"Roberta, we need to talk." I said as my wife got into bed.
"About what?" She had her people magazine so I knew she didn't want to talk, she wanted to read.
"This is difficult, but I have to say it." I cleared my throat and looked for the right words. "I want your permission to cheat."
She stared at me for a moment. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" She asked.
"C'mon, be reasonable. I mean, how long has it been since we had sex?"
"That's all you ever think about --sex."
"Because I never get any!" I said. "Do you even remember the last time?"
"What about Halloween?"
"That was a handjob, that doesn't count." I said. "Besides, it was done with very little enthusiasm as I recall."
"Well I'm sorry, but there's no way I'm letting you stick that thing in me." She said. "I'd rather keep all of my orifices un-prodded if you don't mind."
"See, that's just it." I said. "The very idea of sex is disgusting to you. But me, I need it Roberta. If I don't have sex soon I'm gonna go crazy!"
"Don't be so dramatic." She said. "I know what you do in your study, typing away on your computer late at night. Typing with one hand no doubt."
"That's not the same." I said. "I need physical contact."
"Poor baby." She said with all the sarcasm she could muster. She leaned over to the intercom box on her nightstand and pressed the button to talk. "Jeremy, mommy needs a drink." She said into the machine.
The voice of our teenage son came out of the little speaker. "But mommy, I'm studying." He said.
"Bring mommy a gin-fizz with a lime." Roberta said into the machine. "And don't talk back." The silence on the other end meant that he was complying.
"Alcohol makes everything better, doesn't it dear?" I asked her.
"Yes." She said. She opened her magazine and pretended to read.
"I never got an answer to my question." I said. "Do I have your permission to seek sexual satisfaction outside of this dead marriage?"
"No." She said. "And if you give me a reason to divorce you, I'll take it, and I'll make you pay."
"You're an irrational cow." I said. Jeremy came in and served her-royal-highness her drink, and asked if she needed anything else. She told him he had to clean the downstairs bathroom and rake the yard in the morning and then she let him go. He slouched out of the room with his head hanging down, a posture I'd gotten used to over the past week. "You're also a tyrant." I said, standing up. "I'm going to my study to jack off."
***
I should explain something here. We don't usually treat our son like a butler, but he was on punishment. Why? I'm glad you asked. My son had been suspended from school for sending 'inappropriate' pictures of himself to his gym coach.
Imagine how Roberta reacted. You would've thought he'd killed someone or raped a nun or something. The school said we were lucky they hadn't gotten the police involved and that they would've been forced to get the police involved if Jeremy hadn't turned eighteen the month before.
I wasn't particularly shocked to find out that Jeremy was gay, I just wondered why he wouldn't go after someone closer to his own age. Hell, I kinda admired the kid for taking a shot if you want to know the truth. When I was his age I was afraid to ask a girl out on a date, and here Jeremy was- emailing naked pictures of himself to his gym coach. There's a generation gap for ya.
He was suspended for a month and Roberta decreed that he was grounded and would have to do any chores around the house that needed doing. Of course, crazy bitch that she is, she quickly started taking advantage of the situation, making him give her foot-rubs and tend bar. The whole thing made me sick to my stomach.
***
I went down to my study and opened up my favorite video file on my computer. It was a girl tied up and blindfolded being fucked in the ass by a much older man. I'd been down there about fifteen minutes, and had just started really stroking, when there was a knock at the door. "What?" I called out, yanking up my shorts. The door started to open and I X'd out of the video file just in time.
Jeremy was standing there looking embarrassed, like he knew what I'd been doing. "Uh, mommy said I should come down here and see if you needed anything." He said.
"No Jeremy, I'm fine."
"Okay, sorry." He said. He turned and left the room. I was pissed. Roberta was selfish, self-righteous, and had a sick sense of humor, but this was beyond even her. Sending our son to interrupt me. She was probably upstairs laughing about it. I figured she must be drunk already.
***
The next evening after work I was in the den, trying to relax with leftover Chinese food, a beer and a basketball game on TV, when Jeremy came in with a feather-duster and started dusting the shelves. Roberta. She knew I was having a nice moment so she sent him in here to disrupt it, just like the night before. I decided I wasn't going to let her succeed.
"Jeremy, you want to take a break from the dusting and watch the game for awhile?"
"Maybe later." He said, looking down. He went back to dusting a bookshelf that didn't need it.
"She won't even know." I said. "If she asks I'll tell her that you were dusting the whole time."
"No, I better not." He said, still looking down. "Are you done with that beer?"
I said I was and when he came over to take it his face looked strange. "Jeremy --look at me." I said. He looked at me and I saw that he was wearing bright red lipstick. Tears were welling up in his eyes. "Why are you wearing lipstick?" I asked.
"M, Mommy says I have to." He said as the first tear ran down his cheek. "She says it's part of my punishment."
"That's crazy." I said. "C'mere." I got a couple of tissues and started wiping the lipstick off. "This has gone too far now, I'll have a word with your mother. Now go, get out of here."
As he left I realized I was feeling odd. I was getting hard. It was a confusing hard-on because I didn't know seeing my son humiliated would be such a turn on. I wasn't ready for it. I undid my pants and took hold of my cock. I pictured his ruby lips and the tears coming down his cheeks as I stroked. It wasn't long before I exploded cum everywhere.
***
"Roberta, you can't make our son wear lipstick. It's fucked up." I said, climbing into bed beside her.
"If he's going to behave like a little slut I think he should look like one too."
"So he has to wear lipstick while he dusts shelves that don't need it?"
"I don't think you realize just how sick that son of yours really is. He wears lipstick up there in his room when he's all alone. He told me so." She said.
"He told you that?"
"Yes." She said. "I went through his room and found a pair of my panties and one of my bras stashed away with his winter clothes. When I confronted him about it he told me he likes to dress up and wear lipstick and eye shadow. He said he would dress up and fantasize about that horrible gym coach. You should've heard the things he wanted that man to do to him."
"You asked him about his sexual fantasies?"
"I like to know what's going on in my own house. I don't think a person should do anything in private that they would be ashamed to do in public. That's why he has to wear lipstick when he cleans from now on."
"Why not make him wear a dress?" I asked.
"He'd probably like that. Freud would say that he subconsciously wants to get it all out in the open, I'm just helping him along. I don't want him thinking he can keep dirty little secrets. That's not healthy." She leaned over and pressed the talk button on the intercom. "Jeremy, could you come in here please?"
He came in wearing sweatpants and no shirt. He's a skinny kid and his hair hangs down almost to his eyes. "Yeah?" He said.
"Your father and I were talking about your punishment." She said. "The lipstick, will you please tell your father why you must wear it?"
"It's to get everything out in the open." He said to me.
"And?" Roberta prompted.
"And because it's wrong to do stuff that you don't want other people to know about. Especially your mommy and daddy."
"That's right because it will all come out eventually anyway, just like those pictures you sent to your teacher." Roberta said. "Which brings me to my point. I think it's time your father took a look at those pictures that caused all this trouble."
"B-But I deleted them!" He cried.
"You are going to send those pictures to your father's email, and you're going to do it tonight. We know there were five pictures and since your camera is confiscated, you won't be able to substitute them."