[This was typed down and edited from a narrative by K. Decker. Thanks for your honesty, dearie, and of course for the whole experience. I'm sorry your eighteenth year wasn't quite as sweet for you as you had hoped, but at least the end result wasn't all bad, if I understood you correctly.]
I remember you said: "You have to swallow it, Katy. That's what girls do." You should have noticed how I was staring at you. I mean I was naked on my knees in front of you, doing my best trying to give my own dad my first ever blowjob on my eighteenth birthday, and you were telling me I had to "swallow it". I really didn't know what I should have thought about that, so it was a bit weird start, I have to say.
I didn't quite know what to expect anyway. I mean I knew the general sex things, of course, but that's different than actually doing it, and reality was hitting me hard just then.
I know my nipples were erect, but it was caused by chill and nervousness. I guess you mistook for excitement considering how you were eyeing them whenever you weren't glancing between my legs despite me attempting to keep them chastely together. I guess I shouldn't have minded it, that it felt weird too.
I also didn't know how well my sucking was working. It would have helped if you would have said a bit more apart from the swallowing thing.
I know you did say when you were going to come, but you should have seen my eyes widening with alarm when I realized at the last moment that I wasn't really ready for this, but by then it was too late. I didn't want to ruin the romantic moment for you, so I tried to think about important things like warmth and closeness instead of prostatic juices and sperm cells and whatever, and I swallowed it down like you had told me to. Don't even think about asking me what I thought of it.
"I love you so much, sweetie," you said afterwards, brushing my hair with gentle fingers, before pushing my head down. I understood you wanted me to kiss your balls, so I did and said: "Thanks, dad. It was wonderful," but that was a lie, even though I smiled when I looked up at you. I just felt like I had to say it.
I only really started appreciating the whole thing later, when we hugged and you gently caressed my hair, and I understood how good I had made you feel. That's what I liked, dad, not so much the things leading to it. But I guess the first time is always going to be awkward, regardless of how it happens. So it was all right.
[Here's some advice she wanted to give to other girls when I asked about it, again typed down by me from her words.]
You have to be sure you know what you're doing if you want to do it with your dad. I thought I was, but I wasn't. Even if it wasn't that bad, it could be worse for you. So think about it carefully, and then talk about it with your dad. If you think that's embarrassing, think of how embarrassing it is if you try to jump directly into it.
Read about the technical parts too, and watch videos, and ask your dad. You might think you can give a blowjob, but you can't if you have no idea how to do it well. I did these things and I still feel I wasn't very good at it. The same applies if you intend to do something else, but I'm not going to fuck my dad, so I can't help you on that.
Don't swallow or do anything else just because dad tells you to. You should be the one making the decisions, and if your dad doesn't understand that, then you shouldn't be doing it. I learned these things too late, but I don't blame my dad for that. Men say lots of things on moments like that, but you're the one who decides which parts she should be listening to. I only understood this when I was talking with dad afterwards as she was writing these things down.
