Journal 1

***All parties are over 18 years old. This is a very slow build-up and the details of it I would say not what you normally see. It falls more into the realm of romance not graphical sex. Hope you enjoy it as much as I liked writing it. Most importantly many if not all the places mentioned are real and I have really been to those places but the story itself is entirely fictional***

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My realization of my fetish for incest started when I discovered a site called Literotica. Hundreds if not thousands of stories to choose from. Many not so good, but there are many that are. It wasn't till I stumbled onto the Incest section out of pure curiosity. The first story about a mother and son and I was hooked. Call me a pervert if you like, but I am not ashamed of it.

But my mom isn't so innocent either. I hear the sounds coming from her room. Some of those days I know she is alone and others I know there is a person in there. I fantasize sometimes it is a woman or a teenager ravaging her, bringing her such pleasures. I live my fantasies through them wishing I was the one in there doing gods knows what to her.

You can't blame me while she falls into the average category, she is still quite attractive. Wearing all kinds of outfits from summer dresses to t-shirts, to tank tops but each time never with a bra. It isn't unusual for you to see her nipples trying to poke through her top.

But I digress. Maybe writing this will help me make a move as they say. Come onto her see what happens? What's the worst can happen? She kicks me out? Well at 23 I should be on my own but my future is bleak right now. College didn't work out and I have no serious prospects of a career.

But enough about that, lets talk about what I should do if I should do anything. Should I have some wine with her? Lower her inhibitions. Well what do you think I should do? Or should I just live with this for the rest of my days? I could try to find someone that looks like her, but fucks like a nymphomaniac. Naaa if I do that she will see right through me. Granted they always say you marry your mother or father depending on what sex you are.

You know I do have some pot. I read stories on Literotica of mothers losing their inhibitions and giving into sexual flirtation. It's legal where I am and yes I have some. Maybe that and some wine and a romantic movie. She knows I love romcoms why not something more romantic minus the comedy? Lets go find out.

Signing off for now. Talk to you whenever.

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Well it's been several days, a week, oh hell I am not keeping track. Maybe I should track these things. Either way I had to read where I left off.

It was a Saturday where we eventually did watch a romantic movie, and she cuddled with me under a blanket, and had some wine but nothing happened. Well she did put her hand on my leg but I can't help but think that is just motherly affection. But I admit it got me hard. Thankfully the blanket covering us kept her from seeing. Good thing too because I was wearing boxer shorts and pajama pants, that I tell you won't hide shit.

But like I said nothing happened. But who knows what will happen if anything. I haven't heard or seen a guy or anyone come over for at least a week. Might just be a coincidence or maybe all she needs is me. Wouldn't that be nice. That might be the right idea; all she does is need me. A little thing here and there could go a long way.

I have to sleep on this. I will write more when I can.

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It was Saturday (again). Seems like these events only seem to happen on a Saturday. Well it at least gives me something to look forward to.

But I am babbling here. So picture it, she's in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms having dinner with me, and asked if I wanted to do a movie and wine again which I said sure but I get to pick it this time. I picked one of my favorites that really get my juices flowing: "Long Shot" starring Charlize Theron. If you haven't watched it I recommend you do. She is so beautiful and in some ways reminds me of mom. But I am getting off track here.

So here we are on the couch, cuddling under a blanket and yes again she had her hand on my leg but today if I didn't know any better I think I could pick up a scent of her juices. Trust me I know what it smells like and tastes; well not hers but I do. I am not a virgin mind you, just on a dry spell which part of it all I can think about lately is her. The point is I could sense arousal.

As the movie proceeded and the contents of the wine bottle was dwindling the scent seemed to get stronger. Smelling that I so wanted to place my hand on her leg and slide it up to see if she is moist between the legs. But I chickened out. There is always another day, or no matter what day that may be, that might be going too far. Or maybe going too far too quick. These damn stories that I read on Literotica really fucks with my head. Not sure what I should do here.

