I Am A Zero Pt 03

John

I stood in front of the mirror and just looked. I didn't move. I couldn't bear to. I saw Jeff's cum dripping and dribbling down my chest in thick white globs and clear streaks. My nipples were still hard and my heart continued to pound, but I didn't want to move. I just wanted to look. I didn't want to wipe it off--instead I just wanted it to run down my boobs. This is what they were for. It made sense to me. Clearer than anything I had considered before. Clearer than any math problem or any simple sentence. Gazing up at my brother while he objectified me and came all over me felt so right. So calming and yet so exciting all at the same time.

I remained on my knees once Jeff had finished, just holding my tits and looking at him. He told me to "stay there, just like that" and then he went, got his phone and took several pictures of me. I made no smile or any kind of expression, I didn't feel the need. I just looked up at him and he down at me. Once he was finished he went back to the living room and I went into my bathroom where I now stood. I took another deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I didn't know what I felt. I knew I was excited, horny, elated and yet above all else I actually was calm. It was serene. I didn't know that word actually existed, but for me, it did.

"Hey Kates," Jeff called from the other room. "The pizza is here!"

I picked up the washcloth and reluctantly began wiping my brother's cum off my neck and chest. After a minute or two of cleaning, I knew I had it all, so I washed the washcloth out and then put my shirt on. I didn't like feeling covered up. I couldn't describe it. I just felt like I was putting something on that didn't belong on. The soft fabric suddenly felt itchy and uncomfortable. I frowned and then left the room, walking back into the living room to sit with Jeff.

He was already eating his pizza and searching through the TV for the right movie to watch. He looked at me, smiled, but said nothing and acted like nothing had happened. I liked that. There wasn't anything to say. Yet I knew for me, something in me had changed. Perhaps everything had changed. Maybe change wasn't the right word. Maybe it was more like I was finally being myself.

I sat beside my brother and I never felt so close to him, so much like belonging in my whole life. The intensity of my emotion is hard to describe only because I had never felt anything like it before.

Jeff picked a movie and we ate together. Suddenly my phone vibrated with a text from John.

John: What are you doing tonight? Can I see you?

My heart skipped a beat.

Katie: I am just watching a movie with Jeff. Do you want to come over?

"What does John want?" Jeff asked, clearly glancing at my phone.

I turned away from him. "Just to talk, I think. He might come over."

"Awesome," Jeff said with a mouthful of pizza. "I want to tell him about my job."

"You can text him yourself you know?" I said with a smirk. I was usually the go-between with my brothers. For some reason they couldn't text or talk to each other if I was around, they just had me do it. I didn't mind. I liked always knowing what was going on with them. It made me feel included.

"Blah, blah, blah" Jeff said mockingly. "You are already texting him." He kept watching the movie.

John: Yeah I want to come over. Do you think I can see you just you and me, without Jeff?

I glanced at Jeff and thought for a moment.

Katie: Not sure. He just got a job and he is pretty excited. He wanted to tell you about it.

"Tell him to come over! See if Chelsea will let him out of the cage early or if we have to wait until tomorrow at the lake house," Jeff said then he laughed at something on the TV.

John: Tell him congratulations. If I do come by, it will only be for a minute. Chelsea will think I am going to the store for some last minute things. I won't have much time.

"John says congratulations," I said to Jeff and then focused on my phone.

Katie: Ok. Why do you want to see just me and not Jeff?

I knew the answer to the question but I wanted to be sure. I tried not to assume as much as I could as not everyone said what they meant the way that I did.

John: I want to talk to you about what you said earlier. I want to know if you meant it.

Katie: I always mean what I say. Come over and I will show you.

John: Ok. But I don't want Jeff to know.

I sighed. Secrets made things complicated. But I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell John about what had happened with Jeff. It felt like something that was just for Jeff and I. If I was going to do something for John, then it made sense to me that it would be the same thing: something just between us.

Katie: Ok. But I will need your help with a reason. I am not good at lying.

John: No problem. I will be there in thirty minutes.

