"Finally," I mumbled to myself. "Finally I'm here."
I had just got out from my car, after twelve hour drive to our family cottage. But now being there, it was again worth it.
I stretched my sore back and took my lungs full of fresh air, and just admired the beauty of the place. The same place I had spent many summers with my family before.
The cottage itself was not really that special in any ways, a two bedroom house with a nice big living room and a small kitchen. Just enough room for the four of us. The master bedroom was obviously for our parents, who had been killed in a car accident couple years before. The other bedroom I shared with my older sister, Hanna.
In a separate building, there was a sauna and a little guest bedroom, which in most times was my second bedroom.
But the location... That was something. Far up north, in Finnish Lapland. Just by the border river next to Norway. The view from the porch was just beautiful. You could see old forests as far as you could look and the flowing river down the hill. Half way down the hill is a little place for bonfire and benches made of split logs around it.
Just the perfect place for me to ease my nerves after a long stressful period at work.
I have always loved the place. The nature where it locates. I have never been too social as a person, and that place offered me the best ways to get my time and do what I love. As a youngster, it wasn't that unusual for me to pack my backpack with some fishing gear and a tent and head to the woods for couple of days of camping and relaxing.
Sometimes I stayed by a small pond, fishing my meals and cooking them at a bonfire and just enjoying the long summer days. Sometimes I climbed on top of the small mountain just to see the view it presented. My father had taught how to survive in the nature, so my parents were not much concerned if my trip took a day or two longer than I had said it would take. They trusted I could take care of myself and they knew how I sometimes just needed the time on my own.
Though Hanna wasn't so eager to travel the hours just to be eaten by mosquitoes (her words), she had no real choice. Our parents wouldn't leave her alone at home for the whole summer until she was 18. She tried though. She pleaded them to leave her home but they basically dragged her with us. Back then she was a firecracker and to be honest, she was one main reason I went to my hikes. We just didn't get along too well. And that's why the guest bedroom was in my use for most of the times.
Hanna is three years older than me. She is now 33 and she still lives her life like there is no tomorrow. I haven't seen her much lately, after we flew out from our nest we really didn't stay in touch. Sure we saw each other at family holidays but that was about it. Once or twice a year, for a weekend or so. After our parents funeral we talked for couple of hours and went our ways. I called her last Christmas to ask how she is doing and wishing for good holidays, and told her I was going to spend my summer at the cottage. She just told me it was good that at least I used it, since she didn't care much of it.
After our parents died, she tried to convince me to sell the place, but I wasn't going to let that happen. I told her I could even take care of everything, all the expenses and all so she would not need to worry about it. She eventually agreed to split the ownership with me, and I was happy I still had my retreat if I needed it. At that time I couldn't afford to buy her out from it, so this was the only solution.
I'm John, by the way. A 30 year old sales representative for an elevator company. My life so far has been a roller coaster between my job and rushing from relationship to another. Nothing seemed to last. The longest relationship I've managed to hold on was no more than a year. Every time the same. After the first rush, I just can't get the satisfaction what I want, or need. It didn't matter how beautiful or smart or nice the girl was, I just missed something. It has always been a total mystery to me, but I knew the fault was in me, not the girls I dated.
I could blame my job for everything, but I would be lying. Though shortly after the funeral, I basically stopped dating and put my focus entirely to my job. Financially it have paid off very well, and I have had many opportunities to travel around the world doing the job I oddly liked to do.
As I mentioned earlier, I have never been much of a peoples person, but I strangely like to make deals and travel. And, forgive me saying, I'm pretty good at it too. But the next four weeks would be just mine, and mine alone. Expecting human contacts only when in the town doing shopping or some hikers at the forest. I had waited this vacation for almost a year, since I first started planning this getaway. Or so I thought...
First week went fast. The place needed some attention and my time went by fixing things and getting the place in order. At the evenings, I made a small bonfire and sat in front of it for hours. Flickering fire, sound and smell of a burning wood. A fat joint. This was just what I needed. It was the best feeling for a long time. Not even a single thought of work cross my mind. I had made plans for next week to stay outdoors as much as I could so I had my backpack ready to go.
