"Hi, Gail, how're things going? Are you ready for a hard night of cracking the books? The mock trials are late next week. Aren't you looking forward to them," I chirped, knowing that my cheerful tone would invoke a sharp retort from my surly law study group member?
"Ah, fuck you, Stan," was Gail's grumbling response. "You know I'd rather be down at the watering hole with a beer in my hand, drinking myself silly, and flirting with all of the available guys. Who knows? Maybe I might find some lucky fellah who appreciates well-rounded women and what we can do to men between our blubbery folds. God, Lori, our third amigo, would say that sounds so disgusting if she were here."
The three Asian students of the class had been a team since we started law school last year, complementing each other strengths while covering any apparent weakness. Gail was the "Mouth" or the team member who could argue quite effectively our position. I was the "Eyes" or guy who researched and shifted out the pertinent points of law and legal precedents. Lori was clearly the "Brains" who not only took what I found but formulated our team's case strategy and Gail's arguments.
Lori was also the "mom" who settled arguments, kept us on track, and held us together. This may have been because Lori was older and seemed more mature than Gail and me. An attractive Japanese-American woman, she was from a well-known and wealthy family, a product of the high-class prep schools and an elite college, and married to some high-priced architect. Her entrance to law school wasn't to gain a career but more a matter of pursuing some personal dream.
Gail was single and at twenty-two, was sharp, quick-witted, brash - the epitome of an extrovert. From a middle-class Japanese-American family, she breezed through college without even blinking an eye, aced the entrance exam, and was easily accepted into law school. However, she still had that college-mentality of partying hard and casual sex. This made her the kid of the group and at times, Gail acted like one.
As for me, I am a single, twenty-nine guy who was the son of the proverbial Chinese cook. Much to the angst of my mother, my dad calmly let me kick around in life, learning things from the school of hard knocks. Then, when I was ready, he put me through college and law school so that I could become a lawyer and constructively put my hard-earned street experience to use.
Although Lori was eight years older than me and wasn't the prettiest classmate around, I found myself inexplicably drawn to her from the moment we met. Standing at five-seven, Lori had a spoon-shaped body with long nicely formed legs, generous but not too wide hips, and rounded buns. With a trim waist, she would have been a perfect full-figured woman except that her breasts were modest mounds that were enough to be noticed but not enough to be eye-catching. Still, the more time I spent with Lori, the more attracted to her I became. If she hadn't been married and seemingly settled, I would have undoubtedly made a fool out of myself by asking Lori out.
"So, where's Lori? It's not like her to be late," I uttered as I emerged from my self-induced fantasy.
"Hello, dufus! You've got to get your head out of the books," Gail jabbed at me jokingly. "When Lori came back from Winter Break, she returned with Jimmy. No, Jimmy's not her husband, but some kind of 'calabash' cousin. He's a really cute tall eighteen-year-old but has some challenges due to some early childhood accident. It's convoluted and Lori doesn't help by being extremely vague and evasive. She feels somehow responsible for Jimmy, and it makes me wonder.
"Anyway - Lori somehow used her family's name and powers of persuasion to arrange for Jimmy to be a 'volunteer' janitor with a place in the dorm basement next that creepy dorm manager, Arty. While the college let Jimmy stay, it wouldn't provide for his food or assist living services. I think Lori's trying to work out some sort of arrangement with Arty - paying him or something to look out for Jimmy. She said that she might be a tad late because she had to meet with Arty."
I was about to ask more of Gail when in rushed Lori. I immediately noticed that Lori who was usually the epitome of calm, cool, and collect, seemed flustered and out of breath. "Sorry to be late, people, but that bastard of a dorm manager gave me a hard time."
It was then I noticed her face had a light sheen of perspiration to which her ebony hair clung. While at first dismissing it to her hurrying to meet us, Lori who was normally impeccably dressed, looked somehow disheveled by her standards. Her blouse was wrinkle as if she had slept in it (as I often do my shirts), her belt was askew, and the knees of her dark loose capris were dusty. Simply put, Lori looked like she had a 'workout' before joining us.
Any further thoughts, however, were soon swept away as we began our planning session. Yet, throughout the ensuing session, I felt that Lori struggled to stay in the role as our de facto leader. It was as if her mind was someplace else and she continuously had to refocus to get the job done. After a grueling three hours of arguing, cajoling and compromising, we had worked out a sound case strategy that we were confident was a winner. We agreed to think about our plan overnight and then meet again the following night to polish any rough spots.
