Chapter 3 - Managing Amy
"I saw you, Mom."
The words caught Jill completely off-guard, and visions of her and Scott's passion tumbled insider her brain, wondering which act, particularly, Amy might have witnessed.
She turned to face Amy in the kitchen. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I saw you at the party, Mom, swimming. Don't you think you're a bit old for that kind of behavior at a party?"
Jill's Psychologist mind reeled through the night, and realized now, Saturday morning, that Amy's "holier-than-thou" attitude was the last straw on this camel's back. Deciding that a good offense was the best defense, she easily outmaneuvered her, and began her attack.
"So, you're now the behavior police at my birthday parties, are you? I wasn't aware that rules were in place?"
"You know what I mean, Mom. That swimsuit, the liquor. All of it. Don't you have any sense of modesty?"
"Oh, sweetie, if you only knew." Jill's spear was sharpened. "Unlike you, I'm not ashamed of my body or my behavior, and I'm certainly not willing to take etiquette lessons from an 18 year-old who is afraid of both." As she spoke these words, Jill looked over Amy's full length shirt, covering a fully padded bra, buttoned up to her neck. "Look at you, girl. It's like you're a poster child from the 50's or something."
Amy's insecurities came marching out. "Well, at least I show a little modesty, Mother." She flashed her eyes at Jim for support, but he had already turned into the morning's paper, knowing EXACTLY how poorly this was about to go for Amy.
Amy saddled up to Jim on his left, holding his arm, presumably for support. A father and a daughter.
"A little modesty, hmm? Amy, look, I'm just not as uptight as you, and I don't mind people looking" she turned her back to her to open the fridge "so long as I decide who gets to touch." She smiled openly, winking at them both, and cupped Amy's jaw with her left hand, the carton of OJ in her right.
"But how can you be so casual about it, Mom? Dad?" and she looked at Jim for support. "Didn't you see everyone looking at you?" Amy walked to the opposite side of the kitchen island to sit with her. "Geesh, I think even Scott was ogling you."
Jill coughed slightly as a sip of the juice caught in her throat at that comment. Oh, man...If she only knew.
"Look Amy, men are men, and boys are boys. I just handle them. Did you see me do anything disreputable, denigrating, or embarrassing, or was I only Amy-imprudent?" Jill was seated, gazing at Amy across the table-top, then Jim. She could see the conflict in Amy's eyes.
"No, I guess not." Amy's eyes turned down towards the countertop "I wish I had your confidence."
"Oh, Baby," Jim finally joined in "it's all in you, you know? You just have to let things flow and you'll see. Stop being so uptight." He winked at her, and Amy smiled that million-dollar smile back.
"I'm not. O.k., maybe I am a big, but it's only because I don't have your guy's confidence, and I don't have your confidence because I don't have your experiences, Mom. I'm only 18, and I don't want to screw up my life." Her eyes were welling up, and the practicing Psychologist caught the underlying tones.
"Amy. Daughter. You try too hard. What experiences do you think you need to be confident?"
Amy was staring at the countertop again. "I don't know. Stuff." This was Jim's cue to leave. "I love you, baby girl. Talk with you Mom, o.k.?" and out the door he went.
Such a teenager answer. Jill reflected on what was driving the conversation.
"Amy, is Scott pressuring you to, you know..."
"Well, Duh, Mom. Yeah. He's like a frickin' horndog most of the time I'm around him, and it seems like that's all that's on his mind lately. Yesterday especially. I can't touch him without him getting an erection."
"Well, sweetie, what has he been asking of you?"
Amy looked up. "For a while, it was just touching. But now, he's obsessed with me, you know, doing that thing with my mouth."
"You mean, oral sex?"
"Yes, Mom. He wants a blow job." Jill had found the source, and was rooting around to see how deep the roots had grown. "Problem is, Mom, I've never GIVEN a blow job, and I have NO CLUE what I'm doing! I don't know how to start, how to proceed, how to know if it's right, or wrong, and I have no idea if I want him to cum in my mouth, or if I should swallow, or spit it out, or if that will offend him. Nothing. I have ZERO knowledge!"
Jill chuckled. Here was her father's daughter, the engineering student she knew would succeed, if not for analysis paralysis. "Jesus Fuck, Amy, stop it. You're making it sound like the building will fall if you don't build it right" hoping to use an analogy she'd understand.
"Laugh all you want, Mom, but I'm serious. I don't want to do it wrong, or screw it up. I want to be good at what I do, and I feel lost. That, plus Scott knows I'm hoping to keep my virginity until I'm married, and I'm afraid that this will lead to the end of that."
"Well, so what if it does, hmm? I mean, what's the worst that could happen, Amy? You'd lose your virginity to someone you care about. How do you think it happens for the rest of the world? And in the process, you might learn a thing or two about yourself."
Amy was quiet. These were good points. Out came Senator Amy "I want to do it somehow before I give that to Scott, Mom. I want to be really good for him. How do I do that.?
"What? How the hell would I know?!" Jill was genuinely astounded by her brashness.
"I'm serious, Mom. You need to help me with this. I want to know how to do it, and I want to know if I'll like it. If I'll like the taste of sperm."
"Umm, o.k., Amy, two issues. Number one, you may have noticed, but I don't really have the parts for this. Last I checked, you'll need someone with a penis, and number two, sperm tastes different for each guy."
Whoops. This was an over-share, and Jill felt herself blush.
"What?! How would YOU know, Mother?" Amy's eyes were wide in disbelief.
"Oh, c'mon, kiddo. You can't be serious, right? I'm not 18, like you. I'm 38."
"Well, yeah, but you've been married to Dad for 21 years, Mom. Isn't that most of your time, you know...doing stuff?"
"We are not talking about me, Amy" and Jill stood to move towards the sink.
"Actually, now, we are, Mom. You obviously have some experience here. Please say you'll think it over and help me?" Amy's eyes were begging her. She played her trump card "or, I guess, I can go experiment somewhere, and see what I can learn on my own." Amy turned away, looking back over her shoulder at Jill, lifting her eyes to see her reaction.
"o.k., o.k., hang on. The last thing I want is my daughter prostituting herself on the street to learn about human sexuality. Let me think about this, o.k.?"
Jim was on top of Jill in their king-sized bed, deep inside her, nearing his orgasm, as Jill pulled his head up from her breast to whisper in his right ear. "Say you love me, darling."