Jenny Discovers Who She Really Is

This is the longest piece I have written, and I am truly sorry about that. But somehow, splitting this story into several parts felt wrong. If someone doesn't have the time, strength, or interest to read all of it, I totally understand. Thank you for trying.

There is a lot of non-consent in this. There is force, slapping, choking, spitting and piss play. If you do not like this, please do not read it.

For real.

There is also a lot of talk about anxiety, bad self-esteem, and mental health problems, if you suffer from this and get triggered by it, please do not read this. Take a walk, go outside, breathe the air, and talk to a friend. You are not alone, I see you and I love you.

There is also a lot of drug use. So yeah, you know the drill, don't read it, etc.

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I bent my head over the line and snorted all of it. The rush was instant and I pulled my head backwards to catch it. I quickly saw stars and it felt like my mind was racing down a highway of neon lights. The quick rush sped through my body and tingled all the way. It felt like my nails were alive and every single hair on my body had a nerve in it. My heart was racing and my blood was rushing through my body at high speed.

It was amazing, euphoric, scary, and absolutely fucking wonderful.

I blinked a few times and smacked my lips before I bent down and did the last line of cocaine from the sink. The next rush wasn't as intense but it was enough and I could feel my asshole tightening and my toes curling, my teeth singing, my pupils opening while lightning ran down my spine and spread the scorching heat through my veins.

I was just about to wipe the tears from my eyes when I felt an iron grip fist the back of my head and yank my hair with considerable force, the pain was instant and I didn't even have time to scream out before my face was shoved hard into the bathroom mirror. For a second I was worried my nose was broken, but the iron grip still held my hair and pushed my face even harder into the mirror. It was really scary and at same time really exciting is such a fucked up way. What the hell was going on?

"WTF!!" I finally manage to get the words out of my mouth against the mirror. "Let me go!!!"

But the hand just pulled my head back and slammed it into the mirror again, but even harder this time, and the whole mirror shook.

"Cocaine? In school? Even for you Jenny that is beyond fucking stupid! And this time I will have you out of this school before your high has even left your feeble fucking mind."

Fuck! That was the voice of my class teacher Mr Stevens. And he hated me.

He pulled my head back one more time and smashed it into the mirror.

"What are you doing in the girl's bathroom, Mr Stevens?" I knew I should probably keep my mouth shut, but that had never been my strong point and I regretted the words before they even left my mouth.

He slammed my face into the mirror one more time and I was seriously starting to lose the feel of my face. This was gonna hurt so fucking much once the coke left my body.

"Really Jenny? That is your worry? Not that I caught you doing cocaine. On school time. IN FUCKING SCHOOL!!" He screamed the last words to the back of my head that he still held hard against the mirror.

He let go of my hair and I took a deep breath while I saw one of the booths open carefully and my friend Susan wiped her mouth and fixed her skirt before she sneaked out of the restroom. But I had seen enough. Of course, he was fucking her, she was too nice and weak to say no to a teacher and he was too much of an asshole to not use her. Well, that explains what he was doing in the girl's restroom. I should have fucking known better than to assume it was empty in here. And now I was royally fucked. Again.

I had only been in the US for two years and Mr Stevens had been my teacher for both of them and he had never liked me. I came from a different culture and I had a hard time adapting to the stricter American ways and yeah maybe I had a big mouth, and just maybe I was a bit of a pain in the ass. Too smart for my own good, too anxious, too depressed, too different, and just too fucking reckless. And I was about to pay the price for it.

The only problem was, I could not get kicked out of school. I was here with borrowed money, and I would only receive that money if I finished my classes. It was a Swedish system, I got to borrow money for going to school abroad and I got the money at the start of each semester after I had sent in the credits I'd taken. No credits, no money. No money, no place to live, no food, and worst of all, no school meant no student VISA and I would be here illegally.

Sure, Fredrik my dad was here too, but I had burned that bridge too. Big surprise to no one. He was teaching at another school for one semester, some sort of teaching program where he would talk about living as a writer and working in Europe. It was a creative writing program and he loved it, but would be going back to mom in Sweden at the end of the semester. He was so sweet and offered that I live in the house his school was supplying him with, but I had wanted to be independent and said some stupid shit and we had fought and I had honestly not talked to him for at least a month. I hadn't even answered the phone when he called me on my birthday. Yeah, I was that much of an asshole. Just another of the shining moments in Jenny's life. The fuck-up.