One morning, after a heavy breakfast, I couldn't wait to get into the woods. Back to the ponds where I used to camp and all the places I remembered. I spent the whole week hiking and fishing like a teenager again, and all and all, having the time of my life. But all the fun ends sometimes, so when I finally started my way back, I thought to check one more place first. It wasn't far from the cottage, about a half hour walk or so, but to get there you needed to go through a pretty rough terrain, so no-one ever went there. Besides the reindeers. And me.
As a teenager, I sometimes sat there for hours just looking at the view. I said the view from the cottage was good, but this was something else. The place located higher than the cottage, and gave out a spectacular sight. I even made a small round of rocks to make a safe place for bonfire while I sat there. Now I needed to check if "it was still there". And it looked like there had been no-one but animals crossing by. So my place was still untouched.
When I got back at the cottage, it was already getting dark. There was something strange. The lights were on. I was pretty sure I didn't leave them on when I left. And I was damn sure I didn't leave the front door open, like it now was.
'Burglars,' I thought. A little creep was climbing up my spine but I thought to take a closer look.
I took my phone ready to take a picture or call the police when I saw something I wasn't really expecting. Hanna came out and lit a cigarette.
'What the hell is she doing here' were my first thoughts until I went to greet her.
"Hey sis! This is unexpected. What are you doing here?" She was clearly in her thoughts and startled when I spoke to her.
"Damn John! I almost burnt myself with this." She was showing her half smoked cigarette.
"And besides," she continued, "is that a proper way to say hello to your sister?"
As she had said that, she came to me and took me in a tight hug and kissed me on my cheek. It was very unusual of her, so I instinctively backed down a bit.
"Who are you and what have you done to my sister? You look and sound like her, but you really don't act like Hanna."
She burst in laughter and took a grip of my hand.
"Shut up. It's really me. Maybe a bit different me, but still. Come on in. I will make some coffee and sandwiches while you wash that dirt from your adventure off."
She started to drag me inside and I was just too amazed to resist. I left my backpack at the porch and went in behind her. She started to put up some food, like it was the most normal thing to do and nothing was out of order. It took me a moment until I got my mouth open.
"Hanna. Could you please tell me, why are you here?"
She didn't even bother to turn her head to look at me when she quipped
"Half of this place is still mine, isn't it?"
I wasn't sure how to react. Of course that was true, we split the ownership. But still...
"Sure, that has not changed. But correct me if I'm wrong, I remember you hating this place. Million mosquitoes, outhouse and where water runs only if you take a bucket and run with it."
I took a breath until I continued.
"Besides, you knew I was coming here and I don't remember you wanting to just spend time with me from the past, so once again. Why are you here?"
This time she at least faced me when she replied.
"Well, I guess I owe you an explanation. But right now, long story short. I really need to spend time with you. Deal with it."
The last sentence she said with wide grin on her face. She turned her head back to what she was doing and continued.
"Now go and take a quick wash, I'm almost ready here. We have time to talk more later."
Well, she wasn't going to give me an answer so it was all the same to and take a quick wash. When I got to sauna, I found everything ready. Holders for spare logs were full, so was all the water buckets. And I was sure I didn't leave them full. So she must've done that. Something I don't recall her ever been doing before.
Not to complain in any ways, it felt really nice to go to a ready table, so to speak. Last week, though it was really nice experience, was exhausting. I wasn't a teenager anymore.
I was sitting at the steam, totally warped by my own thoughts when I heard the outer door opening. I heard Hanna walking around the changing space.
"Johnny," she exclaimed, "coffee is ready when you are. I bring you a towel cause I didn't see you bring one with you. No hurry, come when you are ready."
And as soon as she had said that, I heard the outer door shut and Hanna left.
'What the hell was that' I thought to myself. 'What has gone into her?'
She was right though, I had forget to take a towel with me. Now all my stuff were in our old room, somehow I liked to sleep there, instead of the sauna cabin. Luckily I had at least enough brains to take clean clothes. I finished my wash up, got dressed and walked back to find a steaming cup of hot, black coffee and a delicious looking stuffed ciabatta waiting for me. After we finished our late night snacks we moved to sit on the couch and I started my interrogation again.
"Now, you know I won't let this go, so for the third time, why are you here?"
Hanna looked like there was something she really wanted to say, but for some reason she held back.
"It's just... I..."
I was almost ready to fall asleep and to be honest, started to be a bit cranky when I snapped to her.
"Just spit it out! We are both adults here and whatever it is, you can tell me. Something happened?"
Her gaze turned to the floor and she started quiet sobbing.