Gail immediately said she needed a drink and asked us to join her. However, when Lori and I declined, our rotund orator promptly said, "Okay, I fly solo tonight in the dives of College Town, trolling for drinks and horny bastards. I know this guy at the Dead Goose who is always up - better than can't get it up - for a roll in the hay with a fat easy bitch. God, how I love one-night stands. They give good reason to practice my oral skills. You two be good, and Lori, say hello to that cutie, Jimmy, for me." With that Gail vanished, leaving Lori and me alone.
"Gail will be Gail," I chuckled as I put away my notes. When Lori didn't say goodbye and leave, I said, "Hey, Lori, are you okay? You were out of it tonight like you were someplace else. If you're up to it, I know this little sushi bar - a real hole in the wall, but the fish is fresh, the spirits are mellow, and most of all, it's a layback place to talk. I'd understand if you don't want to...say what? You could use a drink? Well, my lady, let's jump on my moped and I shall squire you away."
Half an hour later, Lori took a deep sip from her cold sake. We had dispensed with the usual pleasantries when I asked if her troubles were due to Jimmy. Lori sighed, "Stan, you truly are the 'Eyes' of our group, seeing things that others don't see or overlook," Lori whispered. "Yes, it's been chaotic since Jimmy returned to me. What exactly do you know about Jimmy?"
I just repeated what little I had been told and Lori let out a deep sigh before saying, "I'm sure that Gail, the big mouth, has told you that Jimmy has some issues but he's not impaired or disabled. He can do many things by himself but he's unsure of himself in unfamiliar situations and with strange people. I would feel more comfortable if he had some guidance until he gets adjusted but that's something that I can't provide right now."
Lori took a deep sip as if mulling something around in her head. and then took another drink. "Stan, have you ever," Lori finally uttered, "done something that you regretted immediately after you did it?"
I was taken aback by Lori's question and didn't know if it was hypothetical or real-life. I could, however, see that she was on the verge of disclosing something significant. "Well, I've done some pretty stupid things in my life," I said reflectively into my beer bottle, "but nothing that I've regretted that badly. But I can imagine that a spur of the moment, an error in judgment can have unforeseen consequences."
When I look up, I saw a tear rolling down Lori's cheek in the dim light of the lounge. I reached out to touch her shoulder to see if she was alright and was surprised when Lori turned into my embrace, sobbing softly. I held her gently while I rubbed her back and just letting her cry herself out.
"Stan, since we met, you've been a good friend. Can I trust you with my darkest secrets? I can? You promise not to tell anyone? Okay, hmmm, you know that I come from a family that loves being in the public limelight but hates anything that might tarnish it gleaming image. Jimmy is one such family scandal and I am the cause."
Then taking a sip of her nearly empty sake cup and then letting out a deep breath, Lori continued. "When I was eighteen, I was a willful teen who wouldn't listen to my mother. I was so clueless that I didn't realize that I was Asian like my mother while my older siblings were Eurasians. This difference became painfully apparent when one night my loving brother and my two male cousins lead a group of their friends in repeatedly gang-raping a helpless and nearly unconscious me.
When I expressed my surprise about what she had disclosed, Lori sighed and then softly whispered, "Stan, among the families of the filthy rich there are a lot of secrets and scandals. Some families are into drugs or booze, and others are into marital swapping or extramarital affairs. A few, like mine, are into...a unique perversity."
Lori took a deep sip from her sake that had just arrived before saying, "Stan, my family was and is still into incest. My white father made no bones about humping my married aunt, his own sister, since they were kids and probably sired my two cousins...yes, the same cousins who with my brother raped me. What I didn't know was that he couldn't accept that he had been cuckolded by another man when I turned out not to have Eurasian features. My father hated me because he knew my mother had cheated on him and that I wasn't his.
"Still, you would think that my father would be upset when he learned that I had been gang-raped. He, however, was more concerned that the sons of many rich families would be named and result in a public scandal, unwanted police investigations, and bad media coverage. So, despite my mother's protest, he asserted that the incident was my fault and that I got what I deserved. I cannot begin to tell you the damning effect that this had on an already traumatized teenager.
