parked down by Montgomery Lake. Me and Alana have been kissing and cuddling for ten minutes or so, but she's all riled up because her cell keeps ringing and it's you, calling and sending messages. You're treating her like a child and she wants to be treated like a woman. And that's where I come in."
Jane's face clouded up with anger.
"Do I need to call the cops to get you to leave? Because I will."
"Oh come on Jane. We don't need to get the cops involved. All I'm doing is explaining myself. Wouldn't you rather know what's been going on than set yourself up all night worrying?"
"I'm her mother. I'm going to worry anyway." she said.
"Yes, you're going to worry because you kind of know what girls her age get up to right? You WERE that girl. Matter of fact, you were even younger. And seeing how beautiful Alana is, I'll bet you were a damn sight for sore eyes yourself."
I swear she almost blushed at that.
"Yeah, I'll bet you got hit on about ten times a day round here. Hell, I bet you still do."
She muttered something under her breath at that, but I didn't catch it.
"I'm sorry ma'am, I missed that."
She just stared at me for a moment before she spoke.
"I said, don't bet on it."
I shook my head. In truth, I was genuinely surprised.
"Well, now that is one of the straight-up mysteries of the universe."
Was that a smile on her face? If so, she quickly killed it.