Vicki knew she had made some bad choices in her life. Now she was determined to help her daughter, Sara, avoid some of those mistakes.
Vicki's path through life was an unusual one. Back in high school she fell in with the wrong crowd and got involved with drugs and alcohol. She ended up dropping out of school during her senior year and getting pregnant almost immediately afterwards. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who was fairly soon thereafter taken away when she was arrested for her drug habit.
With her parents' counseling she eventually gave up custody of Jon. Vicki's aunt officially adopted Jon and the day he left was undoubtedly the hardest in her life up to that point.
Partly due to the trauma of that moment Vicki made the decision to change her lifestyle for good. She moved back in with her parents and entered a treatment program. After several months and lots of hard times she was able to stay clean and sober for the longest period since she started down the wrong path.
She went back to finish her high school degree and soon started looking for a job. Unfortunately, she had no luck finding anything, as nobody was interested in hiring a 19-year-old mother with a felony drug record. She was at the end of her rope when she saw an ad for open auditions for dancers at one of the strip clubs in town.
She remembered some of the women she had met in rehab who had talked about how much money could be made by stripping. She also remembered how those women talked about how all the other dancers were high or drunk most of the time. She debated for a couple of days about what to do, but after being rejected for yet another job she knew she was qualified for she didn't know what else to do and decided to try it.
She drove to the club during the hours listed for auditions, but when she arrived she sat in her car wracked with nerves for several long minutes. If she hadn't been so desperate for money she would surely have started the engine and driven away. Instead, she took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm her nerves and walked slowly toward the door of the club.
She wasn't sure how comfortable she was with the idea of stripping even as she walked inside the quiet club. She never really thought of herself as beautiful but she always had a constant stream of guys wanting to date her. Part of her feared they would turn her away for not being pretty enough, but the woman behind the bar welcomed her warmly and asked if she was there to audition.
"Um, yes," Vicki said nervously.
"Let me call Rick," the woman said with a smile. She disappeared into the back and Vicki looked around the club. It was about what she expected. It was small and reeked of stale beer and cigarette smoke. There were no windows and the lighting was so dark that it gave the place the feel of night despite it being just before noon. The club wouldn't open for business for about another hour.
"Hmmm, very nice," Rick said even before saying hello. It was a lecherous comment but still made Vicki feel a little more comfortable. "Hi, I'm Rick. I'm the owner," he said extending his hand.
"I'm Vicki," she answered.
"Have you ever danced before?" Rick asked.
"No," she answered.
"Well, Vicki," he began, "there isn't anything to be nervous about. Right now it is just you and me. I'll sit way in the back so you can't even see me. I'll play a song and you just get on the stage and do what comes naturally."
He seemed to sense Vicki's hesitation and reassured her. Rick was used to the newcomers being nervous so he went into his routine speech. He told her that when the club was open there were always at least two bouncers working. Any guy that touched her or made her feel uncomfortable would be immediately ejected with no questions asked.
"Do you have a certain song you'd like?" he concluded.
Vicki requested a popular dance song that had a good beat and always made her feel a little horny for some reason. She climbed on the stage as Rick searched through the CD collection at the DJ's booth.
"Ready?" he asked after he cued up the song.
Vicki nodded her head and the music started. At first she moved very tentatively and was sure she looked awful. She tried not to think too much about what she was doing. She stared off into the empty darkness as she removed her clothes and danced around the stage. She felt completely awkward and was sure she looked very silly.
When the song ended she stood naked on the stage and self-consciously covered herself. "No, no, don't be shy," Rick said. Vicki prepared herself for the rejection that she was sure would follow and was surprised when he said, "That was great. When can you start?"
"Really?" she replied. "It felt so weird and awkward."
"You'll get over that," Rick said. "Everyone is nervous to start with."
Rick explained that her pay would be based entirely on her tips. She would keep all tips and the house would keep all the cover charges and the beer and food profits. She didn't see any way this job would work out to be as lucrative as the others made it sound. Rick suggested she start on an afternoon shift as the crowds would probably be smaller and it would give her time to get more comfortable. Vicki agreed and they set a start date.
Vicki was terrified on the drive home and for the next few days. How could she have agreed to work as a stripper? She made a few last ditch calls to find another job before her first scheduled shift at the club, but they didn't lead to anything.
She toyed with the idea of simply not showing up for her shift and forgetting the whole thing. However, she also knew that getting a job and making some money was the key to the next step of her life. She needed to be independent enough to move out of her parent's house and ultimately try to get Jon back. Stripping wasn't a long-term solution, but she thought it could be a temporary way to provide some income while she continued looking for a "real" job.
Her heart raced and her stomach twisted into knots as she drove to the club for her first shift. She sat, terrified, in the parking lot for several long minutes before she gathered the courage to go inside. She told herself that this was just another test on her road to recovery and she had to be strong, but she was still more nervous than she ever had been when she pushed the door open.
The club looked exactly the same as when she had auditioned. Rick greeted her with a smile and showed her around. He ended his tour in the dancer's dressing room and gave her a quick introduction to the other dancer who was there getting dressed. She was, in Vicki's opinion, really beautiful and probably at least several years older. Right away Vicki's doubts about her being "hot" enough to do this surfaced and she felt a fresh wave of nerves.
Shortly after Rick left the third dancer scheduled to work arrived. She seemed to be the same age as Vicki and made a comment about working her way through college dancing. She seemed very average looking and this helped calm Vicki and made her feel like she could actually do this.
Both of the other dancers were nice and tried to comfort her. Most importantly, they both seemed "normal" and didn't appear to be strung out on drugs or drunk.
Despite the efforts of the other two dancers, Vicki was so nervous she almost threw up before her turn on stage. As the other two took their turns on stage Vicki stared at herself in the mirror and thought about running away, getting in her car, and driving home.
Before she could move one of the other dancers returned to the dressing room. She was completely naked and held a few dollar bills and the dress she had worn when she left to take her turn on stage. "You're up," she said to Vicki. "You can do it. You'll be great."
The first time Vicki stepped through the curtain and onto the stage she was terrified. She secretly hoped that the club would be empty but instead found two guys sitting at the counter next to the stage and a few others lingering at dark tables further back.
She remembered all the advice the other dancers and Rick had given her and somehow she managed to get through her three-song set. The whole time she felt completely silly and awkward and was afraid that at any moment the guys would get up and leave.
Instead, they remained still and watched her whole set. She kept her spot in the rotation the rest of her shift and slipped into the back of the room to watch the other women dance. By the time her shift was over she was completely exhausted from the physical efforts of dancing and the mental strain of being so nervous.