Tobias didn't know how it happened. Perhaps it started when they moved into Captain Dave's house. The grizzled man was also a humble one, owning only a small cottage with an extra spare room. So naturally, Tobias and his sister were forced to share a room. But as these things go, the siblings were used to having their own rooms, their personal spaces to work and sleep. It was a nightmare at first, each sibling taking turns to wake the other when they fell asleep. Tobias often arrived to class late, eyes half-shut. It was a bad look.
As the years went by, they settled. It was either that or live on the roadside. And for the first time too, too long, Tobias finally got a good night's rest. But the problem with getting familiar is getting too familiar. It started late one night, shortly after he turned nineteen. Emma was fast asleep, but her brother was not. He laid there, thinking. He found himself staring at his sister, at her long, luscious rose-blonde hair, at her smooth, slightly freckled skin, at her plump, pink lips, her soft breathing. He stared, and then sat upright in horror. What was wrong with him? He was looking at his sister as though she was his girlfriend, or worse.
Yet once lust has awakened, it cannot be extinguished the way a fire is doused. It burns and burns and Tobias found himself thinking thoughts that made him curl up with self-disgust. He fantasized, which was normal for him, but this time his sister was one of the many girls pleasuring him. It was all too much and Tobias didn't know what to do. Bringing the topic up with anyone was a death sentence; he would never hear the end of it. He was trapped, caged in the consequences of his own desire.
It came to a spectacular climax late one night. He had a meal of cheesy macaroni, his favourite, followed by a huge serving of walnut ice-cream. But rice was usually what Dave cooked, and he asked the captain in surprise. 'You'll need it,' the captain said. 'Big week ahead.'
But Tobias didn't understand what he meant. That night, saying goodnight to his sister, he switched off the light in their bedroom -- because was no longer the 'guest bedroom' -- when Emma had drifted into sleep. She often liked to sleep naked, and tonight was no exception. Often Tobias would be forced to avert his eyes when she was dressing each morning, and he did it out of respect for her privacy. Again, he found himself staring at his sister from across the room. And whether it be some stroke of ill fate or good luck, Emma turned in her bed, pulling the blanket up around her, exposing her buttocks. Tobias was embarrassed, quickly squeezing his eyes shut. But he couldn't resist taking just a quick peek, so he opened his eyes.
It really was everything his fantasises had granted him, and more. She was perfect. Her smooth, white skin gently matched the curve of her buttocks, pale and slightly rounded. He could imagine that skin next to his, touching, making the forbidden contact. And Tobias found his member growing in size, inflated by the lust that filled him. In the moment, he couldn't stop himself. He gripped his member with his trusty right hand, rubbing up and down in a rhythmic motion, all the while gazing longingly at his sister's cheeks. Within moments, he felt the climax rising, his breaths coming rapidly. He knew he should have stopped, should have gotten a tissue or something, but it was as though he was in a trance. He stroked faster and harder, desperate, lost in the throes of ecstasy, until with a muffled grunt he released his seed all over the blankets.
When the post-climax clarity hit, Tobias was completely mortified. He had just masturbated to his very own sister. The one girl who had been his best friend, loving and forgiving. He hated himself. He wanted to grab a belt and dangle himself by the neck. He couldn't believe how in such a short time he had evolved into a monster. A monster that wanted to have sex with his sibling. And as he stared at the semen-soaked sheets, he realized there was no hiding what he had done. But still he tried, gathering up his blankets and throwing them into a laundry basket. Tomorrow was washing day, and he hoped upon hope it wouldn't draw any curious glances. At long last, he fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.
*****
It was early next morning, and Tobias had mostly tried to forget the memories of the night before. He clambered out of bed, stretching, welcoming in the new day. Only then did he notice that Emma's bed was bare. He knew, without a doubt, that his sister had seen his blankets when she added her own to the pile. Tobias was screwed, quite literally. Even if she hadn't seen him last night, she must've pieced together that he masturbated in a room with her. His sister must think he was a sick pervert, he reckoned.
