"This isn't exactly how I thought things would turn out," he told her. He reached out and scrambled the embers around, stirring a bit of flame.
"You're worrying again," she said from her chair. She had her legs tucked up to her chest under her blanket. Her little fists held the soft flannel up to her face, covering her nose. Long, dark, tangled hair spilled around the gentle beauty of her face. He watched as a slender finger emerged from the blanket to scratch at the bridge of her nose. He saw her eyes on him from the flickering light over her face. Small creases formed and her eyes narrowed showing him that much of her smile.
"I always worry."
"I know. That's just your thing, you know."
"Know me pretty good, huh?"
"Oh, sure. I know all sorts of interesting things about you. I should write a book. Maybe I could be a writer."
"At your age?"
"I'm not old enough to have an 'age', Cal."
"My mistake. You've got a whole 15 minutes before you enter an 'age'."
"Damn right. I'll be an old woman," she said uncoiling from her chair and pulling it closer to the fire. The logs popped and snapped as he pushed at them with a long stick. He broke the dead limb into pieces and fed it to the dying flames. Her eyes met his and she hid her face in her blanket as she smiled.
"30 isn't old," he said.
"You have to say that, you turned 30 last year." She resettled in her chair and made quite a production out of tucking the blanket around her legs. "It's a horrible thing. I can never be in my twenties ever again."
"30 is still young. Especially today. 30 is nothing."
"Is that why you made the 'at your age' crack?"
"I did no such thing."
"I heard it."
"I don't think I did."
"Oh! You did so. You sat right there and said it."
"That doesn't sound like something I would say. You must have it wrong. The cold is getting to you."
"Such a terrible man. Saying mean things about me." He stood up and crossed the short distance to her chair. He could smell the scent of her hair as he dropped smoothly to his knees next to her.
"As a teenager, you were the prettiest girl I'd ever known."
"You didn't really know that many people," she said softy. She closed her eyes and sighed gently as he traced the elegance of her ear.
"When we were in college, you were very attractive." His hand pulled her hair back and he ran his fingers over the back of her neck.
"You...you studied too much," she said as her body warmed.
"When we left school and started our lives, I used to think that it was amazing how good looking my little Anne was. I was seeing the woman you'd become. I wasn't sure when it happened." He pulled her up from her chair. His hands cupped her face. Her eyes were wide and alert.
"That was then," she breathed. He smiled and kissed her. Her lips were warm, despite the chill autumn air. Her tongue moved slowly in his mouth. Both were breathing hard as they slowly stopped.
"And now - now you are absolutely beautiful." His voice was little more than an exhalation of air. "More than I've ever known."
"Cal..."
She pressed against him and held him tight. Her breasts pressed close to his chest and before he knew it, they were backing toward the house. He fumbled with the buttons on her shirt as they climbed the steps of the deck. Her hands were pulling his belt loose as he opened the patio door.
He spun her around into the house and slid the door shut, making it bounce in its track. She let go of him and grinned wonderfully as she turned to walk down the hall. Calvin pulled his shirt off as they made their way to the bedroom. She was only halfway down the long hallway by the time he reached her. He pulled her shirt open and lifted her bra over her breasts.
Anne gasped at the feel of his mouth on her nipples. He pulled her down to the floor as the last of his clothes hit the carpet. She struggled out of her jeans, eventually kicking them in a bunch at her ankles. He was on top of her, covering her body with the warmth of his skin.
She grabbed at him, grasping his hardness in both hands and wasting no time guiding him in.
"I won't be long," she warned him. He could see it in her eyes. She was set to go off like Tijuana firecrackers. He slid inside her with ease. She lay under him with her ankles wrapped in denim and her knees splayed out. Her hands grabbed at her breasts as he pumped in and out of her. They were both better than they were as teenagers. She moved with him in just the right motion. He knew the spots that made her boil over with pleasure. She did things to him that made him feel like a kid again. Sometimes it was a battle to keep control and not lose it with her in the first minute.
He tasted her neck and she moaned. Her eyes were closed as she rolled her head back and forth on the floor in the hallway. From the other room, he heard the TV they had left on after dinner. Applause and laughter filtered through the doorway.
