Long Lost Lust

Amy wiped down the table of the corner booth, sighing with habitual disgust at the trails of ketchup, mayonnaise, and spilled salt all over the surface. How could 2 grown adults make such a mess? she wondered.

Waitressing in Eddie's Diner had gradually turned from a teenager's summer job into an unintentional career for the 40 year old divorcee.

Catching her reflection in the window, her Asian eyes looked tired and drawn as Amy tried to push back the memories of her youth.

If the wild teen she had been could see her now...

The contempt she felt for her wasted potential was almost palpable.

There was no spark of excitement left in her gaze. Two decades of spilt coffee, greasy floors, failed relationships, and casual groping by customers had left her jaded, and it was only the prospect of paying her mortgage off that gave her any sense of future satisfaction.

That would just take another 12 years or so.

Jesus Christ...

Her life wasn't

terrible

exactly.

It was

okay

...

... but Amy's secret dread was that an 'okay' life was the worst possible kind. You had no real highs to look forward to, and no real lows to make you appreciate what little things you actually had. All Amy could do was watch friends and peers pass her by, move away, get promoted, marry, build houses, travel, study, start businesses and generally live lives that were painfully far from her own.

It was almost midnight and Amy couldn't wait to get off work, drive home, and crawl into bed to watch the Bachelor.

In the kitchen, Jake was cleaning the grill for the last time (or possibly the first time) that day. Glancing around the diner, she noticed only one customer left. A young guy sitting by the counter, facing away from her.

For God's sake... she thought. We're closing in ten minutes!

Irritation bubbled up inside, but she pushed it down.

"Hey hon, I'm afraid we're closing in a few," she said with as much politeness as she could muster at the end of a 12 hour shift.

The kid turned to her and she was struck by his handsome and exotic features. He was Eurasian with clear skin, piercing brown eyes, a strong, pointed chin with high cheekbones and flawless white teeth.

"Hm. No sweat. Do I have time to get a coffee?" His eyes held her gaze. There was a playfulness to his tone, but Amy felt like he was almost studying her face.

Just don't be a creep, she thought. Whatever his deal was, she was too tired to care.

"Sure thing." She poured a cup of coffee for him. He thanked her, and added sugar to it. "That'll be three dollars."

The young man slid a ten dollar note across the counter. "Keep it."

"Thanks," she said with surprise. It had been a slow day for tips. Busying herself with counting the cash from the register, she casually asked, "It doesn't bother you that coffee will probably keep you up til morning?"

"Nah," he said with a smile. "Got nowhere to be."

"Must be nice."

"It's not bad. You should try it sometime." He sipped his coffee, and Amy felt his eyes on her.

"Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fift-" she mumbled to herself.

"Is there anything fun to do around here after midnight?"

Amy sighed. "Can you

not

distract me when I'm counting?"

"Oh, I'm sorry about that."

Amy shook her head and resumed her task. "Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy..."

When she had finished, she jotted the total down.

"Sorry, hon." she sighed, turning back to the kid. "Been a long day. What'd you say?"

"I was just asking if there was anything fun to do 'round here?"

"Well... only place open late is 'The Red Ass' about 10 miles that way," Amy replied, pointing eastward along the only road in sight. "It's a strip club."

"A strip club?"

"Yeah... though I've heard some of the women there are so rough, guys pay them to put their clothes

on.

"

The guy chuckled. "I see. Not my kind of thing. Thanks, though." His brow creased in concentration. "Guess I'll just ponder the metaphysics of cause and effect instead." His wolfish grin was infectious.

"Might need another coffee for that."

Chuckling, he drained his cup and rose smoothly from his chair. She noticed he was tall, probably 6'2. "See ya around," he said with a small nod and a smile.

"Have a good ponder," Amy replied.

Striding outside, the young man swung his leg over a Honda motorbike, turning the ignition before he pulled out onto the dimly-lit street and rode away.

___________________________

Amy had all but forgotten about the stranger until after 11pm the next evening.

Turning away from a table she had just served, she almost crashed into the tall, handsome young man.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir!" she said reflexively.

"No problem at all," he replied smoothly. He stepped aside, allowing her to pass. She felt his eyes on her once again as he followed her to the counter.

"Coffee?" she asked as he sat down.

"That'd be great."

"So... did you eventually figure out 'action and reaction'?" Amy filled his cup.

