It's the Way You Loo at Me

I was cautiously optimistic for Jamie as we boarded the plane and headed to Colorado. I wanted to see Jamie happy and try to start a relationship with her mom after all these years. I still couldn't help question why though. Why didn't Jamie's mom, Becky, try and find Jamie herself? It wasn't like it was that hard. Jamie had been in the same place for twenty years of her life. It would have been easy for Becky to find her. It wasn't like Jamie had moved several times over the years. I was to be on my best behavior and try to behave while Jamie searched for her own answers. I was just there to support her during this time.

We landed at Denver International then rented a car before heading east towards Sterling. After the long drive we pulled into the driveway of a modest little house off the main drag and parked the car. I stretched my tired legs and took a deep breath of some cold ass air.

"So much for getting someplace warmer," I sighed.

"Soon enough baby," Jamie laughed. "Just two days."

I glanced around the neighborhood as we started up the driveway.

"This sure is a long ways away from Hollywood," I sighed.

"Please be nice," she quipped.

"I'm just stating a fact," I offered.

She gave me the look. The one that said please be nice so I don't have to get mad at you. I sighed softly before taking her hand. We reached the front door and knocked. The door opened and there stood the spitting image of Jamie just older. She smiled as she saw Jamie for the first time in a very long time.

"Jamie?" she cheered and questioned at the same time.

"Can't you tell?" I joked with a little bite to it.

Jamie shot me another look before she answered. They both stepped towards each other and hugged tentatively before she turned and looked at me again.

"Owen?"

"The one and only," I sighed.

"You sure did grow up into a handsome young man," she offered.

"Thanks, I guess. Time will do that to you though."

"Yes, indeed it does," she said before offering me a hug.

I took it reluctantly before we separated and waited.

"Come inside and get out of the cold."

She opened the door further and let us inside. It was very clean and orderly as I glanced around. She led us inside to the kitchen table before offering us a seat.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" she asked.

"Water," Jamie said quickly.

"Owen?"

"Water is good for now," I replied.

She went to the fridge and grabbed two waters before returning to the table.

"How was the flight? It wasn't too hard to find the place was it?"

"It wasn't too bad," I offered. "Pretty much a straight shot from Denver to here."

"That's good," she said.

It was awkward sitting there. We all knew the reason for this trip. It was to meet each other of course, but the underlying reason was to find out why. Why did she take off all those years ago and never try to contact Jamie again? Becky avoided the question for the time being.

"How have you been Jamie?" she asked. "I heard you just got back from a long trip to Europe again."

"I did," she smiled. "It was long an exhausting this time. I didn't have Owen with me this time so it seemed to drag along."

"Owen travels with you?" she questioned.

"Last spring he went with me," she replied. "The trip flew by. This time it was boring. The hours were long and the work was a pain in the ass."

"How long are you home for?"

"A couple of weeks then I'm going out again."

"Are you going with her this time?" she asked me.

"That's the plan. I don't have anything going on now that the season is over."

"That's right," she smiled. "You got some playing time I hear."

"Yeah, I started the last two games."

"That sounds exciting," she said quickly.

"It's a lot of work," I sighed.

"Oh?" she questioned.

I started to explain and paint a picture of what it was like getting ready for the game on Sunday. She listened with interest as I talked a lot about the prep work.

"Do you mind?" I asked, pulling my can from my pocket.

"No, not at all. John used to dip all the time. Have at it."

"John?" I questioned.

"My ex-husband," she sighed. "Ten years for nothing."

I nodded.

"He was a good man," she offered. "Once we moved from Hollywood to Vegas, we drifted in different directions. It's been five years now that I've been divorced."

"Is that who you left my dad for?" Jamie asked suddenly. That surprised me that Jamie was so forward now.

"Well," she sighed.

"Sorry if I'm being forward," Jamie offered. "But this was going to come up sooner or later."

"I know," she sighed again. "I left with a man named Jimmy and we went to Hollywood. We spent a year together trying to get me discovered. It was a hard road and the stress made us fight a lot. He ended up leaving me. I met John shortly after and dated him for a couple of years. We married and continued to try to get my name out there. We spent another year or two trying and nothing was working so we gave up."

