The taxi left me off in front of the familiar small house in which I had grown up and then moved out of as soon as I was eighteen and emancipated from my folks. I had lived on my own for ten years in St. Louis, Chicago, and most recently the Valley outside Los Angeles proper. Now I was slinking back home unannounced, with a roller bag and and a large duffel of my meager belongings collected and saved from my ten year odyssey from the comforting confines of my childhood home.
I tentatively rang the doorbell and heard the muted chimes of the inner bell. After a minute or two, I pushed the doorbell again. "Maybe she isn't even home." I thought to myself dejectedly.
Just as I sat down on the stoop and hung my head in my hands, I heard the door open behind me.
"Janie?" My mother asked in wonderment.
I quickly turned my head to her. "Yeah, Mum." I said as I got to my feet.
"Baby, come here to me!" My mother cried with outstretched arms.
"Oh, Mummy." I sobbed as I fell into her arms. "I'm home."
And so I was. At home in the small Missouri town that had been my best place and my worst place growing up. All those memories came flooding back to meet me as I embraced my mother on the top step of our family's doorway.
"Come in, come in." My mother cried as she helped me with my baggage. "Why didn't you call?" She asked me in bewilderment as we dumped the bags in the small foyer.
"Oh, Mum, please don't ask questions. Not yet." I said as I ran to the family room to collapse on the old couch.
"Can I get you something?" Mum asked as I reclined, letting the exhaustion of the long return trip overtake me on the soft couch.
"No, just let me lay." I said softly. And then I was asleep.
I felt a soft shaking and my Mum's soft voice waking me from a sound nap. "Janie. Janie, honey, wake up."
I shook the cobwebs off my head and opened my eyes to a soft light of table lamps. It was dark outside now. I must have slept for hours. "OK, Mum." I said as I opened my eyes and tried to re-adjust to my new (old) surroundings.
"It's dinner time. I fixed your old favorite." Mum said with a soft smile.
"Meatloaf and macaroni?" I asked, still half drowsy.
"Yes, baby girl. I remembered."
Even though this return trip was an admission of a young life somewhat wasted through self-indulgence, I appreciated Mum's thoughtfulness and felt warm all over at being home after so many years in the wilderness of big city life.
Mum helped me off the couch and walked me to our small kitchen table with her arm around my waist. She sat me down at the head of the table. The spot usually held by my father when he was still around. I sat down remembering the bastard who made me want to leave here as soon as I could.
"So, tell me about your life, all the adventures you had." Mum said as we ate the meatloaf and macaroni.
I didn't want to tell my Mum the truth of my existence for the past ten years. It was filled with many strange experiences that she wouldn't understand and wouldn't approve. There was the teen prostitution year in St. Louis when I first hit the road on my own, the two years in Chicago when I worked as a stripper, escort and call girl, and finally, the seven years in San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles where I did video porn and more escorting - even getting to have sex with some minor celebrities, both male and female.
"Oh, it's been great but I just missed home." I lied to Mum.
"It's so nice to have you home. I wish you had called more often." Mum said.
One part of me wished I had called more, too. But the sex, drugs and alcohol of my fringe existence had blotted her and Dad from my life. "Yeah, I'm sorry, Mummy." I said as I took a big forkful of macaroni into my mouth.
Mum began talking about all the goings-on in the hometown and after awhile I tuned most of it out. I am not a good daughter, I thought to myself as I ate and daydreamed while Mum went on about all the small events of her life and the small town she lived in and I had left so long ago.
"Mum, is the Golden Circle still open here?" I asked, interrupting her monologue.
"Uh, yeah, I think so. But why do you care? That's a strip joint." She answered with a laugh.
"I need to make some dough." I said, continuing to eat the meatloaf and macaroni before me.
"Janie!" Mum sounded shocked. "You..."
"Yeah, Mum. I could do that to earn my way here." I said, never lifting my face to hers as I answered.
"Baby girl, you don't need to do that." She said. Then her voice lowered an octave and whispered hoarsely, "Have you...done that...worked...in those places before?"
"Yeah, Mum." I said trying to sound nonchalant about it to the mother who had raised me as a good Midwestern girl.