"Hmm?..." He looked at her quizzically before realization dawned on him. "Ohhhh, you mean 'cause and effect'?"

"Oh right... 'cause and effect'."

They both smiled.

"Still working on it," the young guy said. "Wondering what cosmic events led to me ending up here, chatting with you on another fine evening."

"Guess you're just lucky..." Amy began to unload glasses from the dishwasher. "So... you visiting friends?" she asked, hiding her curiosity behind idle pleasantries.

"Hmm. Not exactly a 'friend'," he said, and his face seemed to darken a little.

"Oh," Amy replied, taken aback. "Sorry... I really shouldn't pry."

"No, you're fine. I'm... meeting someone for the first time."

"Ooooh! Exciting!" Amy beamed. "A girl?"

"Well... a woman."

"So, what? You met on a dating app?"

"No, no. Nothing like that."

There was something about the stranger's mystique that seemed to only make Amy more intrigued.

She looked at him expectantly, a playful tension building between the two.

"... Well?"

"I can't

really

talk about it." he said shyly.

"Jeez, what a tease!" she laughed. "You're telling me I have to listen to wives bitch about their husbands' dirty underwear all day, and the

one

piece of interesting gossip I get, you leave me hangin'?"

The young man leaned back in his chair, his opened leather jacket revealing a white t-shirt underneath.

"... Tell you what... Ask me tomorrow night." There was mischief in his eyes.

Amy knew that 'not knowing', even for just 24 hours, would drive her insane.

"Aw, come on!" she pleaded. "You can tell me!"

With a cheeky wink, he stood and finished his coffee.

"I said 'tomorrow'."

Amy was surprised by the firm tone with which the young man spoke to her.

"Have a good night," he said, turning away without waiting for a reply.

A twenty dollar note was neatly folded on the countertop.

___________________________

The next day, Amy thought of her conversation with the rugged young man throughout the day.

On her lunch break, she fantasized about who he could be meeting. Maybe it was even someone she knew? One of her friends was always on dating apps, looking to sleep with hot younger men.

Amy felt a surge of jealousy when she thought about the lucky woman who would get to meet the good-looking stranger.

She imagined her friend Helena meeting up with him, and bringing him back to hers. As she pictured the young guy kissing her friend's neck, the fantasy slowly shifted until... it was Amy's neck he was planting soft kisses on, his hands reaching around to squeeze her tits, his hard cock pushing against her ass.

Amy shivered involuntarily at the thought.

Unfortunately, reality returned with its customary crushing banality.

In this case, a family of 8 (including 3 feral children in tow) looking for a table.

With a sigh, Amy led them to a booth, wishing her life retained even a shadow of the excitement it used to.

As she cleaned tables, took orders, poured coffee, she remembered the wild parties, heavy drinking, and casual sex of her teens.

Having lost her virginity at 18, Amy quickly found that she had quite an appetite for sex.

Inevitably, those thoughts led her to think about the frat party she had attended at 19. It had been a crazy night. She had never felt so free, young, or sexy before. And she had let go of her restraint, just once.

Just for a night.

... But her recklessness didn't last long.

She couldn't recall the fun times for long without being reminded of the consequences.

Her parents' disapproving stares.

Her mother's tears.

The party had well and truly ended by the time Amy's 20th birthday rolled around.

When the clock on the wall of the diner hit 11:30, she began to wonder if the young man would return.

Hearing the purr of his motorbike outside a few minutes later, she couldn't help but smile.

He walked into the diner and sat in his usual seat.

"Hi there," Amy said sweetly.

"Hey," he replied with a smile.

"Coffee?"

"Sure thing."

Amy poured a cup for the stranger as she resisted the urge to press him for his story.

She watched as he added sugar, stirred the cup, and slowly sipped it. Once finished, his eyes flicked up at her, and he saw the expectant look on her face.

"So?" she asked with feigned impatience.

"So?..." he repeated with a grin.

"

So

...

who

are you meeting?"

"Well... It's complicated." he said evasively.

"Oh, come on! Don't bullshit me." Amy said with a shake of her head.

"Alright, alright..." The young man sighed. "Truth be told... I'm here to meet..." His eyes locked on hers. "... you."

Amy scoffed. "Oh, I see! Good one!"

The stranger didn't laugh.

He didn't smile.

