If you've read my earlier stories about my relationship with my son Charlie, you'll recall he has an older sister named Em. At that time, Em lived on the other side of the country studying at a 'name' university. Charlie, for pragmatic reasons, decided to remain at home and study at a university about an hour from here.
It goes without saying that my husband has never learned of my relationship with my son and has no need to be suspicious. I am, outwardly, just a normal mother.
Very early on as our 'affair' (what else do you call an unfaithful relationship with another man?) blossomed, it became obvious that lovers need a pet name. My husband calls me 'Baby doll' or Babe; I call him 'Honey'. Charlie was a bit yucky about calling me Mum or Mother and wanted to find something a bit more intimate. We inventively agreed on 'Jane' -- seems quite intuitive and grown-up. If my husband calls me that, it's serious. When Charlie calls me that it has a private intimacy. I made it quite clear to my husband that I was okay with our kids calling me by my name and he shrugged and said "whatever".
I'll skip a lot of what happened in the ensuing weeks. Incredibly, almost certainly I became pregnant to Charlie on day one. With my husband we always used condoms as I did after my first love-making with Charlie. For certain reasons I'd been advised to avoid falling pregnant and when I discovered I was, after my initial shock I started considering my options. However, nature intervened and my pregnancy ended. With my doctor's advice, I decided to undergo a tubal ligation and after that, condoms were no longer on the shopping list.
Charlie and I became more familiar with each other's desires, moods, tastes and limits. Some mornings when it was safe (and he had a full day off), he'd wander into my bedroom and relieve himself quickly with simple intercourse. Despite what many believe, often that's all the woman wants too, or at least that's all I sometimes want. Passionate, detailed, extended and explosive lovemaking can be wonderful but not when you have a stack of work or jobs on your mind. Because I mostly worked from home, I could be flexible but I still had work to get out.
Just occasionally, all I wanted was to cuddle and if Charlie was still in bed as young men often are at 8 in the morning, I'd climb into bed with him. If he wanted to do something it was wonderful but if he was really sleepy, we'd just spoon and go to sleep.
Occasionally the mood would overtake us in random places and we'd fuck on the kitchen table (wow!), the washing machine (double wow!) or even in the car in the garage.
Both of us enjoyed watching porn and sometimes we'd use it as inspiration for ourselves. Chairsex was very common and we'd sit on my chair in Em's bedroom (my home office) and look at different sites while we lazily indulged in each other. We did enjoy incest porn - after all, we could have been natural stars -- but didn't just limit our tastes to mother son porn. We enjoyed father daughter, brother sister...
"Do you ever wish you could do something with Em?" The first time I asked him, he shook his head, the second time he nodded but told me it'd be too risky and anyway, unlikely. That's what I love about our relationship, we can express thoughts and desires without threatening the emotional security of the other. So he had some desires for his sister? So what - I'd thought of Em sometimes too.
"What if I could make it happen?" I'd ask (not having a single idea how that could be done anyway), and he'd just tell me to drop it.
The idea stayed in my mind and even when I was alone, I'd look at brother sister stuff and masturbate frantically. The thought of Charlie and Em being together was challenging to me. As a mother, the first instinct is to protect your children and yet here I was, the corrupter of Charlie. A mother also has trouble putting her children, particularly her female children, into a sexual context and it used to make me slightly uneasy thinking of Em being with a guy... or a girl. Finally, and most honestly, the thought of Charlie and Em being together made me jealous. Charlie and I had become very close obviously and I'd gone to a lot of trouble to keep an intellectual space between Jane the wife, the mother and lover.
I'd still watch that sort of porn and it always had the same effect on me. I'd lie awake in bed thinking about it and become so aroused I wanted to scream. I had no idea what I'd do if I ever found out they were or had been together but the chances were unlikely as Charlie was seemingly happy with his arrangements and besides, Em was only home during major vacations.
Once when I was alone and had some time, I climbed into her bed and wondered what it would be like for Charlie to come to me there. I'm sure you can guess what I did next.
One day I was reorganising some rooms and as usual, using space in Em's wardrobes as overflow. I dreaded her moving back simply for this reason. It was while doing something similar some months earlier, that I'd discovered her sex toy and which had lead me by a strange and fortuitous route to my being discovered by Charlie.
As I re-hung dresses and other clothing, I discovered, in a dry-cleaning bag, her high school uniform. The school she'd gone to had a quite strict and old-fashioned approach to dress codes and she'd worn this until her senior year.
Em and I are almost identically sized and can swap clothing easily. A silly urge overtook me to try her uniform on and as I did so, I began to transform into her. By the time I'd pulled up her long cotton socks, the look was almost perfect. I walked into the bathroom and, using makeup remover, took off every layer of foundation, lipstick and eye-liner I could find. Pulling my hair back to a ponytail was the final touch. I'd kept myself in good shape since my years at school and could almost pass, in the right light and at a glance, as my daughter.
I continued working around the house stopping frequently to admire myself in mirrors. I felt happy and young and wished I could share it with somebody. At one point I lifted my skirt and pulled my panties slightly down. I'd decided to keep myself hairless and so I looked like a senior there as well.
When the phone rang, it was Charlie. "Hi Jane, I'll be home in about an hour -- anything we need?".
"No Charlie, all I need is you". I could almost hear his smile.
I wanted Charlie to see me this way but in some ways I was nervous and unsure. Despite my confidence in our relationship, at quiet times in the night when you drift between dreams and lucidity, my convictions felt fragile. I loved Charlie and knew he'd never hurt me but I could have been easily embarrassed if he laughed at me. Dressed as his sister, I wasn't sure what his reaction might be.
When he came home I sang out from the other end of the house. "Charlie, I'm up here. I have a little surprise for you but I don't want you to laugh -- okay?".
