I Miss You During the Commercials

Author's note: All characters are eighteen years or older. This is a work of fiction. Don't expect realism, and you won't be disappointed when you don't find it! Enjoy!

*****

It was beautiful. It was heart-wrenching. It was perfect. The inevitability of the situation, the empathy built in time, the identification grown out of so many little and not so little things.

Ben tried to resist it at first. But why, he wondered, why resist something so beautiful, so perfect? It was ultimately inevitable, after all. And so he let go. His chest felt tight, his breaths came short and labored but the tension seemed to diminish as soon as the tears started flowing.

He could barely see, the image too distorted and watery. But he didn't need to.

"It's incredible, Ben... It's just... So amazing..."

"Yeah, Kat, it really is..."

Ben felt the warm softness of his little sister's body press harder into his side. She was sitting beside him on the couch, her legs tucked under her. Her head resting on his shoulder, Kat was sniffling and crying softly while they cuddled in front of the tv, watching Walter White die, wide-eyed and alone, misjudged and misunderstood.

As My Baby Blue played in the background and the camera slowly zoomed out, Ben wrapped his arm tighter around his sister. He drew her in closer, eliciting a contented purr from her.

"This scene gets to me every time I see it... It's so powerful..."

"I know..." Kat said, turning her face up to look into her big brother's pale blue eyes. "Remember the first time we watched it?"

Ben smiled. "How could I forget it... I was bawling like a three year old..."

"So was I..." she whispered. Her tiny hands went to her face then to her brother's, wiping away their tears. Her soft fingers lingered on Ben's cheeks and jaw, tracing the sharp lines of his handsome visage. "It was beautiful though, and it was great watching it together. Like now... Like every other time, actually... I've always loved watching movies and shows with you, Ben..."

Looking into Kat's pretty face, taking in the upturned corners of her full lips and the light of intelligence brightening her smoky gray eyes piercing into his, Ben felt a wave of affection warming him. He smiled faintly, deeply glad that he was here. With her. Doing what they had always loved doing the most. "Yeah, I love it too..." he said eventually. After a moment, he added: "It's so good being together again, Kat... I really missed you, you know..."

Kat laughed, playing it cool. Still, she couldn't help but feel flushed and go all fluffy inside as she heard her brother's honest admission. "It's been just a few months!... Is college really that bad?"

"No, not bad... Just... Lonely sometimes... Well, there's plenty of people around, but..." he shook his head, giving up on trying to say it. He just smiled at his sister, recognizing that adoring stare as she looked up at him. He saw love there, as always. Clear and strong. True.

Kat rested her head on Ben's chest, her rosy cheek brushing against his T-shirt. Her lips were slightly parted, her body snuggled into his, her arms embracing him. He sank his face in her lush brown hair, the same shade as his own. Inhaling her unique scent, he kissed her head. He hoped she knew he loved her. He believed she did.

"I just really missed you, Kitty Kat... And I'm sorry I wasn't here for your birthday, eighteen is kind of a big deal..."

"Aww, Ben..." Kat cooed. "Forget about that, it's not that big a deal anyways..." she said, shrugging her shoulders. She wrapped her arms tighter around him, shifting so she could nuzzle his face and give him a peck on the nose.

The credits of Breaking Bad's final episode had rolled away. The static brightness of the tv screen and the soft, warm glow of a lamp were the only lights in the room as Ben and Kat hugged and talked into the night.

Softly, quietly, cuddling on the couch in the semi darkness of the den, the siblings caught up and joked and reconnected. Not much had happened to either of them since Ben had left for college and hardly a day had passed without them video-chatting or texting, but this was different. The last couple of days had been all about family time and Christmas stuff and visiting relatives. This was the first night they had to themselves. Of course, they had chosen to binge-watch again their favorite episodes of their favorite show ever.

As they talked, the topic of boyfriends and girlfriends unavoidably came up. Ben chuckled as he answered Kat's blunt questions, saying that no, no co-ed slut had tried to seduce him yet and definitely no, he hadn't been to any frat party culminating in a sorority pledge initiation gangbang.

Kat giggled. "Well, that's good to hear. Stupid internet porn got me worried!..." she said, her relief palpable beneath her playfulness.

Ben hurried to ask her about her own love life. He didn't really want to hear about some stupid high school dude hitting on his little sis, but discussing the details of Kat's experience with porn could be dangerous. It might lead to the hows and whys of his own porn browsing habits.