"Hurry," she whispered. Hurry, he thought. I'm doing all I can to wait, he wanted to say. But he knew what to do. He lowered himself until he was pressing right into her body. He ground up and down her clit as they fucked. That was all it took. Her teeth clamped together and her hands shook. Her felt her knees come up and lock around him, holding him tight inside her. He grunted and dropped his head next to hers as he came.
"Happy Birthday," he told her. She didn't say anything. He felt her lips press softly to his neck and then he heard her give a clipped laugh.
* * * *
"We should really get some sleep," she said as they ate. She was sitting on the floor across from him, scooping pudding out of a little plastic cup with her fingers. Her eyes were bright and seemed to burn right through him. The corners of her mouth were turned slightly upward, remaining at least at a grin for how long he couldn't think.
"Nah." Calvin sat forward, knocking an empty glass over as he brought his knees up. "Remember what mom used to do? She always used to let us call in sick to school."
"I remember. She said that no one should have to miss a minute of their birthday. We'd stay up all night playing games."
"She made a huge production out of them."
"I missed that after she died."
"Me too."
"Is that why we're doing this?"
"A little."
"What's the rest?"
"You're 30. I want you to remember this."
"Well, I think I will." She looked around at the mess of empty containers and wine bottles. She wiped pudding off her bare belly with her thumb and offered it to him. He took it in his mouth and smiled.
"So what now?" she asked.
"What do you want to do?"
"Sleep."
"Sorry. What else?"
"Can I ask you something, Cal?"
"Sure?"
"Why did you say that last night?"
"What?"
"That things didn't turn out the way you wanted?"
"I didn't say that. I said I didn't think they would have turned out this way." He tilted his head along the wall and out of the way of a beam of sunlight that finally peaked around the corner.
"What did you mean?"
"I just thought we'd finally have a life outside this house, you know? I know you'd like to have something more."
"Like what," she asked. She pulled her naked legs up to her body and hugged them tight to her chest. Her full breasts pressed into elegant ovals.
"Friends."
"We have friends."
"No. We have people we work with who don't act like they don't know us. But that's it."
"I'm happy."
"Really?"
"Sure. Aren't you?"
"I'm not talking about me. I could go on with nothing, as long as I've got you with me. But I know what you want. You want what anyone would want."
"Things are how they are, Cal."
"No. Things are how they are, because of who we are."
"Cal -"
"It's not hard to figure out, Annie. People look at us and they can tell you're my sister. Best way to avoid problems is to avoid getting in situations where we have problems."
"It's the life we live, Cal. I won't sit here and blame being in love with you for something as silly as not going out with people."
"I don't bore you?" he said. It was what he'd dreaded for years. That he wasn't enough for her.
"Bore-? God, no. How could you think such a thing?" She pushed herself from the wall and crawled over to lay her body against his. The feeling of her arms around him made the worry and the doubt melt away.
"I just want you to be happy," he said as he kissed the top of her head.
"Let's go out," she said, kissing his shoulder. "Suddenly, I want to do something."
* * * *
He watched her dance and weave her way through the crowd. Her body was like a dream. Her hip moved, making a line that snaked up her bare midriff. Her belly was smooth and drew eyes the way water draws a thirsty animal. Her smile was a great beacon in the midst of bodies and flashing lights of various colors.
The music was a little more bubbly than he enjoyed, but she liked it. He'd been following her around town all day. Things he wouldn't do on his own if someone paid him. But she wanted to do them. That's what the night was about. Her. She smiled at people as she bumped into them, keeping her hands up and the drinks out of harm's way.
"You look like you're having a good time," he said over the music. She sat in his lap and threw her arms around his neck. Her legs crossed prettily at the knees and her foot lazily moved to the music.
"I'm very, very drunk," she said in his ear. She broke into laughter, throwing her head back and closing her eyes. Sweat beaded around her forehead.
"I don't think you're that drunk," he said. His hands circled her slim waist. He ran a hand over her belly, up under the edge of her shirt, feeling the slick sweat that covered her hot skin. He remembered a time when she thought she was fat. He remembered a time when that was the least of her worries.
"Maybe not drunk," she conceded, "but more than usual." She winked at him and grabbed her glass. The gold liquid slid around and then disappeared as she tipped it all back.