Again I will sleep on it.

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Hi I think it has been a few weeks since I last wrote on here. Things took a turn not for the worse or better just took a turn or a step forward. We cuddled again last night and like before she had her hand on my leg. This time I decided to go for broke and do the same. She didn't seem to react in any way but felt so good just to touch her. I think I will keep doing this consistently you never know what will come of it.

Oh and for all you perverts this time the pajamas she wore it is clear her nipples have been coming a little more prominent you can say. I so want to suck on them, twist them, pinch them, tug on them. Oh great, I just got hard typing that. Well Porhub here I come.

Talk to you later.

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Something new to share. Not sure what day it was, but we were watching a movie which got boring and because of it we talked and laughed and yes at times had our hands on each others leg. But what she did do different was hug my arm and lay her head on my shoulder plus kiss my cheek several times which the kissing part she does when saying good bye and good night. Doesn't sound like much but I felt a sense of intimacy and her breasts were pressing against the side of my arm during the arm hugging.

God I wish that happens again. Well that is all. Have a nice night.

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What I am about to tell you happened on a Monday. In the morning I tried something different. As I said in the previous entry when we part ways in the morning she gives me a kiss on the cheek and sets off. But today I decided to be a little bold, I quickly turned my head at the last second and planted a kiss right on her lips. She jerked back a little and looked at me funny but didn't say anything about it. Just turned around and left. In hind site that may have been too much. But I can't change it, can only move forward.

Hind site or not I did the same thing when she does her usual good night kiss on the cheek. The best part about it is it wasn't quick kiss, it was more like 3 second kiss. Not your motherly peck that we all know so well. And after she just smiled and left for bed.

Things are changing I can sense that. Slowly but there are changes between us. The question is where is all this going? What is causing her to want to give me a 3-second kiss versus her normal peck. Is she getting the same feelings as I am? Maybe I am not the only one in this family that reads Literotica.

For all I know she can be in her room reading a story about a mother and son kissing, and doing much more. Well if not her it will be me. I am in the mood for a good story before bed. It actually helps me sleep and takes my mind off what I really want even for a short while.

Bye for now.

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I waited a few weeks before making my next entree just to see how things go day by day. Things are progressing. The kisses goodbye and goodnight that used to be on the cheek have become the standard on the lips. And not only that they are lasting anywhere from 3 seconds to a few. And sometimes after some wine she follows the kiss goodnight with a bite on my lip. Not sure what the means but I like it.

Granted it could be the wine which is becoming a standard thing for us. At this rate we will need to stick to the cheap stuff if we continue to drink this often. But maybe if I save up I can get her a bottle of the good stuff. Granted I have no idea what that would be. But you hear about these wine enthusiasts paying ridiculous prices for something that they will just consume in a short amount of time.

Either way as I was saying things are progressing. As for what direction I can't be sure but it just feels like something more than motherly love. I think I am going to start rubbing her leg on occasion. Nothing to aggressive, not so high on the leg that I comes near her crotch. Just a nice gentle leg rub. Oooh that gives me an idea. Her birthday is coming up. I have enough saved to get her a massage session and a day at the spa. I think I have enough I don't know what something like that would cost but if it helps me in the goal why not? Something like that would be priceless.

Yeah I think I am going to do it. Just need to ask the ladies at my job where to go. I am excited about this idea. Who knows she might be so relaxed and thankful she might give me something in return. I'll take anything because if anything is happening it sure is happening slowly but good things come to those that wait.

But lets be honest for all I know nothing will happen. But we will see.

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Turns out she loved the present I got her. She thanked me for the spa with a big kiss and a huge hug. With a big smile on her face skipped over to the bathroom to wash all the lotion off her skin. I kind of wish she didn't do that, she smelled quite nice; not her usual sent but a different kind of nice. Granted she always smells good even when she is sweating from cleaning the house.

