"Ma, when are you going to get yourself a boyfriend?"
"I might have one already for all you know Larry."
"Yeah right, and where are you hiding him, because if you had one, I'd know."
"I'm hiding him in plain sight, he's just so easy to see, but you're just not looking in the right places."
"Yeah right ma, it's been two years since you and Dad split and he wouldn't mind, he's got Sarah now and you two still get on all right, you just drifted apart. You waited until both your kids had finished high school. We never heard you arguing even, and now you need to find someone else and get on with your life, you're not even forty five until next year."
Just then the patio door opened and Greg from next door walked in, "Hi folks do you mind if I hide in here for a while, world war three has just broken out at my place?"
"No come right in Greg, what's wrong this time?"
"Thanks Jane, it's their wedding anniversary today so Mum booked dinner at a flash restaurant for tonight, and then he told her this morning his boss had just rung and told him he has to fly out on business this afternoon. Well when the boss rang back a little while later, mum took the call, and he told her he was really pleased that dad had volunteered to go, so she's pissed at him."
Greg and his family had lived next door for three years, and for about a year after he moved in, he'd dated my elder sister until she met the man of her dreams, got married and moved to the other side of town. He was pretty cut up about it at first but surprisingly got over it quite quickly, and we're still good friends and see a lot of him.
We sat and talked for about a half an hour, and then we heard a door slam followed by a car starting and then driving away. Mum jumped up saying "I'll go and make sure that Bess is ok."
She came back an hour later saying, "we're going to have a Bar-B-Que tonight to celebrate Bess' anniversary, not his though. I'm not going to let her sit at home by herself on such a special day. We've got about a dozen people coming over, it's all we could get as most people are already going out on Saturday night."
So we set about making salads and other stuff for the Bar-B-Que, before long people started to arrive, we finished the preparation and carried it into next door. As always as soon as I walked in my eyes were drawn to Gregs' mum Bess, she was something special with a head full of red curls which fell down all over her shoulders. She had a great body for a woman who'd had two kids, I'd had the hots for her for ages and sometimes I thought she knew and responded to me a little, and then she seemed to draw back, and I then knew that I'd almost made a fool of myself, thank god I'd never made a move on her, all hell would have broken out if I had.
It was a fairly low key affair but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Greg and I did the cooking except for a few minutes when he danced with my mum, and then came back and said that he thought that I should dance with Bess.
As I did, I told her how nice she looked, she was a pretty woman who seemed to always dress well. She was wearing a tight fitting silk dress which showed off her figure very nicely. She said very softly "thank you Larry," she then put her head on my shoulder, but looked a bit embarrassed.
Most people had come in casual clothes, in fact Greg, Mum and I hadn't even changed, so if anything, she was overdressed but given that she always dressed a bit better than anyone else I just accepted it.
When I went back to Greg I said, "Your Mum always looks pretty but she looks extra good tonight, has she made a special effort for some reason?"
"Yes I think so, she certainly has come up well."
"Someone?"
"Could be."
"Who?"
"We'll probably find out later."
I looked around to see who it may be, but couldn't see anyone who wasn't with someone, maybe I'd missed something, or someone, I looked forward to finding out who the new interest in her life was, she was of course married to his dad which didn't seem to bother Greg at all.
Just after 8:30 a thunderstorm which was forecast to go 100 miles to the south hit us hard with high winds and driving rain. People came running in, and as the storm showed no signs of abating, they started to leave, as many had left windows open or were concerned about pets.
So that by 9:00 all had left, which sat well with me as I wanted to see a soccer match from Spain, Barcelona were playing Real Madrid, always a top show. Dave knew this and turned on the television just as the game was starting, I sat down and Bess bought me a beer and some nuts, so I was set.
The other three sat to one side talking for about fifteen minutes when mum started to yawn and declared that she was going to go home. Bess said, "Greg walk Jane home and then come back to watch the game with Larry."
"Right Mum, come on Jane let's go."
Bess came and sat next to me and we watched the game until half time when I realised that Greg wasn't back yet.
"Where's Greg?"
She smiled at me, "He's not coming back tonight."
I looked blank, "What?"
"He's not coming back tonight, he's staying with Jane."
I sat with my mouth open, not quite prepared to allow myself to accept what it was that she was saying to me.
"What do you mean he's staying with Mum?"
"He's staying with Jane, haven't you worked it out yet?"
I was in shock, I sat there mumbling something about not understanding what was going on, whilst at the same time fully realising what she was saying, but my brain was refusing to accept the fact.
"Staying with Mum, my Mum, tonight, together?"
"Yes."
"How long has this been going on?" I demanded angrily.
"Almost two years," she said with a smile on her face.
I sprang to my feet, "He's been fucking my Mum for two years, and you never thought to tell me?"
"First of all he isn't just fucking her, and I don't like that word anyway thank you Larry. What's happening is that they're making love, he's a kind considerate lover who looks after her, and respects her. The age difference means there's little chance of it lasting forever, but right now they're good together, and are just enjoying their time with each other, and as for telling you Larry, well is it any of your business?"
"Bullshit I'm going over there now to put a stop to it, once and for all."
"That's a bit hypocritical isn't it Larry?"
"What do you mean?"
"You thought you were such a super stud when you were screwing Aileen Macgregor from your work, when her husband was away, and that's all it was, just screwing, nothing more, nothing less, just screwing."
I sat down, chastened, "how did you know about Aileen?"
"Doesn't matter, I know, and your Mum knows, just hope that Ray Macgregor never does."
In a small voice, almost a whisper, I said, "but it's been going on for two years now."
"Yes."
"How often?"
"Oh two or three times a week, sometimes here sometimes there, whatever they could organise."
"And you've known all along?"
"Yes, from day one actually."
"Doesn't bother you?"
"Not one scrap, as a matter of fact I often go out so that they can be together here."
"Now I know why he got over my sister so quickly."
"Yep, it was a big help for him."
"So what am I supposed to do now, just sleep in my room and listen to them banging away?" I was starting to get angry again.
"Well no," she paused, "you can stay here, you've done that before," again she paused, and then quickly added as if to get it out before she changed her mind, "there're three beds and you can pick which one you want to sleep in."
I looked at her and she smiled back at me, it was very difficult for me to look her in the eyes because as she spoke, her nipples were now poking out a full half an inch. She was also a bright shade of red.
We were silent for some seconds as I pondered what she'd just said.
I turned to face her, "let me get this right Bess, I have a choice of any one of the three beds in this house, is that correct?" At this point my heart was racing at the possibilities running through my mind.