I returned home around 6 p.m. to find Ben in the downstairs shower. His gym clothes were strewn in front of the bathroom door indicating he had just come from a workout.
My normal routine on any would be to come home, change out of my work clothes and into my night clothes, and then prepare dinner, clean up, etc. As I listened to the shower running in the downstairs bathroom my mind raced with thoughts of what had occurred just last night. I decided that Ben might interpret me changing into me sleeping attire as an invitation for more 'activity between mother and son'. I was certain, that above all else, my son did not need any encouragement from me. I decided to keep my work clothes on. I felt that my work clothes could serve as a barrier of sorts to a repeat of the previous night's mistakes.
I was wearing a blue, sleeveless print dress with a pleated skirt that reached a few inches below my knees. While form fitting, and flattering to my petite figure, the dress was not overly revealing or inappropriate. It was a dress that I was comfortable wearing to work. Since I am on the short side, somewhere between 5 ft 3 inches and 5 ft 4 inches, I sometimes struggle to be taken seriously by my six foot tall male co-workers. In an attempt to 'level the playing field' somewhat, I regularly wear heels. Today I wore dress boots that came up above my calf and had 3" heels. They were not spiked heels, but they did make standing for extended period of time somewhat uncomfortable. The heels also had the effect of making my cute, round little bottom stand out quite nicely under my dress.
I was at the kitchen sink, cleaning up the previous night's dishes when I heard Ben come out of the bathroom and come into the kitchen. I glanced over my shoulder to see he was wearing only a bath towel wrapped around his waist.
"Hi beautiful" he chirped as he walked up behind me, hugging me from behind and reaching around to cup my right breast. I tensed up and tried to push his hand from my breast; I certainly did not want to resume the petting and touching that had led to my totally inappropriate behavior last night. But he was too strong and I was not going to remove his hand without his full cooperation,
"Ben, we made a bad mistake last night. I made a bad mistake last night. I take full responsibility. Not only am I the adult, I am your mother. I should never have allowed any of that to happen. I don't know if you can forgive me or not..."
Ben interrupted, "It was not a mistake, it was a beautiful thing. It was the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. Please do not say 'it was a mistake'. It hurts me to think you do not think what we shared was as beautiful as I do."
"Ben, it was wrong. It was illegal. And I should not have let it happen. You are still a child. I should have had better judgment, better self control."
"Mom, you are wrong. It was a beautiful. And I am not a child; I am an adult. I will be 20 in two months. I am old enough to vote; I am old enough to serve in the military, I am certainly old enough to know who I want for my sexual partner; and I want you. I have for many years."
The last statement sent me searching for a response. "Ben, I am flattered, and I understand your confusion. I am quite confused myself. But what we did, what I did last night is wrong by any measure."
I was standing with my back to my son as I spoke, ashamed. I did not turn to face him. I was ashamed of my behavior and I unable to look him in the eye at this moment. But Ben wanted to look into my eyes as he spoke. He took my hand and turned me to face him, and said, "I need to show you something."
He stood back one step, and then he removed his towel, dropping it to the floor. He stood there naked in front of me. He was obviously quite emboldened from his success last night. He had a confident, 'don't take no for an answer' demeanor about him. It was strangely appealing. Since he was my son, it was also very wrong, but it was definitely appealing.
My son was a fine specimen of a man. He had a fine physique and a large, impressive penis that hung 5 or 6 inches flaccid between his legs. I tried not to stare at his naked frame.
"What on earth do you 'need to show me'?" trying to react appropriately, whatever that would mean. But after the mistakes of last night, I questioned if there anything I could do going forward that would be appropriate?
"Watch" he said, and his penis began to grow slowly in front of my very eyes. At first I could not believe what I was seeing, but yes, it was actually happening. Slowly, standing there naked in front of me, my 19 year old son was growing erect, pulse by pulse, throb by throb. I had never seem a man grow hard with no physical contact before. I watched in silent amazement. Ben was not stroking himself hard, he was simply growing erect.
After about 45 seconds, he was half way erect, poking straight out, about six inches in length. "How are you doing that?" my voice cracked slightly in obvious excitement and amazement.
"I am thinking about you. I am thinking about touching you last night. I am thinking about what you did for me last night. I am thinking about how much I want you, need you...and I am thinking about what I am going to do to you tonight."
