No one under eighteen in sexual situations. There is some brother/sister incest, so if that's not for you stop reading. Flash story. Just a bit of fun.
*****
Tequila has a very bad reputation. And I am going to tell you, it is not, by any means, undeserved. I was celebrating the one year anniversary of the second happiest day of my life. The day my divorce became final! I usually celebrate this special day alone, sometimes I invite Jack Daniels, or Jim Beam. This year I had a long discussion with Jose Cuervo, and very, very importantly, I had cut up several dozen lime wedges before my drunken debacle began, thus avoiding another trip to the ER for stitches, from trying to cut limes while dead drunk. Another tip: never, ever cut limes in your lap, drunk or sober! This too I have learned the hard way!
This year it would seem that I have a girlfriend. Well maybe she is, and maybe she isn't. She has an ex- husband and I think an off again, on again, and again relationship exists there as well. She is a 'proximate' girlfriend. She gets less than four feet away from me, and she wants to fuck me... If she is calling me, then I have done something terrible in her eyes and she's going back to the ex. I can picture him going through the same thing in reverse. All I can say is poor fellow. I keep her things in big plastic bins so as to expedite her tearful farewells, which happen every other month, but sometimes every other damned WEEK. The only good thing is that later, her begging for me to take her back, and our makeup sex is very, very outstanding! She is very good with her mouth, and she now seems to enjoy anal orgasms even more than her big vaginal climaxes! Fuck, that girl can fuck! So I was not really expecting any female of the species to visit my small house in the sticks. My life was just grand. Out of the blue, and lacking the basic courtesy to call ahead, so I could run and hide my ass somewhere... my younger sister showed up to badger me about some set-up girl she had fixed me up with. I don't think she really vets her potential mates for me, as the last one had several hundred tattoos and many numerous piercings, and told me she was primarily interested in meeting and fucking women! Funny thing is, we had a fine time. Turns out Jean likes steaks, she loves Guinness as much as I do, she is really good at darts. She is a very good sport. We played strip darts, which I lost. She had asked me to lick her cooch and I obliged, saying I was really a lesbian trapped in a mans body! Jean was very, very grateful, and decided to return the favor by sucking my cock. She had drunk about four hours worth of drinks, and I think she might be one of those closet-straight-gay girls because she was really very good at sucking cock! My goodness next thing she's on top of me shoving my meat into her almost virginal vagina. Jean rode me like a bucking bronco and screamed as she came hard on my cock! We had fucked hard three times, and she was wonderful! I gave her as many good orgasms as I could, and she really liked it. Lesbian?
Could have fooled me. She almost fucked me to death.
Afterwards she was all too worried about the possible consequences of us fuckin up a storm. Jean liked the sex, but hated the rumor mill. She thought I was going to discuss our tryst.
"Are you going to blab everything we did all over town?" She asked with a worried look.
I asked her, "Have you ever heard anyone say anything about any of my bedmates ever?" Real gentleman never kiss and tell.
She said, "No, I have never heard a word."
I said "Jean...I will never say one word of it to anyone, and your little secret will go with me to the grave." I wouldn't say anything to anyone either. None of their damned business.
Jean kissed me up and down and said, "You're alright for a guy."
I said "You're ok for a guy too!" We laughed.
I said that "You are so damned good in bed, you don't bitch and complain, you like to get good and shitfaced now and then. You play darts, and shoot pool better than I do. You are the perfect girl."
"You're just saying that!" Jean said.
"Hell no! Do I seem like the kind of guy to blow a little sunshine up your ass? I have no axe to grind. I seriously doubt that you and I will ever fall in love like in the romance novels, but I do like you. You're a good person, and you're straight forward with me, and you are so damned fun to be with!" I hugged her.
"Tell you what, I'll be happy to give you another lesson in fuckin straight style, though I know it's not like your gonna be here a lot. You will always be very welcome in my house and in my arms." I said to her.
"And in your bed?" She asked.
"Well you will have to make reservations for that. You can see all the women breaking down my door to fuck me!" We both laughed.
"Well John Joseph Carlin they should be. I had so much fun with you. If I was to ask you to fuck me till I was pregnant, would you do it?"
"Nope... Not unless I get to be in the child's life. My ex pretty much destroyed all the love my kids used to have for me. If I get to be a father, well that is way, way different. That I would do in a heartbeat. Yeah, for you I would like to do it. I trust you Jean."
"I think you would be a good father too. When the time comes, if I find the right girl..."
"Definitely bring her over!"
