Sometimes Jonathan had this nagging aching in his balls. It was dull and usually pretty mild, and it didn't happen all the time. Once in a while, though, the aching was really bothersome. He usually ignored it. But, at those times when the aching was stronger, he wondered if something was seriously wrong.
When he was in the shower, he felt around on himself a little, and noticed a place on each side that was touchy if he squeezed very hard. Jonathan was concerned...and, he was embarrassed. He was too embarrassed to tell his mom. And he couldn't just go to the doctor without his mother finding out, and then having to explain the problem. Maybe the aching would just go away on its own, eventually. He hoped it would, anyway.
He looked in the family medical book under 'diseases of the testicles'. Crap! 'Testicular cancer' was the very first condition listed. It happens most between ages 15 and 35. Crap! Jonathan closed the book without reading further. The blood drained from his face. He felt suddenly weak. Crap! He thought he was gonna die! Jonathan felt shaky as he lay down on his bed. Would his testicles swell up and turn black? Would he die an agonizing death? He had just graduated from high school, and his life was almost over! Jonathan lay on the bed, imagining the worst, and thinking about the things he'd never get the chance to do now that he was going to die.
After a while, the panic began to subside. Maybe, just maybe it could be something else. He looked in the biology book he had used for home-schooling. Nothing there. Mom hadn't spent much time on anatomy and biology. And when the pastor had had a little talk with him about men's stuff, about all he had told him was not to touch himself down there except to wash himself or to use the toilet. Jonathan timidly opened the medical book again, and cautiously found the place that described diseases of the testicles. There was other stuff that could go wrong, too, he read. Like sexually-transmitted stuff. He could rule that out, because he for sure had never had sex. Strangulation of a testicle. Crap, that sounded horrible! Jonathan shut the book again. All it mentioned were horrible diseases. After all, he tried to assure himself, his testicles just ached – and they didn't ache all the time, even.
How could he find out without his mom knowing? His cousin Sarah. She was almost a whole year older. They had shared the same home-schooling curriculum, and now Sarah was starting a home-study course on some kind of herbal doctoring or something like that. Their ultra-religious families were very big on herbal remedies. Jonathan could ask her – she had some books that came with her home-study course, and they probably would have some information.
"Sarah, can I come over to look something up in the medical books you just got?"
"Sure, Jonathan. What do you want to look up?"
"It's sort of...well...it's personal, Sarah," Jonathan stammered.
"Jonathan, how can I help you look something up if I don't know what it is?" Sarah asked.
Good point, Jonathan thought.
"OK, Sarah, but you have got to swear on the Bible that you won't tell. I don't want Mom to find out."
"Come on, Jon, tell me what it is so I can at least get out the right book for you."
"This is embarrassing, Sarah," Jonathan insisted. "OK. I guess I can trust you. It's my....um...my testicles. They ache a lot."
There was a pause before Sarah answered. "OK, Jonathan. I'll see what I can find in my books. Come on over and we'll check things out."
Sarah thought of herself as a medical student. Even though she was studying a correspondence course, she felt very proud of herself. Her family and lots of people in the neighborhood tried of avoid 'regular' doctors, and institutional medicine. They preferred to use midwives and reflexologists and herbal medicine. Sarah took her correspondence-studies in natural health topics very seriously.
Jonathan was 7 months younger than her. They had grown up living less than a mile apart. Their moms had home-schooled them and their brothers and sisters. There were other kids in the rural community who were home-schooled, too. Most of them went to the same conservative church congregation.
As she walked to the bookshelf, Sarah glanced out the window of her bedroom, and could see Jonathan walking up the road toward her house. He was wearing an oversized mesh basketball tank top and jeans. Even though he was her cousin, she still found him handsome. His shoulders were broad, and he had a killer smile. She admired his tanned skin and big muscles.
Looking through the box of paperback textbooks she had recently received in the mail, Sarah found two that should be helpful. One was an anatomy book. Another was a book about diseases. The books were written in very simplified terms, but to Sarah, they seemed just like the books that student doctors in big medical schools studied from. As she passed by the window again, she could see that Jonathan was almost to her house. She quickly sat down at her desk, and started to search the thin anatomy book. 'Reproductive Organs' was the title of the chapter. She found the pages that had pictures of men's genitals, and studied. Sarah had only older sisters, and had never seen a man. Well, once she had accidentally glimpsed her father while he was nude in the bedroom, but she had seen hardly anything. But Sarah knew that as an herbal doctor, she would have to learn to be responsible for people's health, and she was willing to learn. She read quickly, trying hastily to become an expert, as she heard Jonathan downstairs knocking on the door to the back porch.
Sarah raced down the stairs, opened the door, and greeted her cousin. Sarah was Jon's favorite cousin. He thought her long auburn hair was so pretty. While her parents were out of town at a church conference today, she had decided to wear some clothes that her parents frowned on. Sarah had short, snug denim shorts [instead of a modest skirt]. And she wore a white T-shirt that she had tied up to expose her belly. Her mother would simply die if she knew Sarah was having Jon to the house while she was so skimpily clad. As any teenager would, Sarah resented the strict dress codes imposed by her church. Skirts or dresses had to touch the knee. No sleeveless or low-cut tops were permitted Tight-fitting clothes were forbidden. Slacks were frowned upon, and her mother would not let her wear shorts, except around home.
Her mother knew Sarah had a few clothes like she was wearing today, but preferred to ignore the fact.
When her parents were out, for a few hours or longer, Sarah dressed the way she wanted. Sometimes she danced around the house in only her bra and panties. This spring, she had sneaked and bought a bikini once when she went to town alone. She kept it hidden away, and sometimes while her parents were out, she would lay in the sun. She found the feeling of the sun on her bare skin was quite invigorating.
Recently, Sarah even went nude a few times, when no one was at home. She loved feeling her body unrestrained by clothes. It felt good to let her breasts bounce freely. And there was something about how her skin felt when it was exposed to the air that thrilled her. Sometimes she stood in front of the mirror and admired her body. She was a pretty girl and she knew it. But with the home-schooling thing, and the ultra-conservative way of dressing, there weren't really any occasions that she could show off her beauty.
One evening, after she had showered, she wrapped herself in a towel, and went over and stood in front of her bedroom window to dry off. The shade was up. Of course, no one was outside, but her parents were downstairs. It exhilarated her to think that Jonathan, whose house she could see from her window, just might be looking in her direction.
"Come on upstairs, Jon. I got the books out," Sarah said as she ran ahead of him up the stairs. As Jonathan followed her up the stairs, he admired his cousin's legs and butt. It wasn't often he got to see a girl dressed this way.
Sarah grabbed the two paperback textbooks, and plopped down across her bed. "Let's look up your problem, Jon." Sarah motioned for him to come lie down next to her. "All I had time to look up was anatomy so far. Want to see that?"
"Uh...OK, Sarah. But I kind of know what I look like already."
