Thank you for reading my story, I hope that you enjoy it. Love Mica xx, Yorkshire England.
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Please note that I am a British female, and I write in British English and vernacular, so for me a fanny is the correct term for female genitalia, a pussy is a pet cat and the ass is a bum or arse.
I apologise for any typo errors in my story - I edit these myself, and I'm not perfect...
We met, as you do sometimes, in a busy coffee bar in Leeds. We both aimed for the only empty table and arrived simultaneously, both pulling out a chair. I supposed that I should be a gentleman and concede ownership to a lady, but, well, I was not really a gentleman, and I had no real idea if she was actually a woman, never mind a lady.
"Shall we share?" She said, absolving me of any requirement to make a decision on whether should I claim or whether should I concede.
"What an excellent idea," I exclaimed and proceeded to sit down placing my mocha (medium) on the table before me. She was wearing a dark blue dress that seemed to fit her like a surgical glove, her shape obvious to those of us that may care to look.
"My name is Paul," I said.
She looked at me as if deciding whether to respond or just drink her coffee. She picked her coffee up and said, "mine is Lola."
"Oh, great name, we should have met in a club in Soho."
"Yes, yes, I know, and drunk champagne that tastes like Cherry Cola. Gosh, I have never heard that one." She took a drink of her coffee. I was sure that she was mentally tutting.
"Well, I can say that although you walked like a woman, you sure as heck don't sound like a man."
"Would it matter?"
"No, not in the slightest."
"Good."
"Good."
Well, this was going downhill fast. I picked up my Mocha and took a slurp and tried to disguise the fact that I had just burned my tongue, bloody thing was like napalm.
"God you must have an asbestos tongue," she said, "mine is way too hot to drink."
"Yup, as is mine, as I just discovered."
"Ah."
"I was distracted you see and was not thinking."
"Much better than the club in Soho line."
"Indeed, that, in hindsight, was remarkably lame, again, I was distracted,"
"Don't milk it, you had a win, take it."
"So Lola, I have possibly the most boring job in the world, I run my own company and am a Consultant that sorts out failing Government departments. The amount of government red tape that I have to wade through is just unbelievable."
"I bet there are stories that you could tell."
"There may be, only I am not allowed to tell them. It took a long time to get my security clearance, I for sure do not want to lose it."
"I see. Is this a roundabout way of you telling me that you are a spy and that do actually work in import and export."
"Ha, nothing so exciting, and even if I were, I could neither confirm nor deny it. What about you?"
"I am self employed as a legal secretary. I go from company to company on short contracts doing legal work. Exceedingly boring."
"I studied law once, oh, a very long time ago. I got as far as Carlill versus the Carbolic Smoke Ball Co and decided life was too short."
"Ha, yes, almost the beginning of Contract Case law that. You didn't study for long then, I think that is almost the first thing they teach you."
"Well, long enough to get an O Level in Law, and that is it. It was just not for me."
"Ah, so, an O Level. Heady stuff." She laughed. "I did four years at university to become a legal secretary."
"A little longer than my three months for an 'O' level then. Well done for surviving and coming out the other side."
"That was easy compared to the drivel that I have to deal with now, the stuff that they find too inconsequential to handle in chambers."
"I would ask you, but I expect you have a duty of confidentiality."
"Indeed I do, and there are a lot of very clever legal minds that would take me through every court in the land should I be silly enough to be indiscrete."
"Instead, may I ask you, I see you have no rings on your fingers, if you would care to meet me for dinner one evening?"
"I see. You don't really waste any time, do you?"
"Well, you say that, but it is over four minutes since we sat at this table, and some would consider that a considerable delay in proceedings."
"Indeed, they might, I would not however."
"Ah, I see."
"I will, however, accept your offer for dinner, we will however share the bill."
"Okay, not my usual position, if I invite, I pay, usually."
"Nothing here is usual."
"Okay, where would you like to meet, what food do you like?"
"Pretty much anything, I live in Shipley, somewhere that way?" Not too far from me then, good.
"Okay, how about the Pepper Mill?" I suggested.
"You know it?"
"I have been a few times, and it has always been okay. How about I buy the food, and you chose a bottle of wine?"
"Okay, seems fair, how far is that from you?"
"Not far, I live in Cottingley, so, I usually go to Bingley, but often Shipley too."
"What time?"
"How about I meet you there at seven, outside unless it is raining, otherwise inside if it is."
"Okay, that works." She had finished her macchiato, 'I must get off now, see you later."
"Indeed." I stood as she left and then sat down again, and I finished my mocha. Interesting, strange how the world turns sometimes.
I left the coffee bar and headed to the carpark to get my car and drive home. The weather was iffy, sort of raining and sort of not. It was wet in the air, so I got almost as wet walking back to the car as I would have had it been actually raining. But I felt good and a bit of wet didn't bother me.
Back home I turned on the espresso machine, ground some beans and sat at my laptop for an hour, just doing client work. I closed the laptop and went up to my room, opened the window for some air, tidied the bed and stripped off. Todays shirt and underpants went in the laundry, I went in the shower.
I had the shower on full rain shower mode, absolutely coming down on me, it was drenching. I stepped back and rubbed gel in everywhere, arse, crotch, pits, the lot, and then back under the water to sluice it all away.
I shaved, and then I shaved again, and then I smothered my face in moisturiser to ensure no razor burn. I went down and made another espresso and did myself a piece of toast, I didn't want to turn up with a rumbling stomach.
I sat and ate my toast and then took my coffee back upstairs whilst I decided what to wear. I decided on grey slacks, white cotton oxford shirt, and then a green jacket. Made sure that there were hankies in the pockets, just in case.
Back in the bathroom I checked my face, no overt shininess from the moisturiser, no blotchiness from the shaving. I deodorised and sprayed Issey Miyake aftershave and then drank the last of my coffee and started to get dressed. First plain grey socks, silk boxers, my shirt, then my slacks and a belt, and then my jacket. I looked in the mirror. Perfect.
I checked my wallet, cash, cards, condom in the discrete pouch, some one pound and two-pound coins. Phone was charged; everything was as it should be. I booked an Uber and waited a few minutes for it to arrive. It dropped me off outside the Pepper Pot at a couple of minutes before seven.
Lola arrived in the next Uber, excellent timing. She got out of the car and was wearing a sublime dark mid-length cocktail dress, heels and a clutch style handbag. She looked pretty stunning.
"Well, good evening, may I say that you look pretty darn stunning." Well, I had to gush a bit.
"Thank you, shall we go in?"
"Yes of course."
There were a few free tables available. I explained to the greeter that I had booked, gave her my name and she asked if we had a preference to where we sat.
"Where would you like to sit?" I asked Lola.
"That one over there looks good, it isn't by the door, the toilets or the kitchen."
"Okay."
We walked over and I held her chair for her as she sat, I then sat down, and the greeter handed us menus. The menu looked pretty varied, I just hoped that she wasn't vegan, the vegetarian or vegan choice was a bit limited.
"Would you like a drink whilst you peruse the menus," the greeter asked.
"Glass of Chardonnay please," Lola said, and I said I would have the same. Well, why not, it would go with most things.
The greeter bustled away and I could see her talking to one of the barmen, presumably giving our drink order.
"Not bad looking menu Lola, anything catch your eye?" I asked.
"I fancy the potted crab to start, and then possibly the cod."
"Okay, I am thinking the salad starter and the pork main."
"Okay."