His eyes were anything but playful.

For the first time, Amy doubted herself.

"What do you mean, you're here to meet

me?"

"... I mean just that."

"But... you don't even

know

me." she said incredulously.

"True. That's kind of the point."

"What are you talking about?" Amy was starting to feel uncomfortable. "You know, I don't really find this very fuckin' funny!"

"Well... the thing is... you don't know me. But... I know you. You're Amy Li... right?"

Amy's blood ran cold.

"How the fuck do you know my name?" Amy said, barely above a whisper.

But before he could answer, she knew what he was going to say.

She suddenly felt foolish for not connecting the dots earlier.

What were the odds? A handsome young guy coming into the diner to talk to a 40 year old waitress

three nights in a row?

In this dead-end town?

It made sense. It all fit together.

Looking at him, she knew it, deep in her bones. Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

She'd dreaded this moment for twenty years.

And now it was here, she felt sick.

"I think... I think you're... my Mom."

His words caused 20 years of repressed emotion to surge within Amy.

Immediately overwhelmed, she practically ran out of the diner in a blind panic. Dashed toward her car, she realized half way there that her keys were still in her jacket pocket inside the diner.

Oh no...

No, no, please no!

This isn't happening, she thought. Please,

please

God no!

When she turned back to the diner, the young man was waiting outside, standing, staring at her. Her son.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly began to walk towards him as she trembled from the shock.

As she drew near to him, she saw tears falling from his eyes.

"Oh God," she mumbled. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"

She stepped towards him, and they embraced, both beginning to cry uncontrollably. "No, I'm sorry," he managed to say between heaving sobs. "I should've called..."

Amy felt his strong arms around her, pulling her close. She gripped him to her, the flood of emotions moving through her.

She wept the bitter tears of a mother denied her own child. She wept for the motherless childhood that this man had endured. She wept for the lost years it had taken him to find her.

After some time, she looked up into her son's eyes.

"I'm Jordan, by the way," he said, with a shy smile.

"Hi Jordan," she said as burning tears hit her cheeks. "It's

so, so

nice to finally meet you."

He looked at her dreamily, no doubt confronting his own years of hidden fears and expectations. Amy was struck by his natural good looks once more.

"Let's go somewhere and talk," he suggested.

"Okay."

___________________________

On the back of Jordan's motorbike, Amy clung to her son's strong frame. She hadn't bothered to tell Jake that she was leaving. Nothing else seemed particularly important at that moment.

The air whipped past as she rode on the first bike she had been on in years. She leaned her head between her son's shoulder blades and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of closeness to this familiar stranger.

When he pulled up to his motel, he parked the Honda outside his room. As he turned a lamp on and closed the door after her, Amy realized what a life changing line they had just crossed.

Her son had found her.

Finally.

She had dreaded it for so long. The awkward questions. The doubt. The anger. The immense hurt they had both endured. The pain of knowing she was responsible.

It was finally here.

But... she didn't feel the fear she had expected.

They sat on the double bed and talked.

Jordan laid out how he had tracked her down through a handful of clues and months of research. He knew only his mother's age and ethnicity, and the hospital he had been born in.

When he hit 17, he started trying to discover his mother's identity. Not knowing where to begin, he started looking for Chinese women in that part of the state who were 20 in 2003.

He told her how his '23 and Me' results had helped him narrow down his genes to Northern Chinese roots. As it turned out, 'Li' was the second most common surname in that region.

Jordan told her that when he came across her photo while trawling through highschool library records in the state, instantly he was 99% sure she was his mother.

Amy in turn told him about her life, her childhood, her strict parents, and her rebellious teens.

When she came to the point of her life story where she got pregnant, Amy decided not to lie to the young man.

He deserved the truth.

Amy told him that she had gone to a party and gotten drunk. One of her friends had brought her upstairs... and the two of them had slept with some guys. When they were finished, a few more of the fraternity members had entered the room and joined the fun. The memory was a blur.

She wept as she confessed the reality of his conception to her son.

Amy admitted she did not know the faces of the men she had been with that night.

Her cheeks burned with shame as she recounted her closest held secret.

She told him how her parents had pressured her to give him up for adoption. They ordered her not to see the baby after it was born.

Finally she told him how she had cried for weeks after, alone in her room. How she had imagined what his life was like a thousand times. How she had prayed he was safe, happy, healthy.

