Love Of Music Ch 01

The clock on my bureau stated that it was 7:30 sharp. Darren was scheduled to come pick me up. He hadn't arrived yet, but I wasn't too worried. Guys are never on time.

Especially Darren. Sometimes I wondered why I ever dated such a ass. Darren wasn't even close to my type. No goals, no direction, I felt like I was back in middle school instead of the end of my senior year.

But his looks more then made up for his less than adequate personality. I looked in the mirror and carefully smoothed out my white cashmere sweater over my mint shirt. My Light brown hair neatly brushed past my shoulders in wavy wisps.

I took my thin white headband off of my bureau and push my hair back neatly out of my face. I applied sheer lip gloss to my full lips and rubbed them lightly together.

I looked at the alarm clock again. It now said 7:45. I sighed and sat gently on my bed, careful not to wrinkle my skirt.

I looked around my room to keep my mind off the time. It was fairly neat, with beige walls and light blue and green plaid bed sheets. Draped across my arm chair next to the bookcase was my navy blue gown from eighteenth birthday/coming out party.

I wrinkled my nose a bit. It was all a rather sordid affair with nobody there but three of my closest friends, my parents, my older brother, and all my father's business associates and my stepmother's country club friends.

I remember standing the corner of our parlor over looking the guests sipping ginger ale the entire time.

Every so often on of my father's associates that had one to many would come over and complement me on my good looks in phrases that all seemed to sound like:

"Your just as pretty as your mother was."

My mother died when I was born. It was a tough delivery, I have been told. She has always been referred to as a kind hearted woman with great taste and the greater gift of knowledge.

People tell me I'm like her often. It's hard for me to except, so try to live up to her great name and carry a little bit of her on in me. My father is a good man, and a hard worker. Everything he does is for his family.

He often tells me "I just want you and your brother to be happy."

He remarried when I was seven. It took some getting used to, but dad, like my mother, has good taste. Karen is a good woman, if not a little nervous. She cares about our family as much as father does. She has come to be a good mother to me and James has become like my brother.

James, my step brother is a quiet boy. Well technically he is a man now, seeing that he is now 22, even though he will always be the same to me. He has always kept to himself, involving himself in his music.

Karen taught him to play piano at the age of six, and when he and Karen moved into my father's estate there was always beautiful music floating through the corridors.

Since the marriage he has improved way beyond and of Karen's skills. He goes to a music school during the summers, and is said to have amazing potential.

Since it was now September, James has just returned from school, even though it seemed like he never returned, besides the music that was missing over the summer.

I looked at the clock again. It was already 9:12. I groaned and picked the telephone on my nightstand. I dialed Darren's phone number. Of course it went to the machine.

"Hey Darren, it Corrine. Don't bother coming. I think you know that this isn't going any were. Don't call me again." I hung up the phone and smiled a bit. So much for that. I figured I was permitted one huge mistake per year when I came to men.

Darren was more then simple amusement then anything serious. I have had many boyfriends over the years, but not one even was very serious. I guess I just have more pressing issues to wrap my mind around then senseless flings that end as quick as they started.

I heard a light rap on the door and turned my head abruptly. My father was standing in my doorway. I was wearing a pair of kaki slacks. He peered in a smiling.

"Hello dad." I said, returning his smile.

"Hey Corrine, no date with Darren tonight?" He asked, noting my sweater and my Fendi bag on my bureau, waiting for me to cart it to his car.

"No dad, I can't be bothered with him tonight." I said winking, he knew that me and Darren wouldn't last long.

Father laugh deeply. "Alright then meet your mother and James in the family room we have some news for you."

"Ok dad I'll be down in a bit." I said.

Father left the room and I took off my sweater and pulled my hair into a girlish ponytail and pull off my skirt and hung it in the closet. I pulled out a pair of jeans. I pulled them neatly over my hips and slipped on my house shoes.

As I walked downstairs I heard James' low voice.

"Hello Corrine." I looked over to him. I haven't seen him much since he got home from school. He wore a pair of black slacks over his thin frame. His wore a white t-shirt with a gray dress shirt slung haphazardly onto his arms and chest.

His thin wire glasses framed his green eyes. His thick black hair hung in his strong face lightly, giving him a softer quality. He looked nothing like his mother.

Karen was a small woman with a lovely soft frame. Her auburn hair was always pulled up in a loose bun, her stark blue eyes made her look like a small fairy. Perhaps he looked like his late father, who had committed suicide after the gulf war.

He was definitely always a handsome boy, well spoken, and very sweet. But he had matured into a very attractive young man. I didn't doubt all the girls at his school fell all over him. But he had always only had one love. His piano.

"James!" I stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I gave him a light kiss on his stubbly cheek. He blushed slightly and smiled down at me.

"How has your summer been?" He asked as we sat down on the couch in the family room.

"No different then any other summer really. I hung out with friends some, but I mostly studied for my final year exams. I don't want to fall back before I even begin." I smiled at him.

I always had a close connection with James. We didn't talk much. It just coursed between us like a river.

Since father and Karen were engaged, we had decided that we would be close. That in each other we would gain a new family, and a chance to start over again. Our young minds couldn't voice our feelings, but as we grew older the unspoken bond grew more clear.

We sat together waiting for our parents to come to the family room. My father came first. He sat in his leather arm chair and propped his ankle up on his leg and sighed.

"I really don't rightly know what your mother wants, but I seems important. She seemed quite distraught. She said she wanted to tell us as a family." Father stared at the magazines strewn out on the coffee table. He looked to be deep in thought.

