Going Down

My sister was still asleep when I got up and quietly showered, dressed, and left for work. I thought of what we'd done during the entire drive to my office and found myself hugely distracted all morning. I struggled to keep my mind on my work because images of my sister sucking my cock and then riding me kept coming back and haunting me. How could I have let her do that? I was a monster. Mom and Dad would kill me.

At lunch, I went out with Manny, my supervisor. I told him my sister was living with me for the summer.

"Is she hot?" he asked.

I grimaced. "I didn't notice," I said.

In fact, she was very hot. With wavy dark hair and bright blue eyes, huge breasts and long legs, she was the epitome of a hot woman. I sure as hell didn't want my boss thinking about her that way.

"Invite me over," he said. "I'll let you know whether she's a dog or not."

"She's not a dog," I said.

He laughed. "So, you did notice. How tall is she?"

"I don't know," I said. "About here." I raised my hand so it was level with my nose. I was six-one, so that put her at probably five-ten in her heels, so maybe five-seven or five-eight without the shoes.

"She's tall then," Manny said. "I love tall bitches. Does she go for older men?"

"I'm not introducing you to my sister," I said. "Just forget it."

He smirked. "I'm not looking to be your brother-in-law. But if she's a co-ed on summer break, she's probably looking for a little action, if you catch my drift. Something short term."

"What would your wife think of that?" I asked.

"God, Jacob. You are such a killjoy. Who put that rod up your ass? Live a little, man. That's an order."

Of course, part of the reason I always had so much work was that Manny didn't carry his fair share and dumped it on me. I worked overtime so he could come in late and leave early. I glared at him, but he didn't notice, or, at least, pretended not to notice.

"Tell your sister to meet us for lunch tomorrow," he said. "I want to check her out."

"Right," I said.

"I'm serious," he said.

"I know," I said. "I will."

* * *

All afternoon, I thought alternately about Manny's conversation and about Linda fucking me. The thought of her doing something with my boss made me ill. Was I jealous? I'd never been in a position remotely like this before.

I decided it was really none of my business who Linda did what with. Except...she'd kind of made it my business.

I stopped for dinner on my way home late and didn't get to our townhouse until after eight. I opened the door with a heavy heart. My sister was on the couch in the living room, wrapped in a pink fuzzy throw I was sure wasn't mine and watching television. She turned to look at me and her face was unreadable.

"Hi," was all I could think to say.

"Hi," she said. "You're home late."

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry. I had a lot of work to do."

I didn't know why I was apologizing. She had no business waiting for me. She wasn't my girlfriend. Or, was she?

The image of her sucking my cock flashed into my head and I fled the room and ran upstairs. She followed me, right into my room. I took my suit coat off and hung it up, then fiddled with my tie. She came to me and took over, undoing my tie smoothly and sliding it off my neck. She was in a tight white tank top that showed off her nipples and the dark circles around them, as well as very short shorts that left most of her legs uncovered. She was barefoot and still smelled like peppermint and milk chocolate.

She undid my shirt, button by button, and it was as if I was in a daze—I couldn't bring myself to stop her. She slid the open shirt off my shoulders and ran her hands down my bare arms. Blood rushed to my cock and I gulped.

"Linda," I said. "We can't do this."

She looked up at me and I saw longing in her eyes, and that terrified me.

"We can, and we did, Jacob," she said.

I remembered something she'd said to me once, that we'd never be lonely because we'd always have each other. At the time I'd brushed it off, but looking back, I suddenly realized she had been hinting for years that she thought getting together with me was an actual option. In a flash, I saw us when we were little, and she had always wanted to play house, where I was the dad and she was the mom and her dolls were our babies. Why had I ever encouraged her?

She slid down my body, got on her knees, and unzipped my fly. Before I could do anything, she had my cock out and in her mouth. I was fully hard almost instantly from her sucking.

Apparently, when my cock is in a woman's mouth, my brain completely disconnects from my behavior and I'm totally incapable of rational thought. At least, I couldn't find any other way to explain the fact I let my sister give me a blow job.

She licked my shaft and sucked the head of my cock, stimulating my balls and what she couldn't fit in her mouth with her fingers. I put my hands on her head and encouraged her to take my cock deeper inside her, almost choking her. I was weak-kneed as paroxysms of ecstasy shot through me with every suck and swallow.

I fought orgasm as long as I could, which wasn't long. She grimaced as I shuddered and spewed cum into her throat, then she gagged and ran to the bathroom, spitting my semen into her hand. I didn't care. I couldn't believe I'd let her have her way with me. What the hell was wrong with me?

I threw my shirt off, disgusted with myself, then stripped and pulled on sweatpants and a tee-shirt. Linda came back from the bathroom after gargling with my mouthwash. She looked vaguely sheepish.

"Sorry about that," she said. "I'm not a swallower yet. It's the texture that gets me. That gooey, sticky feeling." She made a displeased face for a moment, then brightened up and gave me a wicked smile. "I guess we'll have to practice a lot more."

