Healing Mom

It has been a stressful year since my dad died suddenly at the tender age of 44. He was driving in from out of town business when a jackknifed tractor trailer spun out of control, striking his car and killing him instantly. That part over time lessened in the sadness my mom and I felt over his loss, but my mom suffered much more because she was on the phone with him as it occurred and her nightmares persist to this day.

She went into therapy to recount that day and some of her issues were tamed but her overall health both mental and physical continued to be at risk.

My mom is a beautiful person in every way. In her earlier years in college she was a head cheerleader as well as the homecoming queen. Her beauty was on display as she was first runner up in the Ms Ohio pageant. Growing up all my friends envied me not only for the exceptional looks of my mom but she was also a sweet and giving person. She related with kids and adults alike and everyone either loved her or liked her immensely.

I was off at college, my final year when dad passed. I wanted to dropout to help mom but she would have none of it. In fact we had the service and burial over a weekend so I would not miss school. Even then I noticed her coping skills, if she had any, they were not working. Those two days she was in a fog with mostly family and friends making all the arrangements. The most she could do was sob or bob her head up and down while my grandparents were making funeral arrangements.

When the fog lifted, or as soon as she was talking again and back working, her enthusiasm for life was gone. Life was by the numbers, just going thru the motions. I tried as often as I could to come home, but with the pressure to graduate on time, it became less and less often.

But finally I did and it was the first time in a long while, when Mom finally smiled, however briefly. She had come down for the graduation with my grandparents, and while they were ecstatic, Mom could not get through her deep grief to show real joy. It was sad and I tried to comfort her, but with my friends all around high fiving and wanting to party, I did not have a lot of time alone with her. I also did not have the heart to tell her about the job offer I received that would place me over 1,000 miles from her and home. I just knew that would only dampen the fleeting joy she felt at that moment.

Based on that, I knew I needed to speak with my mom without distractions, so I redid our plans leaving college. Originally, with mom driving down with grams and grandpa, they would take my stuff in the SUV and I would follow in my car, which was a compact. But I asked them to take my stuff and I would stay another night in the hotel with mom, so we could talk and then spend some time together as we drove home in my car. Everyone agreed to the plan and I could see a hint of a smile on mom as she helped pack my stuff.

I had told everyone of my plan after they had checked out of the motel which I did not feel was a major problem as we would just check back in. After getting the grandparents off, fully loaded with my dorm room possessions, mom and I headed out for a quick meal before driving over to the motel. Mom was inquisitive to say the least, asking why all the secrecy and such and being quite funny about it. My job offer was being saved for the actual drive home, so I bantered with her and was just happy that she acted a little spry with me.

We had several glasses of wine with dinner and we relaxed but had also lost track of time as it was almost 9PM. The motel parking lot was full and I had to drive all the way in the back to find a spot. It was looking like a lot of my classmates had my idea, spend the night in this hotel and get an early morning start. Still I had no concerns as we entered the lobby and inquired about a room.

Right away the manager looked at my mom with recognition and said she should not have checked out this morning as they were full. Since the next place to stay was 70 miles away, almost a third of the way home, I was crushed. With the move out of the dorm, the graduation, I was not looking forward to driving several hours this night. Mom took it all in stride and asked again if there was anything the manager could do.

He looked again at his computer and said they did have one room left but had taken it off the available list as the bathtub faucet leaked and the air conditioner was making a funny noise. They would have a repair man in the morning and wanted to leave it off the rentable space. I asked, kind of in desperation if we could see the room and if those items did not bother us, could we have it. He was not too comfortable with that, but said if we could stand it, we could rent it.

The room itself was in good shape. Since the nights had been cool over the last several days, the need for the air conditioner to be in prime shape was not a huge factor. And as for the drip, well you had to be in the bathroom to even hear it, so a towel in the basin or closing the door would solve that. I immediately said after leaving the room we would take it. The manager told us to follow him and he would register us in. As we were walking, mom was tugging on my sleeve in an effort to get my attention. Finally I had enough and asked her what it was.

