I Am Timothy: Your...

"Good morning Tina. You're up early; looking forward to more punishment?" Mom asked me.

Last night had been hell. This morning was worse, the adrenalin and endorphins had worn off. I had woken in agony from a morning wood that had nowhere to go because mom had stitched my penis and scrotum together and to the skin between my legs. My temporary breasts were hurting as skin tried to return to the old shape. My muscles were stiff, but that was improving as I moved around.

I had some other pains, looking in a mirror was still a massive shock and caused an identity crises as Tina stared back at me when I am Timothy. The shock last night had been immense, it had taken me more than an hour to clean my room as I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall and stark shaking at the existential debate that caused. This morning was slightly better, I knew to not expect to see Timothy, but I now got stuck staring and feeling myself. The breasts had sensation when I touched them and felt like real breasts. My genitals were stitched into a form that looked very like labia although I knew my penis was in there and I could feel the stitches although they weren't visible to me. it was still quite a shock to see. I wondered what mom had planned for today, it was going to hurt; of that I was sure.

"No mom. But I know you love being woken up with coffee and it's the time we normally wake up." I said.

Mom looked at her alarm clock and then at me. She looked very carefully, not at her work but at me to see the effect on me. She was satisfied about something and patted the bed beside her, an invitation to get back into bed. I was quite happy to do that if it kept me out of my room.

When we were both settled, it took me time because having your penis stitched between your legs does allow entirely impulsive freedom of movement; mom gave me my cup and asked how I felt. I told her about the feeling of pulling on the skin over my breasts, and the pains in my genitals. Guys don't realize how much their penises move, I hadn't until that time. Mom was a little disappointed but let it go.

"I had to use toilet paper after I peed! That was completely new, and damn difficult." I said suddenly.

"You do learn fast Tina. It's good to see you taking care like a girl should." Mom replied.

She turned to put her empty cup down; her back was nearly bare as she turned and I couldn't resist. I ran my fingers up her spine in a light spider run. She was startled but delight at the sign of affection from me and laughed in happiness. She turned to me and wrapped her arms around me and kissed me with a long, hard, and passionate kiss.

"Thank you for that." She said quietly.

"I love tickling your back mom."

"Yes I know. But that little one said so much."

"Mom? Your nighty is not helping me to do more." I answered.

I was lightly scratching her shoulder blades as I said it. Mom Smiled and pulled her nighty off. She lay down on her stomach and let me scratch her hugged her pillow with a blissful smile. I loved the restfulness of these times when I could calmly do something to give mom pleasure and we could just enjoy being together.

"You used to tickle me to sleep like this mom. I lived for those. The worst part about when you washed my mouth out with soap wasn't that, I got no tickles for a week."

"You're a very rare creature, you respond to affection more than to anything else."

"You say you love by touching mom. Even last night, you were saying you love me. I couldn't handle if you just shouted and left it at that."

"Hmm, so this isn't to get out of punishment."

"No, I'm just loving doing this... I would love to know how to do better."

"You're doing fantastically well now. But yes, we could see about that."

Mom was lying utterly still and the covers were back to the top of her ass cheeks. Still scratching lightly I moved to be between her legs draping the covers over my shoulders. On impulse I bent down and kissed the base of her spine. A shiver of delight ran up mom's body and her breath caught then I kissed lightly again, just at the top of one ass then the other. Mom was quivering in delight at the attention. I kissed and tickled all over mom's back. I was tickling her ass cheeks and she lifted her ass as she thought about my desire to be able to do more: I just couldn't resist the invitation.

"We could get you a few massage cla-!" mom stopped with and exclamation.

I had spread her ass cheeks and kissed her asshole. Mom was completely surprised, and far from upset. She kept absolutely still holding her breath until I kissed again, letting my lips linger there. Then I stuck my tongue out and tasted the outside of the puckered hole. I actually liked it and carried on.

"Oh god yes!" Mom breathed out.

I lifted my mouth a little. Mom relaxed and breathed as I kissed inside each cheek.

