Note: this is a self-indulgent little tale of exhibitionism and father-daughter love. It isn't meant to be realistic or believable. The absurdity of it is what appeals to me. I wrote this as a one-off, though if people want more after reading it, I might do another chapter.
***
In her fantasy, she marries her father.
Out in the real world, the culture she lives in doesn't understand. Her family could never accept what she feels in her heart. The laws of the people forbid what she's about to do.
But here, in her fantasy, she can make anything happen -- and she's about to.
Today is Kaitlin's wedding day. Her heart thumps in her chest as she walks toward the double doors, arm-in-arm with her brother, Rob. Rob is walking her down the aisle because her father can't. He's waiting at the altar.
"Ready?" Rob whispers to her, a smile on his face.
"Oh my god," Kaitlin whispers back. She can't wipe the nervous grin off her own face, even though she feels like her heart is going to burst. Her whole body tingles with anticipation. She's going to marry the man of her dreams.
Together, they turn the corner and walk through the open double doors.
The wedding attendance is small -- even in her dream world, not everyone gets an invitation. But close family and friends are there: almost thirty people. Her mother, her aunt Caroline, her best friend Alana and her friends from high school and work. They all turn to watch her walk down the aisle. She takes a moment to think about how her life will never be the same after this.
Kaitlin feels beautiful. Her dress is both traditional and not: silky, off-white, strapless, shoulders bare, the neckline plunging to show off plentiful cleavage. Silk gloves on both hands. In an everyday wedding, the cut might be considered scandalous or even trashy, but she wears it with complete confidence. Her light blonde curls are held in an intricate updo, two perfect spirals framing her heart-shaped face.
Her friends and family nod and smile as she passes by. They're all nervous, too. They know what's coming, how strange this gorgeous spring afternoon is going to get.
She looks to the end of the aisle, not letting her gaze wander to her husband-to-be just yet.
There's no altar, of course, and this is not a church. Kaitlin and her father are tying the knot in the sumptuous ballroom of a grand hotel. The "altar" is a sturdy wooden table with a white cloth laid across it. Behind it stands her uncle Charles, looking crisp and formal in a dark suit. He's the officiant, but no priest: his ordination comes from some iconoclastic mail-order organization.
To his left stands Alana, her best friend since grade school. She's dark-skinned, long-haired, gorgeous in a dark green dress. She hops on the balls of her feet in glee as Kaitlin approaches. They exchange a sly glance, and Kaitlin blushes, thinking of the rehearsal only days ago.
Everyone in the wedding party knows what's going to happen. They've been informed and given the right to opt out. Almost everyone showed up anyway.
Off to the other side is Erika, her uncle's girlfriend and the wedding photographer. A tripod and camera records everything. Erika is young, dark-haired, tattooed and pierced; the kind of girl Uncle Charles would go for. When they'd first met, Kaitlin had reservations about about age-appropriateness, but that would be hypocritical of her on many levels.
To her uncle's right is Nolan. Her father. Her fiancée. Her stomach flutters with the audacity of the idea. He's tall, distinguished. He's in good shape from years of taking care of himself. His shoulders are broad and muscular, his stomach trim, pale blonde hair only thinning a little at fifty-one. Normally, he grows a well-groomed beard, but today he's clean-shaven. He looks young, happy, exhilarated.
They look at each other, and the whole world fades away for a moment. She gazes on him with a love that's aching and total. Nothing held back.
She steps up next to him as the music swells in the background. She barely hears it. She's aware of nothing but her father's handsome face, his kind expression, the handsome figure he cuts in his suit. She knows she's the luckiest girl in the world.
Rob walks behind Nolan and stands. Her brother is the best man. It's a family affair all around.
So weird, she thinks, and giggles helplessly, making eye contact with her dad. His smile broadens, and he takes her hands in his.
"Ready?" he whispers to her. The second time someone has asked. She'll never be ready. She's always been ready. Emotions run circles inside her.
"So ready," she says back.
Uncle Charles takes a breath. Time seems to stretch out. She thinks of the long road it took for them to get here. The first nervous, terrifying realizations. The storm of emotions that followed. The impassioned letters she wrote to her father and then burned. The fantasies and imagined conversation. The weekend getaway where she finally decided to confess her feelings for her father in a late-night one-on-one -- and the thrill in her heart when he confessed, reluctantly, he felt the same.
Their family had never been normal. Nolan's marriage to her mother Johanna had largely been one of convenience. They both wanted children but had never felt like a traditional family was for them. Johanna's feeling for Kaitlin's father had always been more practical than romantic, and their divorce during Kaitlin's early childhood had been amicable and friendly.
Kaitlin had been worried that her mother wouldn't understand, but Johanna had received the news with tranquility and grace, even explaining this wasn't the first occurrence of incestuous attraction in the family. No one had in their family had a child by incest (Johanna clarified to Kaitlin's relief), but sexual trysts were not uncommon.
In fact, a number of the relatives here today had slept with one of their own relations. But this would be the first wedding.
She hears Uncle Charles speaking, and it snaps her back to the present.
"Friends and family, welcome, and thank you for attending on this wonderful day. We're here to celebrate the unique and powerful love between Nolan and Kaitlin -- father and daughter -- by bringing them together in marriage."
Kaitlin feels a thrill. She squeezes her father's hands tighter. He beams at her. Everyone does.