So why the coke and why in school?

Because I was fucking stupid, there was no other excuse. I had turned 19 yesterday and we had had a huge party and there had been coke and alcohol and weed and fun was had and there was dancing and well when I woke up this morning there was still coke left. So like the mental case I am I brought it to school as a way to get through today's boring classes and cure my hangover.

But the thing I needed to cure now was my smashed face, probably a black eye, a half-broken nose, and the ugly bite in my tongue. Oh yeah, and being kicked out of school. And it wasn't even 10AM. Great fucking day Jenny! Go stupid Swedes!

Mr Stevens grabbed my hair again and dragged me towards the door, the problem was that he didn't open it he just slammed me into it and I slumped to the floor. He casually stepped over me and left, turning around just before the door closed.

"I expect you in my office in 30 minutes. And, please, fix the makeup. This school has certain standards, which I assume will rise once you are gone."

The door slammed in my face and I started crying.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I washed my face in the sink with shaking hands. My nose hurt like hell but didn't look broken and my face was bruised but I didn't see any damage. A small victory at least. I tied up my long red hair in a sloppy knot in the back of my head and applied some new makeup. I had on a white button shirt, I looked at my tits and unbuttoned two buttons. Why not, I was screwed anyway, maybe he would be more lenient if I showed some cleavage. I had always had big firm tits, and why not work with what I had. Fuck it, I unbuttoned one more, I was not wearing a bra so if you looked from the side you got to see a lot of sideboob, and that had helped me before. I fixed my skirt, took one last look in the mirror, and walked out.

Mr Stevens was sitting behind his desk when I got in and he showed me to a seat and just sat there staring at me. And not even at my tits, and if he had seen my cleavage he couldn't care less. Ok, first mistake on my part.

"What should I do with you, Jenny? Do you even wanna be here? You have fought me from day one." His eye contact is unnerving and my anxiety is peaking and I start sweating. What the fuck am I doing. I am so fucking useless. I really hate myself right now and have honestly no idea what to say. I just wanna disappear.

"Nothing? No snappy reply?" Those fucking blue eyes just looking straight through me.

"Everything is just so... different", I stammer and look at the floor. "I wanna be here... it's just... I don't know. I'm so sorry Mr Stevens." I look up and I am sure I have tears in my eyes and I am not even faking it. I feel pretty hopeless right now, and so far from home.

I felt the cocaine high dying from my anxiety and fear and I needed my meds pretty bad and most of all I needed to throw up and go to bed. Maybe to never wake up. Yeah, that would be nice right now. Fucking end it all.

"Don't sell me that bullshit Jenny, you are way too smart for that and what pisses me off the most is that someone with your grades and brain are so fucking stupid that you do drugs in school. That is honestly beyond me." He looked so disappointed in me that I just wanted to tell him that it was not his fault, that it was all me, and that... my head was unraveling and my mind was spiraling out of control. I was so nauseous and so scared and I didn't know what to do.

"Soooo, Jenny, what do we do?" Again with those blue fucking eyes. I had never seen such blue eyes and it was honestly unnerving.

I stammered something incomprehensible and mumbled until my voice just died out.

"What was that?"

"I don't know, I don't know." I was seriously panicking and I couldn't form a single thought, it was just chaos in my head and my anxiety was so fucking bad I was unraveling right in front of my teacher.

"I could blow you?" Where the fuck did that come from? My blood turned to ice when I realized what I had just said and I had to swallow hard to not just throw up on the floor in front of Mr Stevens. What the hell was I saying? I was such an idiot!

"What was that?" He didn't even flinch, he just sat there and stared at me.

"Nothing. I said nothing".

"Oh, I heard what you said. Loud and clear. I just want you to say it again, so we are both one hundred percent fucking clear that it was not my suggestion, that it comes from the 18-year old fuck up from Sweden". He spat out the last word.

