Author's Note: Thanks to LizHaze for stuff and things.
*****
It wasn't that I disliked spending time with my family. That wasn't it. I enjoyed fairly good relationships with my parents, brother, aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents. There wasn't a single one of them that I hated or that I didn't want to be around. It was just that having all of them in one place at the same time was overwhelming, to put it delicately.
Mom's side of the family was fairly large. At least once a year there'd be a gathering of everyone who could make it. Every year I was torn between wanting to see all of my relatives and wanting to make an excuse to avoid them like the plague. My feelings on the subject didn't really matter. Mom did an excellent job of guilting me into participating if I showed even the slightest hint of reluctance.
I sometimes thought that it might have been easier to deal with if I were a boy instead of a girl. The family was a bit matriarchal in some ways, and the girls were all expected to participate in certain discussions and activities. My brother, on the other hand, was usually free to wander off and do whatever he wanted.
This year I was eighteen, which was kind of an awkward age at the family gathering since I wasn't considered a child, but also not really considered an adult. It meant that I got roped into a lot of adult discussions that I wasn't supposed to contribute to. No one seemed interested in my arguments as to why the arrangement didn't make any sense.
All of that led to me being bored out of my mind one afternoon while sitting quietly in a room full of my mother and aunts, and some of my older cousins. A couple of my uncles were there too, and they looked just as unhappy about it as I was. There were 'important' things that the women of the family needed to be kept informed about. That was what I was told. I had yet to hear anything that I would have regretted not knowing.
I very nearly thanked god out loud when my phone buzzed, indicating that I'd received a text. I got several mildly disapproving looks as I fished the offending noisemaker out of my pocket, but no one actually said anything. Until I was given a direct order to put my phone away, I fully intended to take any distraction I could get.
The text was from Simon, my older brother.
"How's the secret meeting going?" it read.
"Painful," I wrote back. Then, as an afterthought, "You're a lucky bastard, not getting dragged into these things."
"I'm aware."
The dirty looks were getting to be more overt, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I was asked 'politely' to put my phone away. I had a sudden burst of inspiration, a plan to make my getaway. The worst that could happen is Simon might just ignore me.
"Wait a few minutes then call me," I wrote. "I'll owe you."
I put my phone back in my pocket and tried to look apologetic. I hoped Simon would come through for me. If not I'd just have to sit there and pray for Armageddon. It was as good a bet as any.
Right around the time I was starting to get antsy and suspect that he wasn't going to call, my phone rang. I knew who it was, but I made a show of checking the caller. I tried my best to ignore the numerous disapproving stares and the soft muttering.
"Marcia dear," Mom said, "can you put your phone away for another few minutes."
Right. A few minutes. I almost laughed.
"Sorry," I said with all the sincerity I could muster. "It's just... my friend, Jill, her cat just died and she's kind of upset. I tried to tell her I'd text her more later, but..."
Mom frowned, probably suspicious of my story, and rightly so. I held my expression of concern for the next few rings until I was finally waved away by my mother. I darted out of the room, answering the phone while I was still in earshot.
"Hi, Jill," I said.
"Hey, Little Miss Pants-on-fire," Simon answered.
"It's so terrible what happened," I said, trying to hurry out of hearing range of the room I'd just left. "He was so young."
"I'm on the back deck if you want to join me, Pinocchio."
"Yeah, just give me a sec," I said, lowering my voice slightly.
I hung up and slipped my phone back in my pocket just before heading out the back door onto the deck. My dad and one of my uncles were sitting off to the side drinking beer, and several of my younger cousins were playing out in the yard. My brother was sitting on the steps with a beer of his own, staring off into the distance.
"Well if it isn't Liepants McGee," he greeted me.
"Clever. You got many more of those?"
"A few. I'll save 'em for next time."
"Looking forward to it."
I sat down next to Simon with a big sigh of relief. I might catch some flak for not returning to the meeting, but I was okay with that. Odds were good that they'd all get distracted by some minor piece of family drama and forget I was ever there.
Simon handed me his beer and I took a long drink from it before handing it back. Dad saw us, but just shook his head and pretended he hadn't seen anything.
"Seriously though, thank you," I said.
"No problem. 'Sides, it's always kinda fun when you owe me."
"Uh huh. Whatever. It's still totally worth it." I nudged his arm and gestured to the kids playing. "I kinda wish I was still that young sometimes."
"I know what you mean. Things were simpler, weren't they? Even if we didn't appreciate it at the time."
