"Can I tell you a secret?" I asked.
My reflection in the mirror stared back at me, silently. I worked on my best seduction face, pursing my lips together as I looked out through slitted eyelids.
"Can I tell you a secret?" I asked again. This time my voice lower, sexier. "There is nothing, and I mean nothing, I'd rather do, than be close to you. I want you to know... ahh, there... "
Damn it. Even when hitting on myself I didn't know what to say. Why is talking to girls so hard? Will this shit ever get any easier? Okay, one more try.
"You wanna know a secret?" I asked, sexily eye fucking my reflection. "I couldn't imagine anything ever, more hot... more hotter, than feeling you against me... naked..."
"MUM! MICHAEL IS TRYING TO GET IT ON WITH HIS REFLECTION AGAIN!"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I yelled at my very slightly older twin sister, Jessica, whom was now standing in the doorway to the bathroom. I spun around and threw my toothbrush across the room at her, missing as she ducked away out of sight. She had an annoying habit of just walking into the bathroom without knocking. Like seriously, is it that hard to get a little privacy without someone just barging in on you. Of course, that's what sisters are for. To be annoying. I heard her laughing as she galloped away down the hallway, excited to share my embarrassment with our mother.
"God damn it," I cursed, then looked back at my shameful reflection in the mirror. "Can I tell you something everybody already knows. There ain't a chance in hell I am getting laid tonight!"
Tonight was meant to be my night. It was meant to be everybody's night. The rumour is, that nobody left one of Aaron White's parties without getting some action. Apparently, the alcohol ran freely, and the girls even more so. One of my friends, a total nerd, told me that even he got to second base at the last party. And he is practically socially retarded and he also pissed himself in public last year. Even with that memory still fresh on everybody's mind, he still scored. My sister told me, promised me even, that I'll definitely get laid there. "I'll hook you up with one of my friends, squirt. And if that fails, I'll take care of you myself," she had teased.
She's probably about 20 minutes older than me, and her nicest nickname for me is squirt. And although the idea of my sister hooking me up with some sympathetic sexual stimulation was a weird thought, I oddly enough wasn't completely disturbed by the idea.
It was Saturday night. Usually I would be holed up in my room, headset on and barking "yo mamma" expletives at noobs during a grueling all-night gaming session. That was pretty much my life now. School and gaming. I don't really have many friends, mainly due to my mostly reclusive lifestyle, and I found myself with a mostly defiant attitude towards popular trends, mainly out of justification to not fitting in with those trends. I wasn't always like this though. Once, I had a lot of friends and found it quite easy to get to know people. But as I got older, and especially once girls had become my primary focus, I began to over-analyse everything. School, friends, behaviours, the world around me. But most of all, I over-analysed myself. Soon, I couldn't do or say anything without silently questioning how that was interpreted by my peers, whether they thought I was a dick and they were just humouring me. I started excluding myself from their plans and endeavours, and instead I just stayed home. And now here I am, an 18 year old with massive social anxiety, and a virgin.
Tonight however, I finally conceded to the pestering of my few remaining friends. A couple of nerds that I've known for years, but more recently have come closer to as I secluded myself from the masses. Much like myself, they found they didn't fit in with other people our own age, and mostly kept to themselves. They're two of the most genuine people I know, and that's why I still have something to do with them. They don't seem to judge me, and in turn I don't question their motivations.
As I was grabbing a bite to eat before heading out I had to snicker at my parents. Saturday is usually date night for them but this week Dad had made alternative plans with his buddies. Some sports thing I'd imagine. Lately, it seems that it has been sportsball night more often than it has been date night. What was funny, to me anyway, was Mum was trying her hardest to entice Dad to stay in with her for the night. She was attempting to use various euphemisms to disguise what could be in store for Dad if he stayed in for the night, so as not to get my attention to what she was actually saying. Because apparently I'm still a stupid naive child who doesn't know anything about sexual metaphors. My favourite was staying in to do some "interior decorating". It's a sad world when parents in their forties are getting more sex than eighteen year olds who have the reputation of going at it like rabbits.