"That's when you moved to Vegas?" I asked.

"Yes. The city was booming back then and I got a job on the strip in one of the shows. I hoped it would lead me back to Hollywood. That didn't pan out as you can see. John and I wanted different things out of life and it made us fight a lot. We split up for a while then got back together to try and make it work. It just wasn't meant to be and we called it quits after that."

"Why did you leave my dad then?" Jamie asked. "Was he not a good man?"

"He was a good man Jamie. Don't question that."

"Why did you leave us then?"

"I had always dreamed of being a movie star when I was a little girl. We were going to move to Hollywood but you came along. He wanted to stay close to home and focus on raising a family. The Hollywood thing was just a dream and it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't happy with the life I was leading so I told him we needed to move and get a fresh start. He didn't want to go since he had a steady job and his family there."

"So I ruined your dream," Jamie said hurt.

"No, don't say that," Becky said quickly. "You were never the reason why. It was all me. I wanted to make something for myself and I was tired of being the house wife so I left. I'm sorry I left you Jamie. If I have one regret in my life it was leaving you. I made a big mistake not being there for you and I'm so sorry for that."

"So you ran away from everything and never bothered to contact her?" I asked.

"I regret not being there," she said. "I felt guilty for leaving and I couldn't take it back so I felt the best thing to do was to stay away. I know I was wrong for doing that. Nothing I can say can explain it. It's not your fault though Jamie. Don't let yourself think that it is."

"You broke her heart," I quipped. "She cried at the door every night for a month hoping you would come home."

"All I can say is I'm sorry," she sighed.

I shook my head and spit into my cup. Jamie sighed as I looked over at her.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Jamie. I missed out on so much and I regret that. It must have felt terrible not to have a mom there for you."

"My mom filled in for you," I said. "She did a great job making Jamie feel loved."

"If I ever see her again I will make sure I tell her how much that means to me then," she offered.

"That's going to be a little hard now," I sighed. "She passed away a few years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that Owen," she sighed. "I really am."

"Me too," I sighed again. "I really miss her."

We sat there in silence for a moment until she started again.

"All I can say Jamie is I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me someday. I can't make it up you but I can try and make up for the time I lost out on."

"That's why I'm here," Jamie said.

She looked at us again before sighing and changing the subject.

"You two sure grew up fast. You are beautiful Jamie and you look just like Dan."

"I am his son," I offered.

The timer went off on the oven as I was about to ask another question. She stood and headed to the oven to check on dinner. My phone started to ring in my pocket as she opened the door. I pulled it from my pocket and looked at the number.

"Wilson," I said answering it.

"Yes sir, Mr. Hansen," he said.

"Hold on just a second," I sighed. "Be right back baby."

I left the table and grabbed my jacket off the hanger before I stepped outside.

"What can I do for you Wilson?" I asked now that I was outside the house.

"I have a package here at the front desk for you Mr. Hansen."

"I'm out of town for a while. Hold it there or take it up to the room and toss it on the table."

"Yes sir, Mr. Hansen. I'll deliver it to the room for you. Enjoy your vacation."

"Yeah," I said sarcastically. "I'll try. See you when I get back."

I put the phone back in my pocket and stood outside for a minute breathing in the clean and crisp air. It was good to get away from the city but I'd rather be home right about now. There was something twisting in my gut that said there was more to the story than Becky was letting on. I took a moment to clear my mind before I went back inside.

Jamie and Becky were talking again about Hollywood and fashion when I went back inside. I sat at the table and sipped on my water until dinner was ready. With the hard part of this visit somewhat taken care of things went a little smoother. We ate dinner then sat around the table and talked more about life and what we had been doing. Things were less serious now as we talked.

"Owen," Becky called from the garage. "Can you come here for a second and get a few boxes down for me. Jamie wants to see some old photos and I can't reach the boxes."

"Sure," I smiled.

I headed to the garage and looked to where she was pointing. The boxes were high up on a shelf in the garage.

"Which one do you want?" I asked. "All of them?"

"If you could," she smiled. "I'm not sure which one has the photos I'm looking for."

"Sure," I sighed. I started lifting the stack of boxes that was four high.

