"Four of a kind, Mary Ann! Time for you to take that ugly old bra off!
Even from the other end of the house, my Granny's voice resonated--enough to wake me up from my deep sleep.
"You cheater! You'd do anything to see these fat tits of mine!"
"You're not wrong," Granny cackled. "Now stop stalling and get 'em out!"
I'd never heard my grandmother--or her friends--talk that loud before. When I first heard the yelling, I worried that Granny had fallen, or that maybe intruders had broken into the house and were ransacking the place. But nope. Just Granny and her drunk friends, having the time of their old lives, apparently.
With all the noise, I was curious to see what exactly they were up to. I pushed the door open as quietly as I could and crept down the hallway. As I neared the doorway to the dining room, I could hear all four of them shouting and giggling like teenagers.
"Your nipples look bigger than the last time we saw them, Mary Ann. Have you had work done?"
More blustery laughter from all of them, and the clinking of glasses.
"Shut up and deal the cards, you old whore!"
As far as I knew, Granny rarely drank, and hadn't smoked in years. But tonight, I could smell cigars, and strong liquor. And beneath that, something stuffier, and vaguely... sweaty. Like a locker room, but much sweeter.
I peeked around the corner of the doorway and was met by the sight of two immense, pale ass cheeks, packed with cellulite and pressed tight into the rungs of the dining-room chair. It was, I realized with a mix of horror and amazement, my grandmother's friend Ruth--a woman who, until this moment, I had only seen from a distance at church functions, selling baked goods in a full-length dress. Now, there she was seated at Granny's table in all her huge, freckled, 75-year-old glory, her silver hair pulled up in a loose bun, and wearing nothing except big black-rimmed eyeglasses and a smile. Ruth took a hard gulp of her whiskey, picked up her cards, and groaned.
"What's the matter, Ruth. You don't like the way Mary Ann deals?"
"Fuck you, bitch. I'm just trying to win my goddamn panties back."
Another round of laughter.
From my hiding place just beyond the doorway, I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. All four of them were lounging around the table in various stages of near-nudity: Mary Ann-- Granny's best friend--who, it was true, had long saggy tits capped with brown areolas the size of teacup saucers, which were currently resting sloppily against the waistband of a prodigious pair of pink satin panties; little Mrs. Sullivan from next door, who I'd previously only seen at a distance waving from her garden, now hunched over the table in some kind of elaborate tan shapewear girdle and a pair of knee-high black compression stockings, staring intently at her cards; and of course poor fat, naked Ruth, cursing at her current hand, a big pile of discarded clothing on the floor beside her. Only Granny appeared to be doing well at the game: She was still dressed--relatively speaking--in a long, silky white slip that clung to her soft voluptuous body in a way that made me consider, for the first time in my life, just why my dearly departed Granddad had married her in the first place.
She must have felt me staring, because Granny looked up suddenly, straight into my eyes. I felt my heart skip a beat.
"Oh, Bobby, honey! I'm sorry! Did we wake you with all the noise?"
She spoke to me as calmly as if I'd just walked in on a bible study at the breakfast table. The rest of them turned to look at me, just as calm, and smiled sweetly.
Before I knew what to say, Mary Ann--always the loudmouth--spoke up.
"Oh, look! Bobby's got a big ol' boner!"
I looked down and saw, to my horror, that she was right. Not only had I somehow walked out of the bedroom butt-naked, but my cock was fully swollen and standing straight up in all its emphatic 18-year-old glory.
"Oooh," Mrs. Sullivan chimed in, inspecting me intently over the tops of her reading glasses, "And it's a strong looking one, too! Not like those half-hearted old limp dicks I'm used to!"
Another explosion of laughter.
"Leave it to a kid like Bobby to show up naked at a strip-poker party!" Mary Ann cackled, her giant tits jiggling. "And with his cock already about to blow!"
They roared again, and toasted Mary Ann with their glasses. I felt my face go red hot, and I turned to run from the room. But before I could, Ruth shifted her weight around and grabbed me by the arm.
"Hold on, young stud," Ruth said, cigar in her mouth, looking me up and down like I was a particularly overpriced piece of furniture at the antique mall. "Let's have a look at what we've got here."
"Oh, be careful, Bobby," Granny giggled. "Everybody knows that Ruth basically wets herself at the sight of a fresh young penis."
They all laughed, but Ruth wasn't smiling anymore. "It's the truth," she said, crushing her cigar out one with hand while the other remained firmly around my upper arm. She was openly staring at my erection now, like a cat about to be fed. "I may be getting older," she purred. "But I assure you, this pussy of mine has still got plenty of juice."
"Let him see it, Ruth," Granny said.
"Yeah," Mary Ann chimed in. "Let the kid see what a real snatch looks like."
Ruth leaned back in her chair and, in full view of the rest of the table, spread her enormous jiggly thighs as far as she could muster, revealing one of the thickest, reddest bushes I had ever seen. She may have gone gray upstairs, as they say, but downstairs looked fresh as ever. Dense, bright-orange hair covered every inch of her groin, from the wide slit of her belly button down to the middle of her thighs, and spread out across both hips, like some kind of obscene ginger blanket. With her free hand, she reached down into her massive minge. The tips of her fingers disappeared for a moment, then spread apart to reveal a bright-pink pussy, extra swollen and already glistening. A second later, the smell of it hit me, as raw and musty as old brass. With intense shame, I felt my cock jump at the pure stench of her crotch. Ruth grunted a little, like she was about to fart, but instead her whole pussy flex outward, expelling a thick puddle of clear liquid that streamed down her big hairy ass cheeks and quickly flooded the seat of her chair.
"I told you she was a gusher!" Granny squealed with delight.
Mary Ann was full-on yelling now, even louder than usual. "Show him, Ruth! Show Bobby how a grown lady does it!"
Mrs. Sullivan had gone silent, but had both hands thrust beneath the table and was vibrating them furiously.
Ruth pulled me roughly toward her, and I let her. With her other hand--now slick and shiny with her own raunchy discharge--she grabbed me by the end of my cock and crammed it straight into her. I felt the incredible puffiness of her pussy envelope me like a gooey wet glove. With surprising agility, she wrapped her hairy thighs tight around my hips and grabbed my ass with both hands, so that I had no way to move except to thrust straight into her. She grunted again and I felt her dripping vagina flex and grip my cock like a third hand.