I was awe struck. I stared at his penis which was now about three quarters erect, and I suddenly became aware of my pulse in my own groin. I could feel my clitoris growing erect, and my pussy starting to leak into my panties. "Ben, we can't..."
He cut me off mid-sentence, "Mom, this is the effect you have on me. If I react this way just thinking about you, this cannot be wrong. My body would not react this way if it was wrong." He reasoned. "Tell me that you do not have the same feelings. Tell me you are not having the same reaction right now."
I did not know what to do or say; I did not want to lie and deny the fact that I was growing aroused too. So I simply repeated myself, "We can't. This is wrong." But I continued to stare at the amazing sight growing longer and more rigid between my son's thighs.
Ben approached me, his penis swinging proudly with each step he took. He knelt down directly in front of me. By now he had a full erection, he was every bit as hard and large as he was last night in my mouth, and he was pointing direct to the ceiling. Kneeling in front of me, he began to reach up under my dress. I stopped him, held his hands, and asked, "what are you doing?"
"I want to see something. If you do not react to me the way I react to you, I will agree to leave you alone. But I think I have the same effect on you that you do on me."
I stood there for 30 to 45 seconds, frozen, holding his hands and preventing the assault under my dress. I honestly was trying to garner the strength to resist. I wanted to be a good mother and not succumb again.
After remain motionless and silent for nearly a minute, holding his hands in place, I relented. I do not know why, but I released his hands and stood there eyes closed, not knowing what to do, and not understanding what was happening or why. Not really thinking I had the strength or power to do anything other than to comply.
He slowly ran his hand up under my dress on the outside of my thighs, hooked his fingers in the waistband of my panties and gently pulled them to the floor. His motions were agonizingly slow. He lowered my panties in a manner which was slow enough that I realized he was teasing me as he removed my underwear.
As my baby brought them past my ankles, I balanced myself on his shoulders, and I stepped one foot at a time allowing him to remove them fully over my boots. The smooth silky material of my dress felt strange on my bare ass as I stood there motionless. Ben examined my panties for a brief instant; I knew my wetness in the crotch was obvious.
Ben, still kneeling in front of me slowly slid his right hand under my skirt on my inner thigh and looked up at me. I looked down at him, blushing deeply, I understood what he wanted me to do. I tried to resist. I tried to keep my thighs pressed tightly together. Ben just waited, his fingers gently encouraging me to open my thighs for him.
I could not resist. I could not keep my legs pressed closed. Despite my emotional anguish, I felt myself start to spread my legs apart ever so slightly, allowing my son's hand to move further up my inner thigh until he reached my pussy.
My face felt as if it were on fire I was blushing so deeply. I understood that I was being teased, stood there spreading my legs for my son to access my more private parts, much as he did the previous evening. But somehow this was different, my son was instructing me to stand there, as he slowly touched me; it was a demonstration of his unique control over me. It was verification to both my son and to me that I was powerless to resist his seduction.
He ran his fingers up and down my slit, paying particular attention to my now erect and sensitive clitoris. I stood there, biting my lower lip. I would make a slight moan involuntarily every time he his fingers contacted my clitoris.
"You are very wet, mom" he remarked as my son started to slide his fingers inside of me.
"Ben, please, I beg you...we can't do this... I don't want you to do this" I panted. But rather than push his hands away from me, I squatted down ever so slightly to give him better access to my vagina. I knew then, as I am forced to admit now, that my physical actions of encouragement again contradicted my verbal words of discouragement.
Standing with my legs apart with boots with 3 inch heels while squatting slightly to open myself up to my son was difficult and I started to topple forward a bit. I reached out and balanced myself by placing each of my hands on his shoulders as his fingers found my wet opening and entered me for yet another exploration of my womanhood. He was right; I was wet, very wet.
Ben quickly had one, then two fingers inside me. He again curled his two fingers back towards himself, deep inside me, massaging the front wall of my uterus, deep inside me at my g-spot. I was responding just as he hoped, or knew, I would.
I found myself squatting deeper and opening my legs wider, allowing my son's hand inside my dilated pussy, all the while begging him to stop, "Oh, baby, please, don't do this...".
But I must confess, I did not try to actually stop him. As much as I knew I should, I could not bring myself to attempt to push away or remove his hand. I do not know if it was the pleasure of his touch, or my need to submit to his instruction that kept me from attempting to stop this assault on my pussy; probably both. I just know that I did not or could not do anything to stop, or even discourage my son.