But back to how things are going after the spa. The kisses have definitely become the norm but now when she kisses me goodbye or goodnight she places her hand gently on my face. It's a small thing but feels like a big thing to me. Thinking about reciprocating to it by doing the same or running my fingers through her hair. Oh and did I say she hasn't had anyone in the house for quite some time. BUT... I have heard her moaning a few times after nights we spend together. Curious if she has a toy or some toys or just uses her fingers. Either way she is definitely masturbating.

Well that is it for now.

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Well I think it has been about a month since my last entry. Things are sort of getting romantic. I am not the romantic type but its like those things you see in her romantic movies. You kiss, you hold each others face and just look into their eyes. Granted none of our kisses have been make out sessions but they are a far cry from the days of kisses on the cheek. I will take that if that is all I get. It is almost like I hate to sound cheesy, that we are falling in-love.

I know I know I am dreaming but you can't blame a guy falling into the trap of her eyes. They are memorizing, and can't help but notice how hard her nipples get on a regular basis. You would think we kept the house at 60 degrees the way those things poke at you. And they are always more prominent after wine and time with me. Do you think I am turning her on? Maybe these calisthenics are finally working. I did lose my gut but granted I don't walk around without a shirt on. Still trying to get her to workout with me but even without she has an average body to some but to me it is sexy as hell.

I would love to just watch her sweat, watching her muscles flex, that would be a site to see. But I know better than to push too hard. Not like I am going to buy her a spin bike. That would just say "Hey you are fat. Get on this thing!" Not that stupid.

Well it is almost time for dinner. I think I will stick to water tonight.

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Well it is Sunday night and we spent all of Saturday together. On Saturday she went shopping and dragged me along. She even took me to the unmentionables store. I was uncomfortable at first but when I saw the things she was going to try on my imagination ran wild. From there we went to clothing stores one I like in particular where she bought more pajamas but these were more silky. I had to feel the material and the price tag after she grabbed it. Wasn't cheap but hell what do I know about woman's clothes. That could be the standard price for them.

Anyway from there we had lunch. Nothing fancy, one of those chain restaurants just to fill our bellies. Then we took a walk on the boardwalk where you have the beach and all the outside vendors selling useless items. Well there was one thing I bought not that you really care but was a back scratcher. Do you know she said to me "you don't need that. You have me to scratch you whenever you need me." Well I bought it anyway just doesn't mean I have to use it.

So anyway we then went to the liquor store or as they say it here the package store to stock up on some wine. I had no idea what to pick other than I prefer white because red gives me a headache and she doesn't seem to mind I prefer white.

After that went home and then ordered take out having it delivered. Then after dinner we went on Amazon and rented, yup you guessed it another romantic movie. But this time she came to the couch wearing one of those silky pajamas. I don't think from what I saw she was wearing the unmentionables with it though. It wasn't exactly transparent and not form fitting, but it does cover her body quite nicely and her nips seem to poke out even more in it than her t-tank or t-shirt. I didn't even think that was possible but they are

On the couch she cuddled next to me but without a blanket this time. Holding my arm, squeezing it, playing with my hair, rubbing my cheek and even at times turning my head for a little kiss. The first one I asked what was that for? She said and I quote "For being you." Not sure how I should take that but considering all the affection I been getting; I think it was a good thing.

Still I think I should suggest pot one day. Hey it might be fun. In fact going to smoke some now. Night all.

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Well I did it people, I finally did it. NOOOOOO not that. On Saturday I got her to smoke some pot. It was hilarious! First she choked at first, but the second hit she did better and then after it kicked in she was laughing her ass off. After that she got the munchies and we basically ate ourselves to sleep. Meaning we just passed out on the couch together. I was behind her with my arm wrapped around her and she was holding my arm in place. My hand, well that was on her stomach but I liked it. The only thing though, I woke up with a hard-on which was very much pressed against her. She didn't react to it or minded; I don't know which but it wasn't a big thing. Well I am not small but you know what I mean.

