I hated Sarah.
Well, I loathed her, to be more precise.
Which was why it shocked me when she and my sister, Rayya, asked if I could be their sperm donor.
We were at the local coffee shop, not too far from where Rayya and I shared an apartment. It wasn't a Starbucks—there were no Starbucks in this part of Toronto—but Rayya and I had known the owners since we were in elementary school, and besides, they served good latte.
Admittedly, I thought it was weird when they invited me out. Rayya knew that I hated her girlfriend—the feeling was mutual, she once reminded me—and always met with us separately. The last time the three of us were together was to celebrate Rayya's birthday, and, even then, we tried to stay clear of each other.
If that hadn't been clue enough that they were plotting something, Rayya's behavior should have been a dead giveaway. She was normally talkative and outgoing. Before she and Sarah hooked up a few years back, Rayya was the one to plan out what we were going to do every day: feed fried chicken to Uncle Sam's crazy dog, visit the abandoned train tracks where it was once believed that ghosts haunted. And while she had mellowed out significantly since she started dating Sarah, she was still the extrovert in our family.
Now, however, she found it hard to meet my eyes. When I asked her if she and Sarah wanted my help with something, she laughed as if I had just delivered the punchline to a hilarious joke. Sarah had to elbow Rayya so that my sister could stop being an idiot and get to the fucking point.
"The truth is, little brother," Rayya said. Her voice had dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, which was pointless because we were the only ones in the coffee shop. I had to lean forward to hear her next words. "We want you to be our sperm donor."
"Sorry?" I asked. Had I misheard her?
Rayya groaned. "We want you to be our sperm donor, you dick!"
One of the owners of the coffee shop, who had been cleaning glasses behind the bar, raised his flaccid jowls in our direction, and then disappeared into the kitchen. Sarah's cheeks burned crimson and she stared daggers at Rayya, who, after saying what was on her mind, became more relaxed.
"Wait. You're serious? I didn't know you guys wanted a child." I tried to play it cool, but I knew I was doing a poor job of it. I took a sip of my latte to hide my puzzlement—and discomfort. "Isn't it a bit... soon?"
"You don't get to decide the right time for us to have kids," Sarah said.
"Most couples wait until they both have jobs before thinking of having kids."
"You have zero right to comment on my employment history." Not intending to give me a chance to respond, Sarah stood up to leave, but before she could walk away from our table, Rayya grabbed her hand.
"Can you two stop arguing with each other for five minutes?" When we made no gesture to indicate that we could stop arguing with each other for any length of time, Rayya said, "For me?"
"You're a bitch, you know that?" Sarah asked, half-joking.
For once, I agreed with her, though I wouldn't admit it. Rayya simply grinned when Sarah returned to her seat.
I took another sip of my latte.
"Let's say that I agree to do this," I said, "Where are we going to get the money for it? Artificial insemination doesn't sound cheap."
"It's not. We checked," Rayya admitted, "Which was why we had a different idea."
The door to the coffee shop opened and I was temporarily distracted by the lady who entered. She was my type: tall, dark skin, full lips, and a hot rack. She seemed a bit young but that didn't bother me. The man who had directed his jowls at us revealed himself from behind the kitchen to take the lady's order.
"Hey, bro, I understand if your little guy gets distracted, but can I have your attention?"
"It's not little."
Rayya ignored me. "As I was saying, Sarah and I had a different idea. Actually, Aunt Karen gave the idea to us."
That got my attention. "Does dad know that you and Aunt Karen still talk?"
"Dad doesn't have to know shit. Right? Now, can I return to what I was saying?"
I nodded. Rayya continued, "Aunt Karen couldn't afford artificial insemination, either, when she and Ms. Michelle were together. But, they still really wanted a kid. Well, Ms. Michelle happened to have an older brother who was much more understanding about their relationship than our dad was. Because her little brother knew how badly they wanted a child, and because they were all very close, he agreed to inseminate Aunt Karen the old fashioned way."
I nearly spat out my latte. The lady who had just entered gave me a weird look as she left. The man with the thick jowls disappeared behind the kitchen again.
"Aunt Karen had sex with her girlfriend's brother?"
"It's not sex!" Sarah said. Her cheeks were red again. "Ms. Michelle's brother just jerked himself off. Then, he stuck his penis into Ms. Karen right before he shot his load. If you call that 'sex', then that says a lot about your past relationships."
Admittedly, the execution sounded less glamorous than what one thought of when they imagined sex. Still, my penis would be going into Sarah's pussy. "I don't know about this," I said.
"What? You don't find Sarah attractive?" Rayya asked.
"It's not that," I must have said this with more conviction than I realized because Sarah and Rayya looked surprised. "Don't get me wrong. I still hate Sarah. That won't change. But, I also have eyes. And I know that you didn't fall in love with her just for her personality."
"You're damn right," Rayya admitted and laughed when Sarah punched her shoulder. That got me laughing, too.
Sarah was one of the few white women I knew, and while I didn't have a fetish for snow bunnies, I had to admit that Sarah was a hot piece of ass. She had blonde hair, brown eyes, killer tits, and an ass that begged to be spanked. Because she usually dressed conservatively—even now, she wore a hoodie and sweatpants—one would be forgiven in thinking that she was unattractive. Thankfully, she dressed more liberally when she visited Rayya and me.
I cleared my throat to get their attention. "Say that I do agree to this. Won't it make things kind of awkward?"
"I won't make it awkward if you won't," Rayya said.
She and I then looked to Sarah, who rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. When this is over, we'll hate each other just as much."
We agreed to meet at Sarah's house on Saturday. She said she felt more comfortable there than at our place. I couldn't blame her for that.
Rayya had told me to not jerk off before we all planned to meet. "We need all that baby batter for Saturday," she reminded me. When I wasn't seeing a woman, which I hadn't been for at least a few months, I would jerk off multiple times a day.
Going five days without fapping would be a challenge.