I slide my phone into the front pocket of my pajama pants. My heart was pounding. I had not thought this through very well and I realized that I wasn't sure what I would do when John got here. I bit my lip and just pictured all the porn I had watched. I knew the mechanics of how a blow job worked but all the acting and the drama of porn was not a help to me. Instead I focused on how I knew Jeff liked to jerk off. That was something easier to emulate--it was more real. If I just did the same thing with my mouth and hand I think that would work. The only way to know was to try.

Jeff put his hand on my leg as we watched the movie and he squeezed softly. It felt good. It was like he was reassuring that my place was to be right there next to him. Or something. I wasn't sure what it was, but I liked how firm he was. I felt like I belonged there.

I imagined how John must feel knowing that Chelsea didn't want or didn't think of his pleasure as important. The more I thought about it, the more upset it made me. John was a good person and he was a good husband to her. He was handsome, goofy and devoted. I always thought Chelsea was lucky to have him. But now that he had told me about this simple thing he wanted, it made me mad that she didn't seem to care about that. I wondered if he had ever told her about it. I doubted that. John wasn't the confrontational type, which was why she just kind of bullied him.

Jeff laughed at the TV and I did too. He squeezed my leg again and I leaned closer to him. I think that is what he wanted me to do. His fingers rubbed my pajama pants and I wondered what he was thinking. I felt so close to him.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. I got up but before I could get to the door it opened and John stepped in.

"Hey guys," he said looking at me directly for a moment and then softening his gaze when he saw Jeff. "Hey Jeff, Katie says congratulations are in order!"

"You bet your ass!" Jeff said as he hopped to his feet.

John walked over and handed Jeff a bottle of bourbon with a bow on it. "Well then here you go, brother! Congratulations!"

Jeff smiled and snatched the bottle immediately. He walked back to the couch and started to open it. "Kates, get some glasses and let's have a drink!"

I looked at John for a moment and he nodded. "Ok," I said and I walked over to the kitchen and found some glasses.

"I only have time for one drink," John said. "Then, Katie, I need you to come out and look at this stain on my car seat. I have no idea how to get it out and Chelsea is going to kill me if she sees it." He met my eye and winked.

I nodded. This was a reasonable lie. John was terrible at cleaning anything and he often would drop off shirts for me to clean and I had washed his car several times. "Ok, I will need to get the cleaner from over the clothes washer," I said as easily as I could. I was terrible at lying.

I set three glasses down and we had a drink with Jeff. He was so happy. I loved seeing him like that. I could tell he was so proud. I also knew he was going to get very drunk tonight from that bottle.

"Ok, that's all I can have," John said. "I need to get going. Katie, can you help me?"

"See you tomorrow!" Jeff said to John, already pouring himself another glass. "It is gonna be epic!"

"You know it!" John said and then he walked out my front door.

I grabbed some cleaner and a washcloth and then followed him out. He had parked away from the curb in a very dark part of the street. I jogged to catch up to him as he was almost to his car. He opened the backseat door and slid in, motioning me to get in with him. I realized my hands were shaking. I shivered, not because it was cold but because I was nervous and excited. I slid in next to him and set the cleaner on the floor of the backseat.

My brother looked at me for a moment. He was very nervous.

"Are you ok?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Yes," he said simply. Then he added, "Did you mean what you texted me?"

I nodded.

"Say it," he said. "I mean, would you say it to me? Sorry I didn't mean to be so direct."

"Don't apologize to me," I said to him simply. "I like it when you say what you mean, John." I slid next to him until our legs touched. I put my hand on his thigh.

"Ok," he said and then he swallowed dryly.

I took a breath, thought and then spoke, "John, ever since you told me about what you wanted from Chelsea, I haven't stopped thinking about it. I don't like that Chelsea..."

"Don't talk about her," John said. "Please."

I nodded. "Ok," I said. I looked into my brother's eyes. "Ever since we talked I have been thinking about how much I wanted to do one thing for you."

"What's that?" He asked nervously.

"John, I want to suck your dick," I said simply and directly. "I really want to."

He looked into my eyes but didn't say anything.

I wasn't sure what to do so I reached to his crotch and he flinched for a second. "Please can I suck your dick?" I asked him as I grabbed at his button and zipper.

