Her Son's Surrogate

Carol was doing her best to stay out of her son's affairs, but it was difficult when she knew she could help, if only he would confide in her! She stared at her phone, thinking of her latest unsuccessful attempt to find out what the issue in his marriage was. He refused to say.

Knowing all she could do was hope it would work out, she went back to preparing her dinner for one. Ever since Andy had moved out to live with his wife, the house felt too empty. She knew she was compensating for the quiet by poking her nose in his business, but what else was she supposed to do?

It didn't help that in the last few months his visits had gotten less frequent, and she hadn't even seen his wife, Becca, since the wedding. The last she heard they were going to try to have a baby, and now she was frozen out.

It wasn't fair, really. She'd had a child, and could offer support and advice! And yet, every time she even tried to bring the subject up, she was shut down. If she pressed, he just said goodbye and hung up. She considered herself a strong, patient woman, but this was pushing her limits. If it continued much longer, she might have to play her ultimate card...and pay them a visit.

Once she had dinner ready, she took it to the TV room and sat and ate while watching a show. She used to eat at the kitchen table, but it got too lonely. The rest of the night was quiet, and she retired early to get up for work the next day. Her bed was cold and empty, a fact that had been distressing after her husband died, but seemed normal now. Curling up under the covers, she cocooned into a warm ball and went to sleep.

The next morning, she woke up sure of her next move regarding Andy. If he wouldn't confide in her, she would go to him. It was silly for them to just throw away her help! She sent him a text explaining her plans to go visit them that weekend. It was a funny way to think of a fifteen-minute drive, but the way they'd removed themselves from her life made the distance feel longer.

At work, she put her phone away, as usual, and didn't pull it from her drawer until the end of the day. She found 15 text messages and 3 voicemails waiting for her, all from Andy. Aha! She'd gotten his attention. Reading the messages quickly, all she saw were excuses.

'Becca's not up to it', 'Not a good time', 'We have plans.'

Listening to the voicemails, it was just more of the same. It was almost enough to make her give up. Almost. She called her son back, happy that he picked up right away.

"Son, I am coming to visit, nothing you say can change that," she said firmly.

"Mom, no. Look, I know you mean well, but it really won't help anything." He sounded frazzled.

"How am I supposed to know what will or will not help, if you won't tell me what it is? You know I can help."

"It's not about your help, Mom, it's just..." he trailed off, clearly upset.

"Just what?" she asked.

His voice was weary when he answered. "Just that things are tough right now. Becca is doing better, but she's getting some crazy ideas. If you come, she'll tell you, and it will ruin everything."

"I don't understand. Doing better with what? What crazy ideas?"

Silence, and then, "It's a whole thing, but the most important bit is we can't have children."

Carol's heart fell through her stomach, and she had to sit down quickly from the shock. "Oh, son, I am so sorry to hear that. I didn't know. I would never have pestered you so much if I knew. You should have told me."

"I...it's complicated, Mom. Look, she's desperate, and is willing to do anything for a baby. I'm getting worried."

"I don't want to push...but have you explored all the options? IVF? Adoption?"

Despair filled her son's voice. "Yes, we've looked. Adoption takes too long for her and IVF is too expensive."

"Honestly, Andy, why didn't you come to me?"

"I wanted to, but I just couldn't..."

Curiosity dug its claws into her brain. Carol had to take a beat, to calm herself, before asking, "Why not? What is going on? Talk to me, Andy!"

Anguish filled his voice. "She's got a crazy idea in her head, and is convinced it's the right way to go. I didn't want you to find out."

"Oh, come on. Can it really be that bad?"

"It's bad. Believe me, it's bad."

"Well, let me decide how bad it is..."

He sighed, deep and long. "I can't tell you on the phone. Can I come over? It'll be easier to explain, and then at least I can tell Becca I tried."

"Of course. I'm just leaving work now; I'll be home in 10."

"'Kay, see you in a bit."

"Okay." Carol hung up, head swimming with conjecture over what her daughter-in-law's crazy idea might be. She made the drive home in closer to 10 minutes due to worry for her son. He'd sounded so dejected, almost defeated. Whatever was going on, she would do her best to support and encourage him.