"I could blow you...", I mumbled while staring at the floor.

"Yes, you fucking can! First smart thing you've said in a while. Lock the door and get down on your knees now". He stood up and walked around the desk towards me.

"But let's make this fucking clear, it is not nearly enough to save you from being kicked out of this school, but it is a nice and pleasant beginning, and I appreciate that you came up with this idea". He unzipped his pants and pulled out a huge monster of a cock.

I was not a virgin and I had given head before, but it didn't mean that I was very experienced. I knew guys liked my body and I had an easy time getting boyfriends, but I was still shy and suffering from a crippling self-image, I was insecure and I was riddled with anxiety.

And I had never sucked a cock bigger than 7 inches and Mr Stevens was at least 9 and I was not a big girl. I was 5'1 with a slim body and long red hair. My eyes were very green and my skin was pale. The only thing on me not being petite was my big tits. They had started growing early and just like mom I had a small body with big D cups.

Mr Stevens was stroking his big cock and I got nervously down on my knees in front of him. He slapped his cock in my face a few times before he grabbed my hair and fed his cock into my mouth. The head was big and tasted of pre-cum and I let my mouth get used to it before I started slowly bobbing my head up and down over his cock. He forced in some more of his cock and I did my best to take it, and then some more, and then he was reaching my throat and I pulled back.

His cock fell out of my mouth and he slapped me hard in the face. My whole side hurt, my ear was ringing and the pain was stinging.

"I didn't tell you to stop" he pushed his cock into my mouth again. But this time when he reached the opening of my throat he just pushed on and I started gagging and coughing. He continued pushing down my throat and the saliva was pouring out between my stretched lips and down over my chest.

He pushed some more and when his cock was all the way down my throat he held my head with both hands and forced my head still while I was struggling for air. My mouth was fully stretched over his cock and my nose was slammed against his body and no air was getting to my lungs. I was starting to panic but knew better than to try and stop him. So I kept gagging and struggling for air when he suddenly released me and my lungs gasped for the fresh air.

"Not used to deep throat I take it?"

I shook my head not trusting my voice to work and still struggling with my breathing.

"But you have sucked cock before?"

I nodded and he smiled.

"Have you been facefucked?"

My eyes got big and I shook my head. I think he could see the fear in my face because he just laughed.

"Trust me you will love it, your mouth is made for it".

He slapped me hard in the face again and forced his cock back down my throat.

This time I was a little bit more ready and I didn't gag as much, there was still some coughing and some saliva slipping out between my stretched lips.

"My wife hates this, but teenage girls love it. I've never figured out why."

He grabbed my hair with both hands hard and held my head in a vice grip and started violently fucking my face, My mouth felt like a pussy the way he was pumping while tears streamed down my cheeks. My eyes were bulging and that just encouraged him to fuck my mouth even harder.

And then he suddenly stopped.

My mouth and throat were hurting and I was desperate for air. My mouth was full of saliva and I was too tired to spit so it just poured out of my mouth and over my clothes. Mr Stevens grabbed my hair really hard and lifted my head and body roughly, it really hurt and I let out a desperate whimper right when he slammed me facedown on his desk. My already sore head hit the wood hard and my big tits got the same treatment hitting the desk. He lifted my skirt and totally destroyed my panties when he roughly ripped them from my body and threw them in a corner.

"I don't understand why teenage girls bother with underwear".

He pressed my face hard into the desk with one hand while lining up his cock with my wet cunt with his other.

I couldn't believe my body was betraying me like this. I was being forced against my will to fuck a teacher and my cunt was soaked. I was so fucking horny and it felt like my cunt was on fire. I couldn't believe it, my body was working against me.

When he finally pushed his monster of a cock into my cunt I gasped from pleasure. It felt so fucking good and I hated him for it. My tight teenage cunt was stretched around his cock and I had a hard time breathing properly. It felt like his cock was ripping me in two and when he grabbed my hips and started fucking me the first orgasm was riding through my whole body.

I shivered and shook and whimpered and Mr Stevens just pressed my face harder against the table and continued to rape my poor cunt, and I loved every second of it.