He was immensely glad to hear that Kat had no boyfriend, but he got thoughtful as he felt her mood shift. He was caressing her soft brown hair as he watched her brow furrow, lines of worry marring her clear, expressive face. Sighing, she mumbled that the guys at school were all jerks, only interested in her because of her big boobs.

Ben felt a pang of jealousy picturing someone putting his hands on Kat. Then came a weird mix of hope, excitement and elation at the thought that his Kitty Kat was still his. Then came doubt. He shouldn't be so possessive of his sister. He should let her choose who she wanted to be with, without being so emotionally involved in her decisions. Shouldn't he?

He was so caught up sifting through this surge of conflicting emotions that he barely heard Kat asking him about his ex, his high school sweetheart whom he hadn't seen nor heard from since the day after graduation, when she had dumped him. So much for promises of everlasting love.

"Don't you miss her?" Kat asked, cocking an eyebrow while Ben shook his head no in a most definite manner. "Well, at least do you miss IT? Don't you miss, you know... Sex and stuff?"

"Uhm, well, I mean..." Ben stammered, feeling flustered all of a sudden, yet tickled by the turn the conversation had taken. "If you put it that way... Yeah... I guess... Yes, I do miss it..."

"I would miss it, too..." Kat said, dreamily. She rested her head on the hollow of his shoulder, her cheek pressing into her brother's chin. "Well, not with her of course..." she chuckled, her heavy boobs jiggling under her loose pajama top. "I would miss sex... I miss it already, except that, well..."

There was a long silence.

Kat sat back straighter, suddenly tense. Her head was level with Ben's but she kept her gaze down. She was biting her lips. Her breasts swayed under her top, rising and falling in time with her quick, uneasy breaths.

Ben felt his pulse quicken and his mouth go dry. He considered grabbing the remote and changing the channel or starting the episode again, anything to break the tension. He swallowed the lump in his throat instead, then he squeezed his sister's shoulder, hoping she'd look at him. She didn't.

"Kat... You mean you haven't... You never..." he mumbled breathlessly. He felt suddenly nervous. Excited. He exhaled deeply when he saw Kat shake her head no. His heart was pounding and he felt a stirring in his crotch. "So you're a vir..."

"Yes! Yes I am, Ben! I'm a virgin, okay? I've never even seen a guy naked, except in pornos..."

Her sudden outburst hit him like a physical thing. He almost pulled back his arm from around her shoulder, but then he saw that she was shivering. He kept holding her. Her face was still down-turned. Long brown locks had escaped her scrunchie, hiding her expression. Ben understood how vulnerable she must feel right now. He could see her lips quivering, and he knew she was about to cry.

"Kat, no, don't..." he said. His instinct kicked in and he leaned over, taking her in his arms, bringing her closer until she was hugging him back. "I'm sorry, Kitty Kat, I didn't mean to upset you..."

Kat sniffled but she immediately relaxed as she pressed herself into her brother. She held tight to him, her pillowy tits squashed against his chest.

Whimpering, Kat shifted and settled on Ben's lap, facing him, her legs distended sideways on the couch, her arms circling his neck, her head resting in the hollow of his shoulder. He held her in his embrace, gently running his hands along her spine. His cheek brushed against her fragrant hair as he murmured soothingly into her ear, softly kissing the side of her head.

Ben couldn't see her face, but he knew she was getting calmer. Her sudden change of mood and his own instant reaction to make her feel better had come so fast that he realized only as an afterthought that now, with her sitting on his lap, Kat's butt was pressing down on the bulge in his pants.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Ben... It's just... I'm so frustrated and it's tough being... All the other girls make it look so easy, they just get a boyfriend and... And I have my stupid dildo and my crazy fantasies about..." Kat's voice trailed off. She shook her head, stopping for a second, before adding: "Plus, they all look better than me..."

Kat sighed and quickly straightened up, looking her brother in the eye. Their noses were almost touching. "It's because I'm fat, isn't it?..."

Ben's eyes widened in shock. It wasn't just the sudden closeness of Kat's face, but also the deep, real pain he saw in her eyes. "What?! Kat, are you insane?"

"No," she whispered, looking at him sadly. "I'm just fat. Look at me, Ben, I'm all... Round and squishy and bulging all over the place..."

As she spoke, Kat looked herself over critically, nodding dejectedly toward her plump butt pressed on her brother's thighs and her huge breasts squashed between the two of them. Then she looked down with a sigh, shaking her head.

