While July 4, My Sister, the Lake is neither my highest rated nor most viewed story, none received a comparable volume of readers' comments. Thanks to all who wrote. Comments, both positive and negative, are always welcome. It helps to know what people think.
*****
My long delay in returning to the story was due to an ongoing failure of imagination. Based on your comments and e-mails, approximately half of you wanted Sam and Bella to ride off into the sunset, sans Shane, while the other half wanted Shane on the journey. The comments were well-written, well-reasoned, and sometimes passionate. This is my effort to complete the story and remain faithful to the characters, at least as far as I understand them. Nonetheless, I seem destined to disappoint at least 50% of you.
To place Chapter 4 in context, in Chapter 1 Sam flew from the West Coast to East Coast to spend July 4 with his family. While there he and his baby sister Bella became lovers and Bella confessed a recently ended same-sex relationship with her best friend Shane. In Chapter 2, set in the same week-end, Bella and Sam consummate their affair in a private and familiar place during the town's fireworks show. In Chapter 3 Sam and Bella start a cross-country drive; Sam to return to his job, Bella to begin her freshman year at Stanford. Shane, curious about San Francisco, at Bella's invitation, accompanies them. In this chapter they finish the trip and settle into San Francisco.
As always, all story characters engaged in sexual activities are eighteen years of age or older.
* * * *
We were camping at Utah's Canyonlands National Park, swimming in one of its underground pools of water. If you saw the movie 127 Hours you know what I'm talking about. We shared the water with a group of five, two girls, three guys. One of the guys, the unattached one, figured out I was with Bella and targeted Shane.
The dude was pretty. Real pretty. The kind of looks it seemed a shame to waste on a guy.
After our return to the surface Bella, although the sun was already setting, started making noises about packing up and leaving. Shane and I said no; what would we do? Pack, drive half-an-hour, unpack, set up everything again? Bella, grumpy and clearly unhappy, acceded.
We built a fire and one of the couples turned out to be gourmet cooks, we enjoyed the trip's best meal. Afterwards we passed around a bottles or two of wine, sat under the stars, talked, and Shane, in steps too small for me to track, ended up with Bobby Good-Looks. When the fire died down we drowned it in water and Shane, heading for Bobby's tent, said good night.
Good for her, I thought, better for me; for the first time on the trip I had Bella alone in the tent.
I went to kiss her.
She rolled over, facing the tent wall, showing me her back, and said, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Trying to kiss you?"
"That guy was such a jerk."
"What guy?"
"What guy! What guy! The guy hitting on Shane. Bobby Assholehead."
I ran him back through my mind. He seemed okay, maybe a little too polished for my taste, too glib, a little insincere, but if Shane dug him that was fine with me. After all, Bella and I were regularly sneaking off for a little sex, Shane was on a dry run.
"He seemed okay to me."
"Okay! Okay! Men are such fucking idiots! He's a smarmy douche-bag shit-head, he doesn't care about her."
Bella was not playing; she was pissed. What was she thinking? Shane and Bobby Whatever-his-name-was were not over there making a life-long commitment, it was a one night thing. Shane knew that; my sister knew that too.
"Babe, it's just for a night. Let Shane have some fun."
"You are such a guy. A hot blonde shows up so some casual one-night nookie is just fine, is that right? Is that what you're thinking when I'm not around?"
I had no idea what was going on. What had I done to piss her off? Stuffing the impulse to fire back at her, I went with Rule No. 7 for dealing with women: when you have no idea what is going on or what to do, be nice, real nice."
I placed a hand on her shoulder, massaged the flesh between two fingers. "Hey babe, it's gonna be okay."
"You don't fuckin' know that. You have no idea what he's going to do to her."
Actually, I had a real good idea what he was going to do to her, but thought it best to keep that to myself.
Okay, Rule No. 7 was getting me nowhere, best to move to Rule No. 8, shut up and cuddle. I laid down next to her, put my arm around her. Her body was rigid. I moved a hand to her shoulder, worked it and her neck; she seemed to calm down. I stroked the top of the chest. She calmed down some more. Maybe, just maybe. I moved my hand down to her breast.
"Are we speaking different languages? I-am-not-in-the-fucking-mood."
Voice icy, no prevarication. I moved my hand back to her shoulder, worked her muscles, lay the arm across her body and snuggled into the spoon position. Her body remained rigid. I knew I should stay awake, keep her company, but found myself drifting off. I kissed the back of her head, told her I loved her, fell asleep.