His pace was relentless and up until that second I had never been fucked this hard. His giant cock was destroying me and he could not have cared less. To him, I was just a petite teenage slut that he could abuse.

And he wasn't wrong, at that moment he could have done whatever he wanted with me, I was that turned on.

Not that I could have stopped him even if I wanted to. His hand moved down to my throat and he started squeezing. I couldn't get any air and the harder I struggled the harder he choked me. My eyes were bulging and I was stomping with my foot, but just when I felt that I couldn't take more, he let go of my throat. He also pulled his cock out of my gaping cunt and quickly moved up to my face and started painting it with warm sticky cum. Rope after rope covered my face. I got it in my eyes, up my nose, over my lips, and in my hair. He totally ruined my make-up.

"Who knew you were such a slut, Jenny. Maybe I can find a way to not kick you out of the school. We'll see, I might need your help on Saturday, but I will let you know. Now get the fuck out of my office, you are dripping cum on my desk."

He unlocked and opened the door, not caring that my gaping cunt was facing the door.

And then he left.

I am not sure if I have ever felt so humiliated.

And so turned on.

My cunt was still soaked and I had to forcibly stop myself from masturbating right there and then.

Now where could he keep the wet wipes?

The next few days passed by in a blur. I felt disconnected, full of anxiety, worse than normal, and very, very confused. I definitely self-medicated with weed and spent a lot of time just in my room stoned out my mind and furiously masturbating.

Weed had always helped with my anxiety and depression and it also stopped the constant whirlwind that was my brain.

I was thinking of Mr Stevens. He had somehow nestled his way into my brain, and I was so fucking confused. I hated him, I truly did. And still, every time I masturbated, and that was a lot, it was always him I saw. Those piercing blue eyes, the hair pulling, the big cock, the way he had treated me, it made we so wet, so fucking horny.

Who was I?

I finally called my dad, and we went out for a coffee. But it was part of that blur and I have no idea what we talked about or how long we met. But I do remember thinking that Mr Stevens was the same age as my dad and they looked a lot alike and that really fucked with me. What did that even mean?

On the Friday, after class, Mr Stevens asked me to stay. I instantly got a bad feeling in my stomach, this could not be good. My anxiety spiked and I got nauseous. Really wish I had smoked some weed before class, I needed that numbness right now. It felt like my meds didn't work, I was quickly spiraling.

As usual, the fucker didn't say anything he just stared at me. And no matter how much I didn't wanna admit it, those blue eyes did something with me. I wanted to flee out of there, smash a chair in his face, or do anything he said. Somehow I couldn't let go of that feeling of helplessness and fear I had felt in his office and how wet it made me.

I pressed my thighs together and looked at my shoes.

"So... what did you want?" I mumbled.

"I will have some colleagues over for some drinks on Saturday, and I was thinking you should join us".

"Erm... I don't know Mr Stevens", I stammered. "There is the homecoming party and... erm..."

"You have someone you need to see? Someone you are hoping will fuck you? Jenny, do you have hopes of meeting someone? Is it true love? Or were you going to do more cocaine? Was that the plan?" His blue eyes pierced me and I pressed my thighs harder together.

"No... it's not that... I... erm... had promised to go". What the fuck was I talking about? And why couldn't I think clearly when Mr Stevens was in the room.

"Jenny! Look at me!!" I lifted my eyes to his.

"Jenny, it was not a question. Do you understand what I am saying? Either you come to my little gathering on Saturday or you can pack up and leave the school right now. I don't fucking care, I just got the impression you did. Or did I misunderstand you sucking my cock the other day? Was that just you collecting teachers for your cocksucking book?"

"No, no, of course not. I will be there. I promise".

"Good", he stood up and turned his back to me. "You can go to the party first if it is so important for you to suck some tiny teen cock, I really don't care. Shall we say 11pm. And again, to be crystal clear for your little drug-addled brain, that was not a question either." He turned around and looked at me. "Did I give the impression I wanted you to stay? Or were you going to beg me to go down on your knees again? If not then get the fuck out of my classroom".

Mr Stevens was right. And that just made me hate him more. I hated that he could see right through me. For some reason, I had always been good at hiding my emotions but with him it was impossible.