I Am A Zero Pt 05

We hung out downstairs into the night. I wasn't sure when I decided to go to bed, but it was somewhere in the middle of the second action movie. The repetitive squealing of tires and gunshots was starting to make my head hurt and I was tired. It wasn't exhaustion, it was the "start of vacation" tired. That feeling of laziness and just the overall need to sleep for lack of anything else to do when at your parents house. That was something I loved about being here and with family. I could just sleep.

I said brief good nights to my semi drunk and partially awake brothers and then went upstairs to my bedroom. I washed my face, changed into a short tank top and some shorts then got in bed and closed my eyes. It didn't take more than a minute and I was asleep.

There was a creak. Then a voice.

"Kates?"

It was John. I could barely see him in the dark but I knew his voice. I looked over and saw the bedroom door was closed. I rubbed my eyes and then sat up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He sat on the bed beside me and put his hand on my bare knee. It was warm and nice. "I woke up and then couldn't go back to sleep," he whispered.

I nodded. Then I realized he could barely see me so I said, "Ok." I paused for a minute. His hand was stroking my thigh. "Is there anything I can do?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

As my eyes adjusted to the dark I saw that he was pulling the drawstring on his pajama pants and suddenly I understood. I felt a sudden rush of warmth. He needed me. He didn't ask me, he just came in here because he needed me. I licked my lips and smiled.

He took my hand and moved it to his crotch and then pulled out his erection. I gripped it. It was warm, no hot, with soft skin. I gripped it like I was holding a joystick. I heard him breathe out softly and slowly. I tightened my grip on him.

He reached up and pushed on my head, leading me down to his lap. I knew what he wanted and I opened my mouth for him. The tip of his cock was soft on my tongue and I could taste the salt on it. I drew it in and sucked on it gently. My brother John kept his hand on my head as I sucked.

"That feels good," he whispered to me, pushing a little more on my head so I took more of him into my mouth. The position was awkward as I was leaning over and it was hard for me to keep it, but I did the best I could. He gripped my hair with his hand and I felt a chill run through me. It was excitement but not just arousal. It was control. As he gripped my hair, he was taking control away from me. It was like all the tension I was holding onto went away. There was no guessing. There was no wondering about if this felt good, or if that felt good. No ambiguity. He held my hair and moved my head in the way and at the pace that felt good to him. But the angle was still hard for me. My abs started to hurt so I suddenly sat up.

"Shit," John said. "Are you ok?"

"Yes," I said. "Can we change the angle?"

John moved to the middle of the bed and then leaned against the headboard. He pulled down his pajama pants to the knees and I went to the middle of the bed and lay between his legs. I opened my mouth and he took over from there. This time he had both hands in my hair. I gripped him with one hand as I sucked him, but very quickly he said, "Kates, just your mouth."

I let go and he began to move my head up and down, using my hair as a guide.

I could taste the sweet salt of his precum and I swallowed it as I tasted it. I felt his grip tighten on my hair and I knew he was going to speed up. Down, up, down, up, down, up. The rhythm was hypnotic and I could feel him getting bigger and harder in my mouth. His movements became more erratic and I knew what was coming.

I started to suck as he moved my head and he moved his hips, grunted, groaned and suddenly filled my mouth with his warm semen. I sucked it down as quickly as I could, trying to suck with the pulses of his penis in my mouth. I found that when I did that I could swallow the first spurt in time for the next one. John seemed to really like the way that felt and he groaned as I sucked and swallowed, sucked and swallowed.

Finally he was done. He let go of my hair and smoothed it down as if, somehow that would make it nice. I knew he was just trying to be sweet. I swallowed the last of his cum and then swallowed two more times to be sure. Then he let me up and I lay on my side with my arm propping my head up and I swallowed once more.

My eyes were fully adjusted to the night now and I saw John leaning back against the headboard, his cock softening and laying to the side on his naked thigh. He looked content.

"That is what I needed," John said. "I'm sorry to just--"

"Don't do that," I said, sitting up beside him.

"Don't do what?" He asked.

"Apologize to me," I said. "Especially not for this." I put my hand on his thigh. I thought about touching his limp penis but I knew that sometimes people were sensitive after an orgasm. "I told you, John, Whenever you want it, I want it. I mean it." And I did.

He lay his head against mine. "Just a habit I think," he said. "Every other word I say to Chelsea is 'Sorry' these days."

I frowned. I could see that. "Well I am not her," I said. I felt weird being compared to his wife. They were married and what they had was different from what I did with John. At least that's what I told myself.

"You definitely aren't her," John said. "I still can't believe that all this has happened. I mean, what I want to say is, thank you I guess. I have really needed--this. I have really needed you."

I held John's hand in both of mine. "I think I have needed this too. I mean, I know I have needed it." My heart was swelling with emotions, thoughts and feelings. Too many for me to process. Everything felt balanced. Perfect. Except for one thing. One thing I needed to sort through. It had to be done. I couldn't let it go. "John?"

"Hmm?" He replied. I think he was half asleep.

"I do something like this with Jeff too," I said as plainly as I could. I can't lie.

John squeezed my hand harder than I expected for a few seconds and then loosened up. "What?"

"I mean," I started. I didn't know how to be eloquent about it. That wasn't me. "So you know that I saw him masturbating at my house?"

"Yeah," John said, shifting a little. He was more awake now. "Then you started watching him do it and he knew about it, or something."

"Yes," I said evenly. "Things moved on from there."

John was quiet for a moment. I knew he was thinking. I wished that I could know what he thought.

"It's like what you and I do, but different because, well, Jeff is different you know?" I said, the words tumbling out of my mouth. The peace I was feeling had vanished. "What I mean, John is that what happens with Jeff doesn't change anything about what happens with you and me. I am still your sister and you and I have our closeness, and I have closeness with Jeff also."

He was still quiet.

"I am just not a liar," I said. "I don't like to keep secrets. I mean, of course I won't tell Chelsea or Mom and Dad, not that, I mean that I don't like secrets with you guys. I don't like having to figure out what I can say to who, especially not during this week. Does that make sense or did I ruin everything?"

John was very quiet. "Does Jeff know? About us?"

"No," I said. "I wanted to tell you first. John you are the easiest for me to talk to and the hardest for me to keep anything from."

John squeezed my hands again. "Ok," he said finally. "Thank you for telling me."

"Are you ok?" I asked, leaning my head against his again.

"I think so," he said.

"I am going to tell Jeff next," I said to him. "It is only fair."

John squeezed my hand again. "Ok," he said. "I understand. I'm sorry--"

"Don't apologize," I said and I slapped him on the thigh playfully.

"Ow," he said dramatically. He took my hand and placed it on his cock. It was semi hard. "That's better." He said with a smile in his voice.

I cupped his cock and balls with my hand gently. "How should I tell Jeff?" I asked him.

"The same way you told me," he said. "Just be the way you are: honest. Let me know after you tell him so I can talk to him too. This is all a little...jarring but I agree with you that we need to be open about it with one another."

"Ok," I said. I felt his cock stirring a little in my hand. It felt like a pet that John was letting me keep warm. I wanted to kiss it. "What about David?"

"Do not tell David," John said quickly. "Kates, I meant it. Don't tell David. He isn't as understanding or anything like Jeff and I."

He was right. But I still didn't like it. I would ask John again about it later in the week. For now I felt like things landed in a good place.

"Ok, I won't tell David," I said.

"Before I go to bed can you..." John began but then changed his tone. "I need you to do something for me."

He was very direct. I liked it.

"What is it?"

He pushed my head back down to his hardening dick and I took it in my mouth.