"Kat, really, what is wrong with you!?" Ben said, almost angrily. He shook her lightly, trying to make her look at him. "You're beautiful! How can you not know that?!"

She shrugged. "You're just saying it because you have to. You're my big brother..."

Ben was aghast. He knew that girls got weird when it came to their looks, but he never would have thought his sweet Kat might suffer from this sort of insecurities. Not with her body. Not when he thought she was the most incredible girl in the world. A girl that could make him very horny.

"No, Kat, I'm saying it because it's true. And yes, I am your big brother, and you know I wouldn't lie to you. I never did, right?"

As Ben caught his breath, trying to compose himself, Kat turned her head his way. Her eyebrows were furrowed. She still seemed doubtful, but at least she was looking at him and listening to him.

"Seriously, Kitty Kat, don't feel bad... And stop selling yourself short already, you're so amazing, sis... So fun and smart and cool to be around... And your body is perfect, can't you see? You're real, and womanly, and so much better than all the brain-dead plastic dolls and skinny self-obsessed bitches in the world..."

He stopped and breathed. He was so caught up in his tirade that he didn't even worry about how firmly his erection was poking into his sister's warm, meaty buttock. The thought of repositioning himself or asking Kat to climb off him was fleeting and automatically discarded. This was more important. Kat needed to know. She had to feel as beautiful as she was in his eyes.

"Kat, you're gorgeous. Please, please, believe me!... You look like the actress that plays Joan in Mad Men, voluptuous and curvy and hot as hell..." he paused. He was surprised to see where he was going, now that he had let his words flow. Maybe not so surprising after all, he had to admit. Then he smiled. "But I like your hair color better than hers..."

Kat giggled, reddening at the comparison. Ben laughed too, relieved, seeing the gloomy shadow fade from his sister's soulful eyes. He hadn't expected to have such an emotional overflow, but he was glad it happened. Because Kat was happy now. That was all that mattered.

They sat still and silent for long seconds, hugging tightly, their foreheads touching. Then Kat spoke.

"So..." she said, her voice shaking. Her arms increased their hold around her brother's neck. She wiggled her butt slightly on his lap, making him squirm. She bit her full lips and took a deep breath, keeping eye contact, before blurting out: "Do you like me, Ben?"

Her hot breath on his mouth and the contact of her brow on his burning forehead were making him dizzy. Could he tell her? Should she know?

She was staring intently at him. Lying was not an option, of course. But telling the truth...

"Yes..." Ben croaked. His erection pulsed painfully in the confines of his sweatpants.

Kat exhaled, a low purr escaping her parted lips. She could breathe again now, after involuntarily holding her breath as she waited for her brother's reply. Emboldened, she pressed on to the real question. "Do you really like me, Ben? As in, LIKE like me?..."

Her chest was rising and falling quickly. Through their clothes, Ben could feel her full, heavy boobs brushing on his chest. He trembled as he took in his sister's question, its meaning perfectly clear.

He thought briefly of what he was doing. Was he digging his own grave or clawing his way out of the dungeon of doubts and denial where he had locked himself up to hide his deepest, truest feelings toward Kat? It didn't matter. He wasn't going to stop now. He was barely able to think straight, but he spoke anyway. "Yes, Kat. I really do..."

She shifted on his lap, rocking lightly, brushing her crotch into his aching erection. Ben's arms slid along his sister's back, his palms roaming lower down Kat's body until they reached her flaring hips.

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. Kat whimpered. They shared a lightning-quick glance of mutual recognition. They breathed raggedly into each other's mouth. Then they were kissing.

It happened in a flash, and it was immediately too late to stop. Too good to stop. Too right.

The siblings devoured each other's mouth with fury born of their reciprocal pent-up passion. Kat's hands stayed glued to the sides of her brother's head, holding him in place, pulling him in so she could kiss him more, more, more. Ben grabbed her hips, then her butt, sucking his sister's mouth into his kiss. Her lips were so soft and so hot, he couldn't have unclasped himself from them if he wanted to. And he didn't want to, at all.

Their lip-lock lost its initial frenzy after a while, but none of its urgency. For long minutes Kat and Ben shared a deep soulkiss. Their teeth nibbled. Their tongues danced and fought and probed. Their lips brushed and suckled, lovingly kissing.

Ben's eyes opened in disappointment as if emerging from a light and carefree dream when his little sister pulled back, popping their make out bubble.