"Damn," I panted. "What the hell do you have in these things? A dead body?"

She laughed lightly as I pulled a little harder and got the boxes off the shelf. The bottom box suddenly split open and dumped everything out onto my feet. This caused me to jerk and knock the other three off and onto the floor. I stood there holding the one empty box.

"Shit," I gasped. "Sorry about that."

"No, don't worry," Becky quickly offered. "They are very old. I'm surprised they have held together this long."

"At least you didn't dump everything on the floor," Jamie giggled a little.

I set the broken box on the floor after folding the flaps back in place. The other three had held together and didn't dump everything out.

"Let me get some tape so I can fix that box," Becky offered.

"I'll start cleaning this up," I said.

"If you don't mind," Becky called.

"I did make the mess," I said to Jamie mostly.

She moved a few things into a pile for me then fixed the other boxes that had fallen over. I started making a pile to make things easier. I looked over the stuff as I moved it around. It was old photo albums and a few loose pictures. I saw Becky in a bunch of them along with a few guys that I didn't recognize. I didn't bother to really look at them as I made a pile.

There were a bunch of notebooks and journals at the bottom of the pile once I cleared the pictures out of the way. I stacked a few before I found one that had opened. It was just by shear chance or blind luck that this one in particular had opened the way it had. Fate maybe. I glanced over the words written on the page. It was a diary entry of some sort but it caught my eye almost instantly.

I have this guilt I read. I can't live with this guilt anymore. It's going to destroy Lynn if he knows. (Lynn was Uncle Buck's real name but we never called him by that. He hated it.) And Jamie for that matter. We look like a happy family on the outside but on the inside I'm dying. I can't keep doing this. Why did I make such a horrible mistake?

"Where is that box?" Becky asked, coming back into the garage with the tape.

I quickly shut the journal and set it on top. I was onto something but I knew I didn't have the time to find out what it was all about.

"Right here," I sighed.

She took it and started taping the box as Jamie flipped through an album and asked about a picture.

"Just give me a minute," Becky giggled. "We can sit down and look through them in the house. I can't leave this mess out here."

"Here you go Owen," she said. "All fixed."

"Thanks," I said.

"Do you mind putting them back on the shelf for me?"

"Do they go in any particular order or doesn't it matter?"

"No," she smiled. "Just as long as they get cleaned up I don't care."

"Works for me," I sighed.

"This is the one I'm looking for," Becky said as she picked up a box out of the pile.

I took the remaining boxes and stacked them back on the shelf. I put the one box that had the journals in them on the top so I could come back to it later if I got the chance. I had to know what it was all about. I would read the whole damn thing if I had too so I could figure out what she was writing about.

Jamie and Becky sat at the table and looked through the old photos for a long while. I wasn't interested in her life to be honest. I had my laptop open and my headphones on as I watched game film from last week at Buffalo. The season was over but I wanted to keep my mind sharp and be at my best for next season.

"What are you doing over there Owen?" Becky asked.

"Studying," I sighed.

"Studying? For what?"

"Next season. It's game film from last week at Buffalo."

"Oh, I thought you meant for college or something."

"I'm past that now," I smiled lightly.

"He constantly studies," Jamie offered. "That's all he does when we are home."

"Home?" Becky asked. "Do you two live together?"

"Yeah, we share an apartment," I said honestly.

"You two are still close I take it."

"We have been together since birth so it's only natural," I offered.

"True," she smiled uneasily.

"He's always been there for me," Jamie said. "Every bad date, every hard break up, all the bad days. Owen has always been there for me. He's good to me and I can't thank him enough for that."

"I've always got your back baby," I said not thinking.

Jamie didn't even catch it as she smiled her perfect smile and gave me that look of love she had always given me. Becky caught it but didn't say anything about it. She smiled a curious smile at me then yawned deeply before looking over at Jamie.

"I'm worn out. I'm going to call it a night."

"I'm tired too," Jamie agreed.

"Who is going to sleep on the couch?" she asked. "I've only got the one bed in the other room."

"I don't have a problem sharing a bed with Jamie," I said cautiously.

"It's kind of small," Becky warned.

"We will make it work," I sighed.

"I will see you two in the morning then."