Once home, she put some water on for tea and waited for him to arrive. The water was just coming to a boil when she heard Andy's car pull in, so she poured the tea for them both and took the mugs to the kitchen table. When he walked in, he looked like a man walking to certain death, which made her melt with sympathy.

She rushed to give him a hug, reminded of how big and strong he was when he hugged her back. When she pulled away, she urged him to sit. "Tell me what's going on, surely it can't be that bad," she soothed.

"It is. Just, give me a minute. I'm not sure how to even say it." His usually cheerful face, with the sparkling blue eyes she loved so much, was drawn and tired.

"Why don't you start at the beginning. I won't say a word." Carol smiled encouragingly.

He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his short hair, the same shade as her own dirty blonde. He looked around at the house he was raised in as if seeing it with new eyes before taking another calming breath. "Okay, so I mentioned Becca can't have kids..."

Carol nodded, keeping her promise.

"She has a condition that makes it...hard to conceive. Have you heard of vaginismus?"

"Ummm, it's like, an inability to have penetrative sex?"

"Yeah, essentially. Her body tightens up when it comes time to do it, and there's no way I can...you know. We've tried, but it's just too painful for her. We went to a doctor, and she said it's not physical, it's probably psychological."

"Oh, no," Carol murmured.

"Yeah. Becca and I have talked a lot about it, if there's anything that might be...preventing her from being with me. She insists there's nothing, she's doing everything right. Whatever the cause, there's no way she can get pregnant the normal way."

Carol winced, feeling a wave of sympathy for her son. Questions filled her brain about their relationship, but she kept her mouth closed as promised.

"I suggested therapy, to see if there was a way to, you know, help her, but she refused. It's been tough on both of us, but I can see her pain when the topic of babies comes up. It means a lot to her to be a mom one day."

Carol nodded her understanding.

"It got to the point where she's exploring other options. Mom..." he sighed. "It's all so expensive."

Feeling like the end had finally come, and she could speak, Carol said, "So you need money? I don't have much, but I can try to help."

"No! God, no, if only it were that easy." Andy's expression turned sour.

"I can't imagine the stress on your marriage...to not be able to consummate...and now her pressing for a pregnancy that can't happen." Carol's curiosity welled, threatening to burst with a thousand questions. Top of them: Had they never had sex before getting married?

"Yeah. I really love her, and I'm trying my best, but her ideas...they're out there."

"Ideas?"

He nodded, running his hand through his hair and staring down at the table. "Lately she's been exploring the idea of a surrogate, and at first it made sense. We take some of her eggs, my you-know, and they put them together in a lab for another woman to carry to term."

Andy paused long enough for Carol to get antsy until he said, "Then we found out vaginismus often causes infertility, and the chances of it being successful are low...too low to pay for, if we even had the money."

"Ohhh, I'm sorry," Carol murmured.

"Yeah. When we found out, I braced myself for her to react badly...but she didn't. She just got this determined look on her face and brought up another option - our last, probably - to find a traditional surrogate. We use my stuff and another woman uses her eggs and carries the baby."

"That doesn't sound so crazy to me."

Andy seemed to lose the ability to look her in the eye.

"Is there more?" she asked.

"Yeah. Becca made me swear to get you to think about it before reacting. So, please keep an open mind when you hear the rest of it." He waited.

Carol nodded her head warily. Rest of it?

"Surrogacy is stupid expensive. Never mind the lab costs, surrogates themselves get paid a lot of money. The cheapest way is to find a friend, and not even involve a lab. Do it the natural way, and the friend gets pregnant."

It took Carol a few seconds to understand. "Becca wants you to have sex with another woman and get her pregnant?"

Andy nodded, clearly miserable, not even able to look in her direction. "We don't know anyone willing to do it." His voice got low and quiet. "She wanted to ask you, which is why I've been avoiding you." He trailed off as if he'd said something significant.

"Well, all my friends are older, but maybe there's someone at work..."

He interrupted her. "No, Mom. She wants you to be the surrogate."

Carol stared at her son, aghast, the proposed scenario spinning out in her mind. "That's...crazy!"

Andy's face said it all; he knew it was crazy. He laughed, sounding a bit manic. "You actually thought about it longer than I predicted you would. I told Becca it was a non-starter, but she insisted."

