Summary:
A mom accidentally sucks and fucks her well-endowed son.
Note 1:
This is an
April Fool's 2015 Day
Contest Story. The theme for this
NEW
contest is: humorous, surprise meetings, trick endings or themes of deception, chance or misunderstanding (happy or otherwise). This story will fit at least one of those...enjoy.
Note 2:
Thanks to Robert, Wayne and goamz86 for editing.
GLORYHOLE MOMMY
"Bull shit," I called Ralph out, who was usually full of shit. If ten percent of what came out of his mouth was the truth that was a very good day.
"Seriously," he said, more animated than usual.
"You're telling me that you got a blow job at lunch time at the adult store?" I asked, still not remotely believing it.
"And she swallowed every drop," he continued.
"How do you know it was a girl?" Joey asked.
I laughed, "Yeah Ralph, you probably just became a homo."
"No, no, it was definitely a girl," Ralph countered, although the look on his face made it clear he wasn't so sure.
Joey laughed out loud, "Ralph got blown by a dude."
Ralph protested, trying to remain cool, even though it was obvious he had no idea, "No way, man, those lips were all woman."
"This based on your years of experience getting head," I quipped sarcastically.
"As if you should talk," Ralph countered back, which was a good point. I was a virgin. We were all virgins, although according to Ralph's many stories he got more pussy than Cody Watkins, our star quarterback and resident douche bag.
I shrugged, "I'm not the one making up the story."
"Let's go back tomorrow," Ralph said, "Old man Garrard said she is there every lunch hour."
Joey roared, "Could you imagine old man Garrard getting head."
"Fuck," I said shaking my head, "That is disgusting." Old man Garrard was in his eighties, and owned the adult shop just a couple of blocks from the school. He also wasn't remotely a stickler to the whole age issue. So nerds like us had been there on many occasions to buy adult magazines and, on occasion, go into those booths and watch porn flicks.
Being 1985, this was the only way to watch porn, unless you counted the scrambled channel shit...which, of course, we had watched many times on weekends straining our eyes trying to see a tit or nipple. (We were all too scared to rent porn on vhs...although we kept talking about it).
Joey agreed, "I'm in. Making Ralph eat crow is always fun to watch."
"I have my biology make-up test tomorrow at lunch," I said, which gave me a good excuse to not have to go. I had missed last week's test because I was at a chess tournament. Yep, I was a nerd.
Joey joked, "I'll do the intel for you."
"Yes, please find out his name," I joked back.
"Fuck both of you," Ralph snapped.
"Shit, he turned gay already," Joey said, "wanting to fuck us."
"Ralph, no is no," I joked, quoting some terrible film strip we had watched last week about keeping your virginity until marriage.
"God, you guys are assholes," Ralph said, shaking his head.
.....
The next day, I took my test while Ralph and Joey went to the adult shop. I was a few minutes late for class as it took me forever to finish the test, so I couldn't ask either of them about their trip although the smug look on Ralph's face when I entered English class told me everything.
I handed Mrs. Appleton the late slip, apologized and walked to my desk, where Joey just gave a knowing nod.
I couldn't believe it. Ralph wasn't lying. Even more significantly, they both likely got blow jobs, meaning I was the last one standing in terms of sexual experience. We were all virgins, but now I was the only one who hadn't had a blow job.
I was instantly jealous and instantly annoyed that I hadn't gone along.
I barely listened to the half hour discussion on Death of a Salesman and the many symbols that were rampant through the story as I pondered tomorrow and the possibility of getting my first ever blow job.
Instead, I replayed in my head a movie I had just seen in theatres...The Sure Thing. Every guy wants a sure thing, and I wondered if this was mine. The reality was that because I was incredibly smart, had some acne, and wore clothes that were out of style, I didn't fit in and sure didn't get the attention of the ladies. So, the closest I came to any sort of sex was with my left hand usually 3 or 4 times a day.
When class was done, Ralph walked over and smirked, "You missed out on heaven, Melvin." Also, my parents named me Melvin which wasn't even remotely a cool name.
"So it's a chick?" I asked, turning to Joey.
"Undeniably," Joey nodded.
"Did you?" I asked, even though the question was stupid.
"Oh yeah," he nodded, with a confidence I had never seen in him before.
"She swallowed every drop," Ralph added.
"I can't believe it," I said, shaking my head. This only happened in the porn movies, not in our small town of 14,000.
"Believe it," Joey nodded, "she is the real deal."
"Want to come tomorrow?" Ralph asked.
"I don't know," I said. Of course, I wanted to. Yet, the idea of my first time being some anonymous stranger wasn't really a great story to eventually tell the kids.
"Well, we're going," Ralph said, "I can't imagine fucking someone feeling any better than getting a blow job."
Joey, who never agreed with Ralph, nodded, "Melvin, you have got to try it. I can't even begin to explain how amazing it felt."
"Fine, I'll go," I nodded, feeling better about making the decision if I was being peer pressured for some reason...although truthfully I was generally the leader of this small group.
"You won't regret it," Ralph promised.
I jerked off that night, thinking of finally getting a blow job. Not surprisingly, I shot my load pretty quick.
.....
Next day at lunch, we walked to the adult store, Ralph talking like he was an expert after two blow jobs.
"She doesn't say anything," he explained, "just slide it in the hole. She will suck you, and swallow it all."
"She doesn't say a word?" I asked, instantly wondering how they knew she was a girl then.
"No," Ralph said, "when we asked her to prove she was a female she put her breast and nipple through the hole."
"No way!" I exclaimed, having never seen a girl's nipple or breast in real life.
"Oh yeah, I offered to suck on her nipple, but she moved it away, unfortunately," Ralph explained.
Joey added, "It looked like she has some huge tits."
"Crazy," I said, still unable to fathom all they were saying. It just seemed too good to be true.