"Good night mom," Jamie said softly.

She smiled at Jamie before pushing herself away from the table and went to her room. Jamie and I retired to the room. Jamie started to change as I sat on the bed.

"She caught what I said to you," I said softly.

"What?"

"I called you baby."

"You did didn't you?"

"Yeah, she caught it too."

"What should we do?" she asked. "Should we just come out and tell her?"

"I don't know yet Jamie. Let me feel her out a little more before we decide."

"You don't trust her do you?"

"Not fully. There has to be something more to her story than just what she has told us."

"Can't you just trust somebody for once?" she hissed.

"I'm trusting my gut on this one baby."

She sighed before crawling into bed and pulling the covers over her body.

"Don't be mad at me baby."

"I'm not," she sighed. "I know you are looking out for me. That's all you've done your whole life is protect me. Sometimes it's a little much though."

"You are so important to me. I can't help it."

"Sleep on it Owen. Tomorrow is another day."

"I know," I sighed.

I kicked my pants off and slipped under the covers with Jamie. She let me snuggle with her but I could feel her annoyance with me right now.

*

I awoke sometime in the night with her body draped over mine. Her one leg was spread out over my hips as her arms were gripped around my body holding me like I was a pillow. My cock was poking against her leg as she softly breathed in my face.

I went to move my arm but couldn't as she had it trapped against my body with hers. It was sleeping and tingled as I lay there trying to get her to move off it just a little.

"I'm cold," she whispered. "I don't know how you are so warm all the time."

"I don't know," I whispered back.

I twitched my cock making it bump her leg again as she giggled softly at my movements. My free arm moved to her hip and touched her night shirt just above her hip. I traced her warm skin down her leg feeling how smooth and soft it was. Something about her skin always turned me on. I flexed my cock again into her leg making her giggle again.

"Put it away," she whispered softly.

I said nothing still as I continued touching her skin. The smooth and firm skin of her thigh slid so easily under my fingers as I traced it. I went higher and higher up her leg each time until I was touching her butt. Nothing met my fingers but her skin as I softly drew circles on it now. It was relaxing me and I almost drifted off again until she moved her leg slightly higher on my body to my stomach.

I inched over more and traced her crack down to her center. My fingers found her slit in the dark room. They touched the soft skin of her cunny as she sighed a content sigh. Her soft little hairs tickled my fingertips as I traced her lips. I let my fingers tease her some as she lay there pretending to sleep again.

I pressed in a little and felt them part open from my touch. Her warm wetness met my fingers as I let one slide against her inner lips. She moaned softly as I touched her now. Her hips turned just a little to meet my touch. I let my finger slide along her cunny spreading her juice up to her clit. It was still hidden under the hood as my finger touching it lightly.

I traced back down to her opening and dipped in just a little. She was soaked already as I let my finger press further inside. I could feel her walls squeeze me as I moved my finger around and teased her. I let my finger fall away from her and move back to her clit. I bumped it with my finger before circling it with the lightest pressure. She moaned again and shifted her leg to open herself up more now.

"What do you want?" she whispered seductively.

"You," I replied softly.

She growled softly as my fingers circled her with a little more pressure. My cock was leaking my desire now as I slipped back into her wetness. She whimpered softly as I twisted my fingers around and touched her spot. More wetness coated my fingers as I slipped out and went back to her clit.

"Fuck Owen," she panted. "You know all my spots."

"Five years together will do that to you," I offered.

She went to shift around now and straddle me. I pressed my arm against her leg denying her movement for the time being. She whimpered as I pressed back into her cunny and fingered her with a little more force now.

"Owen," she begged. "I want you inside of me."

"I am inside of you," I teased.

I twisted my fingers around hard inside of her sending pleasure to her core. She moaned loudly as I started a quick in and out on her.

"I want your cock," she whimpered.

"Cum for me and you can have it."

"Fuck," she whimpered again.

Her nails dug into my chest as she turned to me now. Her lips found mine as she panted into my kiss. My tongue found hers as she panted and whimpered as my fingers worked her harder. As she moved my other arm was given some space to move. It was numb as my finger tingled. I concentrated hard to find her clit with them. Her whimpering into my mouth let me know I had found the mark.