At the mention of her daughter-in-law, Carol took a mental step back and a deep breath. "Hang on...I'm reacting first...I said I'd think about it. I just...wow, that's a lot." She looked at Andy with concern. "I'm sorry you're going through this. It must be super stressful for you both."

Andy smiled wearily. "This is why I love you. Right after I tell you the nuttiest thing around, you're full of empathy and concern."

"Well...I had a friend struggle with fertility issues. It was hard. She was eventually successful but it took a lot of money, and it was the hardest thing she'd ever gone through. Becca must be suffering...I need something stronger than tea."

Getting up from the table, she went to the cupboard and took out a half full bottle of Sherry. Pouring herself a glass, she raised an eyebrow at Andy, who nodded. Another glass, another pour, and she was back at the table with their drinks. She took a healthy slug of the potent liqueur, pausing to feel the warmth trickle down to her stomach.

Away from the initial shock of the idea, she took a beat to at least consider it, as promised. So many questions surfaced, she felt overwhelmed almost right away. "I don't even know where to start thinking about this. Can I ask, why isn't she here asking?"

"In case you freak out. She thinks you'll go easier on me." he smiled grimly, but was serious.

"When you see her, tell her I sympathize with what she's going through, and I'm not judging her. She can come to me with anything."

Andy nodded. He took a swig of the Sherry.

"I'm surprised it even occurred to her. Inbreeding - because that's what this is - causes genetic defects! Why would she want some monster baby?"

"I asked the same thing. She insisted that the first time is very low risk. How she knows that, I have no idea, but I did some research and she's right: studies show the first generation of 'intergenerational reproduction' carries very little risk of abnormalities."

It took Carol a few minutes to wrap her head around that one. She sipped her Sherry a few times while thinking. Warring in her head was her desire to help her family and the ick she got from who the father would be. He was a handsome man, it was just...he was her son!

"How did she even get you to agree to ask me? Are you on board with this?"

"Not at first, no. Not by a long shot. It took weeks of persistent pestering and appealing to my own desire to have children...plus it would make her happy. I wouldn't say I'm 'on board'...more like reluctantly compliant." It was dryly said, but painted a colourful picture.

"How would it work? I can't even wrap my head around this. Mechanically, how would we do this? A turkey baster? I can't believe we're even talking about this." The alcohol was taking effect, warming her face and numbing her teeth. "Never mind. Forget I asked. Why don't you head home, this is all a lot to take in."

Andy nodded and stood up. His glass was empty. "Thanks for not freaking out, and I'm sorry for dropping this in your lap. Don't forget, I was trying to avoid all of this." He said it with a smirk.

Carol laughed. "That'll teach me to not poke my nose in. Seriously, though, Andy. I'm always here for you. Next time, don't keep me out of the loop."

He bent down to kiss her cheek before leaving her to her Sherry. Once it was done, she cleaned both glasses, put them away to dry, and went to change out of her work clothes.

In her room, she pulled her clothes off, revealing a body that was no longer young. Her D cups hung on her chest, her large nipples pointing closer to the floor than the ceiling. Her wide hips were more padded now, her thighs thicker, but she felt like her shape was still pleasing to a man. She ran her hand down her belly, no longer toned but not fat either. Her butt, never small, was spreading out. Curvy, not overweight. Voluptuous.

Musing, the mystified mom imagined a baby growing inside of her. Breasts filling with milk, nipples darkening in readiness for lactation. It was a strange vision, but not an unwelcome one. If only the father could be someone besides her son.

***

The next day was normal, workwise, but internally she was a mess. Carol flubbed up a couple of tasks, requiring rework and a gentle reprimand from Linda, her supervisor. She apologized profusely, before immediately screwing up another order.

Linda came to her desk, with a sympathetic expression. "Look, something's clearly bothering you. Take the day, get your head clear and come back fresh tomorrow, okay?"

Embarrassed and flustered, Carol nodded her agreement. With the state her mind was in, she shouldn't have even come in. She went home with a bottle of wine. It probably wasn't a good idea to get drunk, but she felt like it was a reasonable reaction given the situation. At home, she kicked off her shoes and poured herself a glass, taking the bottle with her to the living room.