"Honey, she said with concern in her voice, did you notice that there was only one bed?"

Honestly, I had missed it. I just wanted to crash and in my efforts to ok the obvious imperfections in the room; I did not pay attention to the other things in there.

"That's fine, I assured mom, I can sleep on the floor or chair."

"But it is a wooden chair."

"It will be fine, now let's get signed in and back to the room, I'm beat."

After getting the keys, I went to the car to get mom's suitcase and some of my gear. While out there I thought how horrible could it be, most hotels beds were either queen or king. Mom is 5'6 or so, I'm 6 foot; we could fit easy for one night.

Entering the room with my arms and hands full, Mom was standing by the bed, a full bed, no queen or king. Even if we were to lie on our sides on the edges, for sure our butts would be smacking together. I could also see the look on Mom's face as she glanced at the bed and then at me. I was going to put her at ease no matter what.

"Mom the bed is yours; I'll have no trouble crashing in here somewhere."

"No honey, you take the bed, I have a lot of problems sleeping anyway. It's been a long and tiring day for you."

"Absolutely not, you're in the bed. I got extra pillows and stuff from my dorm that will get me comfy. End of story."

After mom got some stuff from her bag and went in to take a shower, I surveyed the room closely. Besides a small round table that wobbled a bit, we had two wooden chairs and a low profile dresser which held the TV. The only option was the floor. We had two spare pillows and the bed roll which I knew mom would not use. An extra blanket in the sliding closet and that was it. I've roughed it before; this would be piece of cake. I laid my bed stuff out and waited for mom to finish so I could take a quick rinse.

When mom came out and saw my so called bed, she got upset and told me no way was I going to sleep on the floor. I passed her by, hands on her hips, as I rushed into the bath for a leak and rinse.

When I came out mom had taken my so called bed apart and told me there was room in the bed. Reluctantly I laid on the edge of the bed, scrunched up and tried my best to get comfortable. I felt the bed sag as my mother now laid down, only to scoff at me and the position I was in. She grabbed my shoulder and pushed me on my back at which point I stretched my legs and arms straight. Mom lay on her side with her back to me so we had some space between us.

I was dressed in a t shirt and sleeping shorts, mom had on a full length night shirt which covered everything. With my body now able to relax and not be bundled up, I quickly fell into a light sleep, a kind of pre sleep if you will. I was resting but I was still noticing sounds and smell in the room, but really was too relaxed to be bothered.

My ear caught a type of whimpering sound, very faint, but still in the quiet of the room, it was amplified. Turning my head toward mom I discovered her body with a slight tremble to it and realized that the sound I was hearing were tiny sobs coming from her. Concerned she was upset, I gently touched her shoulder as softly as I could and asked her what was wrong. I did not get a response, so I again very gently, shook her by the shoulder.

Mom stopped sobbing and turned her head slightly, enough that she saw my worried face.

"What is it Jimmy?"

"Mom, you were crying and I got worried when you didn't respond. What's bothering you that you can't get any rest?"

"It's nothing dear. Just go back to sleep."

"It's not nothing mom. Why don't you talk to me, maybe I can help in some way."

"Jimmy you are so sweet, but there is nothing you can do. I just miss your dad terribly and only time can help me, I hope."

That last part startled me "I hope." What did that infer? Was mom so distraught that she might be thinking of some drastic action? As hard as I tried for her to open up to me, the more resilient she became to the point she asked me to leave her alone and get to sleep.

I don't know for how long I remained awake, but when I felt comfortable that mom was not sobbing anymore, I dozed off. I half awoke to feel hair in my nostrils and a dreamy fragrance surrounding me. For a moment I thought I might be in a dream but I quickly discovered that at some point, I had lain on my back and mom had rolled into me. My arm was outstretched with her head cradled in my shoulder, her breathing hitting me at the base of the neck. He hand was placed softly on my chest, fingers spread out, not moving. The heat of her body pressed into mine felt wonderful as if it was the softest down blanket ever made. Her knee and upper thigh was straddling my hip and I was definitely confined by her body.

