It devastated me when my husband left me for another woman. I couldn't understand why he would do this to me. For a very long time afterward I felt unattractive and alone.
After awhile I learned to accept the situation and move on but I felt very bitter inside. Whenever I would see apparently happy couples I felt a range of different feelings. Anger, jealousy,sadness; I felt them all at the same time.
I have a thriving catering business which serves the obvious purpose of keeping me fairly wealthy and it also helps to keep me from dwelling too much on my problems. Maybe that's why my husband left me. I always made more money than he did and I think his little male ego couldn't handle it.
One day, I was sunning myself in my backyard when a shadow temporarily blocked the rays of the sun that were tanning my still firm ( for a 44 year old body ) body. I looked to see who was there and my jaw dropped. It was my son!
"Mom, it's me Peter. How are you? You look great!"
I quickly became VERY conscious of the fact that I was only wearing a skimpy black bikini. I quickly put a robe on to cover myself. I couldn't help but notice that my son seemed a little disappointed when I did that.
"Peter, I'm allright I suppose. How are you? You look pretty good, yourself."
"Mom, I don't want to live with Dad and his new girlfriend anymore. Can I live with you? I can't stand the way that Ginger comes bewtween Dad and me."
My mind went into overdrive. Here was my only Son crawling back to me after a very messy divorce that pitted me against his Father, his girlfriend, my in-laws and my Son. I was tempted to kick his butt out into the street.
I was really hurt and angry by the way my Son had sided with my husband and his new girlfriend right after the divorce. Ginger was her name! Now that is a bimbo name if I ever heard one! But I looked at my 22 year old son and my heart melted. I threw my arms around him and gave him a kiss.
"Of course you can live with me, Peter! I've got plenty of room for you. When do you want to move in?"
"How about right now, Mom? I didn't exactly leave Dad and Ginger's house with much in the way of furniture." Peter gestured towards his duffel bag, laying on the ground a few feet away.
A few minutes later, my son Peter and I were sitting in my kitchen. I made him a grilled cheese sandwhich. His favorite.
It was almost like he was my little boy again. At the same time, I was filled with a sense of pride when I saw what a handsome young man he had turned into! I imagined his cell phone ringing at all hours of the day and night with girls trying to "hook up" with him.
Day drifted into night as my Son and I caught up with what was going on in our lives. I told Peter about my catering business. He asked me if I needed any help because at the moment he was between jobs.
I laughed and said, "Why don't you help me around the house? I could really use a hand with the housework, especially in the garden." All of a sudden, an image flashed through my mind, an image of my Son doing yard work in the hot sun, without a shirt on.
I shook my head in order to clear that image out. I was disturbed that I would think of such a thing! But I could not deny that for a brief moment, I was turned on by the thought of my Son.
"Is everythink O.K., Mom? You looked a little freaked out for a second." A look of concern was on my Son's incredibly handsome face.
"I'm - I'm fine, Peter. I guess I'm a little overwhelmed that you're going to be living with me again, after all this time. How old did you say your Father's girlfriend is?"
"She's 23, Mom. Just a year older than me. I think she's a model or something like that."
I got up from my chair and walked towards the bar in the family room. I motioned for my Son to follow me. I needed a drink. I think we both did.
"I guess you're old enough to drink this stuff legally now, Peter." I poured him a glass of whiskey that was left over from when his Father still lived with me. Peter looked like he couldn't believe his eyes.
"Oh, wow, Mom. I can't believe your letting me drink this stuff. Don't you remember what happened when I was 16 and I drank a couple of glasses in one minute?"
I remembered VERY WELL what happened. AFTER I poured him the drink and it was too late to take it back. At the same time, the memory was turning me on.
"Yes Peter. I remember. I hope you learned your lesson."
Peter was laughing so hard, I thought he might turn color. He reached out and gently touched my arm. It was then that I realized I had taken off my robe and was now standing before my Son in nothing but a black bikini!
When had I taken off my robe? I couldn't remember. And I was now filled with the distinct impression that my Son definitely liked the way I looked in my bikini!
"Come on, Mom. I was so drunk, back then, I'm not sure what really happened. Tell me what happened."
I let out a long sigh. I had almost forgotten that night when my Son had gotten into our liquor cabinet. The very same one that I was serving him from now.
"What happened, Peter, was that you pretended to "kidnap" me. You don't remember? You tied me up like one of those girls in those "bondage" magazines that your Father used to buy by the truckload!"
"I did THAT?! I thought I dreamed that. What else did I do, Mom?"