I asked if she wants to smoke again and she said to save it as a Saturday night thing. A ritual as you may call it. If it ends up like it did on Saturday night I am all for it. Just need to buy more because its a one-hour drive to the dispensary one-way.

Well with that said I bid you a goodnight.

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A week later and almost the same routine but I am not saying that is a bad thing. We did spend the day doing our own thing, she did a lot cleaning, I went to see some friends I haven't seen in awhile, and later came back to take a shower and have dinner.

Mom in her silk pajamas, me just in boxer shorts this time and a t-shirt. Together eating take out: Chinese this time. Wasn't till we got to the couch to digest that she popped open a bottle of wine, poured each of us a glass and poked poked around on the cable box for something. Nothing really tickled our fancy so we just left some movie we seen before playing as background noise.

This time we just talked, in fact we talked a lot and it was really nice. Was more than just a mother son talking, but almost like a couple having time together. I don't know how to explain it but it felt sort of that way or I wanted it to feel that way but couldn't say.

I did offer to smoke some weed but she said another time. Being that I didn't want to smoke alone I didn't push and let it be. However, we did have a lot of wine. We got to 3 bottles but didn't finish the 3rd for at some point we just passed out on the couch. But this time it was different. I woke up in the middle of the night with her head on my lap and my hand on her side. She on the other hand was completely out. The uncomfortable part was she was laying firmly on my cock which was borderline hard but not fully hard and I really wanted to reposition it. So not to bother her I tried to gently lift her head as I used my other hand to shift but then it happened. Not sure if she felt like she was going to lose her balance or something but she took her hand and placed it right on my cock.

So here I am holding my mothers head in my hands and her hand is on my cock. To say I was nervous and aroused would be an understatement.So decided maybe it would be best if I just gently slide out form under her and sleep in my own bed but her hand had other plans. As I was trying to slide away her hand made a grip onto my cock, and from there it was bad because I went from semi-hard to full blown erection aiming the wrong way.

What did I do you ask? The only thing I could do, was wake her up which I did gently. She barely opened her eyes asking what time is it which I told her I just know it's late and we should get to bed to which she replied okay. She started to sit up and then started to fall back down. I quickly stood up and kept her from falling and laid her down gently. I then took the nearest blanket, covered her and went to bed.

In hindsight I could have taken advantage of the situation, like feel her breasts, check her underwear, I basically could have done many things but it just didn't feel right with her like that.

I don't know I sort of regret it but at the same time I feel better about myself. Well that is all I have to say about that day so till next time see ya later.

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Before leaving for work this morning she sprung a surprise on me. In a couple of weeks time my mom is scheduled to go to a wedding she was invited to months ago. She figured she would have someone to bring by the time of the wedding but she hasn't been with anyone for awhile now and asked me to be her date. Naturally I agreed but she sprung a slight twist on me; I am to pretend to be her boyfriend. I was nervous and excited because luck would have it I look mostly like my father according to her, and she had me very young so the age difference while significant is also believable. I am to say I am about 5 years older than I really am but that aside I am going on as my mothers date playing a boyfriend. Also much like when it comes to my father not knowing much about him if anything, her work friends don't know anything about me. Turns out she never told them about having a son.

So now I have to get a a suit. I never owned a suit before and she offered to pay for it, so instead of waiting for the weekend she will meet me at the mall tomorrow after work to get one and probably have it tailored. She said since the wedding is in two weeks they most likely only need a week or less to get it properly fitted.

Also she said she needs a new dress which I asked if I am coming for that but she said she wouldn't torture me with that experience and could go home after we get the matter of the suit resolved.

I figure with this new event coming up I won't be writing for awhile. She mentioned about teaching me to slow dance on the Saturday prior which I will report in about. Wish me luck.

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It's technically Sunday morning as I am writing this, the night after the wedding but I couldn't help myself. These past two Saturdays were nice and at times amazing. First the slow dancing lessons wasn't that bad; I caught on pretty quick. After that it was your typical movie and wine but right after the movie we went to bed.