I was picked up around 9pm. Mum yelled out to me as I walked out the door, "Don't get anyone pregnant!" It was a sweet thing to say, because in her mind there was a chance that I could get laid tonight. God I was well nervous when we arrived. My friends were failing at amping me up for the occasion and I felt sick in the stomach when we stepped out of the car... or I was hungry. The music was so loud I'm sure it could be heard from neighbourhoods away from here and I wondered how long before this party was going to be shut down by noise control. As I cautiously entered the property I immediately felt a rush of anxiety when I saw how many people were there. We passed by a sign near the entrance way that read, "Everyone here must be at least 18 years old" and I knew that Aaron White was the kind of person that would enforce that rule with extreme and strict adherence. As we wandered on through the crowd I estimated hundreds of kids there, all attempting to be heard over the blaring music, which caused a droning ambient noise to be constantly present.
I was handed a cup with some drink in it, I didn't know what it was, nor did I care at this point. I smashed that fucker back quickly and handed the empty cup back, to my friend's laughter. I became aware that my field of vision had narrowed to such a fine point that I was no longer aware of my surroundings. Another drink was handed to me which I downed as quickly as the first, and immediately there was a third handed to me, obviously in preparation for my anxious drinking that my friends were now used to. I grabbed the new drink and set off. I had no idea where I was going, but leaving my 2 friends behind I moved onwards amongst the droves of people. I do this, I hide in plain sight. It helps calm me down as I feel less self-conscious than I would being in full view on the outside looking in.
Soon, I started to feel accustomed to all the people and the noise, and my vision started to widen. I was able to take in more of my surroundings as my breathing started to regulate. I still had the drink in my hand so I took a couple sips as I looked around, taking in all the people. There were alot of girls here. The clothing they wore was so revealing that not a lot was left to the imagination. Now that I had calmed down I went and found my friends again and actually started having a good time. We kind of had our own dark little corner where we people watched and laughed about the made up commentary we were doing, imagining they were the stars in an animal documentary. We were the outsiders, we knew this, but it was fine. We were having our own good time.
Suddenly, out of nowhere a girl was standing in front of us. She was speaking directly to me but my mind wasn't registering the words she was saying. She was gorgeous though. No, not gorgeous, she was sexy. Her face was kind of plain, but what she was able to do with her make-up gave her a sultry look, along with her black, stylishly dishevelled shoulder length hair. She was dressed in minimal, yet tidy attire that went to great lengths to amplify her feminine charms. I recognised her from school, one of my twin sister's friends in the same year. She was no longer talking, just smiling at me, waiting.
"Huh?" I questioned.
"You, silly," she said, then grabbing my hand pulled me away from my comfortable, isolated corner. "Come on."
She led me out past the outside crowd of party guests, out behind an old rickety garden shed. She gently shoved me back against the wall as her hands went to the top of my pants and she cutely looked up into my eyes as she promptly undid my belt. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on as this girl, who's name I didn't even know, proceeded to undo my pants and giving me another cute smile she dropped to her knees in front of me. Luckily for me, my penis did know what was happening and was at attention, ready, as she reached her hand into my boxers and taking ahold, pulled him out to the chill of the night air.
I gasped as she started pumping my me, every so often she would look up at me and smile as she worked on me. I would awkwardly smile back, silent except for the occassional groan. Her fist moved up and down my shaft with increasing enthusiasm and I moved my hips slightly to match her hand. The reality started to hit me that I was getting to enjoy my very first handjob, somehow by some odd twisting of fate, or possibly a mistaken identity. I didn't have time to contemplate this however as I watched my nameless pleasure-giver lean forward and take me into her mouth. The feeling was earth-shatteringly exquisite as I moaned far louder than I should. She swallowed me down to the hilt in one go, then pulled back with just the head remaining in her mouth as she sucked and slurped on me for a moment. She continued this for maybe a minute more, max, before I felt that all too familiar feeling deep in my balls.