He swallowed and helped me undo his pants. He slowly slid his pants down, with his underwear at the same time and his already hard dick sprang up. He was a little smaller than Jeff, but perfectly straight with a tuft of hair at the base.

I smiled at him. "This is my first time," I said to him. "But I am so glad it is with you."

Before he could reply I leaned forward and took the tip of his cock in my mouth. I was surprised by how soft the skin was and how salty he tasted. I wondered if the taste was precum or sweat or something else so, with his cockhead in my mouth, I started to lick on it.

He gasped and gently touched the hair on my head, moving some behind my ear so he could watch me.

His voice and his soft touch made me feel connected to him. So I took a bit more in and sucked on it. I was right in that it wasn't as salty as at first, I just felt his soft flesh that surrounded his hardness push into my mouth as I sucked.

"Oh yes," he muttered.

I took him down further and kept sucking, trying to rely on his sounds and movements to help me know if I was doing it right. I so wanted this to feel good for him. I thought about how Jeff jerked off and so I gripped the remained of his shaft with my hand and I bobbed my head and stroked him.

"Just your mouth," John moaned and he pushed my hand away.

I focused on continuing the motion but just with my mouth and I sucked harder. I took him in as far as I could, the head of his penis hit the back of my mouth and then I pulled back up.

He put his hand on my head and guided me up and down slowly. "Just like that Katie," he moaned. "Just like that."

I loved his direction. I felt close to him. No. More than that even. I felt connected. It was like his dick in my mouth was part of me. I moved at his direction, down and up, down and up, down and up.

"Yes, yes," he muttered as he started to bob my head faster and faster.

I swallowed my spit and kept going. I felt so connected to John this way. I just wanted him to feel good. I stopped trying to control my pace and just let him control me. It felt better this way. More natural. I thought of Jeff objectifying me and cumming all over me and I realized John was doing something similar. He was holding my head and using it to pleasure his cock. I imagined my mouth being a receptacle for his cock as he began to buck his hips. The word: receptacle seemed to imprint into my mind. That is what I was in this moment. That is what I needed to be. I felt my body respond as I knew I was very wet and my hips moved in involuntary pleasure.

"I am going to cum," John blurted. "Katie, I need you to swallow it. Please swallow it."

I nodded my head enough for him to see me, but not enough to disturb the rhythm he had continued. I felt his fingers in my hair tighten and he began to thrust his hips as I bobbed on his cock. I knew it was coming but I didn't know what to do, so I just gave myself as best as I could to the moment and to my brother. All I could think was: use me.

"Gah!" Suddenly John gasped and almost immediately my mouth filled with the warm, thick saltiness of his cum. I started swallowing in a rhythm that matched the bobbing of my head as my brother groaned, moaned and came. I gulped cum and spit as John's rhythm became erratic. All I could do was suck, swallow and keep going until he was done.

As I sucked and swallowed something else had happened. I had lost myself in that moment. The way John was thrusting and holding my head was so direct, firm and controlling. It was like he was depositing himself in my mouth. This was only further enunciated by his moans, grunts and heavy breaths. I knew that this was what he needed. He was letting himself go and this was what I could do for him. This was my purpose.

Finally he grunted and he thrust once more and held my head down on himself as his cock gave me one last trickle of his cum. I swallowed it down and as he gasped I continued swallowing on him. I set in myself in that moment that I would not stop swallowing on John until he asked me to stop. He groaned, he shook and then he pulled me off his spent dick.

"Holy shit," John said as he leaned back.

I sat up, swallowed again and then wiped my mouth. It was wet from saliva and what could have been his cum, but I couldn't tell. "I really enjoyed that," I said to him.

I could see those words meant something to my brother. He knew I meant it. "That was amazing," he said almost breathlessly.

"Yes it was," I replied. I put my hand on his knee. "John, anytime you want it. Literally any time, would you come over and use my mouth?"

He gave me a look for a moment and then said, "Use your mouth?"

I nodded, "Yes. I mean it. I really think I need you to use my mouth like that. But only if you want to."

He just looked at me. I saw something in his eyes that I couldn't place. Then he nodded, "I will Kates."