It was supremely unfair that the only options open to the young couple were adoption or surrogacy, and both were out of their reach. Adoption was a harrowing, invasive, bureaucratic journey into their personal lives which had no guarantees, while surrogacy was damn expensive and required a generous woman. IVF was just as expensive. Carol racked her slightly wobbly brain, trying to think of an alternate solution, but came up with nothing that Andy hadn't already mentioned.

A second glass of wine soon joined the first.

Carol had promised to keep an open mind. One by one, she carefully examined the different aspects of the idea, trying to see if there was a path forward. Was she okay getting pregnant?

Yes.

Was she willing to risk her health in order to help her son and his wife?

Yes.

Was she okay joining her egg with Andy's sperm?

Ick. This was tougher.

Even if Andy's research was correct, there was an innate sense of wrongness to the entire idea...how could she carry her son's baby? After some contemplation, she realized the issue was with it being Andy's. Actually being pregnant was fine. If she could get her brain to ignore how it came about...she might be able to come around. With some serious mental gymnastics, she was potentially okay with it, which was a weird revelation.

There were benefits to the whole thing. A path to happiness for her son and his wife. A grandchild

(second child, aaaaagh)

. Her own sense of satisfaction at being able to help her son in such a substantial way.

They hadn't even discussed the mechanics of it, and how they would put egg and sperm together. There were details to iron out, but the end result was what they all wanted. Carol had been looking forward to grandchildren for years, and if she could help that come about, she would do it.

A bit tipsy, Carol went to call Andy. He picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Hi, Andy. I gave it some thought, and I think you two should come over to talk."

"Oh, uh..ok. I'll let Becca know. When were you thinking?"

"Tonight is best."

"Alright." After some muffled talking, he came back to her, "We'll come over around 7, okay?"

"See you then." Carol hung up, anxious energy filling her. Getting pregnant again, at her age! Memories came back of the last time. The weight gain, the cravings, the hormone surges. There were good parts too: Feeling Andy kick in her tummy, singing to him...the extra surge to her libido. Don had had a hard time keeping up with her!

Feeling like she'd made a scary decision, Carol went to get something to eat, making a mental note to book a checkup with her doctor.

***

When it came time for Becca and Andy to arrive, Carol was sitting in her living room. She heard their car pull in, and stood to go meet them at the door.

Ushering the young couple in, it felt like it had been years since she'd last seen Becca. She was dressed in a knee length patterned skirt and blue blouse, her brown hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. It was a demure, girl-next-door look that Carol knew her son liked.

"Come in, sit down. Would you like something to drink? Tea? Coffee?" Carol offered.

Becca shocked her head, clearly nervous. All three sat down, two across from one.

Smiling gently, Carol said, "Andy told me your proposal. I'm flattered you would trust me to help you out like this. It's no small thing."

Becca nodded, retreating into herself next to her husband. She seemed to be bracing herself for a blow.

"I won't torture you any longer; I've decided to do it."

Becca's face lit up, a huge smile transforming the young woman into a beauty that Carol hadn't seen since their wedding. Carol grinned and looked at Andy, who just looked shocked.

"Are you sure, Mom? I mean...this is huge!" he said, clearly wrestling with several emotions at once.

"Yes, I'm sure. You're giving me the chance to help you both in a time of need, and I couldn't possibly pass it up." Carol was feeling a well of emotion herself, seeing the transformation in front of her.

Becca hugged Andy fiercely, squeezing hard with her head in his chest. When she let up, Andy let out a wheeze, causing his wife to laugh. She wiped tears from her face and looked at Carol. "I can't thank you enough. You've given me hope when all I could see was darkness. Thank God for his blessings."

Carol grinned and stood up, opening her arms. Laughing, Becca leaped up and they hugged, the happy woman squeezing Carol just as hard as she had her husband. When they parted and sat again, Becca's face was flushed with joy.

"When can we get started?" she asked Carol.

"Um, well, I'll be making an appointment with my doctor for a checkup, to make sure it's even possible. Beyond that, I should be, um..." she trailed off, her face burning at what she was about to say. "I'm, um, open for business this weekend, as it were. Is that okay? Too soon?" She'd checked her cycle before they came over and she should be ovulating then.

"This weekend sounds perfect. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh yes!" She turned to Andy. "We have some shopping to do. We're going to take good care of her!"