"Ben... I want you so much... I think about you all the time..." Kat said. Her voice was thick with passion, her whole body writhed. She was caressing his face ardently, as if making sure that her brother was still there, still real. "I... Oh, Ben... I masturbate thinking about you... A lot..."

Ben choked on a guttural moan. Of pleasure, yes, but also of sweet, much needed, long-sought relief. So he wasn't a freak after all. All the incest stories he read, all the loads of cum he spurted to fantasies of his Kat, it didn't feel so shameful all of a sudden. All his crippling insecurities and perpetual second-guessing dissolved in the blink of an eye, his sister's eye, looking at him with unmistakable desire. His bitter resignation to the certainty that nothing would ever come of his not-merely-brotherly love for his little sis suddenly turned into renewed hope.

No, not hope. It was more than that. It was real. It was happening.

Ben felt like crying from the sheer immensity of his happiness. "Kat, I... I can't even begin to tell you how... This... Us..." he trailed off, shaking his head. Then he laughed and just said: "I love you."

He felt his lips stretch in a smile as he heard himself utter those words, finally. He melted inside seeing Kat's face beam with joy as she listened to him. "I love you, Kitty Kat... I love you so, so, so much..."

Kat smiled. Then she giggled. Then she burst out laughing. Disbelieving, overjoyed, she laughed long and loud. So loud that Ben had to clamp his lips on her mouth. Not that their parents would ever wake up, he realized. Their bedroom was on the other side of the house and two stories upstairs from the den. Still, it was a good reason to kiss her, hard and deep.

Through their lip-lock, still smiling, Kat murmured into her brother's mouth between kisses. "I've loved you so much for so long now... I love you, Ben... Oh my god!... Just saying it out loud gives me goosebumps!... I've dreamed about this, I thought it would never... And now... Oh, Ben!..."

Giddy with joy, Kat suddenly stood up. Before her brother's awestruck eyes, she pulled her pajama top over her head in one fluid motion and she let it fall to the floor.

Ben gasped as he stared at his sister's tits in all their naked splendor. Round. Heavy. Juicy. Kat's huge boobs were simply magnificent. His mouth watered as he feasted his eyes on the puffy, soft areolas capped with thick, erect, pink nipples.

"Like my big titties, bro?" Kat said, her voice excited. Playfully, she shook her torso and pushed her chest forward, making her massive jugs sway enticingly.

Ben nodded his head, hypnotized. His gaze was magnetized to his sister's jiggling tits as he spoke, dreamily. "I love them, Kat... They're so big and beautiful... I can't help looking at your tits, Kat, all the time... And when you wear a tank top or one of those v-neck shirts that show all that cleavage..."

"I know..." she giggled, leaning slowly forward. "I catch you staring at them a lot... I like that, Ben... It makes me feel good to know that you look at me that way... Go ahead, touch them..."

His sister's tits were hanging before his face. Their perfect roundness filled his field of vision, inflaming his mind. Kat's tiny hands cupped the sides of her overflowing breasts, offering them to him. With predatory swiftness, Ben brought his hungry hands to Kat's swaying boobs and replaced her palms with his own. His mouth went straight for a swollen areola, devouring it whole.

"Oh yes, Ben... Oooh yeaaah..." she mewled. Grabbing his head, Kat pushed his face deeper into her ample cleavage. "Suck my tits, Ben... Lick your sister's big titties..."

Kat sighed and ran her hands through her brother's hair as he squeezed her tits and sank his fingertips into their ripe fullness. His lips suckled her breasts avidly. His tongue lashed away at each pebble-hard nipple in turn. The siblings moaned in unison, Ben's voice muffled by the soft, smooth mouthful of sisterly tit-flesh. Kat's boobs were very sensitive and she always played with them while masturbating. Her brother's tit-worship got her rabidly horny in no time. Her panties were so soaked that she felt them sticking wetly between her puffy labia, teasing her, making her ache for more.

Ben sighed in frustration when Kat straightened up again, depriving him of her spectacular tits. Giggling, feeling sexy and loving the sensation, she winked at her disappointed brother as she turned around, her back to him.

Her legs held straight, Kat arched her back and pushed her butt out. Her thumbs were tucked into the waistband of her pajama bottoms. "I have something else for you, Ben..." she said, looking back at him over her shoulder. Her smile was still there, but her voice seemed apprehensive, as she added: "I just hope you'll like this as much as you did my boobs..."