When she finished, she fell silent.

Neither spoke.

Amy waited for Jordan's angry outburst. His righteous wrath.

But it did not come. He just reached out and held her hand.

"I'm sorry," Amy said once more.

"It's okay, I understand," he said soothingly. "... I'm just glad I found you after all this time."

"Me too," she said, her throat burning from the raw emotion.

They embraced once more.

When Jordan pulled away slightly, he looked down at his mother. "I always

knew

you'd be beautiful," he said quietly.

Amy wiped her tears with her sleeve. "Me? Noooo, I'm not... but you? You're so

handsome!

"

"Thanks," he said with a shy smile.

He leaned forward and kissed Amy on one cheek. After a pause, he kissed the other.

His face hovered inches from her own.

She felt his breath lightly on her skin. A strange new mix of emotions battled within her, warring thoughts and impulses.

His lips suddenly pushed against hers.

And her lips pushed back against his.

They kissed, slowly at first. Testing each other's boundaries.

What am I doing? Amy thought. He's my

son!...

... but...

... he's doing it too.

And it felt

good.

Like,

really

fucking good.

The emotional rollercoaster both had been on seemed to prime them for a sense of urgent attraction.

Soon Jordan's hand was on the back of Amy's neck, rubbing her skin. He pulled her to him, and she felt his other hand cupping her breast.

She remembered the night she had fucked the frat guys. Their hands all over her. Her mouth constantly full of cock, her pussy full of cum.

Her nipples ached to be touched.

"Wait... This is... wrong," she said breathlessly. He kissed her once more.

She didn't object again.

His hand slid under her shirt and bra, and he squeezed her tit. His touch was electric.

"Oh God," she moaned.

The teen girl she had been was still in there somewhere, begging to let this hot young stud fuck her senseless.

Standing up, Jordan pulled off his t-shirt, throwing it aside. He stood above her, tall, lean, powerful. His abs were strong and his pecs nicely defined. Amy looked up at him, knowing instinctively that this was the last time she could stop this madness.

Instead, she grabbed his belt, opened it, and tugged down his jeans and boxers.

A massive, thick, veiny cock sprung out. Amy sighed in anticipation.

Reaching out, she grasped the rigid pole in front of her and guided it to her mouth. With the same wanton abandon she had felt twenty years previously, she began to unleash her inner slut.

She teased Jordan's cock with her tongue, caressing and squeezing his balls as she worked his pipe. She slobbered all over the head of his tool before licking it off, drawing a pleasurable hiss from her son. Pumping his shaft, she began to suck the head into her mouth. She almost gagged when it hit the back of her throat. It was then she felt Jordan's hand on her head, grabbing by the hair while he face-fucked her.

"Oh fuck, Mom," he grunted.

Even though she knew it was sick, the word 'Mom' turned Amy on even more.

She couldn't say no. She didn't want to.

Amy felt she owed him everything he wanted... including her pussy.

After blowing Jordan's cock for a few minutes, she rose and kissed him passionately. Both of them were on autopilot, their mutual lust like a law of nature unto itself, pulling their bodies together.

Jordan practically ripped her clothes off, barely opening her bra before he took a nipple into his mouth. He seemed to love to suck Amy's tits, and she enjoyed it immensely too. She ran her hands through his silken hair while he made up for lost time.

Yanking down her skirt and panties, his hand slid between her legs. Amy gasped when he touched her pussy lips. They were already drooling. He raised a wet finger to his mouth to taste his mother's cunt for the first time.

His hands cupped and squeezed her ass. She began to feel lightheaded from the powerful state of arousal he caused in her.

As if in a dream, Amy lay back on the bed, looking up as her son mounted her. There was no time for anything but their overriding desire.

She felt Jordan's cock at her pussy and bit her lip as he slid inside her.

"Oh fuuuuck, Mom!" Jordan moaned. His eyes went wide from the pleasure her wet snatch gave him. "I've thought about this for

years."

"Oh baby," Amy cooed. "Come here."

They kissed as he began to move inside her, slowly pushing his tool in and out of her.

"OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD!" she cried out. "IT'S SO FUCKING

BIG!

"

Jordan gritted his teeth as he began to rail his mother. He looked down on her sexy body, her gorgeous Chinese facial features, white teeth, petite frame, and sexy tits jiggling as he banged her.