"I love how you taste." I said quietly.

Then I went to her rectum again and pushed my tongue in. The effect on mom was spectacular. She squealed like a fifteen year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert and kicked the bed with her legs only bending at the knees. She peed like a fire hydrant squirting all the way down the bed to wet where my hips were seconds later and went into an instant orgasm while my tongue explored inside her rectum wriggling around and tasting every part I could reach.

I could feel her spasms around my tongue and tasted her fart. It was slightly sour whereas she was sweet to taste. I realized that she was about to crap all over both of us if I carried on so I stopped and kissed my way up her spine; she was sweating as if she had just run a marathon. She didn't relax until I kissed under her ears. Her fingers were clawed into her pillow and she was biting it as hard as she could. Slowly her finger released and her jaw unclenched I moved to lie beside her as she slowly got her awareness back and stroked her hair.

Mom only really came back to the present when I gave her another cup of coffee. We were having breakfast when mom first spoke about it though.

"That was a first for me... Tina."

"For me too mom. I've wanted to do that since we first took a bath together though."

"That is why we need to work on your communication... Jeez, I never thought it could be that intense. It literally blew my mind!"

Mom sat shaking her head at what had happened.

"Would you let me do it again?"

"Do you want to? Did you enjoy it?"

"I loved it, I think I could handle you crapping. You nearly did, I stopped because I didn't know if you would."

"Next time just warn me... I'd go insane with that kind of surprise too often... that is often used as a demonstration of submission... but that was not why you did it. You just did that because; why did you?"

"Just because I love you and it was just so right for the time."

Mom looked at me in puzzlement.

"Mom, I know everything is not pretty with you. I know that you do enjoy it sometimes, disciplining me. I know that you have anger too, I know that you worry. If I'm prepared to do that; you can relax mom. I'll handle your doubts and mistakes in the same way you want to deal with my issues."

"Tim... Tina; you're amazing! What did I do to deserve you? You're eighteen! You shouldn't have such beauty and still be so... there are no words."

There was nothing I could say to that. I focused on cooking us breakfast instead. Mom watched me moving around. Getting used to having breasts was if fact easy. I the big hassle came from the stitches, they would pull if my steps were too big or I straightened up in the wrong way. Mom smiled occasionally as she watched me getting to grips with how I was now.

I served breakfast and we chatted about the grocery list to buy, progress at the filling station in the marina, what to do about the Bronco. Essentially we discussed anything to avoid discussing the rest of the day. It was while I was putting the plates in the dishwasher that I couldn't resist anymore.

"Are you going to punish me still mom?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No. But that isn't the question. You're the boss, you decide."

Mom was quiet, she knew that what she had done to me last night was hurting. She knew I was frightened at what would come today if she carried on.

"If I don't you get the message that you can get away with doing something wrong by doing something like you did this morning. You need to be punished, because you did do wrong and that is eating you. And I want to punish you for what you did. So yes I am still going to punish you. It's just going to need some time to..."

I nodded understanding.

"What do we do until then?"

"Marina, parade you around a little, maybe find you a boyfriend?"

My look had mom laughing in delight. She said she was very happy to see that the feminine side of my personality was a lesbian. She did have one surprise for me when we were dressed. For a drawer in her dressing table she took two steel balls each about an inch and a half across. They were tied together by a piece of nylon string and one had a second piece of string attached. She let me hold them while she went to fetch lubricant. I could feel some kind of loose weight in them and they seemed to almost make a noise but just past the range of hearing.

I bent over and she pushed each ball into my rectum leaving only the string outside to be able to get the balls out again. I instantly knew this was going to be torture when I stood up. The balls moved every time I did. I could feel them resting on my prostate and rolling around inside me, sometimes bumping which sent a little shock through me. Mom nodded in satisfaction when she saw me paused in a step. It told her the balls were working.