"Oh, Janie." She muffled a sob. "You shouldn't have."
"Well, Mum, that's what I did to get by." I said, leaving out the farther phases of my adult "career" positions.
"You were always a pretty girl and still are." Mum said in a more upbeat voice, the denial of my admission evident in her response.
"I got on very well in St. Louis, Chicago, and L.A." I said, still eating the delicious dinner before me.
"Oh, Janie." Mum answered, with resignation as she began to realize or imagine (not fully) what I had been doing after I left home a decade ago.
I finished the big plate of meatloaf, mac and cheese and pushed it away from me on the table. Mum immediately rose to clear my dish and took hers in her hand as she walked to the sink.
I sat back in my chair and watched Mum at the sink. Mum was wearing a thin cotton housedress, barefoot, as she ran warm water over the plates. It had been several days since I had last had sex with either a male or female and I began to notice my mother's figure as she worked in front of me. I was immediately drawn to her hips and backside that were facing me as I watched her from behind. When she rubbed the dishes, her hips and ass swayed by a fractional amount. I rose from my chair and went to stand next to her.
"I'll dry." I said.
"Oh, you don't have to do that." She said sweetly, glancing at me sideways.
When Mum's face turned towards me, I remembered that she was a nice-looking woman. Mum had bright eyes, apple cheeks, and sensuous lips. (Yes, I thought to myself, sensuous lips). Her hair style was small-town frosted brunette in a mid-length style and, when I glanced down at her body, I noticed the heft of her bra-less bosom in the thin cotton housedress. The shortness of the housedress showed a nice expanse of thigh, then a nice curve of calf muscles leading to her thin ankles and pretty size 7 bare feet with silver polished toes.
When I was living in the Valley outside Los Angeles, I had done some porn videos with "milf" actresses and had grown an affection for older women with great bodies. Most had been enhanced with silicone implants and other cosmetic tricks of the porn trade. As I watched Mum, I realized that she was as facially attractive and naturally as physically endowed as many of the professionals I had been paid to have sex with for the cameras. When I left home ten years ago, she had just been my Mum whom I wanted to get away from along with my bastard father. Now, she was taking on another image in my randy mind.
I awkwardly put my left arm around her waist as we washed and dried dishes.
"Janie, it's so wonderful to have you here again." Mum said.
I pulled Mum a little closer to me so that our hips were touching each other. "It's great to see you again, Mum." I answered.
"Oh!" Mum exclaimed as she felt me pulling her closer to me.
"Do I dare make a move?" I wondered to myself as I felt Mum's rounded belly and soft hips in my arm. I chose the middle course of gently kissing her cheek as she fussed with a dish in the sink.
"Janie!" She cried. "You're so sweet, sweetheart."
"It's great to be here with you, Mummy." I said as I pulled her closer to me and began turning her to face me. When she finally put the last dish in the drying rack, she allowed herself to be turned fully to face me. I am a couple of inches taller than Mum and I bent down a fraction to kiss her on the lips. It seemed so natural to me to kiss Mum as I had kissed so many other women. I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her into me and kissed her as though she was one of the milf partners with whom I had video'd.
Mum was stiff at first but when my lips were on hers, she seemed to loosen up infinitesimally and I was able to open her lips to a full-on french kiss. I felt her tongue begin to enter my mouth as I kissed her. "Yes, this is working." I thought to myself.
"Janie, no. This is wrong." Mum said between our kissing lips.
I simply kept kissing her and ran my hands down her back to cup her derriere in my hands. I could feel Mum's hands begin to push me away but the longer I held onto her and kept our mouths together, the weaker was Mum's effort to forestall me. I pushed my thigh between her thighs so I was up against her crotch and softly grinding into her center.
"Oh." Mum breathed when I began to apply some pressure to her vulva with my thigh. She responded with a little more passion in her kissing now.
"Let's go upstairs." I whispered in her ear as I moved my hands from her backside to hold the soft sides of her heavy bosom.
"Janie, no." She said forcefully.
"Mum, I haven't had sex for days." I said in a desperate-sounding voice, hoping to make her feel sorry for me.