I glanced over at James as he looked at me. I crossed my legs and took a deep breath. This didn't look good.

Karen then walked into the room. Her pale creamy skin was splotchy from tears. Her soft hair was tousled and her normally sharp blue eyes were cloudy and full of sorrow. She smiled at her son and me, then looked at dad and held his hand.

"I'm just going to tell you all straight out. Now this news is neither good nor bad. But I will effect the way we live now, and it needs to be discussed." she said

"I received a letter from congress stating that Howard is still alive. He is living in Florida. He suffered a great deal and lost many of his memories, and was thought to be dead. He just recently got new treatment and has been getting many memories back." She wiped her nose with a small tissue in her hand.

"I know this is hard to believe, but they have DNA matches and dental records. This doesn't mean our family is over but something does need to be done. It's been almost twenty years now. I was thinking that a divorce from Howard should be finalized." She took a large shaky breath and looked at James pleadingly.

My head was swimming. Our happy little family was being corrupted in such a fast pace. I reached for James' hand. It was limp and clammy. I looked over at him and he was staring into the distance as if he was someplace far off.

He released my hand silently and stood up and walked out of the room. He walk slowly into the parlor and shut the door behind him. I could hear the piano being played as I watch my father hold Karen. She shook violently and muffled cries came from deep in her throat.

Ran over to the parlor door and banged loudly on the door. "James!!! James open the door please!" I slid down the door and wept. Wringing my shirt in between my hands, I cried silently. The piano continued playing a melody of sweet pitches that in someway mocked me tears.

"James, I need you now." I said loudly. I felt myself sliding as I landed on the floor. I looked up to see James looking down at me. He offered me his hand and pulled me up. As I stood to my feet I felt my knees get weak.

I held onto James and wept. I nuzzled my face into his neck. He smelled of soap and sandalwood. He brought me over to the bench and held me as I cried. I finally settled down some and I set my head on his lap. He took out my hair tie and stroked my hair gently like my father did to me when I was younger.

I turned over and looked up at my handsome step brother. He smiled down at me and continued stroking my hair. It felt so nice, I nuzzled into his stomach.

"I have to go find him Corrine. If I don't go I will regret it for the rest of my life. Your father has always been a good to me and my mother. He made sure I never went without the way we did when my father was alive... or..." He trailed off.

"But I can't just let my own blood rot alone by himself." He said in a stronger voice then I ever hear him use. "Mother can divorce her husband, but not the past. I must go see him." He looked down at me with adoring eyes, stroking my face lightly.

"No. You can't go by yourself." I sat up quickly. "I can't let you, you need to be with us right now." I said quietly.

"I never said I would go alone Corrine. I can't leave you here. I wasn't you to come with me. You're my best friend. I need you with me." I looked at me and I sighed.

The next morning me and James got up at six in the morning. I packed all my money from my coming out party, about 50,000 dollars in checks. James packed some clothes in a backpack the paperwork from congress into his music sheet case.

We took the next grey hound out of town. James called the house from a pay phone and explained to Karen what was going on. She accepted it and told him everyone excepts things differently. She told him to call if anything happened.

****************************************************

Its was three days later when we finally settled in our first hotel. I took of my shoes and spread myself out onto the bed. James went into the bathroom to shower and I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was night time. I guess I was just so tired from the bus ride. James sat on the chair by the window, his head in his hands.

I sat up and looked at him. His shirt was on the floor next to him. Is black hair hung limply over his face. Slightly shining in the dark. There was a light cigarette next to him in the hotel ashtray. The smoke billowed around the room lightly.

"James?" He looked up at me and sighed. He came to sit by me on the bed.

"I want you to know I'm glad you came with me, I can't do this by myself. I never needed someone the way I need you now, and I'm glad you didn't let me down." He put his hand on my knee.

"You know James... nobody expects you to strong all the time." I said quietly. This is the most we had expressed to each other in years. He looked at me as a single tear fell down his cheek. Seeing my quite brother with tears in my eyes made me break down.

I started crying myself. Once again James held me, but I was different this time, it was tense and unsettling. I looked at his and his green eye were clouded and his thick brow was furrowed. He pulled my face to his and kissed me deep and urgently.

"James!" My heart started beating hard and I squirmed to get him off me. This just cause him to kiss me more deeply and he inserted his tongue into my mouth and explored it in a surprisingly gentle motion.

I heard a moan escape from his lips and I felt my skin get hot. I froze at the sound of my step brothers passion.

He took his hand and caressed my face gently, and I broke down and started kissing him back. My exception of his invasion in my mouth made him groan even louder as he wrapped his arms around my small frame. I ran my fingers through his black silky hair and pressed my body against his.

My body was betraying my mind, or was it that all these years my mind had been betraying my body, whatever it was I couldn't think.

My virgin mound turned slick from my brothers touch. He ran his hand side my side and lightly grazed my breast.

Suddenly he pulled it away as though his hand was on fire. He stood up and paced around the room, running his fingers through his hair.

He looked at my lying on the bet my hair mussed and breathing in small gasps, my lips were swollen with his feverish kisses.

"Fuck!" He said loudly, he went into the bathroom again and slammed the door. I lay back gently on the bed.

My mind was to confused to think about what happened. I didn't want to, it felt to right to be wrong. I lightly ran my fingers across my skin. It seemed to be on fire from his touch.

I listened to him in the shower as I brought myself to and orgasm with my slender fingers. I worked my tips over my swollen bud until I was relived. I hid my head in shame against the pillow and fell asleep.