I was having fun with mom as we went to the marina to see progress on her filling station and raise awareness of her business until the orgasm caused by the balls hit. I stepped to look at a signboard mom was showing me and I suddenly felt a cold rush flow over me followed by heat unlike any I had felt before. I had to stop, reach out and grab hold of the wire mesh fence as waves of pleasure rushed over me blotting out all sound and sight. My arms and legs shook as the sensations built in intensity. I slowly became aware of mom holding me up, she was saying something but I didn't hear a thing. As the feelings faded I started hearing again although it took another minute or two to understand anything being said.

"Mom! Shit, that was something else..." I said softly to her.

"That is as close as a guy can come to a female orgasm. Yes Tina, you just had an orgasm."

"The balls?"

"Yes, it won't be your last today."

"No... oh god no."

"Yes, this is your punishment for not speaking to me some of it anyway. You will have these in public where you have to deal with it, and keep them secret. If you let it be known you're going to be laughed at. And this was the last sympathy you're going to get from me."

I stood breathing heavily. I knew marinas and ports, something like this being discovered would destroy any guy's credibility. The bowl numbing fear that passed for respect would be gone and then he would be fair game for everybody.

"Come Tina, the contractor is waiting for us." Mom said and went to the little site office.

That was the start of a hellish day. The orgasms would hit with little warning, making me pause and desperately find something to lean on or I would just stagger on blindly until I could get my bearings again. Once an orgasm hit in the middle of a conversation. Luckily mom rescued that one as the family man getting ready for summer boating with his family was finding out whether mom would entertain an account. She took over as I struggled through the sensations and I merely looked intelligent as she discussed how her accounts would work and what she would need to open an account.

There were also occasions when the balls moved in such a way to force me to start getting an erection. I would then move desperately to get the ball off my prostate to end the pain in my penis and scrotum. I was extremely happy that I did my refueling in Jacksonville and that nobody recognized me as I got strange looks.

I had to fend two horny college boys too. I was aware of mom watching me struggle and letting me suffer. I suddenly had enough; I was unsure of when the next orgasmic surge would hit. I was feeling humiliated that I had to tolerate being hit on by two idiots who were thinking with their dicks (they had not been the first that day). I felt upset at being alone; and I knew what would happen if I was found out.

I threw one in the water with a fast hip roll when he reached to feel my breast and knocked the other on his ass with two quick but light kicks to the inside of his knees. As he dropped his hands to protect his balls from a lifting knee I stepped onto his thigh and boosted with all my strength and elbow leading to hit him full force and cleanly under his chin. Taking both out had barely been five seconds. They got the message that I was not interested; they probably not interested anymore either.

This made me an instant hero to two girls trying to get a boat cleaning and valet service going in time for the spring rush. They wanted to start a chat but mom was there in seconds. One guy screaming in agony as he came out of the water and immediately started freezing to death and the other who had bitten through his tongue were not encouraging for a conversation.

We were driving out as the ambulance came in. A cop car came soon after that. I flagged him down and told the story. He checked my passport, listened to the story I spun about protecting mom from other assholes who tried, had a look at mom, and nodded complete agreement. He took a picture of my passport and got feedback quickly that I was good with law enforcement. With that understood it was clear those two were going to have a lot of shit when they got out of hospital.

Mom didn't ask about why I had done that. She just drove us to a mall for more embarrassment as I couldn't get away with quietly handing out flyers. She purposely had me shopping for panties and dresses, making me speak to the sales assistants. My voice was obviously male and I heard the laughter behind me at every store I left. The balls were also affecting me at shorter time intervals. Mom got me to the as the surges were almost constant.

At home she got the balls out and put me down to sleep on the living room floor with the heater going as much as it could to warm the house up quickly. She gave me a massage, finishing it with a back tickle like she used to when I was four. I was nearly asleep when I heard mom speaking, tears in her voice.

"I love you; you tough uncompromising bastard! You never ask for mercy, do you? Why not?"

"The sea has no mercy." I answered and everything switched off.

