Hey Babe!
Full disclosure - this is the first time I got hung up within a story.
I reached out to one Editor on the list provided by the website and received enlightening, high level advice re: prepping before beginning a story.
However, I was still stuck.
So, I reached out to a frequent commentator on this site whose comments on other sibling stories I value, sent my story to this individual and received some very much appreciated feedback and..TA-DA!!
....ever see the old comedy 'Throw Momma from the Train'?
'The night was humid? hot? moist? sultry..'
All over 18
He liked to fuck 'em in the bathroom. 'Cause that is where the cameras were not. He marketed houses, mansions, townhomes, condos, duplexes, etc and he dealt with a lot of ladies. He knew every story ie divorce, newlywed, separation, fiancee, downsizing, vacation homes, new job transfers, job loss, moving closer to family, getting away from family, all of which he heard when they were panting and clinging to the sink. This lifestyle however was starting to get tiresome. He had recently passed his broker license exam and earned the title of Real Estate Broker. The risk of losing everything if he got caught screwing around had increased. His family owned a Real Estate Agency for which he worked. As the youngest child he knew in order to gain respect he needed to strike out on his own. He was bored with lunches three times a week with his boss sister, Rebecca.
He proudly put together a proposal for a new office in the southern part of the state. After almost twelve months it was rejected so he conceded and selected a more modest site for the office. He contacted a local real estate agent in the new area who as it turned out looked much older in person than her online photo. In addition, she had four kids he learned eventually. The two of them met at his hotel one morning. When he formerly introduced himself, she smiled and acknowledged she already recognized his last name. She told him when he was ready to hire real estate agents to please consider her.
Six months later
He was at lunch with clients when he got a message that his older sister, Rebecca, was unexpectedly in his new office and wanted to meet with him. For months he had been ignoring her phone calls and messages. He reached out to his girlfriend, Elaine, to tell her they would be having dinner with his sister in the evening. He knew his sister was snooping around the office. She had to be already very aware of his success. When he returned his sister's call the conversation was brief and she agreed to meet him and Elaine at a local restaurant. He and Elaine were sitting at the bar when she arrived. He had an opportunity to observe her before she saw them. It was impossible to tell she was nine years older than him. She was immaculate. He noticed she immediately drew attention from other people in the restaurant. On one hand he loved having a good looking sister but it irritated him as well. She was the apple of their father's eye. He was jealous. He was glad he invited Elaine as a buffer. It was a polite dinner full of small talk. He and his sister agreed he would pick her up at her hotel in the morning to introduce her to the city.
He called her that morning at the designated time and she told him she wasn't ready. His eyebrows immediately were raised. She told him to come up to her suite. Now, he was truly surprised. Never had he known her to not be timely. He parked his vehicle and when he got to her room, he knocked on the door and waited. He did not recognize the creature that opened the door. Her hair was not styled, she didn't have on any make-up, and she was in jeans and a t-shirt. He absolutely did not know what to do. Their relationship was not typical in the way a brother growing up might see his sister in various forms of undress or without make-up on the weekends. There were so many years between them. This was his second surprise of the morning in less than two hours. He stood at the door and stared at her. She invited him in. He removed his jacket and sat at the small conference table. She offered him a muffin and some coffee delivered earlier from the cafe in the hotel. She sat down across from him and sipped on her apple juice. The competitive vibe was humming between them.
"Zachery, when are you coming back?" she wanted to know. It immediately made him defensive.
"I'm not," he glared at her. What the hell he thought. Why was she asking him that?