CHAPTER 1 - GRATIFICATION
Poppy knew he was watching. She always knew. Just a slight change in the light from the attic was enough. He was there. Watching.
Mr Adams it was, at number 22. He lived alone, never seemed to have visitors - no family even. In a way it was sad but...
Poppy did what she always did in that useless time between school and dinner, she lay on her bed and read from her tablet. She wasn't perturbed by him, and she certainly wasn't going to start changing her habits because of him. If he got his kicks from peeping on 18 year old girls that was his problem not hers.
Anyway Poppy had other important issues to think about. Her best friend Hayley had brought a sex toy into school. She, Hayley, boasted she had used it last night for the first time and that she had reached a climax in about 10 seconds. She had then described in quite graphic detail how it worked, what went where and what all the settings did. Poppy had been particularly interested in the up down sawtooth pattern.
And now she wanted one. More than anything, but there was no way she could afford it, and no way her father would have given her the money without wanting to know what it was for and examining the receipts.
She could just picture the scene: 'Daddy can I have £150 to buy a vibrator?'
Even the thought made her crimson with embarrassment. He would be mortified that his A- student darling would even consider owning such a thing, let alone expect him to pay for it.
Carelessly her hand had wandered between her legs. Her fingers would have to do for now, unless she could get a job. Maybe a couple of weekends at the hospital- they liked her there last holidays. She traced the contours of her vagina through her white panties while considering her other options. Babysitting perhaps, although that paid very badly. Her lips had been wet most of the day thinking about Hayley's toy. She pulled the material to the side and gently rubbed her clitoris, so wet and sensitive, and came quickly in a somewhat perfunctory manner. She called these her functional frigs, no real enthusiasm but somehow needing to be done. Nonetheless as Woody Allen once remarked, there was no such thing as a bad orgasm, and she drifted off to a light contented sleep.
"Oh my God!"
Poppy leapt off her bed abruptly and darted to the window yanking the curtains closed. What had he seen? Was he still there? What if he'd taken photos? Oh my God oh my God!
Right that's it, from now on the curtains remain closed all day and all night. You stupid stupid girl. Usually she only did that under the covers, or in the shower. How could that happen? What if he told her father? 'Yes, I'm sorry to have to tell you this Mr Perkins but your daughter seems to be a nymphomaniac exhibitionist. Imagine my disgust when I was working on my train set in the attic, and casually looked out of the window only to be confronted with...'
"Poppy can you come down please," bellowed her father.
This was it. There would be no coming back from this. By the sound of his voice, he knew already. He hadn't spanked her for a while, but he was no stickler when it came to that, law or no law. But this was going to be much worse: a paddle? Maybe even a whip.
She stood before him guiltily in the kitchen and tried to speak airily.
"Umm... what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just need you to carry the dishes through, they're hot so be careful. I've made us a spicy vegetable curry."
Overwhelmed with relief Poppy carried the hot tableware through to the dining room. Her father followed with the pot of curry. So he didn't know. In a way it made sense, why would he have spoken to Mr Adams? And anyway why would Mr Adams mention it, if he was spying on her then surely the last thing he'd want is- "sorry what?"
Poppadoms? How many?
"Oh, just one. Poppadom is a funny word isn't it?" She was light-headed and talking nonsense.
"Hilarious," her father said drily.
"Poppy Dom. Hee-hee. Are you a Poppy Dom daddy? See, I'm Poppy and-"
"Yes. I get it!"
Her father looked cross so she shut up.
Feeling he'd been a bit harsh he asked softly
"So what did you do today?"
Poppy caught her breath.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's straighforward enough, how was your day? Sorry if my taking an interest in my daughter's life is so terrifying for you."
"Oh. Um, nothing really. Hayley- Um Hayley said something funny but..."
"Have you been home long, I was a bit late today."
"No, I was reading in my room."
"Oh, what are you reading?"
"Crime & Punishment."
"It's great isn't it, do you like it?"
Poppy relaxed, tears welling up. This is how it used to be before- well, before Mum died. He had become a recluse these last ten months, spending all evenings and weekends in his room, hardly uttering a word from one day to the next. Now here he was discussing literature just like the old days. Poppy felt a tremendous weight lifting from her. Who cares whether stupid old Adams saw her masturbating? Seriously, so what? Her daddy was back.
"I love it. How a man can be driven to such terrible things and then be so overcome with guilt. I mean, where does that come from, guilt? Why do we feel it? What purpose did it serve in evolution?"
"Well I suppose murder is pretty serious, I imagine it would trigger some almost biblical feeling of remorse for harming someone."
"But are we born with guilt or do we acquire it?"
"Ah well that's more your grandmother's domain. But I think even a non believer feels a sense of knowing he has done wrong. Maybe it's a kind of self-reflection, how would I like it if someone did that to me?"