We woke up in the evening when mom kicked between my legs. Well, that takes some explanation. She had gone to sleep beside me and accidentally kicked me between my legs in a dream. My waking cry and gasp woke her up. She checked and was relieved that she had not. Her hand was stroking between my legs as she told me. Her eyes were fixed to my breasts, and her expression was strange. The way she told me had me asking several questions in my mind.

"Do you like me like this?" I asked.

"It's the first time I get to deal with a man in your situation intimately... and in a very different situation. The men before were students being punish or men signing up for complete obedience conditioning to a single dominant. I just did the procedure, the dominant dealt with the guy after hours, as long as he paid attention in my classes I didn't give a shit. Do I like you like this? I'm fascinated, but then everything about you has my interest, we'll get to what you did and experienced today tomorrow... yes I like you like this. But doing it again will take more serious thought."

"What would you do differently?"

"Arrange for a week or even two. Put a screen to stop skin grafting. Sunday those stitches have to come out or a skin graft will start forming... and I would not easily send you out in public like today again, your temper is incredibly short with assholes like those two guys... I would not use this as punishment either because it takes too long; the real pain will only start on Monday if the stitches stay in. A good punishment is little effort for me, is intensely painful for you in the short term with no long term physical damage. It must be safe; there are several, hot wax, whipping and variations on that, some forms bondage, and needles with a few acupuncture principals or not. The thing is that long term punishments require a lot of supervision."

"Today was not entirely punishment then. It was learning and teaching me something."

Mom looked at me in surprise.

"Damn! How sharp are you? What was I teaching do you think?"

"No idea yet but you were also learning. What my limits of endurance are?"

"That too my wonderful son. I was learning how you respond. Running to that room was not typical, you do not panic easily, so it was a waste of time for me to even try."

"Does that mean more punishment is cancelled?"

"Oh no, just postponed until we've had supper." Mom said smiling then; "You're afraid! Good! Make us supper I'll make the bed."

"Are you happy?" Mom asked me in the bath the next morning.

Mom had indeed punished me after supper the previous night; with her needles. She had used acupuncture techniques and needles to inflict a massive amount of pain in a procedure that took her ten minutes. After twenty minutes of agony she took the needles out and ten minutes after than I was only mildly sore. After a good night of sleep I merely had occasional twinges. I was way more in favor of being disciplined with needles than whips. The needles could hurt a lot more but recovery was so much faster. No, she did nothing people would want to read about like skewering my testicles.

"The right any for any person in this position is yes." I replied.

I was lying back soaking in a hot bath with a beautiful woman lying on top of me giving me unlimited feel privileges to anything I could reach. To stop her sliding away my legs were wrapped around her waist and my ankles hooked between her legs. One heel had been at the entrance to her vagina but she had just moved it to press on her clitoris.

"No Tina; that is not the answer I want. Details."

"This, I mean here and now, is what I imagined love to be... not the breasts and stitches but here in a bath, washing each other, touching, just being together. I never really thought about BDSM until that voyage. Now that I'm experiencing it, I love it. I love that we have clearly set positions. The pains are unpleasant but important, they prevent resentments festering. At least the way you're handling us. I want this mom."

Mom let out a small sigh of relief. "What would you change?"

"The chastity cage... and the collar... both are removable. The chastity cage is a bitch, it's heavy, hot, it pinches; it's risky in terms of injuries. About thirty seconds after it's on I want it off. The collar I would love to wear all the time. I understand why all the submissives on the voyage were dead set on a permanent collar. I would love to wear restraints in bed. I know I kick in my sleep and I am afraid of kicking you."

"Nothing about me?"

"Mom, I want us to be in an old age home and I still present myself to you. You're too old to kick so you swing your handbag... That will not happen if I start wanting you to be any different than you are."

Mom laughed at the image. She moved my ankle and turned around to look at me. She studied my face and fondled my breasts. Suddenly she leaned forward and kissed me. No tongue; just a kiss of pure love and admiration. Then she had us get out of the bath. We dressed and went to have breakfast at a restaurant, spending the day shopping for groceries and anything else we liked.