Jeff

I got out of the car. My head was spinning and so I stood for a moment and watched John drive off. I held the cleaner and the rag in my hand to maintain the ruse of cleaning his seat. I wasn't sure what to do, so I continued to stand. My mouth was filled with the taste of him--my goofy, kind brother John. My only regret was I wished the car had not been so dark and that I would have been able to see more. I knew I would replay that moment in my mind again and again, but all I had was what I felt, smelled and tasted. Tasted. The word rolled around in my mind. I had his taste. It wasn't just the taste of his cock or even his cum that lingered, but it was the taste of his enjoyment, his pleasure, his satisfaction.

My body felt good. I was relaxed as if I had an orgasm. Perhaps I did. I honestly wasn't sure. All I knew was that touching myself was no longer going to be enough. It was a cheap substitute for whatever this was. Whatever was happening was what I had been looking for. The door inside me was opened and there was no going back.

I watched as he stopped at the stop sign at the end of my street and then turned left. Back to his wife and his life. But I knew I had done something for him that only I could have done. I realized then and there something important about purpose. When you find it, it is something that only you can do. This was something that only I could do for him. I felt that when he was holding my head in those final moments and losing himself in thrusting my mouth. It was like my mouth and my head had been waiting for John's cock, his cum and his need. Moreover, he had been waiting for me. In a way I supposed that I should have thanked Chelsea for being a selfish bitch. She had allowed this to happen or at least sped the process along.

I took another breath in the cool night air then turned and went back into the apartment. As I entered the living room, Jeff was eating another piece of pizza and I saw that he had set two pieces aside for me. That was kind of him. He was lounging on the couch eating his pizza and sipping another tall pour of bourbon. Jeff was a pretty heavy drinker when he had a mind to it and he was well on his way to being very drunk. I wasn't sure how long I had been gone.

"So what was the deal with his seat?" Jeff asked casually. "I swear Kates, if you weren't there to clean up after him, Chelsea would have killed John already."

I smiled and didn't say anything. I walked past him and put the unused cleaning supplies away. I went into the kitchen, grabbed a plate and a napkin and then sat down to pick up the pieces of pizza left for me. "What are you watching?" I asked as I sat.

"Some war movie," Jeff said with a bit of a slur in his speech. "I think I have seen it before, but it's hard to say. They are all the same."

I nodded and ate my slice of pizza. I found it interesting how good it tasted with the taste of John still in my mouth. I wondered if cum was like salt or vanilla in that it had a quality that made things taste better. I would have to look that up when I had a chance. "Are you all ready for tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah, I finished the HR form so all there is to do is relax now," Jeff said with a slight slur.

I smiled at him. "I mean are you all packed?"

He nodded, "The benefit of living out of a suitcase is you are always partially packed."

I gave a soft laugh and set down the plate. I found I was full and didn't need to eat more. I wondered what John was doing or what he was going to tell Chelsea. I hoped that some of the edge of his night was taken off by what we did. I hoped that during the week we would find another time or way to be alone. I was already thinking about the next time.

"Kates, I think you should wear that night shirt more often," Jeff said. He was sitting up and looking at me. "You have nice legs."

"Ok," I said to him simply. I knew Jeff liked to look at me and that made me feel good. It was easy for me to understand and I wanted him to enjoy being with me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I replied, wiping my mouth with the napkin. I wondered if I had any of John's cum on my chin. It didn't look like it.

"Are you a virgin?" Jeff asked.

"Yes," I said to him.

"But you had boyfriends," Jeff said. "I remember that one guy, what was his name? Cooper or something."

"Carter," I replied. "I am not sure if he was actually my boyfriend. We never had that conversation directly."

Jeff nodded and he laughed. "Katie, sometimes you can have a conversation without talking about every little detail."

I frowned at him. "I know most people can, but I am not like that. You know that."

He nodded. "I know, I'm sorry--I am a little drunk. I know you are different."

I looked away from him. No matter what happened, eventually how I was "different" seemed to always come up. I didn't understand why. It was just so apparent or obvious. It made me feel out of place in that moment.

"I like that you are different," Jeff said, scooting closer to me. "You are my little sister and I understand you."

I looked back at him and gave a small smile. "Thanks for saying that."