"More fun too. No 'sponsibilities hanging over our heads all the time."
Simon took a another drink from his beer then handed it back to me. I drained what was left of it.
"Get me another one?" he asked.
"I just sat down. Can't you get it yourself?"
"I dunno, I'm kinda comfortable where I am. How about you go get me another beer and we'll be even? That'll take care of what you owe me."
"Really? Someone's feeling awfully generous today."
"What can I say? I am a wise and benevolent brother."
I rolled my eyes, but let his statement pass without comment. He'd made it worth staying on his good side.
I went to the kitchen and pulled two bottles of beer out of the fridge. I popped the tops off of both of them, then poured one into an opaque cup. Simon could drink openly if he wanted, he was over nineteen, but I would be tempting fate not to be at least a little bit sneaky about it. There was no telling when my mother or one of my aunts might take issue with what was technically underage drinking.
Simon was exactly where I'd left him when I got back. I handed him his bottle and sat down with my own drink. He smiled when he realized what was in my cup. I put my finger to my lips to indicate that I'd rather he not say anything out loud. He simply held up his beer in salute, then took a swallow.
"I can't believe Mom wouldn't go for a hotel room or anything," I said. "It's gonna be so crowded tonight."
"Oh yeah? Where are you sleeping?"
"I don't even know yet. It's still being decided. I'll probably end up sharing a room with two or three of the younger girls."
"Ha! Well that'll be fun."
"Shut up. What about you? I don't suppose you're planning on sneaking out at some point, are you? Take me with you?"
Simon shook his head and chuckled. "No, 'fraid not. I did, however, have the forethought to bring a tent with me." He pointed out into the yard. "All I have to do is set it up somewhere and I'll at least have a little bit of privacy."
"Is it maybe, like, a two person tent by any chance?"
"Maybe. Why?"
I stuck out my bottom lip and gave him my most pitiful puppy dog eyes.
"Pwease share with me?" I asked, injecting just a little bit of a whine into my voice. "Puh-wease, big brudder?"
"Cut it out," he said, shoving me playfully. "That's such a sad look on you. And all just for the chance to share a cramped tent on the lumpy, uncomfortable ground."
"It's better than sharing a room with the rugrats. I've done it before and I don't want to repeat the experience."
"Oh come on, it's good bonding time for you." He pitched his voice higher in a surprisingly good imitation of Mom. "You don't get to see your cousins very often, you know. It'd be good for you to spend time with them. You're-"
I shoved him back harder than he had pushed me. He nearly toppled over sideways, mainly because he was more concerned with keeping his drink upright than himself.
"I don't need two mothers, thank you very much," I said. "The one I have already does a more than adequate job of nagging me."
"Careful, I wouldn't let her hear you say that if I were you."
"I know. I'm not stupid. Seriously though, can we share your tent?"
"Well... maybe if you set it up..."
"What, by myself you mean? Simon, you know that would be a disaster. I'll help, but you're gonna have to at least guide me."
He made a show of considering my proposal. I wasn't concerned about his apparent lack of decisiveness. I knew he'd say yes, he was just trying to make me squirm at this point. If he was going to say no, he would have done so already.
"There you are, Marcia," Mom said from behind us. It was as if our talking about her had summoned her. "Are you coming back in now? It looks like you're done consoling your friend."
"Sorry, Mom," I said. "Simon and me were just gonna go set up a tent for tonight. You know, to make the sleeping arrangements easier and everything."
Simon took another drink from his beer to cover up his smile. Mom looked like she knew that I was trying to get out of having to go back inside, but my excuse was pretty reasonable. She couldn't argue that it wasn't. She could, however, tell me to deal with it later, or perhaps tell Simon to put the tent up himself. I waited patiently for Mom's response, my face a mask of innocence and good intentions.
"Alright," she finally said with a sigh. "Go put your tent up. But I expect you to help get supper ready later on."
"Okay, Mom. I will."
Mom turned around and went back in the house. Simon drained the rest of his beer and stood up.
"You got lucky, Marcy," he said. "She was about ready to drag you back in there by your ear."
"Don't think I don't know that."
"Uh huh. Anyway, we better get to work before she comes back to check up on us. I'll go grab the tent, you try and find a flat piece of yard for us."
"Deal."
****
Getting the tent set up took longer than it should have. Having our younger cousins around to 'help' and spectate contributed to the difficulty of the project. A couple of the boys kept trying to steal the poles and pretend they were swords. Simon just laughed as they took turns beating each other over the head, which only encouraged them.