Just then, Emma walked out of the laundry room, and Tobias tried to act casual, saying his customary greeting. 'Sup,' he tried. His sister simply looked at him and nodded, a knowing smile creasing her perfect face. It was settled then. His relationship with his sister was over. So many years of friendship, of talking and hanging out had come to a messy end. He sighed, glad he had organised a day out with his friends. It sure would take his mind off the matter.
So as the day came and went, and after so many spins on the playground that it made him green in the face, he arrived back at the cottage on top of the hill. He felt a sinking feeling in his gut, and dreaded going in again. He gathered his resolve, promising to eat and shower and go straight to bed, not saying a word. He pushed open the door, trudging down the hallway, and the scent of cheesy macaroni hung in the air. 'No way,' he muttered. The captain would never make the same meal twice. There was something strange afoot. But not as strange as his romantic life, he reasoned.
'Alright. I wasn't sure you'd need it, but I am now,' Dave said with a wink, setting down a bowl of steaming pasta.
Tobias still didn't get it, but he was too tired to ask. Being swung around and around on a playground was not good for the stamina. He gulped the food down, scorching his throat, but he didn't care. He didn't want to meet his sister's eyes. Tobias just wanted to curl up in bed and... and what then? Feeling put off his meal, he shuffled along the hallway, undressed, and climbed straight into bed without another word. Turning in his bed, he shifted along to face the wall. Then he felt something nudging his ribs. It felt rough, rubbing his skin. He reached a hand under and pulled it out, flicking on the lights. It was a pair of Emma's underwear.
He looked at his sister's panties, evidently worn for a long while. Tobias knew what he had to do, and he hated himself for it. His sexual side demanded that he did the deed with this once-in-a-lifetime chance, and it completely drowned out what little good was left in him. He grabbed the underwear with his left hand, raising it to his face, breathing in its aromas. He sighed. He could almost imagine Emma was on top of him, begging him to smother his face inside her. Another erection sprung forth, and this time he didn't try to hide it.
He rubbed furiously, aroused by the scent of his sister, the way her body smelt like flowers even though she never used perfume. And within moments Tobias was getting close, tiptoeing over to the bathroom and in a final leg-quaking orgasm spewed at least a quarter litre of juice into the sink. Sighing, he cleaned up, throwing the panties into the wash. He blocked out a small voice telling him to keep it 'for future', feeling guilt and shame, even more intense than the night before. It was well and truly time to sleep.
*****
The next few weeks went by in a blur, and Tobias found little time to mull over his actions. Exam after exam piled on him. It cramped his writing hand and crammed his mind with so much information he swore his head would just pop like a balloon. His lust had all but disappeared, channelled into sitting hours at a desk, pen and paper in hand. And these days, Tobias found he fell into deep sleep the moment he hit his pillow. There was no looking at his sister, no sporadic masturbation. Perhaps it was a change for the better, he reckoned. He had scraped too close to the edge, overstepped the boundary that existed between siblings.
The awkward tension between him and Emma was gone, and in its place was the well-meaning friendship he so desperately missed. It was going well, all things considered. That is, until the morning of his sister's birthday. The night before, Dave had beeped their pager, saying there was a roadblock, and he wouldn't be back for at least two days. Of course, his sister had been annoyed that her favourite captain would miss her nineteenth birthday, but Dave had messaged 'I would give anything to be back for my sweetie's special day,' and that seemed to shut her up. So Tobias had retired to bed early, excited that the next day was the weekend. Little did he know just the misadventures that waited for him...
*****
Tobias opened his eyes, yawning, feeling the warm sun on his skin. He wanted to sleep in, to rest after weeks of in-school torture. But he was met with the shock of his life when his sister leapt out of bed and wrapped him in a huge hug, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. 'Do you remember what day it is?' she said excitedly, bouncing up and down. Tobias groaned, not even fully awake yet.
'Um, it's... Saturday?' he replied, wanting the warm sheets to claim him into their folds.
'No, you nitwit,' Emma scolded. 'It's my birthday. My nineteenth. You know what that means!'