* * * *
Shane joined us in the morning. We packed while Bella, seething and monosyllabic, kept denying she was upset. No one seemed like talking and I put on some tunes and, in a very long day, drove 800 miles to Lake Tahoe in an uncomfortable silence, Bella occasionally dozing off, which was unlike her. Had she slept last night?
At Lake Tahoe we unpacked and set up, I still wondering what I'd done wrong. Bella and I had not had a real fight since becoming lovers; I'd never gotten the silent treatment.
After we finished Shane pulled me aside and said, "Sam, I need you to go exploring, a lot of exploring, a couple of hours of exploring. Bella and I need to talk."
* * * *
I got back after dark. Shane was sitting in one of our portable chairs, looking at the stars.
"Where's Bella?"
"Sleeping Sam. I think she was up all night."
"What's going on? What did I do?"
She patted the chair next to hers and handed me a bottle of water. I was thirsty; it was good.
"It's not you Sam, it's me. This was all probably a big mistake, I keep hoping we can make it work, but I don't know..."
She tailed off, looked off. I was confused, but wasn't going to make the same mistake I'd made last night, pressing when I should be quiet. I said, "If you'd prefer to talk later."
She looked up, pushed the hair from her face, and with a sadness in her sky-blue eyes, said, "No, now is as good a time as any. Bella gets jealous when I with somebody else, man or woman. It comes out as her carping about their not being good enough, how I could do better, but it's jealousy. She knows it, apologizes later, says it's the last time, but it never is. I wonder, sometimes, whether our friendship can survive this."
She was, I instantly understood, correct. Bella was angry with Shane, not me. How could I not have seen it? And with that thought I also realized that I'd completely underestimated the depth of Bella and Shane's affair. I'd seen it as a same-sex diversion driven by a fleeting teen-age fixation with the bi-curious and ending when Bella moved on to me. But yesterday Bella had acted like someone mourning a lost love affair, not a summer flirtation.
And that also meant I'd never really appreciated the depth of Shane's sacrifice when she encouraged Bella to become my lover.
Lowering my voice I said, "Shane, I feel like an idiot. I've been so infatuated with Bella that I never really thought about how tough this must have been, must be on both of you, and especially you."
"You are a mere man."
Determined not to be distracted by her joke, I pressed on.
"No, I'm serious. When you told Bella to go for it with me you knew that meant you two would no longer be together, that even your friendship might not survive. You put all that at risk for Bella, and me. I apologize, I mean I saw you and she as..."
I stopped, not knowing how to move forward without sounding stupid or offensive.
It was Shane who filled in the blank. "You thought Bella and I were an unconventional pit stop on her way to a perfectly conventional incestuous relationship with her brother?"
She had a point. "Well, not the way I'd say it, but yeah, I didn't take you two seriously enough. I'm such a dunderhead. I want you to know how much I appreciate what you've done."
Shane smiled. "Thank you Sam. That's nice to hear. You need to understand, with women, no matter what we say, it's never just sex."
* * * *
I woke to the sound of Shane firing up the stove and watched Bella undo the flap of our tent and crawl outside. I thought about joining them, but the sleeping bag was warm and I figured they needed the time together.
Shane, leaning against a rock, said good morning and handed Bella a cup of coffee, who crawled into Shane's arms and said, "I'm sorry Shane, I acted like an ass yesterday."
Shane stroked Bella's hair. "Its okay baby, I still love you."
"I love you too Shane."
They were quiet awhile and then Bella said, "I better apologize to Sam."
"He and I talked last night. He'll understand."
I made rustling noises, signaling I was awake, Shane wandered off, Bella crawled into the tent, we made love. Bella sure knew how to apologize. Afterwards, she in my arms, we talked about what happened.
And, as we did, it was clear Shane had the problem perfectly pegged. I'd known Bella all her life, but sometimes Shane seemed to understood her far better than I.
* * * *
In San Francisco I returned to work and Shane and Bella, classes still a week off, explored the city. Some nights I'd join them for dinner at an inexpensive, utterly delicious, dive that I, the resident, knew nothing about, but they'd honed in on, then we'd find a public park and listen to a free concert. Some nights I came home to two giggling women in the kitchen making dinner.
Then one day I came home to just Bella, sitting on our second-hand couch, reading a book, wearing glasses and blue-jeans, only glasses and blue-jeans.