I know the size of the bed was the culprit in this scene, but there was little I could do. My dilemma increased when I noticed the rise of the light blanket covering us both. I was lying in this compromising position with a major hard on. Perhaps in my sleep the little fellow woke up, but at this point it was nothing that I wanted. Peering through the soft light we still had in the room revealed another nightmare; mom's leg was but inches from my erection and one small movement on her part or mine would cause a collision.

I had to think of what to do. Wake mom and embarrass her and myself; keep still till morning or if she moved to slide away. Looking into mom's face she seemed content and was sound asleep, something I didn't want to mess up since she suffered so much from lack of it. Another fact registering in my brain now were her tits, which were mashed into my side and the stiffness of her nipples were rubbing through her nightshirt and my tee.

Suddenly without any warning, mom was groaning out soft moans. This was slowly followed by her fingers, resting on my chest up till now, start to move around and encircle and play with my nipple through my shirt. Her leg, so precariously close to my erection, also was moving and not in the right direction. My decision was being made for me; it was to wake her up.

"Mom, mom wake up."

"Jack my Jack" Mom said with a soft moan.

This was all well and good, but I was not Jack. My name is Jimmy and Jack was my father's name. Could it be that mom was in a deep dream and the man she was cuddling she envisioned as her late husband?

I had to do something and do it quick, for mom's hand had left my pectoral area and was sliding down my abdomen and heading for my cock which stood tall like a lighthouse. Her knee slapped at my cock, which coaxed another soft moan from her throat.

"Mom, its Jimmy, your son Jimmy, it's not Jack. Please wake up." I spoke quite loudly.

"Jack I've been so alone, I have missed you so terribly." Mom's words were slurred but clear enough that she still must have felt that it was Jack with her.

It was now or never as I tried my best to sit upright and forcibly remove my mother from my body. The sad fact is I failed for when I pushed she had encircled my cock with her hand and anchored herself to my shaft. All I accomplished was for her to be more on my body.

Mom's body was parallel to mine with the fact that she was facing down and I, up. Her face was very close to my crotch and her thigh was touching my cheekbone. This was beyond awkward and scary. Now granted my mom was very sexy and the chance to "do" her fleetingly crossed my mind growing up. But this was something else compounded by the fact her emotional health was so fragile. Now if I was a little stoned or drunk, I would take all I could get, hell, I'm no saint. But I was as sober as a preacher on Sunday and I was scared.

My efforts to physically and verbally remove or wake her were fruitless. I guess one of my options was for this to play out and worry about the fallout later. I did not feel guilty nor did I want mom to.

Mom was stroking my cock now, from the base all the way to the tip, all the while moaning out "Jack." Abruptly, without warning or fanfare, mom's face was above my ready rod and began to lick and suck on me. The fear gnawing in my gut slowly dissipated replaced by the warmth and wetness of an expert set of lips and tongue. Now I had my first blowjob in high school by Cindy Lee, and then a few more in college, mostly from girls at frat parties to wasted to know really what they were doing or how to do it. But this experience was something completely different. Not the fact that it was my mom, but that it was indescribable. Some feelings cannot be put into words, nor should they. All my nerve sensors were being tested and were working well, responding to the adoration of my dick. Nothing sexual I've ever experienced before could stand knee high to this feeling as mom treated my raging cock to the ecstasy of her skills and experience. I was lost in the sea of lust as I failed to notice what my mother was doing next. Sliding her legs over, she raised one leg and straddled my face, placing me in the direct line of sight of her gorgeous pussy. From there emitted a wonderful aroma of damp lubrication and fluids, in fact as her leg went over my face, a droplet of her free flowing juices dripped on the tip of my nose.

I don't know exactly what held me back from diving into her hole with my mouth; maybe it was because she was mom. I know for a fact that it wasn't because I didn't enjoy it; in fact it was most pleasurable thing when I've done it before, even when the pussy was not so inviting. But hold back I did while having that delicious opening just an inch away. Whether my mom grew impatient or what I don't know, but suddenly I felt a sharp stab into my nut sack which instead of painful, caused my balls to bob, like beach balls in a pool. How I could maintain holding my load back was going to be an issue.

