Part One: How it Got Started
When I arrived home from school I noticed Grandma's car parked in front of the house. She rarely came over unless plans for her to do so had been made, but that's not to say she was unwelcome. I mean, hey, she did have a key to our place, after all, and Mom and Dad never minded her popping in whenever she saw fit to do so. I headed straight for the kitchen as I knew that was more than likely where she would be, and sure enough she was rummaging through the pots and pans. "Hi, Grandma," I called out to her as I lay my bookbag on the table.
She lifted her head, smiled, then said, "Do you know where your mother keeps her Dutch oven?"
I thought for a moment, then went to the pantry, and sure enough there it was, on the bottom shelf. I pulled it out as I told Grandma I had found it, then set it on the table next to my bookbag. Grandma stood, made to dust herself off even though she wasn't soiled in the slightest, then approached me. She pinched my cheeks as she placed a brief grandmotherly kiss of greeting on my lips and said, "Whatever would I do without you?"
"Lucky for you, you'll never have to find out," I said. "You're going to live forever."
Grandma burst into loud, boisterous laughter as she tousled my hair. "I'm glad at least one of us thinks so."
"Oh, you just have to," I said with a mock plea. "I wouldn't know what to do if you left me."
She smiled a genuine smile of love at me, then pulled my head to her bosom and hugged me. Yes, it was literally at her bosom. You see, Grandma stood six-foot-two as opposed to my five-ten, so my head and face always ended up pressed firmly against her cleavage. It was warm, soft yet firm, and even though I thought nothing of it in my youth, once puberty kicked in it really began to hold a different sensation for me. I never said anything about that, even after all these years, but I kind of thought she knew.
"So, how was school today?" she asked as she released me.
"Okay for the most part, Grandma. Today in Psych we discussed—Oh! Never mind."
"What?" she asked.
"It's nothing," I said.
"Well, it sure as hell doesn't sound like 'nothing.' What are you keeping from me?"
I sighed. "It was about sex."
"Mmmmm-
Hmmmm
," she said as she eyed me, one eyebrow raised questioningly. "When you first learned about the birds and the bees, was it your parents or your friends you went to?"
"I went to you, Grandma," I answered.
"Oh, that's right. How could have I forgotten?" she asked mockingly. "And when you were first ready to have sex, was it your friends or your parents you confided in?"
I sighed resignedly. Once again, I answered, "It was you, Grandma."
"So, what makes you think I can't handle what your teacher discusses in your class?" she asked.
"Because, it's ... It was weird enough talking about it in class. It made me think ... No, I really don't want to discuss this with you, Grandma, so can you please just respect that?"
She looked at me and smiled that same genuinely loving smile at me. "Lance, we don't have to discuss a thing. Let your mother know I came and got the Dutch Oven."
"Let me carry—"
"I can manage just fine, dear. Have a nice night," and with that, she was gone.
I felt bad about shutting her down like I did. Grandma meant the world to me. I decided I'd call her later and apologize.
When Mom got home from work she called upstairs to me. I came out of my room to meet her at the stairs. "Your father should be here in about ten minutes, then we're heading over to your grandmother's for dinner."
"We're eating with Grandma tonight?" I asked, surprised as shit. Why didn't she tell me?
"She
did
come by and get the Dutch oven, didn't she?" Mom asked.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Stewed ribs," Mom said with a smile as she turned and made her way to her room. I watched her go. She may have been Grandma's daughter, but the Amazon gene seemed to have skipped her. Me, too. Not my sister Suzanne, though. She was Grandma up and down.
Dad arrived, freshened up, then we all piled into the Cherokee and made our way to Grandma's house. What can I say? The food was delicious. The ribs swam in a thick gravy with huge chunks of onion and peppers, all of which found their way onto my mashed potatoes, and the broccoli was steamed perfectly. I shouldn't have done it, simply because I wasn't hungry, but I had second helpings of everything just because it tasted so damned good. Mom took a picture of it and sent it to Suzanne, who was away at Wellesley. She immediately responded that Grandma would have to make that plus all her favorites upon her return.
In an effort to seek forgiveness, I offered to wash dishes and clean the kitchen. Grandma tried to fight me on this, but I fought harder and insisted. She finally acquiesced. Thirty minutes later she entered the kitchen and saw me preparing to mop. "Sakes alive, Lance. Mopping also?"
"I'm just trying to make sure everything is clean, Grandma."
She disappeared, then five minutes later reappeared and said, "Your folks have gone home. Don't worry, I told them I'd take you when you were done."
"I'm just finishing up now," I told her. "I'll be along directly."
I entered the living room approximately five minutes later to find Grandma enjoying a Jack Daniels on the rocks. "Want one?" she asked, knowing I still had better than half a year before I was legally able to do so. She knew I drank outside Mom and Dad's house, and she and I had even talked over a drink here and there in the past, so her offering me one wasn't out of the ordinary.
"Uh ... "Sure," I answered. She fixed me a glass that was about three-fourths full and passed it to me. "Thanks, Grandma." Before she sat, I downed it and asked for another. She smiled and obliged me, telling me to sip this one, but I gulped it, too.
"Land sakes, boy. What's gotten into you?" she asked me.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Grandma. I didn't mean to shut you out like I did. It's just ..."
"Lance, whatever it is, if it's this difficult to discuss then you don't have to."
I took a deep breath, then said, "My Psyche instructor made an off-hand remark about younger people thinking sex ends after fifty. He went on to say that many people in their seventies, eighties, and even their nineties still crave and enjoy sex. I made the comment, 'So what you're saying is that for the enterprising young lad, working in a senior facility is the way to go.' Of course, you can imagine the entire class saying 'Ewwww' to that, but Mr. Groves told the class that I was correct, and he even brought up the gaining popularity of GILF porn to substantiate this."
"GILF porn?" Grandma asked. "What is that, Lance?"
"It's sex between young men and older women," I told her.
"So, why is it called 'GILF?'" I burst into laughter. "It there something funny about it?"
"No, ma'am. You see, there are two different classifications: MILFs and GILFs. MILF stands for Mothers I'd Like to ... You know."
"No, I don't."
"You're really going to make me say it, Grandma?"
"How else can I understand it if I don't know exactly what it means, Lance?"
I chuckled, then said, "It means 'fuck,' Grandma. Mothers I'd Like to Fuck. Then there's GILFs, which is Grandmothers I'd Like to Fuck."
"Oh," she responded. There was some surprise in her voice, but not much. After about twenty seconds worth of silence, she asked, "So, have you ever watched any of this GILF porn?"
I couldn't find voice to answer. I couldn't even look her in the eye. I just now noticed how much I had been staring at her huge breasts the entirety of this conversation, so to keep from calling any further attention to myself, I kept my head bowed as I slightly nodded my head.
"And when you watch it, what does it do for you?" she asked.
"This is why I didn't want to talk about it, Grandma. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable."
"But maybe talking about it will help to alleviate your feelings of discomfort," she suggested.
I stood and fixed myself another drink, gulping it down as I had done the previous two. I fixed another and returned with it to my seat. I took a sip, then said, "I've watched it."