I moved away from her, to the other side of the room. "I'm your brother, Linda. I'm not your boyfriend. That's it. We're not having sex anymore. Oral, or otherwise."

She stared at me. "You said last night that you loved me."

"I do," I said. "But as my sister. Not as my lover."

Her face contorted with emotions, which went from confused, to hurt, to unbelievably angry.

"You bastard," she said. "You let me suck your cock and now you tell me you're breaking up with me?"

I winced. She was right, it was pure assholery. What was done was done, though.

"I'm not breaking up with you, because we were never together, Linda. Just because you threw yourself at me a couple of times—that doesn't mean anything."

Her eyes widened. "I threw myself at you?! What kind of crock is that? You were just as into it as I was."

"I can't help that," I said. "I'm a man. I'm wired for sex. I'm telling you, it doesn't mean anything."

I heard myself saying these terrible things to Linda, yet I knew as the words came out of my mouth that they were lies. Of course, I'd had a choice; I chose to fuck my sister. Twice now.

She searched my face with her indigo eyes. She was tearing up and seeing that sheen of pain squeezed my heart like a vise. I was, without a doubt, the world's biggest jackass, mired in so much self-delusion that I couldn't see what I had, standing right there in front of me.

"Please, can we start over?" I asked. "Pretend none of this ever happened?"

She turned and ran from the room. I ran after her and she slammed her bedroom door in my face. I stood there for a while listening to her cry. I was absolutely miserable. I was her big brother. I was supposed to be her protector, not her abuser.

For the hundredth time, I asked myself, what had I done?

* * *

We avoided each other all week. Manny was furious that I didn't bring her to one of our lunches and told me he was hosting a party Saturday night and I'd better bring her. He hinted that my next performance review hinged on bringing Linda to his damn party. I told him I'd think about it.

I had to do a lot of cajoling and Linda only agreed to come with me to Manny's party when I promised her I'd look the other way if she had a drink or two. She was only twenty, but she looked older.

Once she'd agreed to come, she went about happily dolling herself up for the event. Saturday morning she had her nails done and her hair put into some kind of gorgeous style which had most of it piled on her head but suggestive tendrils framing her face. She went on and on about the online site she'd found that rented designer clothes and how she'd gotten a dress and shoes rushed overnight to us. She worried whether they would come in time, but the parcel service showed up by five and she grabbed the package from the courier and ran upstairs to change.

Manny had said the party was for dressing up and I debated whether to wear my tux. I texted him and he said he would be wearing his, so I got my expensive suit out and put it on. I had bow-ties and cummerbunds in several colors to match whatever my date wore. I wondered what color Linda's dress was. I went to her bedroom and rapped on the door.

"Not ready," she called from inside.

"I know," I said through the door. "What color is your dress?"

"What?"

"I need to know what color you're wearing so I can pick a tie."

I heard the door unlock and it opened a crack. I stared at it.

"Come and help me with my zipper," she said.

I pushed the door open and went into her room. She stood turned away from me in a slinky blue dress with the zipper still undone, showing the creamy skin of her bare back. She wasn't wearing a bra again. Even worse, the zipper began below her hips and she didn't seem to be wearing underwear. I looked longingly at the tops of her curvy buttocks. My hands trembled as I fumbled with her zipper. I managed to get it done up and she turned around.

The dress was blue with silver sparkles and left her arms, back, and cleavage bare. The color perfectly matched her eyes and the fabric perfectly clung to her svelte figure. She was gorgeous. She looked up at me and my heart raced.

"You look good," she said.

"Wait until you see me in the bow-tie and cummerbund," I said.

"Let me help."

She followed me to my room and I gave her my blue bow-tie. She adjusted the clips and fitted it around my neck, not too tight, not too loose. I started to put on the cummerbund and she took over, sliding her arms over my white shirt so she completely encircled me. She hooked the ends together, but kept her arms around me. I had reflexively put my arms on her shoulders, and we held each other like that for several moments, staring into each other's eyes.

"Kiss me," she said.

I wanted nothing more. Her lips were glossy and luscious in the evening light. I lowered my head and was within an inch of her mouth when I suddenly remembered myself. I let go of her and pulled back.

"I can't," I said. "It's not right."

"Maybe not, but how do you feel?" she asked.

I was silent.

"I know you're attracted to me," she said. "It's all over your face."

"It can't work between us," I said. "Mom and Dad would kill me."

"They'd get over it," she said.

"We can't have a family together," I said. "I want kids eventually."

She didn't say anything. Her eyes were clouded with tears. I couldn't help myself. I reached out and caressed the side of her face.

"Please don't cry," I said.

She turned away from me and moved toward the door.

"Let's just go," she said. "Otherwise, I'll ruin my makeup by bawling all over myself."

TO BE CONTINUED...