Unable to resist any longer and obviously following mom's wish, I slurped at her cunt with all I knew and had. She responded with her legs quivering and contracting her pussy causing more juice to flow out and meet my tongue. That sharp stab was mom's nails as they raked over my scrotum and caused my cock to harden more.

In between slurping on me, mom would moan out "Jack" and "Oh Jack" over and over. Mom was for sure having an out of body experience and she was taking me along with her. My body was racing with lust and desire as my manhood was being engulfed and my mouth was feasting on the glory hole. The harder I nibbled on her clit the more juice would flow. My face became drenched and I loved every droplet of it. How I kept from erupting so far was beyond me as my cock felt bloated and needed release. Wondering how mom would take it should I suddenly go off; I needn't have worried. A surge of cum exploded from me right inside her vacuum of a mouth and I felt the force of her throat as she swallowed again and again. As I fired into her warm mouth, mom's pussy would contract and she would spit out her own juices to correspond with mine.

The intensity of our joint orgasm was the most joyous moment of my life. I had never experience such a rush of pleasure before and in the moments afterward I just laid still, soaking it all in if you will.

The ache in my gut slowly returned since it was time to come clean. Hell I just had a sexual experience with my mom for heavens sake. No matter how or why it happened, I had the responsibility to not let it happen.

Not hearing anything or noticing any movement, I peered down towards mom's face. She was sound asleep with a slight smile on her face and a dribble of cum leaking from the corner of her mouth. I was able to free myself now from her body and she was like a limp rag, and half ran to the bathroom. My cock was still semi hard, lipstick marks covering the head. I cleaned myself up a little and grabbed a damp washcloth on the way out. I tried to clean mom up a little; at least the cum dribble from her mouth.

I sat up in bed for what seemed like an eternity wondering what tomorrow would bring. My biggest concern, no fear, was that mom would be destroyed by this and her emotional state would be beyond repair and it would all be my fault.

It is impossible for the body to function well under this much stress and before to long I to was asleep, but fitfully. I did wake before mother who was still asleep with her body in the opposite direction in the bed. It was later than I thought, so I slipped out quietly and took a quick shower and threw on my clothes and exited the room. I did find the café still open for breakfast and gathered some items up on a tray, with two coffee's and took them back to our room. Mom was in the process of stirring a little.

With a nervous stomach I told her I had coffee and a light breakfast to which she sat up and stretched her limbs and stated as a matter of fact said she had a great night and was really rested. She made no reference or acted in any way to reveal that she remembered last night and the carnal activity we did together.

Could it be real that mom did not remember? Was she so lost in the desire for my dad that she could dream him to be real? Man, the questions roaring through my head were endless. We ate our breakfast in relative silence, but watching mom, she ate with zest as if she was famished. Me, I picked at the food, my current thoughts consumed by a host of things, even to the point of consequences, such as what happens when we are home, and will mom want to keep this up?

I suddenly realized that I could not answer any of my nagging questions, till it came out if mom remembered our coupling. If she didn't I only had my conscious to deal with; if she did we were at a whole different level. I was dead set at the idea of me speaking first.

Mom gave me no concern that she was upset or angry as we packed up, checked out and drove off. If fact, her tone, pace and spirit seemed to be 180 degrees from yesterday. Maybe, just maybe I had done a service last night.

We were about an hour into our drive home, when mom opened up by asking why I was so quiet. I responded by telling her I was just thinking. Of course, wrong answer, the comeback was "about what?"

I always had a hard time lying to my parents, especially mom. Once when I was just a kid, maybe 9 or 10, I had shoplifted a toy I wanted. Of course I lied about it when caught; my mother broke down in tears in front of the store owner. I never wanted to see that again, so talk about scared straight, I was.

So it was with a great deal of guilt I answered her with "about nothing."

We arrived home after an uneventful drive only commenting about things we passed or saw on the way. I never broached the topic of my job offer out of state, simply because I was fearful of her response.