I walked up the long sidewalk to the front porch. Of course he locked it! I forgot my keys so I knocked on the door.
"Thanks for locking me out Bryan!" I say as he opens the door.
"Well if you had your own house that wouldn't be a problem." He smiles at me and lets me walk by, his dimples on full display. Something about Bryan makes me attracted to him. I mean, I love him as my stepdad but I always feel like there's something more. Ever sense mom died of cancer, he's been there for me and takes care of me. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks he has to sense I don't really have any other family, but either way I love having him around. He's like my real dad, sense my biological dad left when I was young and no one had heard or seen of him sense. I really hate him.
I had just turned 19 a few weeks back and it was the third birthday I've had without my mom. But Bryan made up for it. I'm in college but I live at home. I have middle back length brown hair, 36c breast, about 5' 8", curves, blue eyes and I'm pretty nice but I can be a bitch when I want to be. Bryan in about 6' 2", short jet black hair, the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen, and he had a good body considering he's 32. He doesn't have abs but he doesn't have a big stomach either, he's right in-between but he does have big arms. He has three tattoos which I think are so sexy. He also has dimples and I'm one of those people who are crazy about dimples. We live on a farm in Utah and he does all the land work, causing him to be stronger and more toned. Whenever he has free time he always rides our horses, which is a wonderful sight, by the way.
"Hey! You know I have a plan! School, job, house, family. But I am saving money from my current job so I won't be here forever. Okay, dimples?" Sometimes I call him dimples just because he has them.
"Yea yea, I know. And you know I hate it when you call me that. Plus you can barely see them with this winter beard I'm growing." He combs it out with is hands and smiles. I just roll my eyes and sit on the couch. I have homework to do but I'm too lazy to do it. Plus I have all weekend.
"What show are we gunna watch tonight?" He sits on the couch and put his arms around my shoulders like usual.
"I don't care. Whatever you want, Katie. "He hands me the remote and I finally pick 'The Voice' after a long while of channel surfing.
Blake Shelton was judging a girl with black and blonde hair when I felt my eyes get heavy. I should probably go to bed but sleeping on Bryans shoulder sounds like a better option. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. Bryan doesn't even move or flinch. I could get used to feeling his body touching mine. God if only.
~~~~~~~~~
I woke up with Bryan's arm around my waist and us being face to face laying down. He looked so peaceful while he slept. His mouth slightly agape and eyes fluttering from whatever dream he must be having. He was now only in sweats and the hair on his chest was tickling the only part of my collar bone that was showing in my tank top. I'm surprised I didn't roll of the couch but if guess he put his arm around me so I wouldn't. I carefully stood up and headed to the kitchen to get a drink cause damn was I thirsty. I decided to make eggs and what we had left of bacon and toast. The smell must have woken Bryan because I soon heard him shuffle into the kitchen.
"Hey" He plopped down in the nearest chair and ran his hand through his messy hair. I grabbed my cup of coffee and gave it to him. We both like the same thing in ours and I haven't drunken any yet. "Thanks." He smiled and took the cup.
"No problem. How many?" I pointed to the toast with a butter knife in my hand.
"Two please. How did you sleep?"
"Fine considering I almost fell off the couch." I looked over my shoulder and saw him smile. I put the plate with eggs, toast, and bacon in front of him and one in front of me as well.
"Oh yea, sorry. I was gunna take you to your room but I was too tired and you looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake you."
"It's okay." I smile and he smiles back. We eat in a comfortable silence until we finish our breakfast and I grab both our plates. I hear him stand and follow me as I walk to the sink.
I feel his arms go around my waist and rest on top of each other on my belly button, which happens to be showing sense I didn't pull my shirt down when I stood up. I felt his breath on my neck as he spoke, "That was good but I want something else..." He left it to my imagination. Holy shit, I can't believe this is happening. I shudder under his touch.
"But only if you do too. I won't make you." He kisses my neck. I feel my cheeks go hot and I know their red. I want it. But I can't give in the easy. I mean, he is my dad... well, stepdad. But he's like my real dad, he raised me. But he is still my stepdad, no blood relation. Shit.
"I...I have to get to school. I forgot I had a project due yesterday." I turned and got out of his grip. I hear him mumble a 'shit' under his breath but I hurry to my room and close the door.
"Katie! Wait, I'm sorry. Pretend that never happened. Please. "He knocks on my door but I can't open it because I know I wouldn't be able to say no again. I want him so bad. "Katie, please." I hurry and grab skinny jeans and a plain blue shirt out of my dresser and brush my hair out. I need to get out of the house, like now. I didn't worry about makeup, as if I didn't really need it. I grab my vans and throw them on. I have to open the door...shit. I confidently grab the door and swing it open, only to have all of that confidence shuddered once I see Bryans blue eyes look at me. I hurriedly rushed passed him and ran outside to my car. I need some time to think.
I drive, not knowing where I'm going to go. I decide to go to my favorite spot. Our old Club house when I was a kid. I used to come here with my friends Chase and Ashley. Only we knew about it. It is hidden in the woods that are behind the old park. The trees look so much prettier in winter, the snow glistening in the late afternoon sun. The little cabin was run down and we still had our old toys in it. The old doll I used to play with and Chase's action figures and Ashley's Barbie's. I miss this place. I lay down on the old little bed in the corner and close my eyes, I need a moment to just think.
~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up to pitch black remembering where I was. And remembering Bryan. God I want him so much. Why didn't I just take his offer? Jesus! I'm such a retard. He wants me, yet I basically shot him down. Will he still take me if I walk right into the house and kiss him? Like really kiss him? I'd honestly let him take me. I'm virgin, and not because I can't get guys, It's because I wanted to wait till I know I've found the one, so most likely till marriage but I know Bryan won't hurt me. I want him to take me. And so I will let him.
I walk out of the cabin and try to make my way through the snow, but it's so dark I can barely see the trail I made on my way up here. But, thankfully I made it out. Its later then I thought, but the early darkness in winter always plays with my head. But once I get in the car I see it's almost nine o'clock and I have five missed calls from Bryan.
I drive well over the speed limit but even if i get a ticket, it will be worth it. The ten minute drive home felt like forever even though it was half the time it took me to get here. The lights in the house were still on, thank god. But I know he wouldn't have gone to bed without knowing I was safe.
My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest at any moment and the sidewalk seemed forever long. The minute I heard the door click open as I twisted it, I knew I was too deep to back out. I mean, he wants it, so why should I be so afraid?
