Being able to fix things can get you into some unusual situations, especially when family imposes on your abilities. I fix computers -- I work from home and get my share of freebie family repair requests. The prospect of rebuilding my mother-in-law's computer was not one I relished; she almost never used it, and I was wondering why she asked me to get her back online.
I thought Mary was too old to do much on the Net, but I guess it's all a matter of perspective. After several days of avoiding the unsavory task, I installed the new drive, and started the recovery process. Anne, my step-daughter, walked in to check my progress.
"When are you gonna' take Granny's computer back to her? She was wondering, but didn't want to bother you."
Right, but Anne didn't mind; neither did I.
"No bother. I'll probably be another hour or two. What's she in such a hurry about? I never figured her as much of a net-person, if you know what I mean."
Strangely, Anne blushed before she answered. "You can't tell her or Mom I told you anything," she whispered. Anne's twenty-three, and looks just as hot as her mother. She looked over her shoulder to assure our privacy.
"Two weeks ago when Fred went into the hospital, I had the most bizarre conversation with her." Anne looked around again. "It was about sex. For some reason she felt compelled to tell me that she hadn't had an orgasm in over eighteen years. That's when Fred had his first stroke. One of the side-effects of his medicine was ED."
I was a little surprised. Mary never alluded to anything sexual at all. She was only 59, and maintained a slim figure with her healthy lifestyle - lots of swimming and gardening kept her tanned and toned. She kept her hair short and tinted, and looked like she could have been Anne's mother -- but then Susan looked like she could have been Anne's sister instead of her mother, too.
Anne looked around and continued. "I felt so sorry for her -- it was so sad. She's so pretty, and I wanted to help her. I asked her if she ever masturbated. She said no, never, that she'd never done that, and wouldn't even know where to start. That's where the computer came in."
This was going in an unexpected direction.
She looked around again. " I figured she didn't have any toys, so I went online with her and pretty much forced her into a shopping spree. I used her credit card and got a couple of vibrators, some oils, some sexy lingerie, ben-wa balls, a strap-on clit vibrator with a wireless remote... you get the picture, I guess."
Amazing. "She let you do that? What did she say? Was she even around for this?"
"Around? By the time we were checking out, her hands were shaking. She could barely get the card out of her purse. I thought she was just nervous, but she was actually aroused. I could tell."
"How? " I asked. "Did you ask her or something?"
Anne rolled her eyes. "Of course not. You know Granny has the biggest nipples in the world. I know you do. Everybody does. She can't even keep those things harnessed in church, and I know you've seen them poking through her bathing suit, or her shirts when you go help in the garden. You're a man; you can't help but notice things like that."
She looked down at her chest, then brought her eyes up to stare directly into mine. "Just like you can't help but notice my nipples. Hers are bigger, but mine make a statement of their own. Besides, you've seen them on a couple of occasions in their full glory."
Anne was right. Once she started to develop, I think her nipples developed fully overnight, leaving the rest of her chest to catch up. And they did. Her "girls" blossomed to a pair of incredible 36Ds that were impossible to ignore. And I didn't -- never had.
Raising a step-daughter through the teen years, the sight of nubile, naked flesh darting through halls and bathrooms could not be ignored. The added thrill of having a popular step-daughter merely added to the variety. I have cataloged mental images of every one of Anne's friends in various states of undress -- some topless, some bottomless, some nude asses, and some nude mounds (not beavers, since this younger generation seems to go for the "built-for-speed" look of total baldness).
I know Anne had started shaving her pubes years ago -- discovered that when I kept missing my razor, only to find it in her bathroom. I asked, and was bluntly told that she needed to shave, and the cheap razors Susan bought for her left bumps (at which point she blatantly scratched her crotch, daring me to continue the conversation).
As I held her stare now, I did not look at her tits. She did, looking down at her chest, then thrusting her nipples in my direction.
"Talking about Granny has my nipples on full beam. See?"
I looked. She was right. Her nipples were poking obscenely through the fabric of her shirt.
"What's with that, Anne? Why does Mary's sexual drought have you so obviously turned on?"
I looked back up to see her staring at me, watching me ogle her nipples through her thin shirt. "I brought her one of my books. A book on female masturbation. She was so embarrassed. I made her sit down with me and we started looking through the chapters.